Cruel Summer
The next morning Lily woke up thinking it had been a dream. She just couldn't believe that what had happened was true; James Potter - her biggest enemy - had come into her room, kissed her and told her he loved her.
Her mind just screamed, `Nightmare…nightmare…of course it wasn't real…don't be so stupid!'
But inside…deep inside, she knew the truth. She had felt him place that soft kiss on her forehead; she knew she couldn't dream a touch like that. She had heard the words that escaped his lips in a whisper.
Lily cringed as she sat at her vanity table, looking closely at her reflection. The soft red waves tumbled over her shoulders and down her back, her emerald eyes searching her face for answers that she just didn't have. They had to come from the boy that created the questions. She groaned at the thought of asking him.
Damn, why does this have to be so complicated?
Lily could remember the exact time she woke up. She had woken feeling lips press against the sensitivity of her palm, and the strange feeling of breathy words crossing over her skin. When she got past the thought of a madman in her bedroom and realised exactly that it was James, she had opened her eyes just enough that she could make out dull shapes but not enough that he would see her watching him.
The words that fell from his lips easily had startled her slightly. She didn't understand…how did he want things different? He hated himself?
What was all that? More lies? Or…something different?
Lily really didn't know…didn't want to know…didn't want to find out if the random thoughts that flitted through her brain was just her mind running in overdrive or…a real knowledge of the issue.
`Well why would he lie to you while he thought you were asleep?' her mind argued.
God knows! Maybe because he's twisted that way!
`But maybe it wasn't like that! You can overreact you know.'
What is this? The Recapture of the Fairytale Romance Movement?
`Don't be so bitter!' her mind snapped, `You could really have something special!'
Ugh! Pur-lease! Potter wouldn't know how to work a serious relationship if it came with step-by-step instructions!
`Well if he is such a cold-hearted git, tell me how you managed to find yourself in bed last night?'
WHAT? You can't be suggesting…
`Oh come on, you knew it was in the back of your mind!'
What I know is that I'm arguing with myself! I must be going crazy!
The other voice stopped abruptly and Lily looked back at her reflection in the mirror. She quickly realised that over-applied her make-up; going far past the subtlety look.
`Damn it!' she moaned, looking at the dark mascara, `I look like an over-enthusiastic whore!'
Lily grabbed a couple of tissues, stood up and walked to the bathroom door. She had loved the idea of having an en suite bathroom in her room, but the novelty flew out of her mind due to the present make-up issue. She reached for the door handle, turning it and stepping into the plush white room. Making a beeline for the sink, she ran the tap and placed the tissues into the running water. The tissues wet, she lifted them up and looked in the mirror.
A cough on the other side of the room caused her to glance into the mirror, and yelp when she saw James' reflection. Lily spun around quickly, dropping the forgotten tissues onto the flawless tiled floor.
Lily couldn't move her eyes away from him. His wet hair hung around his face, droplets of water hanging off the ends and dropping onto his bare shoulders. Lily, in the back of her mind, thanked god for the towel that covered his bottom half.
Not like you haven't seen it before though.
`Um…' she started searching for words, `S-sorry…'
She started backing towards the door, quickly forgetting the make-up issue, all she knew she had to get out of there…away from his body.
`Lil, it's okay,' she heard him say softly, but she slammed the bathroom door with her on the other side of it.
Lily leant on the door as she closed it, breathing a sigh of relief of getting out of there fast.
Why did he have to look so damn hot? This makes it so much harder!
She cringed at the situation and grabbed her school bag that rested on the chair next to her. Lily opened her bedroom door, walked fast into the common room and walking straight for the Veela portrait. She needed to be out of his way for a while; that sight really was a shock to the system and she didn't know if she could act normally around him anymore. What with the events of last night and this, it was turning out to be one of those days.
****************************
The Great Hall was fairly empty when Lily walked into it. It was quite early for everyone to be downstairs for breakfast, but it saved the awkward moments of James at the table at the same time. She needed time to think about what had happened, and him; stealing glances at her every 5 seconds wasn't really going to make that possible.
Lily didn't know what she had felt when he had said those words, but she did know she had felt something.
Lily looked down at the plate of waffles in front of her, not really acknowledging that she should eat them, and sighed in exasperation. She heard movement next to her and felt someone sit down on the chair beside hers. She didn't move or look up.
Please don't be James. Please don't be James.
There was a slight pause and the person waved their hand in front of her face, `Earth to Lily.'
Lily looked up into the smiling gaze of the Ravenclaw chaser.
`H-hi Matthew,' she answered quickly, wondering what she looked like, `what are you doing up so early?'
The Ravenclaw moved his eyes over Lily, thinking she looked a little different…he couldn't place his finger on what it was thought, but he definitely wasn't complaining.
`Training, you?' he breathed.
She wracked her brain for a suitable excuse, `Erm…I just felt like getting up early…I've got to see Dumbledore soon.'
He seemed to buy the alibi and she turned back to the plate of waffles, feeling his eyes still on her. There was a pause before either of them spoke.
`So…you still dating James?'
Lily spun around fast to face him, words bubbling inside her but not able to string them into a sentence, `Wha…no…I never went out…me and James aren't like that.'
Well…sort of…
Matthew raised his eyebrows at her and smiled, `Oh…that's good.'
She looked at him, her emerald eyes searching his face, and then realisation dawning on her, `Oh…'
Lily smiled at him shyly, her auburn hair falling into her face as she looked at the waffles again. He reached out and tucked a lock of her red hair behind her ear, and she shifted her eyes to look at him. A fluttering feeling came across her as he gazed at her and stroked her hair softly.
`Lily…you are so…undoubtedly…the prettiest girl in Hogwarts.'
She felt herself flush at his choice of words and her mind flitted back to James and…his choice of words. They had a different effect on her than Matthews, but she didn't know what the differences were.
`Erm…thanks…that's really erm…sweet,' she smiled at him.
Then all she realised was that he was coming towards her. Lily couldn't move as he moved his face around and kissed her cheek gently, pulling away slowly. Matthew stood up and touched her chin.
`I've got training now…I'll catch you later maybe.'
Lily watched him smile, turn away and walk out of the hall, other Ravenclaw Quidditch players following him. She looked away and her eyes caught Rachel walking fast towards her from the Great Hall entrance, glancing at Matthew when he passed her. The blonde girl rushed up to her and sat down in the seat he had just occupied, her blue eyes glittering with what she had just witnessed.
`What was that about?'
The girl practically squirmed in her seat from anticipation, awaiting Lily's explanation. Lily looked at Rachel and laughed slightly; no matter what mood she was ever in, she could guarantee that Rachel would make her feel better.
`Well…he spoke to me is all.'
`Oh pur-lease, he did more than that!'
Lily blushed at her friend, `Rachel, he kissed me on the cheek, that was it!'
The blonde girl looked at her best friend and raised an eyebrow, sitting back on the seat, `Sure.'
Lily narrowed her eyes at her friend in mock irritation, `You spend too much time with the Slytherins, you know.'
Rachel stuck out her tongue at her and grabbed an uneaten waffle on Lily's plate, biting into it.
`I'll catch you later,' Rachel grinned, purposely using the same line as Matthew, and walking over to where Ben sat with some of the Slytherins.
**************************
Lily had spent the remaining time that she had in the library. She had decided to do some research and sort out her timetable before she had to go and see Professor Dumbledore. When her wristwatch showed 5 minutes to 9, Lily packed up her things and made her way to the Headmasters office.
The office was still the exact same and Lily smiled to herself at the familiarity. She walked up to the statue and said the password clearly. The statue jumped aside and she climbed the stairs leading to the large door.
Lily knocked lightly and pushed it open. She was greeted by Professor Dumbledore sitting behind his desk, and smiling at her in the way he always did. Shifting her gaze to the side, she saw James sitting in one of the seats, looking at her with a face like thunder.
`Where have you been?' he growled at her.
Professor Dumbledore stepped in, `Forgive Mr Potter, Miss Evans. He apparently thought you'd disappeared…he was very worried.'
`I wasn't!'
Dumbledore observed James over his half moon spectacles, and James slumped back into his seat, muttering something under his breath. The Headmaster looked back at Lily and smiled, gesturing to the seat in front of his desk, next to James'.
Lily glanced at the Head Boy as she sat down, then looking back to Dumbledore.
`I had breakfast early,' she started, resulting in James' eyes to shift over to her.
`You could have told me Lily! You know…mentioned it before I thought you'd been kidnapped or something.'
`I don't have to tell you my every move,' she continued, `plus you could have looked in the library…I was there as well.'
James turned back to Professor Dumbledore and sat up in his chair, `I went into the common room and she wasn't there! How was I supposed to kn…'
`Ok Mr Potter,' Dumbledore spoke, silencing him, `I've just been made aware of this.'
James glanced at Lily again and folded his arms. She was amazed at how that action made him look even more childish than he already did.
He might as well start pouting, he couldn't look any worse.
She decided to ignore him and acknowledge Dumbledore once again. The Headmaster told both Head's all about their duties and such. It was basically similar to the Prefects but they got to organise all the school events, Hogsmeade trips and the Balls that they had occasionally. Lily was especially delighted at the fact that she could do the Balls. She always loved the beautiful decorations and the processions that always went on. She literally buzzed from excitement that she would design and help create one of the best events in Hogwarts.
They also had really boring stuff to do but Lily decided to forget about that until it was needed to be done - which wasn't soon she was glad at.
James had put in his contribution of frowning and grunting to suggestions on everything, but Lily wasn't really surprised. She seriously didn't know how he became Head Boy; he would rather be out there with the rest of the Marauders thinking up pranks for some innocent individual.
The topic progressed over to the library contents, `Naturally, you both have access to the Restricted Section, but I would advise you not to use the books for…your normal leisure pursuits.'
Dumbledore had looked pointedly at James and Lily knew exactly why.
God, the Restricted Section…I can't imagine what they would do with books from there!
`Don't worry Professor, we won't,' she spoke clearly.
James looked at her for the millionth time. She looked so pretty today; her eyes seemed darker than usual, giving her a sharp sense of sex appeal. He was in awe of…well, everything about her. The way she was also so mature…so unlike him, the grown-up way she addressed the Headmaster. Everything. He could never live up to that. Lily was a unique creature, and he, as per usual screwed up every chance he had with her.
I can't believe how I was so stupid. Look at her…she's never gonna forgive you. She's so beautiful…damn why did I fuck things up!
James rubbed his forehead in irritation and averted his gaze away from her hair that shimmered under the soft light of the candles.
`Now…' Dumbledore said to them, `I have told you all you need to know for the time being. You should get to class now…I believe your first lesson is charms.'
Lily smiled cordially, `Thank you Professor.'
She stood up and made her way to the door, going out of it. James stood also, thanked Dumbledore quickly and jogged out of his office, after her. She was making her way into the hallway when James caught up with her.
`Lil…can I walk with you?' he asked gently, `We do have the same lesson.'
Lily narrowed her eyes at the boy next to her and kept walking, `I'm aware of that.'
For god sake, why can't she just speak normally to me?
`Lily, I said I'm sorry…what else can I do?'
The Head Girl sighed; she didn't want to talk to him about this. She was having a hard enough time trying not to think about the events of last night. She wanted to question him and his words but she was scared. She didn't know how to handle him.
`Look…can we just not…do this right now.'
James felt the anger flare up inside him, and he grabbed her arm, turning her to face him, `Well when do you want to do it then Lily? What's the best time that suits you?'
The shock was quickly replaced by anger, and she glared back at him, `Don't you dare talk to me like that! You should be ashamed to even speak in front of me, after what you did!'
`I am ashamed Lily!' he shouted, his fingers digging into her arms more, `God, you don't even see that!'
`No I don't see it James!' she spat, anger dulling the pain of his fingers, `You lied to me…how am I ever supposed to believe you again?'
He pushed her away from him, and turned around; not knowing what to do. Lily felt the feeling come back to her arms and knew in would take a couple of charms to hide the bruises. James looked back at her, pinching the bridge of his nose at the stress of the situation.
What's she doing to me? I need to get out of here.
Lily watched him back away from her, and then he turned to walk down the corridor in the direction of the charms room.
********************************
The charms lesson had gone fairly well. Dumbledore had warned them that they would be partnered frequently together in all of their subjects, but Professor Flitwick decided that today wouldn't be a practical lesson, so no partners were needed. Lily loved charms and she was exceptionally good in it. She dreaded the time when she would have to be partnered with James, because she knew he would make things difficult for her.
The next lesson they had was Muggle Studies, which was also another subject that they shared, but James didn't really take much notice of the Professor or what he said. He, Sirius and Peter had decided to choose Muggle Studies for one of their subjects because they thought it would be easy. But sadly, from a Pureblood Wizards point of view, it definitely wasn't.
The class was separated into Ravenclaw students on one side and Gryffindor's on the other. Lily sat at the front of the class with Rachel, who also took the subject. They both liked this lesson because they were together, and that fact seemed to make the subject more fun.
`Yeah, will you help me arrange the Halloween Ball? It'll be so much better if you help.'
Rachel squealed with excitement, `Oh my god! Of course! What did you have in mind?'
`Well, I'm not sure yet,' Lily said, tapping the end of her quill on her cheek, `maybe something like, costumes…I don't really know.'
`Oh, it'll be so beautiful…everyone dressing up.'
Lily regarded her best friend and let out a small chuckle at her enthralled expression. Anyone would have thought Rachel was ditzy, but Lily knew better. She was extremely bubbly and Lily loved her for it. Rachel was the vivacious one, whereas Lily was level headed, and both personalities created a great friendship between them.
James, after sitting behind the girls and hearing their conversation, sat forward in his seat.
`Lily, I thought we were meant to do that Halloween thing together!'
Lily and Rachel slowly turned around to face the three Marauders.
`Don't worry Jamie,' Rachel grinned, `you'll get her back afterwards.'
Lily glared at her best friend, not realising how much she just put her foot in it. James sat back in his seat and Sirius watched both girls vigilantly, his dark eyes shifting over both of them.
`Dumbledore said…'
`Plus boys can't arrange stuff,' Rachel continued, cutting him off, `it's a fact.'
Now Sirius sat up in his seat, `Why don't you shut your mouth Rachel, and go home to the Slytherins where you belong.'
The Gryffindor girl smirked slightly, `Make me, Black.'
`Look,' Lily snapped, `I want Rache to help me with this…plus, she's right, boys can't arrange stuff…I'd like to see the Ball you four come up with.'
`So would I,' Sirius sneered, `Cos it would be a damn sight better than some pink and frilly, girly-girl one!'
Lily glared at the Marauder, `Shut up, Sirius.'
She laughed at herself in her head, and turned back to her desk. How much Sirius had changed from the art of seduction, back to a stupid, immature little sod.
Very much glad that that incident never happened!
The Professor's voice rang out across the large classroom, `Now, you all should be finished making notes on Muggle shops by this time.'
After the positive response from the students the professor continued, `Good…then I will proceed in telling you all about the Muggle assignment that will be part of your Muggle Studies, N.E.W.T examination. This project will be for half of your final grade so it should be done extremely well…that is why we are starting it immediately.'
Lily listened intently to the Professor and thought, `Wow…this might actually be quite interesting.'
`Now I understand the Head Boy and Girl are in this class, and I am aware of the fact that Miss Evans is a Muggleborn herself…so if anyone has any questions about the task, I'm sure she would be very happy to help. I also understand that, Mr Potter spent three 3 weeks in the Muggle world…Professor Dumbledore informed me of this and said that it would be benefit the course a great deal.'
Lily glanced at James, who was watching her intently and she turned around quickly again
This is embarrassing… James…Sirius sitting next to him…a girl could really freak out…calming breaths…calming breaths…
`So…' The Professor continued, `Mr Potter has probably had some experience in the matter. Very good…this project should be a good one.'
Then Lily heard James speak, `Professor…would you mind telling us exactly what the project actually is?'
How can he talk to a teacher like that? I'm sure the Professor was going to tell us next!
`Yes of course Mr Potter.'
After quite a boring 15 minutes, the students had found out that their project was on Muggle Leisure. It was basically on Shopping Centres, Leisure Parks - which the Professor had adamantly insisted were called `Pleasure Larks' - and other Muggle amusements. Lily had thought this would be quite an easy subject, whereas some of the other pureblood students - Rachel included - didn't really understand the concept of Muggle entertainment.
They would be partnered - as usual - and they would go on school visits to Muggle Shopping and other Leisure Centres. Rachel was already deciding what Muggle clothing she would wear on these trips, making Lily laugh at her friend again for the 6 thousandth time.
James was glad when the Professor announced it was time to leave. He was going slightly mad from watching her and wishing. He was playing little images out in his mind of her. He was imagining that no one was here; it was just him and her in the classroom…no one else. She was just sitting there doing her work…he moved up behind her…stroking her hair…then she looked up at him…smiling at him gently…then she got up…pressing her body against him…then he kissed her beautiful red lips…
`James?'
Lily's voice shook him out of his fantasies, and he focused on her pretty face, `Yeah?'
She glared at his nonchalant expression and moved towards him, her features softening, `James…make love to me…right here…please…'
`Oh Lil…god I want you.'
James pushed his fingers into her hair, moving his face towards hers and capturing her lips in a long languorous kiss. She whimpered softly against the delicious torture. He slid his hands down her body, brushing her nipples and she arched her body into his…
`Prongs?'
into his…
`Prongs mate?'
The dream slipped out of his mind like water from a sieve, and he looked at Padfoot, `What?'
`Can I have your Pizza? I figured you didn't want it,' Sirius said, pointing to James' plate, `You've just been staring at it for ages.'
`Yeah whatever,' he answered, pushing his lunch plate towards the other Marauder.
James looked around the Great Hall, sliding his glance along the table he caught sight of her…taking to that Reede guy…again.
God…what is with that guy? He's like jumping on her! It's disgusting!
James stood up, attracting attention from the rest of the Marauders.
`Erm…I'm gonna go out to the Quidditch pitch…do some training.'
`Ok Prongsie,' Sirius stated, biting into the pizza, `see ya later.'
James walked towards the Great Hall entrance, away from everyone…away from her. He shook his head and chuckled in spite of himself.
What the hell am I gonna do if I can't be around her for one bloody day?
I'm royally fucked!
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