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These Thoughts of You by T.C. Geralds
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These Thoughts of You

T.C. Geralds

Author's Note and Disclaimer: Thanks to everyone that reviewed the first two parts of the story. It always makes an author's day to get feedback! No, I still don't own Harry Potter unfortunately. No profit is being made from this, I just write in JK's world because I love it.

Part 3: Reaching for the Light

Live.

The voice startles me. All has been quiet in this place - I can only describe it as a tranquil silver sea. I've been floating on the current, letting the waves carry me where they will. In the distance, a pure and blinding light grows steadily closer. I don't think I've ever felt more at peace. The sound of the water is soothing, and the promise of…..something…..is whispered in the air. It is hard to describe the softly voiced thoughts being played through my mind. The closest I can come is love. This feeling is like being surrounded by pure, unadulterated love. No wonder the voice seems so harsh amidst all the calmness.

Live.

When I first heard it, it sounded incredibly far away. It was almost an echo. After the third time, however, it seemed closer. The voice shatters the tranquility; imperious, demanding. I am reminded of something as I hear it more loudly in my head: A pair of green eyes, a shock of unruly black hair, and a mischievous grin. I know this voice. It is important to me. Realization hits like a thunderbolt.

Harry.

I remember now. I am dead. Voldemort killed me, and Harry killed him. It is Harry's voice I hear coming to me over the waves. How can this be? No….could he be dead too? All sense of peace vanishes as this horrible thought strikes home. He couldn't have died. I felt him holding me in his arms. I remember his tears on my face. That was the last thing I remember before waking up in this place.

It is strange, this feeling of disembodiment. There are no limbs to move, and so I continue to float. Harry's voice is getting louder in my head; more insistent. Something else seems mixed in with the words - tears? Is he crying? He couldn't be crying. Harry Potter doesn't cry. Everything lurches around me suddenly, and I find myself elsewhere.

I'm flying. At least I think I am. There is nothing but open air all around me, and I am not falling. There is no sense of movement, just a sense that something is moving towards me. Suddenly I see it - a figure slowly growing closer. I realize with a start that I must be moving, and quickly too, for the pursuing figure is a blur of motion and it is only gaining ground gradually. It will be a few more minutes before it catches me at this rate. Do I want it to? As it comes into perspective, I can see it is….but it can't be…..it is. Harry. How can he be here?

He reaches his hand out to me, and I try and grasp it. Although we're so close, it feels as if we are reaching across a vast chasm to take each other's hand. I can feel resistance as my fingers stretch, reaching desperately. A distant protest arises in my mind - why would I want to give up this peace, this perfect love? Wouldn't I rather stay? No, I feel myself answer with all of my being. I love Harry. I want this.

Touch.

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I'm not sure what happened when I activated the healing spell. Her wounds started to close. It was working. Part of me could feel her pain; feel the weak beating of her heart. I was desperate, and I didn't know what to do. The last thing I remember before waking up here is willing her pain to stop, trying to join myself with her and share the burden of her suffering.

Describing where I am now is difficult. An ocean of silver light rolls beneath me, and the air around me is full of whispered promises of everlasting peace and love. I am dimly aware of my body lying somewhere far removed from here. There is pain. What is happening to me?

Air rushes past me as I fly. The only thought in my head is to find her. I know she is here, I can feel it. Hermione is all around me, and yet I cannot see her. I must find her. This place can't keep her. She is mine.

She's here. I can see her, moving away from me. I won't be stopped. It doesn't take long for me to catch up with her. My hand reaches for hers, and she reaches back. So close! Let her go, I think. It isn't her time. Something is fighting me, trying to deny me. I'm not sure what it is; only that it feels…..sad. Don't take her, I plead. Let her live. It isn't right that she die. I love her. The resistance increases, and I know I will not reach her. There's only one thing left to do.

Take me. Take me instead. Only let her live.

Time slows to a crawl. I can sense a terrible awareness, an awesome consciousness contemplating my thoughts. The resistance crumbles. With a final surge, I stretch out my fingers to her.

Touch.

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Oh God, I hurt. It takes all my energy just to open my eyes, and the stabbing pain in my head when I do makes me regret it. Some of the pain in my body is going away. Someone is squatting over me, and I can see their wand making circles in the air. Whoever it is, they are wearing Order robes. It must be a healer. Something doesn't seem right about all of this.

Wait. Why aren't I dead? I remember feeling….peace. I knew I was dying. Then something happened. Harry. Harry had suddenly been with me. He had reached out his hand and then…..

"Where is Harry?" I hear myself ask. It comes out as barely a croak.

"Don't try and talk yet dear," a voice answers. "You nearly died. As it is, you'll be some time recovering from these injuries. I have done what I can to help the process along. Just lie still." Something about her voice is wrong. She's hiding something. Where is Harry?

I turn my head to the side, desperate for some sign of him. There's nothing on my left. On my right…..oh God, no. He's there, lying in a pool of blood. Three more healers are frantically working on him, wands weaving an intricate dance over his body. His eyes are closed, and for one terrible moment I think he is dead. Then I see his chest rise and fall slowly, and I start to breathe again. How did he get so hurt?

Low voices are speaking from a short distance away. I recognize them. One is Professor Dumbledore. The other is Remus Lupin.

"Have you ever seen anything like this?" That was Remus.

"No. What he has done….I wouldn't have thought possible. Somehow he has taken most of her injuries into himself. She should have died."

"Will he live?"

"I don't know. All we can do now is trust in our healers….and hope. I think Harry has a lot of reasons to live - and I have never met a spirit as bright as his. He will come back if anyone can."

This can't be happening. Harry….saved me? How? His face looks so peaceful. There is a small smile on his lips. They are putting him on a makeshift gurney - now he is level with me. It hurts to move my arm, but I do it anyway. The healer is scolding me not to move, but I don't care. I take his hand in mine.

"You're going to make it through this Harry." I smile through my tears. "No way am I going to let you save me, take all the glory, and then die like some martyr. You hear me?" I release his hand as they take him away. "Please come back to me," I whisper. "There is still so much I have to tell you….."

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Coming next: Those Three Words I Never Said