Author's Note: Chapter Eight as promised before I go on vacation. I will be back on Thursday so you won't have to wait terribly long for an update. I might do some writing on the ride down to Myrtle Beach….it all depends though. I hope you guys enjoy this. Thanks so much for all the great reviews! You guys keep me going!!!!! Now, I am off to start packing….
Chapter Eight
Standing Still
"Do you want me, like I want you?
Or am I standing still, beneath the darkened sky?
Or am I standing still, with the scenery flying by?
Or am I standing still, out of the corner of my eye?
Was that you passing me by?"
(Jewel "Standing Still")
It was Harry who made the first move. He lost all ability to think as he looked at her, into those beautiful brown eyes. He did what felt the most natural and he leaned in and kissed her, softly. To his surprise, she returned the kiss, just as enthusiastically as he did.
When it was over, they pulled away from each other, breathless. Julie looked at Harry, not knowing what to say or do. She could never remember ever being kissed like that in her life. She was about to step forward and bridge the distance between them again, when a voice called out, "Hey, Julie. I came by earlier but you were out. Now, I see with why."
It was Trey. He didn't at all seem pleased with what he'd just witnessed.
As she stood there in the hallway of her apartment building, she hadn't really heard Trey's question. She didn't even register his arrival. No, she was too preoccupied with what had just happened and with looking into Harry's green eyes.
"Hmmm?" she finally managed to choke out.
"I asked you what the hell was going on, Julie." Trey asked again, his voice impatient and angry.
"This, um, this isn't what you think it is," Julie said softly.
At the same time, Harry blurted out. "This isn't what you think it is."
"It's not?" Trey asked in disbelief.
Julie scrambled for an excuse, but she had none. She didn't know why it had happened. It had surprised her to say the least, but it hadn't felt rushed or sudden. It had felt right. For some reason, it had felt right.
"No, it's not," Julie said. "Harry took me out to see the movie, just as friends, Trey."
"Do you make a habit of making out with your friends in your hallway?" Trey asked angrily.
"This wasn't her fault," Harry said firmly. "I was the one who kissed her."
"Looked to me like she was kissing you back," Trey said, turning his attention back on Julie. "It didn't look like a friendly peck on the cheek, either."
Neither Harry nor Julie spoke, but were still somewhat in a daze over what had just happened moments before.
""Because you want to know what happened from my point of view? Earlier tonight I had to cancel our date because of a class. I felt really bad about it so when the class let out I came by here, but you were out. So, I went by Billie's thinking you'd be there, but low and behold, you weren't there, either. I took a chance that you might be back here, so I come here. I find you kissing this guy who you only met a few days ago in your hallway. That's what I saw. That's what I think happened. Now, if the two of you could fill me in on the how and the why, I'm waiting to hear it."
"I-it was my fault," Harry stammered. The comment was directed at Trey, but Harry's eyes were still fixated on Hermione. If he'd had any doubts that Julie was Hermione, they'd all been swept away with that kiss.
"Is that so?" Trey asked, his voice rising again. He stepped toward Harry, his fists clenched. Julie hurriedly stepped between them, and put her arms out to separate them.
"Would you two please stop it?" she asked pleadingly. "Please just stop it. Can we not do this here? My neighbors are probably listening."
"Now you're worried about your neighbors?" Trey asked incredulously. "You have no problem making out with this guy in your halls, but you'll draw the line at a fight in the hallway."
"Don't talk to her like that!" Harry said, rounding on Trey.
"Please, don't do this," Julie said, turning to face Harry. She looked desperately at him, pleading with him to stay in control. "I think you should go, Harry."
"Yeah, go away, Harry," Trey said, staring icily at him.
Harry didn't look at him. He didn't care about this guy. If he had his wand, he wouldn't have hesitated to turn him into a slug. It was out of his love for Hermione, that he didn't do anything.
"I don't want to leave you alone with him," Harry said, looking into her brown eyes.
"I'll be okay," she said softly. "Just go. I'll see you at work, okay? Thanks for the evening."
"Her-, Julie," he quickly covered. "I'm sorry."
"Me, too," she said. "I'll see you."
He took one last look at her before reluctantly walking away. He heard them mutter something to each other and then he heard the sound of her door being closed.
"What did I just do?" he couldn't help thinking.
"What's going on, Julie?" Trey asked when they were in her apartment, seated side by side on the couch.
"I don't know," she said.
"You can't do something like that and tell me you don't know what happened," he said. "I'm your boyfriend, right? I deserve an explanation."
"If I had one, I'd give it to you," she said truthfully. "When you called and cancelled out on me, Billie suggested I go with Harry. We went to the movie and then for coffee afterward. We were saying goodnight and it just sort of happened."
"Why?"
"I don't know," she said truthfully.
"You don't know?" he asked her, laughing. "You don't know?"
She stood up from the couch, feeling very uncomfortable. She wanted to be alone. She wanted to be alone so she could think about what had just happened. She needed to process what had happened. She couldn't do that with him there, begging her for answers that she didn't have.
"Just be honest with me, Julie. Are you happy with me?" he asked her. He didn't wait for an answer. "I mean, I can't speak for you, but I'm falling in love with you. I've told you that before, and I know it freaked you out a bit, but it's what I feel. Can't you tell me how you feel?"
She could feel his eyes on her, but she didn't dare turn around to look at him.
"Can you at least tell me that this kiss you had with him didn't mean anything? Can you tell me that it was just a one-time thing?"
"I can't tell you that," she said. "Because I honestly don't know what it meant."
"I don't accept that," he said.
She turned around, her eyes finally meeting his.
"What do you want me to say? Do you want me to be honest? Because all the things you want me to say, I can't say right now. I know you don't want to hear that, but that's the truth, okay? I don't know what I'm thinking or what I'm feeling. I know this is a clichéd response, but I just need some space. Can you give that to me?"
"If that's what you want," he said solemnly. "I'll give it to you."
"Thank you," she said, looking away from him again.
"I guess I should go," he said, turning to walk away. He stopped before he got to the door. He turned around and looked at her.
"Julie?" he called to her. She hesitated a moment before turning around.
"Yeah?" she said weakly.
"I'll give you all the time and space that you need," he said. "But, I think you should ask yourself something. Ask yourself if you're willing to give up what we have for someone that you've known for a few days?"
She had no answer for him. He gave her one last look before shutting the door behind him.
She walked over to her couch and let out a deep breath. She curled up on the couch and felt warm tears stinging her eyes. She was so confused. What had happened? Why did she feel such a connection with someone she had only known for such a short time? Something didn't make sense. She could still feel his kiss on her lips. She could still feel how light-headed it had made her. She'd never been kissed like that before.
She closed her eyes to try and block it out, but she could still see his warm green eyes staring back at her. This was crazy, she thought to herself. Trey's right. I've only known him for a few days, she rationalized. We'd just had this conversation about how tough our lives had been and it just sort of got out of hand after that. That's all it was, wasn't it? She wasn't sure. She wasn't sure of anything anymore.
Harry hadn't been able to sleep much the night before. He too had trouble getting the previous evening's events out of his head. He wanted to know what had happened after he'd left her. If that jerk laid one hand on her, he'd….well, he didn't like to think about what he'd do.
He arrived at Billie's a little before 5:00 for his shift. He hadn't done much during the day. He'd called Sirius for news and was disappointed to hear that Sirius' trip to Azkaban to visit Wormtail had proved fruitless. According to Sirius, four years in Azkaban had caused Wormtail to lose his mind. He'd spoken in what Sirius politely called gibberish and offered nothing useful to the investigation. Sirius was still working on getting identification on the body in Hermione's grave and he'd promised to look for information on Simon Maxwell.
Sirius broke the news to Harry about The Daily Prophet. He also told Harry how Kit, Maggie and Ron had shown up on his doorstep looking for answers. He'd told them the truth and asked them to keep Harry's whereabouts between the four of them. He'd also told Harry that Maggie had not taken the news well. Harry immediately felt guilty. He hadn't been very fair to Maggie. She was a great girl and given different circumstances, maybe he could have even fallen in love with her, but there was one problem. His heart belonged to, and always had belonged to Hermione Granger. Nothing would ever change that. He just had to help her remember. But how?
Even though Harry couldn't stand Trey, he could begrudgingly see that Trey genuinely cared for Julie. How could you not? How did Julie feel about Trey? Harry had no clear idea. She didn't talk much about him, so that had to be a good sign, Harry couldn't help thinking.
Harry clocked in and made his way back out front to the bar. He found Billie and the assistant chef, Ray, arguing about something.
"Ray?" Billie was saying, her eyes large, "You aren't seriously considering service hot dogs and chili at a wedding reception!"
"Why not?" Ray asked confused.
'You've got to be kidding me!" Billie exclaimed. "I'm sure every woman in the world dreams of her wedding and her wedding reception and hopes and prays that they serve hot dogs and chili. I can't believe you!"
"It was just a suggestion," Ray said sheepishly.
"A totally asinine suggestion," Billie said, laughing. "Hey, Harry."
She smiled warmly at him as he walked through the kitchen.
"What's going on?" Harry asked, amused by what he'd just heard.
"Ray is single-handedly trying to ruin the Peterson-Thomas wedding reception that we're having here on Saturday," Billie said, shooting a derisive look at her assistant chef. Ray just grumbled something before walking out. "Which reminds me, can you come in a little early to help set up for that? We're closing the restaurant for the reception."
"Sure," Harry asked.
"Great," she said. "So, how was the big night last night? I haven't heard from Miss Julie. She called in sick earlier and wasn't really giving details."
Harry had a sinking suspicion that Julie wasn't sick at all. She was avoiding him. How could he have been so stupid?
"So how did it go?" Billie asked, winking at him.
"It went," Harry said glumly.
"Oh," Billie said. "That's one thing I don't understand about you men. You have no concept of giving details. You keep things to yes and no answers and simple one to three word sentences. It used to drive me crazy about my ex-husband Frank. Not that I'm comparing you to Frank….the only thing you could compare to Frank to get a fair comparison is dog poop on your shoe."
Despite his morose mood, Harry couldn't help laughing.
"Let's not talk about Frank though," Billie said shaking her head. "I'll get depressed too and we won't have much fun. So, spill it. What happened?"
"We had a really nice time," Harry began. "We enjoyed the movie and then we went for coffee afterwards and we talked about our lives and she told me about her accident and I told her about my life back home. We made a sort of connection, you know? I walked her home and we were saying good night, and -"
"You kissed her!" Billie interjected a broad smile on her face.
"Yeah," Harry said. "I know it was too soon, but I just-she looked so pretty standing in the dim light of the hallway and I just couldn't help it."
"Well, what's so wrong about that?" Billie asked. "Did she kiss you back?"
"Yeah," Harry said. "And then Trey showed up."
"Uh-oh," Billie said. "Perfect timing he has."
"Yeah," Harry said. "He wasn't too happy, mind you, to find his girlfriend and another man kissing on her doorstep. Anyway, it was this really weird, awkward situation and she asked me to leave so she could talk to him."
"Oh, Lord," Billie said.
"Yeah," Harry concurred. "I think I may have blown it."
"Don't say that," Billie said. "I think you've still got a great chance. Don't you give up hope, Harry. Besides, you've got something that Trey doesn't have."
"What's that?" Harry asked her confused.
"Me on your side," Billie said. "And I don't want to brag but I am a good person to have as an ally."
"Thanks," Harry said, smiling. "I think I'm going to need all the help I can get."
"Well, we better get ready for the dinner crowd," Billie said, noticing that the bar was starting to become crowded. "Think positive, Harry."
_______________________________________________________________
Julie was sitting on her couch in her apartment, wearing an old t-shirt and a pair of pajama pants. She wore no make up and she's pulled her hair back into a sloppy ponytail. She was in what could only be called a veg-out, hiding out state of mind.
She was trying to catch up on some of her reading for her Early Childhood Development Skills class when she heard a knock on the door. She looked at her watch. It was just before midnight. Who would be calling on her now?
She walked over to the door and looked through the peephole. She sighed. Harry.
"Just a moment," she said. She quickly went to the mirror to see if she looked presentable. Her skin was pale and she looked tired. She straightened up her a little bit and pinched her cheeks to make them look a little rosier.
She then ran back to the door and hesitated only a moment before opening it up.
"Hi," she said, staring at him. He looked great as always. He was wearing the white button-down shirt and black pants that he'd obviously worn to work. The shirt was now tucked out and a little wrinkled. Her heart fluttered a bit as she looked at him.
"Hi," he said, smiling nervously at her. "I wanted to make sure you were okay. Billie said you called in sick."
"I'm feeling better," she said.
"I didn't wake you?"
"No, I was just doing some reading," she said. "Would you like to come in?"
"Yeah," he said. "If it's okay."
She nodded and stood back allowing him to come inside. She ushered for him to have a seat on her couch and he did.
"You have a really nice place," he said. "It's a lot bigger than my room."
"You got a place on Columbia Street?" she asked him. "At the boarding house, right?"
"Yeah," he said. "It's not much, but it'll do for now."
"Yeah," she said, taking a seat in the chair across from him.
"I'm sorry if what happened last night made you uncomfortable," he said.
"I should be apologizing," she said.
"Why? I was the one who kissed you," he said.
"Well, I kissed you back," she said.
"Yeah," he said, looking into her eyes.
They didn't say anything for awhile. They just looked at each other. Harry was the one who broke the silence.
"I don't want to be a complication in your life, Julie," he said quickly. "Last night was the best night I've had in a long time. I shouldn't have done that last night. I'm not really sorry that I did it, but I shouldn't have been so forward."
"It's okay," she said, shyly. "I didn't mind."
Harry looked up surprised.
"Things are so complicated right now," she said looking away from him. "It's not your fault, Harry.
Trey and I had some problems before you came into my life. I'm not sure if I really know where he fits in my life.
He cares about me a great deal and I don't want to hurt him."
"I understand," he said.
"So, would it be alright if we went back to just being friends for now?" she asked suddenly.
"Pretend like the kiss never happened?" he asked her.
"Yeah," she said. "Just start over from scratch."
"If that's what you want, I'll do it," he said. "Consider it forgotten."
"Good," she said weakly.
"Good," he said. "Well, I'll, um, let you get back to your reading."
"Okay," she said. "Thanks for coming by and checking on me."
"You're welcome," he said. "See you tomorrow night at work?"
"Of course," she said, smiling at him. She got up from the chair and led him out of the apartment.
At the doorstep, he turned around to look at her.
"Good night," he said.
"Good night," she said. She wanted to stop him, but something held her back.
She closed the door behind him and again felt tears come to her eyes. She had just lied to him. She didn't think it would be possible to forget that kiss. She wasn't even sure if she wanted to forget it.