Chapter 19 - Day and a Half Later
It was very late in the day the next day when Harry woke up. He sleepily glanced at the picture of Hermione on his desk and sat up. It was snowing softly outside, covering the grounds with white everywhere. There was a tapping noise on his window, which automatically told him that it was Hedwig.
"Open Harry!" she said, though her voice was muffled behind the glass. Harry put on his glasses and sprang out of bed to the window; he felt the piercing cold for a moment to let Hedwig in and slammed the window shut allowing some of the snow to sprinkle on the floor. "Thank you…" She flew on top of Harry's desk and shook, making a little more flecks of snow go on his desk.
"What were you doing out there anyway?" yawned Harry, his sudden adrenaline rush to get Hedwig inside suddenly gone. He sat down on his bed and looked at her. "It's freezing!"
"Just thought I'd fly a little," said Hedwig matter-of-factly. "You know - to kill time…"
Harry smiled. He felt so happy to be rested that he didn't notice Hedwig's feeble way of being peculiar. "You're one weird owl, Hedwig. Don't you hibernate like the rest of the species?"
"You were asleep for a long time Harry," said Hedwig, ignoring him. "It's very relevant, considering that you weren't hurt in any way." Harry grinned knowingly; the only times he had ever slept for long periods were when he had been seriously injured. "I see you gave Hermione the books…"
Harry's face fell slightly. "Yeah I did…" He chuckled pathetically to himself. "Not even a thank you…"
"Ah, but you are wrong Mr. Potter!" said Hedwig dignitly. "Hermione was in here…"
"When…? Where - ? How - ?"
"When you were sleeping," said Hedwig, smiling at Harry. She told him how she had awoken and inconspicuously watched Hermione enter the room.
"She's not mad then…?" asked Harry softly.
"Of course not Harry," assured Hedwig. "She sort of talked to you in your sleep. Said something about being sorry and wanting to thank you for the gift you gave her. She seemed very keen to talk to you, you know. She just didn't want to wake you up and I praise her for that. She knew that you were going through a lot, more than she knew anyway…"
Harry smiled again. How did such an outrageous owl like her end up with him?
"So I guess," said Harry tentatively, reading the look on Hedwig's face, "that I'm going to have to go talk to her then?"
"Finally!" said Hedwig jovially. "Now you're starting to make sense! Hermione's in her room, you know, just thought you'd want to know… "
***
After getting dressed, Harry walked nervously toward Hermione's room, running through what he was going to say to her in his head carefully since he wanted to make sure that this was going to go on smoothly and painlessly as possible. He stopped in front of Hermione's door, took a deep breath and knocked. He could hear some sort of clambering behind the door and after a few seconds, the door sprang open and there was Hermione, dressed casually and looking as pretty as ever.
"Hi," said Harry awkwardly. It was like talking to a complete stranger all of a sudden. He could feel heat rise to his face. Hermione gave him a hopeful and shy no-toothed smile.
"You're talking to me again," she said, more in a hopeful way than a statement.
"Can I… come in? That is only if you're not busy" added Harry, looking apprehensive.
"No, come in," said Hermione. Her voice was calm and careful, like she was watching what she was saying. Harry stared around her room. It very much fitted her personality; there were rows of books everywhere and everything was neat and organized, just how he remembered it when he was in there to, at the time, to leave the books discreetly for her.
"Hermione -"
But at that moment he had turned around to talked to her, she flung herself forward and threw her arms around his neck, shaking slightly. Harry stumbled backward a bit, taken aback by her sudden action. "What - ?"
"I'm so sorry Harry!" said Hermione into his upper shoulder. She wasn't crying but her words sounded like she was on the verge of tears.
"Oh Hermione," said Harry comfortingly, rubbing his hand up and down her back.
"It's all my fault!" she said hysterically, her voice sort of muffled by his shoulder. "I was being really stupid and I shouldn't have reacted that way! I should have been more understanding and more aware of your feelings! I didn't mean to yell at you like that when you came into my room. I just wasn't thinking clearly, it must have been so early in the morning and…"
"Hermione!" said Harry, almost laughing. She had said that all very fast in a whimpering sort of way, something that Harry found very cute.
"Harry I'm so s -"
"Forget it," said Harry.
"No really, I shouldn't have acted -"
"I said forget it," said Harry in a final sort of way. Hermione looked up at him, her eyes shiny with tears, and smiled at him. She let go of him, sat on her bed and hugged her knees to her chest.
"Thanks for the books Harry," said Hermione, her voice still soft and shaky from tears.
Harry grinned sheepishly at her. "I knew you'd like them…"
"They're wonderful!" said Hermione, her voice gradually getting in high spirits. "It's like Hogwarts: A History but much better! There are some old things in there, and there are new things in there too! I even think it mentions us somewhere in there!"
Harry's grin got a little bigger, still showing no teeth. "I'm glad you like them…"
"I love them!" exclaimed Hermione. "But -"
Harry, still smiling at Hermione with his no toothed smile, raised his eyebrows amusingly very slightly. He knew what she was going to ask.
"Those books are not to be released until much later! Where on earth did you get them?"
Harry finally smiled fully at Hermione, hoping that he didn't too stupid. "That's my little secret."
Hermione frowned. "I hope you didn't do anything illegal to get them!"
"Of course not!" said Harry astonished. "Let's just say that I got very lucky in meeting new people." He sat himself on Hermione's bed, right next to her.
"Those books are wonderful Harry," Hermione smiled back at him, believing what he had said about the books. "How can I ever thank you enough?"
"You already have Hermione… Trust me, you have," added Harry, seeing Hermione look very unsure. "You and I being back on good terms again is more than enough to thank me."
"I hope you can forgive me?"
"Already have."
There was a pause in which Hermione got off the bed and grabbed Hogwart's: A Revised History Vol II off her desk and joined Harry back on the bed. She flipped through a few pages and stopped when she had apparently saw something of great interest and began to read, her eyes darting across the page.
"You've read the first one already!?" said Harry incredulously.
"Just last night," said Hermione indifferently. "I couldn't put it down…"
"Apparently not…"
"You were asleep for a long time Harry," said Hermione out of nowhere, stopping her reading to look at him with concern. "About a day and a half. Are you feeling ok?"
"Fine," assured Harry. "I was just very tired that's all."
"How are you feeling now?" asked Hermione, still apprehensive.
"Rested," said Harry truthfully. "Looks like I'm going to be ok."
There was a another pause in which Hermione stared at him, as if she was some amazing doctor that could tell how a person was feeling by simply looking at them. She sighed satisfactorily and put her attention back to Hogwart's: A Revised History Vol II. Suddenly there was a knock on the door.
"Come in," said Hermione, not looking up from her book.
"Oh there he is!" said Ron coming into the room hand-in-hand with Rachel, dragging her. He looked at Harry. "I thought you were still in bed. Are you sick or something?"
"He's not," said Hermione, before Harry could answer, looking up from her book.
"Are those the books that Harry gave you?" asked Rachel, looking at the extraordinary spine on the book, as if it were bewitched to grow.
"Yes!" said Hermione, her face glowing. "They're wonderful aren't they?"
"I'm sure they are," said Ron sarcastically. Hermione glared at him and returned to her book. "Anyways Harry," he said, ignoring Hermione and still holding Rachel's hand, "you all right?"
"Yeah, I'm fine." said Harry, yawning and scratching the back of his head. "So what have I missed since I've been out? Anything important?"
"Just one thing," answered Ron.
"What?"
"Well, you remember that thing where Dumbledore randomly selects whether a Ball will be formal attire and if partners are required?" asked Rachel.
"There's another Ball coming up?" said Harry, half exasperated.
"A Valentines Day Ball," explained Rachel, standing on tiptoe and kissing Ron.
Harry turned away awkwardly and stole a glance over at Hermione, her nose still buried into some page of Hogwart's: A Revised History Vol II. She looked very indifferent at the matter. Ron and Rachel turned both their attention back to Harry.
"So what's the requirements of it?" he asked.
"Semi-casual and partners are optional," said Rachel, now clutching onto Ron's arm.
Harry found himself frowning, as though he were in deep concentration about something. "It's sort of funny isn't it? How this one where its supposed to be a Valentines Day Ball only to find that a Valentine isn't needed to attend."
"Got any idea on who're going to ask Harry?"
Oh Harry knew exactly who he wanted to ask, but there was something deep down in his gut that didn't feel right. Something deep down that told him something strange. Something that told him that…
"If you really want to know, Ernie asked me, all right!" said Hermione exasperatedly, not taking her eyes of the book. Ron looked taken aback by her answer.
"I was just asking," he said. "No need to blow up at me!"
"You know Ronald," said Rachel with patience in her voice. "You can be a bit irritating at times, especially when you ask something…"
"Thank you Rachel," said Hermione coolly.
Apparently Ron had asked Hermione who she was going to the ball with. He opened and closed his mouth a few times as if he wanted to say something, but decided best not to. He looked very uncomfortable and looked to change the subject.
"Who do you want to ask Harry?" asked Rachel, looking at him interestingly.
It was Harry's turn to look uncomfortable.
"You don't have to tell us Harry," came Hermione's voice, very calm and very supporting. The book lay closed on her lap now and she gave him all of her attention. "Why don't you surprise us?"
He looked at her thankfully and appraisingly. "Ok I will…"
***
Harry was pacing back and forth in his Head Boy room while Hedwig watched him on top of his desk. His hands were behind his back and he was staring at the ground with a glum look. Hedwig couldn't take it any longer.
"What troubles you Harry?"
He went on to explain about the Ball conversation he, Ron, Hermione, and Rachel had in Hermione's room.
"What is it about that that makes you sad?" said Hedwig, looking at him with concern. "This is your chance."
"There is no chance," said Harry, finally sitting on his bed, resting his elbows on his knees, and putting his head in his hands. "Once again Ernie has beat me to it…"
"Oh I'm so sorry Harry…"
"Don't be," said Harry still staring down at the floor. "It's not your fault."
"That's not the only thing that's bothering you is it?" said Hedwig, as if looking right through him. "There's something else…"
Harry stood up and walked apathetically over to his desk where Hedwig was standing and sat in his chair, crossing his arms and resting them on the desk, looking deep into the amber eyes of Hedwig.
"I've been thinking about the status between Hermione and me," said Harry tentatively.
"What's to think about?" said Hedwig, her eyes going wide with surprise. "You two are best of friends and nothing is going to change that not even…"
"Not even if I'm in love with Hermione?"
Hedwig gazed back at Harry, unsure of where this conversation was going. She frowned at him.
"Will our friendship change, should Hermione know that I am in love with her?" said Harry, his face not showing a sign of happiness.
"Of course it will! It'll be excellent because she'll love you back and -!"
"I'm talking about her not liking the idea of me being in love with her."
"But Harry -"
"No, listen Hedwig," said Harry, his voice strong and stable. "Doesn't it seem odd that these past few years that I have liked Hermione, she has not shown a sign of returned love interest to me? Doesn't it seem strange that I get no response from her whatsoever, from the compliments I give her, the dates I've taken her on, the gifts I've given her, the hints of love I've been gshowing her?"
Hedwig still looked at Harry, looking very concerned and keen to hear more of what Harry had to say because she knew he wasn't done yet.
"These past two years have been really hard on me, trying so hard to get a girl to notice you and getting no response. It's almost as if… she doesn't want to see my hints of love…"
Harry tore his gaze from Hedwig; he could feel his eyes getting moist.
"Why didn't I see it sooner? Why didn't I get it the first few times Hermione didn't say anything to me? I've only been hurting myself the whole time…"
Hedwig ruffled her feathers uncomfortablely. "What are you saying Harry?"
"Certainly Hermione noticed every single thing that I did!" said Harry, looking hopeful. "Nobody can be that thick can they?"
"I don't think -"
"I don't think that my effort to make Hermione notice that I like her as more than a friend is working," said Harry sadly, looking at the smooth surface of his desk now.
"What are you saying Harry?"
He didn't say anything. He just wet his lips and drooped his head more, till his chin almost touched his chest.
"What are you saying Harry?" repeated Hedwig, thought she knew what he was going to say…