Chapter 24 - Another Meeting
Where am I?, thought Harry as the blackness that engulfed his vision slowly blurred into focus.
Harry found himself in his room dressed in green dress robes, standing and staring at himself through a mirror with Hedwig on his shoulder.
"You're shaking," she apprehensively, on top of his shoulder. "I can see you shivering from the desk and I can definitely feel you shaking too. What are you so nervous about?"
Why am I shaking anyway?, thought Harry. A strange feeling coursed thorough his body; he could feel every bit of himself shaking with fear, and yes he did feel… fearful. Though at the same time he felt as normal and calm as he would feel in a slumber. I don't feel nervous about anything!
"I really don't feel like going anymore," Harry heard come out of his mouth. "I don't want spare the embarrassment…"
What's going on?, thought Harry. I didn't say those words! I heard them! Those words were directed to Hedwig and I saw my mouth move in the mirror! But I didn't say anything!
"You didn't go to the last one Harry," said Hedwig patiently. He could feel her claws digging into his shoulders slightly to balance herself on his shaking shoulder, but noticed that nothing was perched on his shoulder in the first place. "Just go and have a good time."
Last what?, thought Harry irritably. I didn't go to the last, WHAT!?
Then suddenly it hit him.
What was happening right now wasn't in real time. He wasn't standing there in front of his mirror (though he could definitely make out the scar on his head) with Hedwig on his shoulder. None of this was happening right now because he was under the effects of the potion he had made. Everything he saw and heard right now, happened a bare few hours ago. He was seeing his memory and not only that, he could feel exactly how he was feeling at that moment in time, particularly nervous in this case because of the Valentines Day Ball.
I didn't think the potion made you feel emotions too, but hey the potion worked!, thought Harry excitedly. I actually brewed the potion correctly!
"How can I have a good time?" Harry heard himself say hysterically. "I look terrible, Hermione doesn't know I love her, and I don't even have a date!"
"You look handsome," complimented Hedwig, "and you aren't the only one going without a date. I'm sure of it."
Harry grinned at how stupid he looked through the mirror looking helpless and pathetic.
I was like that a few hours ago?, he though incredulously.
It felt like something he would experience in a Pensieve, only this time, it was as though he was an invisible little man peering through the eyes of another and feeling exactly how he felt, along with whatever the person he was looking through the eyes of felt too.
Harry found himself walking nervously down to the Great Hall entrance…
Meeting with Ron, Rachel, Hermione, and Ernie…
Sitting in the Great Hall at their table…
Listening to the music play…
Images of he and Hermione running through his head…
Looking round the Hall and noticing that everyone was dancing but him…
Sneaking out of the Great Hall…
Up in his room…
Brewing a potion…
Taking a sip of a liquid in a goblet…
Suddenly everything blurred and became marvelously white and clear as if he was looking at a wall in a room completely painted in white, then a blurred image of a marvelously white owl on his lap. He was waking up…
"Harry!" shrieked Hedwig, now hitting him in the face with her wings frantically. She looked on the verge of tears. "Harry wake up!"
"Hedwig…" yawned Harry, stirring in his seat and sitting up slightly from his crouch. His head was spinning; it felt like someone had just hit him hard on the head.
"Oh!" sobbed Hedwig, burying her face in his chest, and giving him (if owls could do such a thing) a hug. "Harry… you idiot…!"
"What?" said Harry uncertainly, pushing up his glasses on the bridge of his nose and putting a hand on Hedwig's feathered back. He was looking down at her wide eyed in worry.
"I thought…" sobbed Hedwig in Harry's chest, breaking down, "I thought… you had…"
"Oh, Hedwig!" said Harry consolingly, putting a little more pressure on Hedwig's back with his hand, trying to hug her. "I'm all right… I'm fine Hedwig… it works…"
"Oh Harry, what do you think of me now… so silly… crying over nothing…" muttered Hedwig.
"It's ok Hedwig," comforted Harry, looking at her.
Hedwig seemed to come out of her reverie as Harry's words clicked into place. "It - what does…? What works…?" she sniffed, looking up at him now.
Harry smiled. No girl in their right mind would think that an owl crying didn't look so cute…
"The potion," hinted Harry. "It works…"
"It… it does?" said Hedwig. She was still trembling slightly.
"Yes!" said Harry, almost in a jubilant way. The spinning in his head was subsiding. "I saw everything! From when I was getting ready for the Ball to when I chugged down the potion - I saw it all. You know," he added to Hedwig, frowning slightly as in deep in thought, "it made me feel everything to…"
"Feel everything…?"
"Every emotion I felt at that time I felt again," explained Harry. "But it's complicated. I felt the emotion I went through at the time, but I felt calm and relaxed, like how you'd feel if you were sleeping, at the same time."
"Strange…"
Harry rubbed his chin.
"Yes it is… and you know how I kind of blacked out?"
"What about it?" sniffled Hedwig, clearly not wanting to remember at all.
"The potion wasn't supposed make me drowsy or put me to sleep either," said Harry darkly. "Or was it? But anyway I…"
Unexpectedly, there was a knocking at his door; Harry had forgotten that he was safe and sound (no doubt in REAL time) in his room.
"Who could that be?" inquired Hedwig, her eyes still watery and flying weakly to the top of the wardrobe.
Harry shrugged, staring at his door. "Come in."
The door opened with a tiny squeak and Harry saw for a flashing moment a glimpse at the material of a dark black dress robe, followed by another fabric of dark reddish maroon. It was…
"Dan!" smiled Harry, looking at him as if he had not seen a friend in years. "How are you!?"
"I'm great Harry!" beamed Dan. "I'm great!"
But Dan wasn't alone; he walked inside, hand - in - hand, with a girl that had brownish - blond hair that Harry had caught glimpses of in corridors, but never really met or gotten a good look at; she was very pretty. She looked particularly nervous when she stepped in with him. They both were dressed in elegant dress robes; perfect for a Valentines Day Ball.
"Valentines Ball over?" asked Harry, trying to make conversation.
"Not yet," said Dan thoughtfully, who probably couldn't tell that he still had a goofy grin on his face. He and the girl stood before Harry's desk and the girl couldn't help but glance curiously at the small cauldron on his desk with the goblet. "There was a session where Wizandwitch kept playing songs and nobody sat down. I don't even think the sessions done yet…"
"So what brings you here?" asked Harry, hearing faint music coming from the Great Hall, which made his stomach churn. "I'm sure my room isn't the most romantic spot to be saying good-night."
"Oh…! Harry -," began Dan, as if he had made a mistake and was now back tracking on it, "this is Emma. Emma," He motioned his hand toward her slightly, his face shinning. "Emma, this is Harry. Harry Potter." He motioned back toward him.
"Nice to meet you, Emma," smiled Harry, standing up behind his desk and shook her hand.
"Nice to meet you too Mr. Potter," smiled Emma timidly, looking very nervous on the matter, like she had just shaken hands with the Prime Minister.
"Call me Harry," said Harry, sitting back down and grinning as the memory of Dan saying the same thing racked his brain. "So, what brings you two here? Shouldn't you be having fun at the Ball?"
"Nothing actually," said Dan shortly. "I just came to… well - thank you…"
"Thank me?" asked Harry incredulously, his brain racking when he possibly helped Dan for something in the past. "What for?"
There was a pause in which Harry saw Dan open his mouth as if ready to say something, but was thrown off when he heard Emma's voice instead.
"If it hadn't been for you Mr. Pott - I mean - Harry," she smiled desperately, "and your advice you gave him, then Daniel wouldn't have come up with the courage to come to me and tell me how he felt about me."
Harry blinked. "Me?" he said darkly. "I assure you that I have nothing to do with Dan talking to you, but still… Emma, when did Dan talk to you -?"
"One day after I came in to talk to you," interrupted Dan. "You remember don't you? When I asked you for advice?" He still had that particular grin on his face and couldn't stop smiling. Emma adjusted herself to stand closer to Dan and beamed at him.
"Course I do," said Harry politely.
"I was so afraid," continued Dan, "so afraid of rejection. Emma looked so taken aback and shocked when I told her how I felt."
"I was so scared though Harry," cued Emma. "I never once did think Daniel as more than a friend to me. I panicked, knowing these startling feelings he had for me and I had to take some time off and let whatever was said that night to sink in."
"Was it emotional?" asked Harry softly, looking between the pair.
"You wouldn't imagine," said Dan , raising his eyebrows, and looking partly disgusted with himself. "I felt like one of those guys in those pathetic Muggle movies."
"I ignored him for days," said Emma quietly, in a way that said she regretted it.
"I thought I had lost a friend -" sighed Dan pathetically.
"Then what?" asked Harry, completely transfixed at the story.
"I approached Dan one day after thinking," said Emma emotionally. "And I told him that…"
Her voice trailed of dreamily like smoke dissipating in the air. Harry could have sworn he saw Dan blush.
"The weeks when I was avoiding him," added Emma thoughtfully, "I thought about how much it was a bad idea and how a thing like that between us would never happen. I woke up one morning and the entire day, all I could think about was how much I hated avoiding him and how much I missed him. I remembered the fun Dan and I had from when we were little, how close our relationship toward each other grew over the years, and how… how it'd feel so good if I ever kissed him…"
Harry's mouth twitched. "That thought caught you off guard didn't it?"
Emma nodded.
"I tried to tell Dan one day but he didn't want to talk to me," she said sadly.
"I was mad at you!" explained Dan to Emma.
"I knew you were!" said Emma, turning to him, and looking frightened. "And after countless tries, I finally got him to talk to me," she said turning back at Harry.
"It was pretty emotional," cut in Dan thoughtfully.
"I explained to him that I was feeling a bit uncomfortable given the state of things and that I couldn't fall in love with him," said Emma slowly.
"And?" said Harry, not sure where this was going.
"But I told him that there was… there was a problem," continued Emma nervously. "I told him… I told him that… I couldn't fall in love with him… because, well… I was… I was already in love with him. I was already in love with him from the start…" she admitted, turning rather red. "I was in love with my best friend when I didn't recognize it myself…"
"And the rest is history," concluded Dan, a smile still plastered on his face. Emma snuggled closer to his arm.
"Well congratulations to you both," said Harry, perhaps a little more unenthusiastically than he meant to. Thankfully, Dan and Emma didn't notice.
Harry thought about what had happened between the pair of them. Dan, simply because he had taken advice from Harry, went up to Emma and poured out his feelings to her only to find, in an unorthodox way, that she loved him too. Harry wondered what would happen if he went up to Hermione and just flat out told her that he loved her. Would she, like Emma did for Dan, secretly love him back too?
Harry hopes dipped; he had remembered all the hints of love he had given Hermione and also her very unresponsive ways.
"I'm sorry about Hermione Granger, Harry," said Dan consolingly out of nowhere, making Harry come out of his reverie.
"Huh -?"
"Yes I saw," added Emma, though her voice was maddening. "I saw that bloke accompanying her to the Ball."
"Oh… that," said Harry, avoiding eyes.
"What's going on between you and Hermione Granger anyway?" asked Dan curiously. "I thought you liked her…"
"I do," assured Harry.
He went on to explain how he was sleeping almost unconsciously in his bed due to a lot of sleepless nights and how he had just found out about the Valentines Day Ball and how it was too late because Ernie had already asked her.
"Oh, you poor thing!" said Emma consolingly.
"Don't…" said Harry closing his eyes and putting up a hand, not wanting to hear any more of those pitying words.
"Why don't you just tell her you like her already!" said Dan impatiently.
"I give up already," said Harry, more to himself than anything.
"What do you mean you give up!?" said Dan, a little bolder than intended. "How can you give up on someone that you love?"
"You don't understand the whole story," said Harry unperturbed. "It's a very long story."
"Well, we aren't in a rush to be anywhere, do we Emma?" said Dan to her.
"No we don't," said Emma in a final way, she too eager to hear this long story.
Harry gave a heaving sigh and told them what had started about two years, when he first started to love Hermione. How he was too afraid to tell Hermione about the way he felt and instead decided to give her hints of love to show that he loved her. How he thought Hermione, being the clever witch that she was, would be able to figure out that Harry loved her, yet how Hermione was very unresponsive in the matter. He explained everything he had ever did to show Hermione that he loved her, from the books, to the gifts, to the dates, to the kindness of words, and maybe a little flirtatious slurs here and there. He particularly left out the part where he bartered his Firebolt so that he could get Hermione a dress.
"Oh, you poor thing!" said Emma again after Harry felt he had said everything he needed to say to make them understand.
"Emma please," begged Harry in a distressing voice. "Don't pity me like that."
"Well that's kind of dumb," said Dan matter-of-factly.
Harry glowered at him. "Why is it dumb!?"
"Well all the time you used to just hint to Hermione Granger that you loved her is now lost," said Dan simply. "Couldn't you just use that very same energy to just talk to her for just a few moments?"
Harry felt very sheepish and stupid at Dan's words. He was right; what if he just channeled all that energy he used to hint to Hermione instead to just walking up to her and telling her he loved her…
"Love makes me do stupid things," stated Harry, looking down at the desk top.
"So why don't you just tell her that you like her already!" said Dan, his voice not angry, but now in a patient sort of way. "She's too dumb to notice the little subtle things and all of your hints, so why don't you make it more clear to her than ever, by just telling her you love her?"
"I can't!" said Harry pitifully. "I too afrai -"
His words were stuck in his throat. He was about to say that he was afraid, but if he did, what would that look like to Dan and Emma.
"Look Emma," said Dan to her. "Harry's afraid."
"I'm not afraid!" said Harry defensively, though he knew he was lying. Dan sighed.
"There Harry," he said in a patient voice as if he had just proven a point. "You said it yourself - you're not afraid - so then now go tell Hermione Granger that you like her…"
"Daniel did it!" said Emma, as if that it settled the matter. "If he did it, I'm sure you can too!"
Dan nodded feverishly by her side.
"He got the strength to go for it, even though he was risking something," advised Emma, "through encouraging words he got through you, Harry!"
He looked back and forth between Dan and Emma, his heart full of admiration for the couple. Even though they were mere fourth years, their heart and spirit were of those of very mature young adults.
"I thought I was supposed to give fellow students advice," said Harry almost in a chuckle.
"And now the fellow students are giving words of advice to our Head Boy," said Emma consolingly.
There was a long pause in which Emma broke by saying, "Dan and I are not demanding that you go tell Hermione Granger that you love her, we just think that you should already."
"I understand…" said Harry staring blankly at a spot at the bottom right of his desk.
"Just think about it?" Emma suggested. "Please? I'm sure Hermione Granger is a great person!"
"You remind me of Hermione," said Harry thoughtfully to Emma. "you two are so much alike…"
"Then if they're so much alike, and you see how happy I am now that I'm with Emma," said Dan, "then just imagine how happy you'll be when you're with Hermione Granger."
"I still don't know if I want to tell her," suggested Harry skeptically. "I mean, if she hasn't been responsive like how I expected her to be, then maybe there's a reason…"
"What do you mean?" asked Emma.
"I mean that maybe she does know the hints of love I gave her, maybe she does know that I like her, maybe she has figured it out," said Harry.
"What are you saying then?" inquired Dan.
"That…" started Harry miserably, "That… she hasn't been responsive because… well… maybe because she doesn't feel the same way as I do…"
"You don't know that for sure!" exclaimed Emma quickly.
"But it seems logical," said Harry carefully. He swallowed a handful of tears; there was no way he was going to cry.
"It might seem that way," said Emma comfortingly. "But there isn't any proof of it…"
"God, I miss her so much!" Harry added dreadfully, slamming his forehead and two fists down on the table. He could feel water building up in his eyes and his speech was muffled. "I can't take it sometimes! I've been sulking so much lately, that I've almost forgotten… almost forgotten how happy I felt whenever I made her happy! Just making Hermione happy was rewarding in itself! I miss those days… I miss them…"
There was a long pause in which Harry either was eye to eye with the surface of his desk or the back of his eyelids. After a few silencing moments, Dan spoke.
"Is that why you made this potion Harry?" asked Dan softly and tentatively. "To remember all those times you had with Hermione Granger and making her happy?"
Harry's brain clicked and he felt his sobs subsiding temporarily.
"Yes…" said Harry, still with his forehead on the table, not looking at him.
"I've done this potion before," said Dan distantly, looking at the contents inside the goblet Harry had poured the potion into. "You got it out of my book, Secrets of Potions: Made Easy didn't you?"
"Yes…" sniffled Harry, now looking up at him, first wiping his eyes and face with his hand.
"Did you… sort of faint after you took it?" asked Dan tentatively.
Harry's eyes suddenly widened excitedly. Feeling that he was going to find out the mystery to him fainting, he nodded. "What does it mean?"
"Did you notice or think it was strange that the Memory Potion was located in the section of love potions?"
Harry grabbed for Secrets of Potions: Made Easy on his desk and quickly turned to the page where the memory potion was located. Just like Dan said, sure enough, it was located in the section of love potions, the last potion to be mentioned before another section of potions started.
"Never noticed it," said Harry faintly, more to himself than anything. He looked to Dan for answers. "But what's the significance of it anyway?"
"Nothing," replied Dan, almost a little too quickly. Emma shifted next to him. "I just wondered if you noticed that's all…"
"There's something going on!" exclaimed Harry, closing Secrets of Potions: Made Easy. "You said you've done it before!
"I have done it before," assured Dan. He glanced over to Emma and both of them stared at each other for a second, as if having a silent conversation and coming to a mutual understanding about what was going on. Emma, nodded ever so slightly and made a motion as if she were clearing her throat casually.
"And did you faint too?" Harry asked Dan, feeling left out and his blood pumping in his veins.
"I did faint," replied Dan, staring to become aware at how big, older, and possibly much stronger Harry was than he.
"So what does it mean!?" bellowed Harry, standing up and throwing his arms up in the air impatiently. "The potion is located in a section strictly made of love potions! You said you've done it before, and you said that you fainted too! What does it all mean!?"
Emma finally spoke, taking a step toward the desk and putting a hand on Harry's shoulder.
"Harry, please," she said consolingly, her voice passive and calm. "Just please, calm down."
"I am calm!" retorted Harry. "I've never been more calm in my life!"
"Please try to talk to Hermione Granger and tell her that you love her," she suggested, as if Harry had not shouted at her. "Daniel and I are not telling you to talk to her, we're just asking you to."
"You still didn't answer my question!" roared Harry. "What the heck is going on with that potion!?" It felt quite eccentric to be yelling at two third years, whom Harry hardly knew, and whom seemed to be more knowledgeable than he did.
"We would tell you Harry," said Emma calmly. "But now wouldn't be the right time to. Things need to - er - fall into place…"
"Fall into place?" said Harry frowning and becoming more confused than ever. "I suppose you aren't going to tell me what that means either!?"
"Just talk to Hermione Granger, Harry," said Dan, ignoring Harry, his voice calm and patient much like Emma's, however there was a tinge of uneasiness in there too. "Go up to her and tell her you love her…"
Harry wasn't going to waste another breath on the both of them. He was breathing hard, his chest heaving and his anger boiling up in his gut. It was useless; they were not going to tell him anything.
"Thanks Harry," said Dan finally. "Thanks for the advice. Because of you, I'm really happy now."
"Yes Harry," agreed Emma soothingly, clinging to Dan. "And if you take our advice and go and talk to our Head Girl, you might be as happy too…"
Dan and Emma made way for the door and left without another word, leaving Harry still standing at his desk, still raging, fuming, and confused.