Chapter 21 - Harry's Date
The next couple of weeks leading up to February seemed slow and somewhat unhappy. Harry had to endure watching Ernie "flaunt" his way around school, apparently proud that he was taking Hermione to the Valentines Day Ball. Ernie didn't say anything specific, but they way he strutted along halls and held his head up high made Harry sick and want to puke.
Harry went through the next few weeks trying his best not to look to disappointed with the fact that he wasn't going to attend the Ball with Hermione, let alone hide the fact that he had a crush on her. Hedwig seemed furious with him about his decision. She would answer him with one liners and she was a little curt sometimes, but not entirely friendly.
Between walking through classes, several students looked his way, with the expression that Harry had now grown to hate: pity. He hated people look at him like he was vulnerable and helpless, it made him look small and weak. Not that it wasn't exactly the way he was feeling, but the thought that everyone in school had thought he felt that way was another thing that made Harry furious.
In classes, Harry sat between Ron and Hermione, and every so often, Harry fought the urge to compliment something about Hermione. He fought the urge to be extra nice to her. He fought the urge to show that he loved her. He fought the urges to keep looking at her. All he could do was act as the friend he always was…
For some reason, when an event in the future that is not really looked forward to, and that you feel it should never come, time seems to move a lot quicker toward that event. Harry knew the feeling; he had felt it during the times in fourth year when he had to prepare for one of the three tasks. Before he knew it, January was gone and February was here.
The school made it an effort to make Harry feel a lot better about the upcoming Valentines Ball. There were decorations of pink, red, and white all over the school, every single teacher had a parchment (or maybe even four) posted somewhere in their classroom, counting down and reminding students how many days were left until the Ball, and there were cherubs floating above the corridors of the school, sprinkling the students with Valentine colored confetti when ever they got the chance. Harry had never felt so disgusted with February in his life.
He had grown to like Valentines Day the previous two years; he remembered vividly the bouquet of flowers with an enchanted rose he gave Hermione two years ago and the larger than life rose he gave her just last year. By now, Harry had run out of ideas. After all, he had given up on showing her how much he loved her, so if he was going to give her something, it would have to be small.
As the Valentines Day Ball got closer and closer (as reminded by those wonderful parchments now posted in the corridors) the anticipation and talk grew with it.
"Who are you going with Harry?" asked Ron interestingly, when he, Harry, and Rachel were sitting as a group in the Great Hall during lunch. Harry saw Rachel give him another look of pity. Ron didn't notice.
"I'm working on it," lied Harry. He had already decided; if he wasn't going with Hermione, he wasn't going with anybody else. He didn't seem to be paying any particular attention to anything but he found the food on his plate to be interesting.
"Are you still going even if you don't find a date?" added Rachel tentatively. She was looking at Harry anxiously and he read her face.
"Yes, I'm still going," said Harry, a knowing twinkle in his eye that only Rachel could read because she knew what was going on with him and his situation.
"Of course he's going to get a date," said Ron impatiently rounding on Rachel. "Who wouldn't want to go with Harry to the Ball? Girls were asking him all over the place for the Yule Ball!"
"Hermione doesn't want to go with me," said Harry in an undertone, fingering his fork.
"What?"
"Nothing…"
Harry tried to ignore him; he didn't want to think about anything that had to do with dancing or asking girls about something. Someone caught his attention: Hermione had just pushed open the doors of the Great Hall and was walking toward them
"Hi Hermione," said Harry, as she sat down next to him to join the group. He was pushing some of his food around his plate with his fork.
"Are you feeling better?" she said, putting a hand on his shoulder, looking anxious and concerned.
"A little bit," said Harry lazily. "But I've still been tired these past few weeks."
"You need to rest!" Hermione said patiently. "It's not good to run your body when it has no energy!"
"I have energy," yawned Harry, propping his head on his hand while his other hand continued to push around food on his plate. "Trust me, Hermione. I'm fine…"
"If you say so…" said Hermione softly. She still looked anxious.
"Hi Hermione," said Rachel, as though she and Ron had just joined them by sitting across from her and Harry.
"Hello Rachel," smiled Hermione. "Hi Ron."
"Ello Er-my-knee," said Ron, with a mouthful of some of his food he had stuffed in his mouth.
"Are you sure you're ok Harry?" said Hermione glancing at him. "You haven't looked any better since I feel asleep at your shoulder! - Well, you have actually… but you still don't look completely ok…"
Harry grinned and after catching Rachel's eye, she grinned to. Harry wasn't about to tell Hermione that there was no way he was going to feel better in the next few days. The fact that he still felt the same way about her since about two years ago wasn't helping making him feel any better. Plus the fact that he was now supposed to be hiding his feelings for her wasn't helping. Add to his dismal feelings because of an approaching Ball, a second one nonetheless, that he wasn't going to with Hermione, wasn't helping either.
"You feel asleep with your head on his shoulder?" coughed Ron in disbelief, somewhat choking on food. Rachel was hitting him on the back, though it looked like it wasn't doing any good to help. When Ron had made sure he could breath properly, he took a breath and looked somewhat… amused. "When was this!?"
"I didn't do it on purpose!" exclaimed Hermione, as if she were pleading innocent for a crime she had done. Harry thought he was seeing things, but that almost did look like a blush to him. "I was tired!"
Ron looked at Harry, then at Rachel, then back at Harry. He still had that amused expression plastered on his face.
"So," said Rachel, breaking the awkward silence, "are you ready for the Ball Hermione?"
"Oh yes," said Hermione, regaining her composure. "Ernie and I have coordinated our outfits. We're going to match."
"I see," said Rachel, glancing a look at Harry. He slumped in his chair and gave an inaudible sigh. It was the wrong thing to change the subject to.
"I know you two are," said Hermione, motioning to her and Ron. They merely shrugged and she turned to Harry. "What about you Harry? Are you ready?"
"Absolutely," said Harry, with a hint of sarcastic enthusiasm in his voice. "Can't wait…"
***
The day that Harry had dreaded was finally here: The day of the Valentines Day Ball. The morning and afternoon went by expectantly fast and night time had approached; the Ball would start in about two hours.
Harry dressed silently in his Head Boy room in front of a mirror. He wore some black cargo pants, a green dress shirt, and his elegant green robes that he used for the Yule Ball. He left his hair alone; he tried hopelessly to tame it and there was no way he was going to make it nice and tidy at the rate he was going. Plus there wasn't anyone to impress anyway. He could hear footsteps outside his door which told him that some of the overly excited students were all heading down to the Great Hall, apparently eager to get to the Ball first.
Hedwig stared and watched Harry dress. She had cooled down a bit, but she was still a bit resentful towards him. Harry didn't care; as long as it wasn't Hermione yelling at him, he didn't care who it was.
"You look fine Harry," said Hedwig, from the top if his desk where she was watching. "Just try not to look so nervous."
"Me? Nervous?" squeaked Harry, looking into the mirror and adjusting his glasses, his voice a little higher than usual.
"You're shaking," she apprehensively, flying and landing on top of his shoulder. "I can see you shivering from the desk and I can definitely feel you shaking too. What are you so nervous about?"
"I really don't feel like going anymore," said Harry pathetically. "I don't want spare the embarrassment…"
"You didn't go to the last one Harry," said Hedwig patiently, her claws digging into Harry's shoulders slightly to balance herself on his shaking shoulder. "Just go and have a good time."
"How can I have a good time?" asked Harry, almost hysterically. "I look terrible, Hermione doesn't know I love her, and I don't even have a date!"
"You look handsome and you aren't the only one going without a date," said Hedwig softly. "I'm sure of it."
Harry was reminded of what Rachel had him in the Great Hall; it was the exact same thing.
"About Hermione not knowing that you love her," said Hedwig tentatively. "I'm… proud of you Harry…"
Harry frowned at her through the mirror.
"I still don't agree with you giving up on Hermione!" added Hedwig, looking disappointed. "But I'm proud of the way you've been handling the situation. You haven't been sulking as much as I thought you would've and I can see that you're trying immensely to be as normal and calm as you can be. Other than the fact that you've just been looking very tired these past few weeks, Hermione on the other hand…"
"What about her?"
"…sees right through you Harry. She can tell something is wrong with you."
Harry's face fell slightly.
"I have a great feeling of admiration for you though, Harry," said Hedwig, putting a comforting wing behind his head. "I'm still proud of you…"
Harry smiled and stroked one of Hedwig's wings. "Thanks…"
***
Harry walked down to the Great Hall, Hedwig perched firmly on his shoulder (she insisted on at least walking him), passing some of the other students who were apparently waiting for their dates or for more of their friends to join the group. Most of them looked very nice, sporting some sort of dress robe in some variation or color; there was even one boy who had almost the same shade of green as Harry's dress robe. Harry paced down to the Great Hall, looking forward to how Hermione looked and suddenly feeling nervous at how his hair still stuck up at strange angles. Ron and Rachel in front of the Great Hall doors, waiting for him.
"Hi Harry," said Ron, clapping his hand on his back that made Hedwig lose her balance on Harry's shoulder. He was wearing a reddish maroon colored dress robe it seemed to match perfectly with his red hair.
"Hello Harry," greeted Rachel with a wave. She was wearing a silvery looking dress robe that resembled the color Harry remembered when looking into a Pensieve, and her hair was braided into a ponytail. Harry smiled at her.
"Hey Ron," said Harry, "Evening Rachel."
"Awww, look at Hedwig," she said, beaming up at her on Harry's shoulder. She was always fond of Harry's owl.
"She accompanying you Harry?" asked Ron sarcastically, smiling at Hedwig.
"Just thought she wanted to walk me down that's all," said Harry, now perching Hedwig on his arm, which was bent at the elbow and his fist near his stomach.
"How would you know if she wanted to walk down with you?" asked Ron, somewhat incredulously. "You can't talk to animals!"
"Of course he can't!" said an patient voice, from behind Harry. He turned around.
It was Hermione accompanied arm in arm with Ernie MacMillian. She was wearing a very light, pinkish dress robe and the pink was so subtle and so light, Harry thought it was white at first glance. The pink matched the same color that was on her cheeks and her hair was down in very soft curls that cascaded just below her shoulders. She looked more beautiful than Harry had been expecting. She smiled at him.
Ernie was wearing a white dress robe.
"Hi Hermione," said Harry, swallowing and trying not to sound like his breath was taken away too much. "You look beautiful." She smiled and he could feel Hedwig hoot amusingly on his arm. "Hey Ernie."
"What's up Harry," he said, bowing his head politely. Harry still remembered the slight "rumor" Ernie had started, but understood that it wasn't entirely his fault. It was no use being mad at him either; it wasn't going to change Hermione accompanying him to the Ball, plus it would be just a waste of energy and anger.
"Ok Hedwig, the five of us are going to go now," hooted Harry toward her. He motioned to Hermione, Ron, Rachel, and Ernie. "Thanks for walking me."
"Ok Harry," hooted Hedwig, nipping at his finger affectionately. "Please try to have fun?"
"I will," assured Harry, but how sure he didn't know. He held out his arm to give Hedwig a footing and she spread her wings and took off in flight down the corridor and through the castle's main door. Harry sighed to himself and he watched Hedwig disappear into the night.
"You can talk to animals!" said Ron defiantly. He and the rest of them were all gazing where Hedwig had flown.
"Of course he can't," said Hermione and Rachel patiently at the same time. Harry grinned.
"Harry's been hooting at Hedwig like that for years now," explained Hermione, then turned to face him and said, "What do you call it Harry?"
"Just a little thing she and I do," said Harry, half shrugging. Ron had no idea how true his theory of him talking to animals was. True, he couldn't talk to animals. Not all of them anyway; just one.
"Let's go then," said Harry, feeling how stupid the five of them looked looking down a corridor at basically at nothing. He walked a few steps toward the entrance of the Great Hall, stopped, then turned around. Hermione, Ron, Rachel, and Ernie had not moved from their spots. They stood five feet from Harry; Hermione and Rachel were frowning at him while Ron and Ernie was staring with bemused expressions.
"What?" he said, suddenly feeling self conscious.
"Aren't we going to wait for your date?" said Hermione tentatively.
"Oh," said Harry lamely. He had forgotten completely about it that it almost made him laugh. "I don't have one," he added shortly.
"What?" whispered Hermione incredulously. She was looking at him with sincere sorrow. "Why not?"
"I… couldn't get one," said Harry lamely. The four of them kept looking at him as if they had heard the most phenomenal news in years. Hermione let go of Ernie's arm and approached Harry, turning their backs to Ron, Rachel, and Ernie..
"What happened Harry?" asked Hermione in a whisper. She looked worried.
"What do you mean, what happened?" said Harry, looking puzzled.
"I thought you had a date?"
"I didn't say that," answered Harry coolly. He wondered why it was such a big deal all of a sudden. "Why? Wondering who I might have been going with?"
"It's not that," sighed Hermione and she truly looked it. "It's just that all this time I thought you had a date."
"Why's it so important anyway?" said Harry impatiently. "Since when was it such a big deal?"
"It's just that…" started Hermione. She sighed and closed her eyes for a second, as if thinking about what to say. "It's just that I've been feeling really bad, you know, since our quarrel… I thought that maybe if a nice girl accompanied you to the Ball you might… relax a little."
She said those last words tentatively, afraid of the reaction Harry might give her. He blinked; Hermione sighed softly with relief.
"You've been looking so worn down and tired lately," she continued in a caring tone, "and I really wanted you to have some fun for a change. You deserve it."
"Hey Hermione," sighed Harry softly. "I appreciate you thinking about me and all," he said appreciatively, "but trust me, I'm fine."
"Are you sure?" asked Hermione. She still looked unnerved.
"Positive," assured Harry. "Thanks for caring, Hermione."
She smiled at him satisfactorily. "You didn't get one?"
"I didn't get one," Harry repeated, smiling comfortingly at her.
Hermione still looked at him with the same sorrow look. "So why couldn't you get one?"
"The ones I asked were already taken," lied Harry, feeling guilty. He wasn't about to say, "I wanted to go with you but you were already taken and I didn't want to go with anyone else besides you."
"You two finished over there?" said Ron's impatient voice from behind them. Harry and Hermione turned around and saw Ron, indeed looking impatient, Rachel, still looking aghast that Harry had no date, and Ernie, looking very keen about what Harry was talking about with his date.
"Let's go then!" called Harry, motioning toward the door and added to Hermione, "Thanks again" in a whisper so that only she could hear him, smiled appreciatively and winked at her.