A/N: It has been ages since I last updated this fic, and I kind of got out of the fanfiction thing for a while, but if you guys are still interested in reading, I will continue to write. Remember to send in your questions! Oh, and this story probably won't go up to R. I'm not keen on writing sex scenes so if you are interested in that I apologize. Also, I'm a bit out of practice when it comes to fanfiction writing so please bear with me.
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"Ouch!"
Scribble, scribble, pause. Draco Malfoy looked up from his parchment.
"Geeze, that hurts you know."
Draco rolled his eyes and refilled his quill with ink.
"Ouch!"
Scribble, scribble, scribble. Page flip. Pause.
"Grr… ouch!"
Slamming his book down, Draco glared at the opposite side of the table in irritation. "Pansy, would you cut it out?"
"This plant from Herbology won't stop poking me."
"It's not the plant," Draco muttered.
Pansy looked up in surprise. "What?"
"I said, it's not the plant." He looked meaningfully under the table.
"Weasley!" exclaimed Pansy in shock. "What the hell are you doing?"
Ginny, a slight pink tint to her cheek, crawled out from under the table and brushed herself off. She was holding a purple-inked quill. Pansy glared at her. "What the hell are you doing?" she repeated.
Ginny blushed further. She couldn't admit that making holes and purple ink marks on Pansy's robe and skirt was her small attempt at getting revenge for her nasty trick. She couldn't do much else with her broken arm.
Pansy looked down at her skirt. "Ech! Weasley! Draco, did you see what she did to my clothes?"
Draco looked up from his parchment. "Pathetic," he said lazily. He didn't make it clear to what or whom he was referring to, thus Ginny was content that Draco insulted his housemate, and Pansy was satisfied with his comment on the little Weasley's stupid joke. Neither questioned the direction of the response.
"Well then," Pansy said, "dinner is in an hour and I want to get changed out of these robes, which I'll have to burn thanks to your new Gryffindor friend."
"We're not friends," Draco and Ginny recited simultaneously.
Pansy gathered up her books and her plant and looked at them in disgust. "Two weeks together and already you even say the same things at the same time," she huffed and walked off. Ginny sat in the now unoccupied seat across from Draco.
"Now that I've finally got rid of her, let's get these stupid letters out of the way so that I don't have to look at you for longer than necessary," Draco said.
Ginny pulled the bag of letters up on the table and picked a few at random. She muttered something under her breath that sounded a bit like "stuck-up cow", and Draco scowled.
"How's that broken arm, Weasley? Must find it hard to shower and complete your other activities with only one working limb." Now it was Ginny's turn to scowl.
"At least I shower in the first place," she retorted.
Draco smirked. "At this point Weasley, I'd actually rather you didn't, if you get my jist."
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The Hogwarts Advice Column
A Weasley-Malfoy Collaboration
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Dear Malfoy and Weasley,
I'm in my sixth year here at Hogwarts, and I still have never had a boyfriend. I may not be the best looking person ever, or the smartest, but isn't there always someone out there? Or is it just me?
Oh-So-Lonely
Dear Oh-So-Lonely,
Don't worry, your time will come. Your time may be tomorrow, or two weeks from now, or even a month or a year, but rest assured that it will most certainly--
Or it may never come. But, there is always someone unattractive and stupid out there. Look in Gryffindor, I can think of two boys in particular who may match, or even more likely, surpass, your physical credentials for unattractiveness.
Good day,
Ginny Weasley
Draco Malfoy
*
Dear Draco,
What the hell do you think you are doing?! Your advice is useless. And, in case you haven't noticed, no one follows it. So tell Dumbledore to go put his head in the toilet and count to a million.
Selena Lupin
Dear Selena Lupin,
I sincerely hope that by the time you read this it will have occurred to you that I would very much enjoy telling Dumbledore to go put his head in the toilet and count to a million-
However, I'm sure there's a more efficient method of cleaning the school latrines. How about we stick your head down there and hope we don't have to count to a million before we feel the need to flush?
Good day,
Draco Malfoy
Ginny Weasley
*
Dear Malfoy
I have brown hair but my sister wants me to dye it black and my other sister would rather I dye it red. I haven't
seen either of them in a long time and for some strange reason my hair is of large importance to them. Any
suggestions?
sincerely
hair troubles
Dear Hair Troubles,
If you are not naturally blonde and are considering dyeing it red, I suggest you shave your hair off entirely.
Good day,
Draco Malfoy
*
Dear Ginny,
I have a temper problem, if some one makes me mad I just want to bash their head in. Can you please tell me how to
control my temper?
Fire Red
Dear Fire Red,
I am really not the best person to ask for this as I have quite a temper myself. Working with Malfoy does require quite a bit of self-restraint however, so I suggest you do as I do: count to 3 and close your eyes and-
Hope he doesn't become any hotter.
Good day,
Definitely not Draco Malfoy and most certainly Ginny Weasley
*
Ginny yawned and stretched her arms above her head. "I'm beat, Malfoy. It's past midnight. I need to sleep."
Draco spun his quill between his aching fingers. "Tired already? I do suppose you're not used to being up this late."
Ginny grabbed her book bag and stooped down to pluck a few extra letters to add to the pile. "What's that supposed to mean?"
Draco smirked. "This is around the time most of us attractive people get laid…"
Ginny blushed and grabbed her sweater before making her way towards the door. "Hey Weasley!" he called.
She paused and turned around. "What?"
He waved a letter at her. "You forgot to answer this one."
Ginny stifled another yawn. "You answer it. I'm going to bed."
As he heard the door to the library close, Draco examined the letter. He clutched it tightly in his hand and then released it to smooth out the wrinkles. He took out a quill.
*
Hello Ginny.
How's life treating you? Anyways, Ginny, I think you are brilliant and sexy and Wonderful and....... Anyways,
will you go out with me?
Sincerely,
A Slytherin who is most definitely not Blaise Zabini (But he secretly is. So whaddya say Ginny?)
*
Draco grabbed the last of the pile of letters to which he had responded, and placed the most recent one on top before gathering his things and walking towards the common room.
*
Blaise:
No.
Good Day,
Draco Malfoy
*
A/N: Whoever can come up with the funniest question will be chosen to respond to another question as a special guest character in the upcoming chapter. Will it be you?
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