Chapter 4: The Kiss
"Oh," said Hermione, looking down at their still clasped hands, before easing out of his grasp and walking over to stand by the balcony, her back to him. "I'm sorry, Harry. That must be terrible."
Harry sighed, and began wringing his hands. "Yeah, it's been pretty unbearable. I've been in love with her for ... well, it seems like forever. But I was too thick to realise. By the time I did ... I'd lost any chance I might've had with her."
"Are you sure?" Hermione asked dully, staring out at the dark and empty street.
"Yeah, like I said, she's with this guy and they're really in love," Harry paused, wondering how much further he dared to go in the conversation, but decided to ignore the part of his mind that was screeching at him to stop. Now that he'd started to explain his heart, as he'd wanted to for so long, it seemed that he'd lost any control, or desire, to stop. "The worst part is that the guy she's with, well, he's a friend of mine. I feel like I'm betraying him, just by feeling the way I do. And it's killing me."
Hermione turned around to face him, her eyes overbright. "Don't say that, Harry. Please don't ever say that. You're not betraying him. You haven't done anything about your feelings, have you?"
"No," Harry said, shocked at the thought. "I wouldn't, I couldn't. Not ever," he finished, defeated.
Hermione turned away from him again. "Maybe you should," she said quietly.
"What?"
"Harry, if you really love this woman, you owe it to yourself, and to her even, to tell her. Let her know how you feel. If you keep it inside of you for the rest of your life, without saying anything..." her voice hitched for a moment. She composed herself. "You just need to tell her. The worst that can happen is that you confirm what you already believe. But you need closure, Harry, so that you can move on. And you're never going to be able to if there's still a part of you that believes there's a chance."
"I hear what you're saying, Hermione," he said to her back. "But you don't understand. I'd be risking a lot. My friendship with her boyfriend... and my friendship with her. I couldn't bare to jeopardise that."
"What other option do you have, Harry?" Hermione questioned, rather shrilly, finally facing him again. "Is their friendship worth more to you than your own well-being?"
"Much more," Harry interrupted, staring deeply into her eyes. "So much more."
Hermione looked at him, at a loss, searching for something to say. "I just hate to see you like this... I've always hated to see you like this. When you're in pain, or in trouble..." Her shoulders began to shake, as her chin began to tremble, and tears welled up in her eyes. "And I hate not being able to help you."
Harry was by her side in an instant, wrapping his arms around her. "But you do help me, Hermione. You help me in ways that you don't even realise," he pulled away from her enough so that he could look into her eyes, but still keep his arms firmly around her waist. "You've always been there for me. You've always believed in me, even during times when I didn't believe in myself." Harry found his voice breaking, as he said the things he had needed to say to her for years. "You're the only one ... you're the only one who's always ... who's always loved me like that, unconditionally. And it's meant more to me than you'll ever know."
Harry wiped the tears from her cheeks, as she gazed up at him, seemingly speechless for the first time in her life.
So close now, he tried to go on. "Hermione, I..."
But suddenly, Harry felt that he couldn't continue. He was staring at her lips, his own parted slightly, when he found himself leaning closer to her. Hermione's eyes widened, and then closed softly, as she too leaned forward.
Harry's heart raced as he realised what was about to happen. He was only inches away from her lips now. His mind begged for him to stop, as all the possible and terrible outcomes of this one moment sped through his brain. Harry, it seemed, wouldn't, or couldn't, listen.
As their lips met, delicately, Harry became hyperaware of every part of her. The taste of her lips; the smell of her hair; the way the skin of her forearms felt under his touch. After a moment, Hermione pulled away and looked up at him in awe. She lifted her hand and, after a moment's hesitation, placed it cautiously on his cheek, then letting her fingers graze his lips. Everything seemed to happen in slow motion as Harry once more leaned towards her, to close the distance between them.
"Okay, guys, time's up!"
Harry and Hermione were jolted out of their trance-like state by the sound of Ron's booming voice on the other side of the door. Harry looked down at her, before stepping quickly away, moving towards the bench. Hermione seemed in shock, as she walked quickly to the railing of the balcony, facing the street, just as the front door opened.
"Well I can't let you have him all to yourself tonight, Hermione," Ron stated jokingly, walking out onto the porch. He went and stood by Hermione, and kissed her quickly on the cheek. The he turned to face Harry. "So what have you guys been up to?"