Unofficial Portkey Archive

Confused Paths

Disclaimer: See Chapter 1… Scratch that part when I say the OC don't show up. They do show up here.

Chapter 4 - Realization

Harry had finally arrived at Hogwarts. The trip had been a bit boring for him; after Ron, Hermione and Ginny had returned from the Prefects' meeting, he made an excuse and left their compartment. He met some of the other Gryffindors, namely Seamus Finnigan, Dean Thomas and Neville Longbottom, who were telling each other about their summers' adventures. Harry joined the conversation soon, but hadn't had anything to say because when he hadn't been with the Dursleys, he had been in Grimmauld Place, somewhere he wasn't supposed to tell them about. He was relieved Neville hadn't mentioned anything about the events at the end of last term.

His enjoyable conversation had been interrupted, though, by the sudden appearance of Ginny, who said she had something to talk with him, privately. He noticed Dean grimaced at that, as he was Ginny's boyfriend; she quickly added that she would have a private conversation with him too, later, and that earned Dean a meaningful snigger from Seamus.

Harry wanted to avoid that conversation, because he knew it would be about his behavior during the summer, but he imagined it would be easier to talk to Ginny than to Ron or Hermione. He had never been any more wrong in his whole life.

"Okay, finally I can pull this conversation off," she had said. "I want to know," she made a small pause, "What is the matter with you. Please do not say it is Sirius; I will not believe that. Lupin told me you can talk about him quite well now. If Hermione or my daft brother wants to believe that, it is fine for me, but I will not."

Harry had been surprised at her boldness. He never thought Ginny to care that much about him, even when she had her crush on him (which he was very grateful that had ended). He didn't want to tell her he was uncomfortable with Ron and Hermione's relationship, though; she was Ron's sister, after all, and he thought she wouldn't understand his point.

"I do not really want to talk about it, Gin," he said, trying to avoid the subject. He looked away, and half-expected her to back away and dismiss the conversation. "I will not let you go if you do not answer. Even if we do not talk that much, I also think it is bad you're not talking, you know," she replied.

'She is right, you know,' he thought again. 'You are just missing Hermione's closeness. You did not have to stop talking to her. Ginny had nothing to do with that.' He sighed, and then said, in a defeated tone, "I miss Hermione."

He was going to continue and explain it clearly, but Ginny hade made an understanding face, and quickly said, "Oh, I see… That is it, then. Do not worry; I am not mad at you. In fact, I thought that would happen… I will not tell them, either. Guess you will have to work that out, anyway." She then looked at him with some concern and strode off to the compartment they were before, to meet Dean.

Harry wasn't sure Ginny had understood what he meant; her answer had been a little strange. She said she wasn't mad at him; if she had understood, she would probably be, because he was jealous of her brother. Harry didn't give it much attention, though; Ginny had said she wouldn't tell, and the less she knew, better. The rest of the trip was spent in two quick games of Exploding Snap with Neville and Seamus, and most of it, in silence. None of the guys seemed to be bothered by that, to Harry's amusement.

Harry was now in the Great Hall, and the revival of his conversation with Ginny was interrupted by a loud whispering in the hall. It seems people finally noticed the Wonder Trio was separated, as people kept pointing at him, and at Ron and Hermione, who were sitting quite distant from him. Harry wished people would stop staring at him, because it made the whole situation even more uncomfortable than it already was. He tried to focus his attention somewhere away from the gossip, and turned his gaze to the Staff Table. He was surprised to notice that Tonks was sitting there, besides Professor Flitwick, and she smiled at him.

'She must have been hired as the Defense Professor,' Harry thought. 'Being an auror, she must know a lot about Defense. Maybe we will be having a good professor this year, for a change.' He smiled back at her and turned to Ron and Hermione. They seemed oblivious to Tonks' presence, most probably because she was wearing her natural face, which Ron and Hermione had never seen. Harry's glance at his friends earned a new round of loud whispering around the hall.

Fortunately, the whispers were interrupted as Professor McGonagall entered the hall, along with the first years, for the Sorting Ceremony. Behind them all, there were a girl and a boy, who seemed too old to be first years, but too young to be part of the staff. Thus, they were using students' robes. Harry wondered what were they doing there; he wasn't the only one, though, as he heard his classmates Lavender and Parvati whisper something about the boy's ponytail.

As every year, the Sorting Hat sang his song, before the ceremony was started. Harry didn't pay it much attention, but he instantly realized the meaning of the words when he heard the last part. "Remember the years of yore, and remember my last song; united we can heal our sores, and the evil of the world we will see gone." There was a loud clapping in the hall, as always, and Harry mused over the message of the song. 'He is talking about Voldemort again, but this time he did not need to be that subtle,' the boy thought. 'I guess I am not the mad-attention-seeking boy anymore,' he finished, bitterly.

Professor McGonagall turned to the first years and gave them their pointers. "When I call your name, you will put on the hat and sit on the stool to be sorted." Then she started to call the new students, who were sorted among the four houses. Harry realized only four students had made it into Slytherin this year. 'Maybe they are so afraid of Voldemort they are asking the hat to put them in another house,' Harry thought, remembering his own request to the hat.

Professor McGonagall rolled the scroll which held the names of the first years; then, she unrolled another one, and announced, "Now, the Sorting Ceremony will be held for the two transfer students from Beauxbatons Institute." A wave of whispers crossed the hall, but soon died out. The professor turned to the girl and the boy that were behind the first years. Professor McGonagall called, "Garnier, Johan," and the boy with the ponytail stepped forward.

The boy put on the hat, and then sat on the bench. He seemed quite nervous of everything. After some seconds, the hat shouted, "SLYTHERIN!" The boy didn't seem to mind the choice, and walked to his house table. Harry saw that Draco Malfoy immediately offered the boy a place at his side, which the boy didn't refuse. 'Quite a bad start for a newcomer, being friends with Malfoy,' Harry thought.

Harry's thoughts were interrupted when Professor McGonagall called "Garnier, Rafaelle" to be sorted. The hall went into an uproar. Harry heard Lavender and Parvati talking again. "They have the same surname? They don't seem like brother and sister to me, you know? They are a lot different from one another," Lavender started. She was right; the boy was black and tall, with a long black hair with small curls. The girl was quite short, about five feet, and was pale white, with a short straight blond hair. "Maybe they are married," Parvati proposed. The two girls went giggling until the Sorting Hat shouted, "RAVENCLAW!"

The girl proceeded to the Ravenclaw House Table, and seemed quite happy about that. She was offered various places along the table, but sat besides Cho Chang. Harry avoided the sight, but had time enough to see Cho was made Head Girl. Harry thought about congratulating Cho later, but didn't see any point in doing it. 'She will probably start crying at me again,' he thought, and smirked sarcastically.

Professor McGonagall had just left with the Sorting Hat and the stool, when Professor Dumbledore got to his feet for his opening speech. "Welcome to a new year at Hogwarts!" The old wizard said, with a smile. "Maybe some of you have already realized that our ceremony was a little different this year," he added, and Harry a saw a sparkling in his eyes. "We have some transfer students that came from Beauxbatons Institute. I am sure everyone from third year and above remembers it. It has been a long time since we last had transfer students at our school, and I would like all of our older students, specially the sixth years, to treat them well and make them feel at home."

'Sixth years?' Harry thought. 'Guess we will be having another Malfoy pawn soon,' he completed to himself, looking at the Slytherin table. The new boy was still talking to Malfoy.

"Well, I have talked too much and I am sure I am not interesting anymore," Dumbledore said with a smile. "Tuck in!"

When the headmaster finished his speech, the dishes were filled with food, as always, and Harry proceeded to eat. The talking on the hall had re-started, and Harry was disappointed to see he was still one of the main subjects. He had hoped the new students were enough of a distraction, but had to endure almost an hour of whispering about the "break" of the "Wonder Trio".

When the main dishes and the desserts finally disappeared from the tables, Dumbledore rose again, this time for his usual recommendations. He gave the usual advice about the Forbidden Forest, and Filch's list of forbidden items, which Dumbledore said to contain a large number of things from Weasley Wizarding Wheezes. Harry had an amused smile at his face when he heard that.

Dumbledore then proceeded to present the new Defense Professor. "I would like to present you the new professor of Defense against the Dark Arts," he said, and Tonks rose. "This is Nymphadora Tonks, though I warn you never to say her first name if you want to become adults." Harry stifled a laugh at that remark, and at the grimace Tonks had made when her first name was said. Ron, Hermione and Ginny seemed very surprised at her presence, which confirmed Harry's theory that they didn't recognized her.

"Professor Tonks is an auror from the Ministry of Magic, and is doing us a special favor. I am sure her experience will be very enlightening for all of you." Harry saw Tonks looking at him again, and gave her a thumbs-up sign. Dumbledore proceeded to give other minor advices, and dismissed the students. Harry saw Hermione rise and call the first years to follow her. 'Always perfect in her duties,' he thought. He proceeded to the Common Room by himself, using shortcuts to arrive earlier. He didn't know the new password, but the Fat Lady recognized him and let him enter.

Harry knew that once people arrived at the Common Room, they would ask him why he wasn't together with Ron and Hermione, and wanted to avoid that. He proceeded to his own dormitory, sat on his bed, and closed the sheets around it. The whispering in the Great Hall had been enough for him, and he needed some peace.

Sleep didn't come easy, though, and he heard when Seamus, Dean and Neville entered the room. Dean and Seamus were talking about something Harry couldn't hear, but Neville seemed awfully quiet. He was surprised when Neville opened the sheets around his bed, and told him, "I want to talk you Harry. Can you come with me for a minute?"

Harry couldn't guess what Neville could possibly want with him right now, but didn't refuse. They left the dormitory, under the stares of Dean and Seamus, and proceeded to the Common Room. The room was almost empty, except for some first years, Ron, and Hermione. Harry averted his eyes from them. Neville seemed to notice, as he turned to Harry and said, "Let's go out. I guess we will need some privacy." Harry nodded in relief.

When they reached the corridor outside, Neville turned to Harry and said. "First, some people from the other houses were asking if you will continue the DA." Harry looked at Neville incredulously. He didn't need to get out of his bed just to answer that. "I do not know, I will think about it," Harry said, absent-mindedly. "Probably not. We have got a new teacher now, and she is an auror, so I think she must be quite good." Neville seemed to realize Harry's point, and nodded in understanding.

"You didn't get me out here just to ask that, right?" Harry asked. Neville nodded again. "There is something else. Well… I do not know how to tell you that… But I will make my best." Harry nodded as if waiting for Neville to continue. "It is about… Ron and Hermione." Harry's eyes widened. What could Neville wanted to tell him about Ron and Hermione?

"I saw them together, when you were at your bed right now," Neville started, "And I think I can help you." Harry snorted. How could Neville possibly help? "Some time ago… Until fourth year, to be exact," Neville continued, "I used to fancy Hermione." Harry's eyes widened again.

"I fancied her because she always helped me in the classes, and with my studies," Neville said, seeing in Harry's eyes the question Harry didn't ask. "But I realized there was no way I could date her, because she was taken already," he added.

"By Krum," Harry spoke. "It must have been hard for you, I know, but I do not know what this has to do with anything…"

"No, it was not by Krum." Neville interrupted. 'Not by Krum?!' Harry thought. "This means… This means… Ron and Hermione are… since fourth year?!" Harry said aloud. "No, that is not it either. She was taken by you."

"She has always been taken by you. It was for you she sacrificed herself, it was to see you playing quidditch she would quit studying, it was always for you. Do you know the days when she was teaching you some curses for the third task?" Harry nodded. Neville's last words have given him a sudden realization of something he should had noticed a long time ago. "One of those days, I had asked her to help me with an assignment in Potions, but she could not help me because of she had to research those curses for you. That day I realized she had been always yours."

"No matter if she is dating Ron right now; I do not think he will ever mean for her what you mean, Harry. I thought that you wanted to know that." With these last words, Neville gave Harry a weak slap on the shoulder, and entered the Common Room. Harry stayed outside, pondering over the meaning of Neville's words. Hermione would still be there for him, he knew that. But that suddenly didn't seem enough for Harry. He wanted her to be always there for him. These realizations hit him very hard, along with Neville's words, and he stayed outside for minutes, without moving. The last realization hit him harder than all the others.

He wanted something else than just her presence around. He wanted her.

He had just fallen for her.

A/N: Hey, Harry finally understood… Now he's got to act on it (that's the hard part, Harry boy…). Thanks to my beta CaliberKX for her job and her suggestions on the chapter. She says she will be reading my reviews too and that any grammar errors are her fault now (I still think they're my fault, I'm the writer here).

This Monday Portkey.org had a huge downtime, and I freaked out. I don't know if I can live without it, since this is the only H/Hr site I know. Anyway, when that happened, I posted this story on FF.net, and I got only one review. I guess people here are nicer. Thank you guys again for the support. Thanks for the lone reviewer there, because she pointed an error to me… At Chapter 2, I said Tonks' father was a muggle. He is a muggle-born, not a muggle. Sorry about that.

Sabu113, I guess this chapter answers your question about Harry being recluse. He was just avoiding seeing Ron and Hermione together, but he talked normally with the other guys during the trip.

Thanks to everyone else who reviewed. In my country it's Friday already… So I think I'm late. I said this would be out on Thursday… My excuse: Thursday was my mom's birthday and my beta couldn't send me the chapter back on time. Hope you buy that one, because it's true. Guess I can have the next one on Monday… R/R.