Unofficial Portkey Archive

Confused Paths

Disclaimer: I don't own anything, just the plot (is there a plot here?) and the OCs. Don't sue me, JKR; I'm poor and I don't have any money.

Chapter 8 - Point of View

The days had passed like a blur since the first visit to Hogsmeade. Hermione had told Harry everything that happened that day; Harry and Ron had exchanged curses in the Common Room (both of them were given detentions); Ron had returned the DA's galleon to Hermione (he hadn't been in any DA class since the beginning of the term, anyway); a lot of things that deeply affected the former Wonder Trio.

To Harry, nothing had been more important than his conversation with Ron, in November. Ginny and Neville (who were a couple now; Ginny ditched Dean at the Halloween Party) had arranged for the former best friends to meet in the Common Room, while Hermione was in her Arithmancy class. Harry had told Ron everything that happened since July, including his feelings for Hermione. Ron just listened to everything and left the room in silence. Harry just hoped he would give everything some thought.

Harry and Hermione had been closer than ever. Harry had even been asked by some students if they were a couple, but Harry denied (while blushing heavily). People would answer with praise, "You should ask her out, you know, you look quite cute together," or with disbelief, "Yeah, right, I know that." Harry always wondered what Hermione would answer if she was asked the same thing.

Five days before Christmas, they were given another Hogsmeade Saturday, for Christmas shopping. Ginny and Neville, the only people who knew about Harry's feelings (besides Ron), had told Harry to ask Hermione on a date. Harry had asked Hermione, but got too nervous to say the "date" part. They would be going, just the two of them, but it wasn't an official date. Harry couldn't stop calling himself stupid.

The two of them had agreed to meet in the Common Room that day; they would have breakfast together, and ride together to Hogsmeade. There they would separate to buy their gifts ("You can not see what I'm giving you," Hermione said) and then they would meet again at the Three Broomsticks. Harry was planning to tell Hermione everything when they arrived there.

'I can not chicken out again,' he thought, while waiting for her in the Common Room. 'Who knows when I'll be given such a good chance again? I will not let this down, I will not let this down, I will not…'

"Harry?" Asked a familiar voice. Harry was snapped out of his thoughts by the vision of Hermione in front of him. She was very beautiful today, even to someone whose opinion wasn't so biased. She was wearing a pink sweater with a black jeans and boots. Her hair was done into a long ponytail and Harry liked it. His young hormones were particularly pleased with the way the jeans clung to her. He was brought back from his dreams when she asked again, "Are you okay, Harry? You were grimacing when I got here."

"I am fine," he stammered. "I was just trying to remember the ingredients of that potion from yesterday. By the way, you are very beautiful today," he finished, lamely. She blushed slightly then put a hand to his forehead. "I knew it," she said. "You have a fever. Otherwise, you would not be thinking of Potions on a Saturday." She laughed heartily, and Harry joined her, after admiring her smile.

They went down to the Great Hall and had their breakfast. They weren't turning heads anymore; everyone, even the Slytherins, seemed to be used to the "couple". Malfoy himself had thrown at least five taunts about Harry's "mudblood girlfriend".

The two of them were greeted by Ginny and Neville some time later. Harry's nervousness was multiplied by ten when Neville winked at him, as if saying "Good luck". Neville and his girlfriend left quite fast, because Ginny wanted to change clothes. It was snowing that day, and the red-haired wanted at least to wear a jumper.

When the couple left, Hermione turned to Harry and asked, "They look quite good together, don't you think?" Harry wouldn't expect Hermione to talk about other people's love lives, but answered anyway. "Yeah… I guess Neville deserved some happiness, after everything he has been passing with his parents," he said, with a sad tone. "Ginny told me she never saw it coming. She said she thought Neville fancied me," Hermione said, matter-of-factly. "Well, that is true," Harry said, after swallowing a bite of his bacon sandwich, "He used to fancy you, but gave up on the fourth year." Hermione's eyes widened. "You knew that and did not tell me? What kind of friend are you?" The girl asked, mockingly. Harry quickly excused himself. "I did not know it until the beginning of this year," he said.

Hermione nodded in comprehension, and both of them were silent for a while. Harry was thinking about Hermione's attitude. 'Maybe she was interested on Neville,' Harry thought to himself. 'If that's so, it's useless of me to ask her out today…', he completed. He turned to her and saw she was deep in thought too. He decided to ask her about it, before he did something stupid.

"If you had known it before, would you have gone out with Neville?" Harry asked her. She turned to him, as if snapped out from a dream, and answered, "Maybe I would," she said, and Harry's heart fell. "But for the same reason I went out with Viktor. Just because I never had anyone's attention back there. No feelings besides friendship," she said. Harry felt relieved again, until she completed, "I think I had my eyes on someone else back there."

The awkward silence fell between the two of them, once more. Her words replayed in Harry's mind. 'She had her eyes on someone else back there,' Harry thought. Harry tried to guess who was that "someone else". Hermione had never shown herself attracted to no one, except Viktor or… Ron. It had to be Ron, of course. Ron was her first boyfriend; and she hadn't said his name when she spoke about the "No feeling besides friendship" line. So that meant Hermione fancied Ron, and Harry had no chance with her even if he confessed his feelings today. He suddenly started to feel very bad.

"Ready to go?" He asked her, trying to sound as normal as possible. She was deep in thought again, but seemed to have gone back to reality when Harry talked to her. She looked at his half-eaten sandwich and asked if he wouldn't finish it. Harry shook his head and said, "I am not hungry anymore." He couldn't hold the sorrow in his voice now. She looked at him concerned, but got up. Both of them left the hall, the awkward silence still between them.

Hermione broke the silence when they were in the way to Hogsmeade. "What are you thinking about, Harry?" She asked. "Well…" Harry began, trying to make up an excuse. "I was thinking about what I should give Remus for Christmas. You know, he is my godfather now, he has got to receive something too," he said, though he knew Remus' present would be some stylish clothing he had seen on Gladrags last time.

"Hmm… Last year, I would tell you to give him some nice outfits," Hermione started, "But since he has got one third of the Black family's fortune now, I really do not know. Maybe you could give him a book. He likes them," she said. Harry didn't know Remus had got a third of Sirius' money. He really needed something to give Remus now. "I had just thought about clothing, and you fired my idea," he said, smiling. "I did not know Remus had inherited some of Sirius' money," he added.

"In fact, Sirius left that third to Remus and Tonks," Hermione said. "The two of them are living together now," she added. "I did not know that too," Harry said. "It seems everybody knows everything except me! Remus will hear something when I meet him," he said, jokingly. Both of them laughed. "Well, do not feel so bad. You and I are the only ones who know that," she said. "The two of them told me at the summer, but asked me to stay silent. But I guess it is no problem telling you."

"Who has got the last third?" Harry asked. Hermione's face darkened a little. "The Weasleys," she said, her voice a little low. Talking about the Weasleys would remind them of Ron, and their friend was still a sore subject. "They deserved it," Harry said, "I am glad Sirius did it." Hermione nodded and smiled at him. "I am very proud of you," she said. "Few people have that integrity. Most of them would be mad at Sirius or at the Weasleys," she added. Harry blushed slightly, and said, "Sirius and the Weasleys have nothing to do with our problems with Ron. Regardless of what Ron did, or said, I sill want the Weasleys to be happy." Hermione smiled again at his answer. "Has Sirius left anything to you, by the way?" Harry asked. "All the books inside your house," she answered right away. Now it was Harry's turn to smile.

They had arrived at Hogsmeade already, and were walking by the main street. They stopped and looked at each other. "Time to go, then?" Harry asked. "Yeah… Guess we have got to buy the gifts," Hermione answered. "I still have the Remus problem," Harry said. Hermione frowned a bit and said, "Now that I have told you about him and Tonks… We could give them both something for a couple, instead of looking for two different presents." Harry nodded in concordance. "We can think about it while we are shopping for the others," Hermione finished. Harry nodded again. Against his own will, he stepped forward and kissed Hermione's forehead. "See you later, then," he said, leaving a blushing Hermione behind.

Instantly after leaving Hermione, Harry's mind was flooded by his breakfast thoughts. He believed whole-heartedly that Hermione still fancied Ron, but even so, a part of him didn't want to give up on her. He knew that was the part that had just kissed her, the part that wanted to do a lot more than a kiss on the forehead. He banished that thoughts from his mind and proceeded to buy his friends' gifts.

The day proceeded exactly as planned; they bought their gifts, met at the Three Broomsticks, and bought Remus' gift. Harry didn't talk to Hermione about his feelings, though. He was really afraid of rejection, and worse, he was afraid to find out Hermione still fancied Ron.

That night, after dinner, the two of them met Ginny and Neville in the Common Room, very busy with each other. Harry cleared his throat, and the two of them pulled apart. Harry saw Ginny's eyes twinkle, as if expecting Harry to deliver some good news. Before Harry could say anything, Professor McGonagall entered the room. She wanted to know if anyone would be staying at Hogwarts during the Christmas. She immediately looked at Harry, as the boy always stayed. This year, Harry had hopes of going to Grimmauld Place to meet Remus, but his godfather was busy with the Order and wouldn't be able to stay there during the holiday. He had told Harry that he would be visiting the boy at Hogwarts, however.

Harry had just signed the parchment, stating that he would be staying, when Hermione came behind him and did the same. Harry got a bit surprised; he expected Hermione to go and stay with her parents. He gave her a questioning look and she answered, "They are going to the United States. One more of those dentist conventions." Harry nodded in understanding. They walked back to the sofa and resumed their conversation with Ginny and Neville. Ginny scowled at them; she was still a bit mad because they refused to go to the Burrow. "Hey, we do not want to watch you two snogging," Harry said, jokingly, and Neville blushed deeply. He was going with Ginny to the Burrow, and would meet his parents at St. Mungus after the Christmas party.

Ginny kept glancing at Harry during their conversation, still waiting for good news. After twenty minutes, she turned to Neville and said, "Didn't you have something to ask Hermione about that assignment in Potions?" Neville frowned a bit, and then quickly said, "Yeah, you are right, I had forgotten." Neville had made into the N.E.W.T. Potions class, showing that he was very good at it, when Snape wasn't near. When Neville turned to Hermione to ask her something, Harry was dragged away by Ginny.

"Did you tell her?" The red-haired girl asked right away. Harry shook his head. "Why not?" Ginny asked again. "It is a long story, I will not be able to tell it now…" Harry started. "Say it!" She said, annoyed. "I had this planned with Neville. He is asking her something quite big. Even Hermione will take at least twenty minutes to explain," she added. "I should have known that," Harry said, before telling her everything that happened in the breakfast.

"So," Ginny finally said, when Harry was finished. "You think Hermione fancies my brother?" The girl asked him, disbelief clear in her voice. "Are you insane, Harry? Don't you remember what Neville told you in the first day of the term?" Ginny asked again. "How do you know that?" Harry replied. "Neville told me that story at least six times. He thinks it is one of the best things he has ever done, you know," She said, and smiled. "I wish he had not done that," Harry said. "I would not be like this right now, I guess," he added. Ginny scowled at him again. "Hermione does not fancy Ron, you moron! She said that herself, remember? She told Ron in the first Hogsmeade weekend that she was not interested in anyone! And she was the one that broke up with him. Why would she do that if she was still interested on him?" The girl said, in a slightly higher voice. Harry was afraid Hermione had listened, but she was still talking to Neville.

"She said she was not interested in anyone, right," Harry began. "But what makes you think she is interested in me now?" The boy finished. "Harry, dear," Ginny said, and turned back to look at Neville and Hermione. The brown-haired girl was looking directly at them now. "Hermione would not tell Ron she was interested on you, if she were. And she would not tell you, of course. I had a four-year-long crush on you. Did I ever tell you about it?" Ginny said quickly. "That is the same here, but I think Hermione's crush lasted longer than mine. Look, you are the only Gryffindors that are staying for Christmas. So, make good use of that time and tell her everything, okay? We'd better get back before she gets suspicious." The red-haired girl turned on her heels and sat besides her boyfriend, Harry just behind her. He just wanted to find out what did Ginny meant by "her crush lasted longer than mine".

A/N: Okay, I said this chapter would be long. It was so long I couldn't finish it. This is just the first half of it. Don't kill me, please.

I choose Hermione's sweater to be pink due to her outfit on the PoA movie. I don't really like pink, though, and I think Hermione probably agrees with me. :P

Harry was being a R/Hr shipper when he concluded Hermione fancied Ron, I guess. That was incredibly hard to write; I couldn't think of any logical reason why Hermione would fancy Ron. I wonder how their shippers do it. ;P

Thanks to CaliberKX (my beta!) for her job. She was away the last chapters because of her University exams, but that was worth it. She's got maximum grades in all but two of them.

My apologies to doublewide2008. I was asked on chapter 6 if there would be any other ships on the story, and I didn't answer on chapter 7. The answer: well, there are, but they're not as deep as H/Hr. The small bits of Neville/Ginny on this chapter is a good example.

My apologies to SilverFoot too; I suffer from a permanent title-writer's block. Naming chapters is something terribly hard to me.

JayaMioneDurron: I would love a beta-reader. I have one right now, but she's constantly busy and she's not betaing all my chapters. I think I'll finish this story with her, though. If I ever write anything else (I intend to), I contact you right away. ^_^

Thanks to everyone else who reviewed. Next chapter on Tuesday… R/R. ^_^