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Pub Night by Tawny Spitfyre
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Pub Night

Tawny Spitfyre

Pub Night

By Tawny Spitfyre

A Harry/Hermione Story - Rated PG-13 - Around 7600 Words

Answer to the "Pick-Up Line Challenge" posted on Portkey.org by VipyGirl831

(This is an expanded scene from my soon-to-be-released story, tentatively titled
"Birthday Surprises," which ends with a Harry/Hermione relationship. This scene just
shows some of the actions leading up to their relationship while answering this challenge.)

Part One: Orpheus

It was a Friday night and the scene was not unusual, except for the fact that Hermione was present. On Friday nights Ron and Harry met at the pub, along with any random arrangement of their friends who were able to pop in for a few rounds. This particular Friday, Ginny and Seamus had met up with Ron long before Harry arrived; he made some excuse about having stopped to check on Hermione's birthday present. Harry hadn't been there long when Hermione unexpectedly showed up, claiming to need a break from her rigorous day of research.

The group of friends soon settled at a small, square table in a corner of the room; Ron sat between Seamus and Ginny, and Hermione between Ginny and Harry. Ron and Seamus had already been through a few pints, and Harry and Ginny had downed a couple of firewhisky shots with them. When Hermione arrived, she ordered herself a rather colourful drink that was topped with an orange wedge.

The conversation started where it typically did on a Friday night; Quidditch. Practice season had just begun and the teams were starting to shape up. Ron, still a die-hard Cannons fan, was certain they would win the cup this year. Harry was playing Seeker for Puddlemere and had found out long ago that it was best to ignore Ron's boisterous talk about the Cannons' unbeatable line-up. PU only came up in conversation when Ron relived old matches…usually the same select few that the Cannons had actually won.

Harry turned to Ginny and Hermione, hoping to join in on their conversation, but they were busy talking about the strides being made in Witches Equality, an issue that Hermione had taken up once she began work at the Ministry. As he didn't have much to say on the issue, he managed to finish off his drink very quickly, and laugh a bit at Ron's near-hooligan dedication to the orange and black.

When the waitress came by, the conversation shifted, and the group found themselves talking about music. This was always an interesting topic for the mixture of friends who had been raised in a variety of households; Ron and Ginny were raised completely in the Wizarding World, Harry and Hermione lived with Muggles until they went to Hogwarts, and Seamus was raised by a witch mother and Muggle father, so he knew both types of music fairly well. Hermione and Harry told stories about Muggle performers and famous Muggle songs, and Ginny and Ron did the same for Wizarding music. However, now that they all had a wireless, the music conversation typically revolved around Wizarding songs.

"Did you hear that new song by Orpheus?" Ginny asked as she leaned in to Hermione. Her eyes were lit up like a kid's in Honeyduke's.

"Orpheus?" Hermione asked. Her eyes darted around as she tried to recall the name. She shook her head. "I'm not sure, Gin. Which one is that?"

"Oh, Hermione! You have to know who Orpheus is…shoulder length dirty-blonde hair, deep blue eyes, always wears those tight dragon-hide trousers…." She sighed. "He's gorgeous."

"Umm, I can't say that I'm familiar with him," Hermione replied, smiling at Ginny's apparent crush on yet another celebrity as she stirred her drink. "But then again," she added, "I spend most of my life in the library, where they highly discourage the use of a wireless." She grinned. "What song does he sing?"

Ginny shook her head, obviously in a daze. "I can't believe you don't know who Orpheus is. I have got to get you out more often."

Ron snarled up his nose. "Orpheus? What kind of name is that? Sounds rather poncey to me." Seamus laughed and Ginny glared at the two of them. Harry had been around the Weasleys enough to tell where this conversation was going, and decided it was an opportune time to take a long swig of his drink.

"Actually," Hermione interceded, "Orpheus was a figure in Greek mythology. He was a great musician and poet. He could charm beasts and coax rocks and trees into movement with his enormous talent." Ron and Seamus couldn't help snickering at Hermione's choice of words, but she continued. "When his wife, Eurydice, was killed, he went down to the underworld and performed for Hades, who then agreed to let her return to the world of the living. But he was not allowed to look back at her before they reached the surface. Well, being a man, he did it anyway, and she was lost to the underworld forever. He landed up wandering the earth sad and alone, and died by literally being torn to pieces by the Maenads, a group of wild women who followed Dionysus."

Ron's jaw had dropped and he stared blankly at Hermione; Seamus looked like he had just come face-to-face with a Crumple-Horned Snorkack; and Ginny looked completely fascinated by what she had just learned. Harry laughed at the group of them. Hermione just shrugged and sipped on her drink.

"Right," said Ron, coming out of his stupor. "Anyway, I still think it's a silly name for a bloke. Figures Ginny'd go all soft for someone like that…'tight dragon-hide trousers,'" he said, shaking his head as he raised his glass to his lips.

"He happens to be a very talented singer," she retorted snidely.

"What did you say his song was called?" Hermione asked again, trying to delicately prevent a sibling war. She had also been around Ron and Ginny plenty enough to know where this discussion was heading.

"Umm…I can't remember the name of it, but it's something like, 'The only thing your eyes haven't told me is your name.'"

"Ohhh," Ron said with exaggeration. "He's such a great singer that you can't remember the name of his song." He rolled his eyes. "That sounds like a really bad pick-up line if you ask me."

Harry and Seamus laughed, and Hermione tried to hold back a smile for Ginny's sake.

"It does not!" Ginny scowled. "And I didn't ask you. Anyway, even if it was, it would work better than any line you ever used."

"Only if I was wearing dragon-hide trousers," Ron said ostentatiously, but the thought must have amused him, as the corners of his lips were beginning to twitch.

"Dragon-hide trousers wouldn't help you, even if you had the best pick-up line ever!"

Seamus laughed out loud, which caused Hermione and Harry to lose the restraint they had maintained on their laughter. Before long, all five friends were laughing…even Ron, who would normally have been a bit more defensive. But the three pints and two firewhisky shots he had consumed seemed to lower that reaction tonight.

"I don't think there's such a thing Ginny," Hermione said. "I've never even heard a good pick-up line, so how can there be a 'best' one?" Ginny nodded in agreement.

"That's not true!" Ron argued. "I know lots of good ones."

"Oh, is that so, Romeo?" asked Hermione, who smiled and leaned forward on the table.

"Who's Romeo?" Ron asked. Harry, Seamus and Hermione exchanged knowing smiles; wizards never studied Shakespeare, so naturally Ron wouldn't be familiar with the Muggle playwright's works.

"Nevermind. Anyway, if you know some good ones, let's hear them." The glint in her eye was the same one she always got when she knew she had done particularly well on an exam.

Ron suddenly realised that he had backed himself into a corner and cleared his throat uneasily. "Well, I…I can't remember them all just now." He took a large gulp of his drink, emptying the glass.

"That's fine," Hermione said as she waved a hand carelessly. "Just one or two will do. Just to prove your point, of course." Ginny, Harry and Seamus looked at each other with raised eyebrows. What started as a sibling squabble was turning into one of the now infamous 'Ron and Hermione Incidents'; this looked to be an interesting battle and the three didn't want to be caught in the crossfire.

Disclaimer: Harry Potter characters and universe copyrights belong to JK Rowling, Warner Brothers, Scholastic and Bloomsbury Publishers. This work is in no way earning money and is not meant to infringe on copyrights.