Unofficial Portkey Archive

Pub Night

By Tawny Spitfyre

Part Two: Wishes

Ron plucked up a bit of courage and sat up straight in his chair with his chest puffed out. "Alright. I thought this one was rather good. You'd use this one when you walked up to a girl at the bar." He cleared his throat again, and looked Hermione in the eyes. "Well, here I am," he smiled. "What were your other two wishes?"

Harry and Ginny groaned. Seamus laughed and patted Ron on the back. Hermione just rolled her eyes.

"Well, for one…I wish you'd thought of a better line than that!"

"What?" Ron asked defensively. He looked at Ginny and Harry for support, but they were shaking their heads with pity. "What was wrong with that? I thought it was pretty good!"

"It was horrible! No girl would actually fall for that," Hermione said reprovingly.

"They might!"

"Only if you had them under the Imperius! I hope you have a better one." Hermione crossed her arms and shot a challenging look at him.

"Alright, fine. Maybe that wasn't the best one," he glowered. Ron thought for a moment, smiled slyly, and then looked down at his watch. He looked back at Hermione and said, "My magic watch tells me that you're not wearing any knickers."

Hermione half smiled but looked quite taken aback. "Yes, I am!" Harry and Ginny looked at each other with mutual curiosity. They weren't sure where this was going but both listened with interest.

"Oh, I'm sorry," Ron said. He tapped the face of his watch and held his wrist up to his ear. "It must be an hour fast then."

The whole table broke out in laughter as Hermione gasped. "Ronald Weasley! You've never actually used that have you??"

He shrugged and smiled. "May have."

"The question is, 'Did it work?'" Seamus added, nudging Ron with his elbow. Harry held his hand over his mouth, trying to hide his laughter. He didn't want Hermione to think he was encouraging Ron.

Ron turned to Seamus, still smiling. He shrugged again and said, "May have."

After that, Harry couldn't hold it back anymore. The girls winced while the guys laughed hysterically. Ron smiled proudly. He motioned to the waitress, who came by and brought another round of drinks.

"That's a good one, mate," Seamus said, still laughing. "Here, I've got one." He took a few deep breaths to kill his laughter and leaned across the table to Ginny. He put on his most charming smile and said, "I'll bet you five sickles that I can kiss you without touching your lips."

"Oh, really?" she said sarcastically. She looked at Hermione, who shrugged, and then looked back at Seamus. "Right then; go on."

Seamus leaned over and lingered in front of Ginny's face for a few moments. His eyes closed, but hers remained suspiciously open, and she stared at his lips, which were just an inch in front of hers. Then in an instant he puckered his lips and kissed her, square on the mouth. She looked a bit shocked, and he laughed as he sat back in his seat. He reached in his pocket and pulled out five sickles, then dropped them on the table in front of her.

"You win," he grinned.

Harry and Hermione groaned. "That was a really bad one!" Ron was smiling though, and nodding his head as if to say, "I'll have to remember that one."

"That reminds me of another one," Ron said. He reached in his pocket and pulled out some money, then set it on the table by Hermione. "Here's three galleons," he said as he counted it out. "Buy yourself a few drinks. I'll be over there…" he pointed across the room. "Just come get me when you're ready to go home with me."

Harry and Seamus shared a smirk for a moment, and then burst into laughter.

"You should have given her six," Ginny laughed. "Three galleons worth of drinks will not make you snoggable!" Ron snarled up his nose and playfully hit her on the arm.

Hermione laughed as well, but was shaking her head in disbelief. "That's awful! I can't believe any girls would fall for any of those," she said as she handed the money back to Ron.

"Well, girls can use some that are just as bad. But the thing is, blokes almost always fall for them anyway!" Ginny grinned.

"Like what?" Hermione asked, seemingly appalled at the idea of a girl sinking to such low standards.

"Yeah, I've never had a girl use one on me," Ron added.

"Well, that's because they don't have to," Ginny said. "You just fall at their feet when they approach you." Ron glared but Ginny just turned to Seamus.

"Observe," she instructed the group. She leaned over the table and looked Seamus up and down, resting her chin on her hand. Then she smiled seductively. "Have you got your wand in your pocket, Seamus? Or are you just happy to see me?"

They all laughed. Seamus' cheeks were turning a bit pink, but he quickly replied, "No, that's definitely not my wand. You'd have known if it was…my wand's only 11 inches long."

Harry laughed so hard he almost tipped his seat over backwards. Ron had just taken a sip of his drink and had to cover his mouth to avoid spitting it across the table. Hermione and Ginny both looked completely shocked and expressed a mutual, "Ewwww!!" But they couldn't help laughing as well.

Ron raised his hand to silence them. "Hang on, hang on…how about this?" The group quieted and listened closely. He looked at Hermione and made his best attempt at a sexy face. "I just learned a new engorgement charm…want to go back to my place and try it out?"

"Ohhh, that's horrid!!" Ginny moaned. "Please tell me no one's fallen for that one."

"No, not yet…but I just thought it up," Ron said with a wink. Hermione rolled her eyes again and Ginny looked at her brother with disgust. "Well," he grumbled, "if you think mine are so bad, let's hear some more of your successful ones then."

"I don't use them," Ginny corrected him. "I just know some. But very well." She turned to Harry and leaned in a little closer. "So," she said, making eyes at Harry, "are you going to kiss me or do I have to lie to my diary tonight?"

Harry's eyes grew large and he could feel himself turning slightly pink this time. Ginny didn't have any problems getting dates, and that look in her eyes when she threw out these lines could melt almost any guy. She laughed, and he could see Hermione giggling quietly next to him.

"She got you with that one, mate," Seamus laughed and put a hand on his shoulder.

Harry nodded and smiled slightly. "I'll admit she's a little intimidating for such a small person. But for some reason the thought of Ginny keeping a diary makes me a little on edge," he said, looking at Ginny teasingly. She stuck her tongue out at him.

"How about you then, Harry?" Ron asked. "You get more attention from girls than the rest of us. You must have some good lines."

"No…I don't, actually," Harry said. But Ron clearly didn't believe him. "I don't go looking for girls!" Harry said in his own defense.

"Ohhhh, of course not!" Ron replied sarcastically. "You don't have to look for girls, do you, oh, famous Boy-Who-Lived?" He mocked bowing down to Harry, and Harry knew he was blushing this time.

"I didn't say that at all. But you know I don't go out with girls that often. Anyway, I'm not clever enough to pull off any of those lines."

"Maybe…maybe not," Ginny said, looking at him analytically. "Still, you must know some lines you could at least share."

Harry thought a moment and took a swig of his drink. "Alright, this one's pretty bad, but I didn't make it up!" He looked at Hermione and Ginny. "You can't get offended…."