Disclaimer: "Are You There, God? It's Me, Margaret" is a book by Judy Blume
and belongs to her and whomever else. It ain't mine.
A/N: Thanks to everyone who reviewed the last chapter! I was a bit surprised by the response to it... funnily
enough, I considered that chapter to be one of my so-so ones, but y'all liked it so that's all that matters,
eh? :)
glitterfairyxoxo - Hallowe'en is spelled that way in my story cause that's what my beta recommended and I liked it :)
shawnpickett - I promise you'll find out what the deal is with Arnie's family. Keyword there is "family", because it's not actually Arnie himself (or Will) who is integral.
danielerin - No promises on being gentle, though I'll try not to be too brutal? Arnie's family will play a role in the resolution of the plot, so your curiosity will be satisfied by the end :)
RickyElRey - You got your Em in this chapter! :)
romulus lupin - That was one of the most poignant reviews I've ever received! Thank you so much. And you hit the nail on the head, in regards to "the wonderful and engaging scenes of her family are, I fear, going to be the contrasting colors against which the darkness surrounding Em will play against." You said it, and beautifully too.
Thanks y'all for reviewing. I appreciate it very much!
Many thanks, as always, to the awesome Lissanne for the beta!
Chapter Fourteen - Mountain High, Valley Low
Emerson sat on the cold stone floor of the Astronomy Tower, leaning her throbbing head against the windowsill. The
waters of the lake, far below, glittered in the weak winter sun and she thought she saw something cause a ripple over
on the left bank. Probably the Giant Squid.
It was the first week of November and the weather was beginning to turn. Actually, it had begun turning just before Hallowe'en, when they would frequently wake up to find the whole school and grounds covered in frost like an enormous iced gingerbread village.
Hallowe'en had been all right; nothing really special or anything. It definitely sounded like her brothers and sister had had a better one than she had, and she didn't know whether to be relieved or envious. These days, it was almost as if she was losing track of who she herself was. Most days she couldn't tell if she was coming or going and was that up or down? She found herself snapping at people and red-facedly apologizing later, not unlike what had happened with her father on Mum's birthday weekend. She had wanted to tell him so badly but something had held her back and she'd been both relieved and disappointed that he hadn't forced her to confess what was bothering her.
She had been expecting her parents to badger her about her decision, like almost everyone at school had, but when they didn't, she'd somehow not been surprised.
'They think too highly of me,' she thought. 'It would never occur to them what I'm going through or what I've done.'
Em sighed and closed her eyes. One thing they didn't know was that she'd begun skipping classes, neglecting homework. Right now, she was supposed to be in History of Magic. She'd told Lyna that she would meet her there but halfway to the classroom had suddenly realized that there was no way she could bear to sit through another droning hour about centuries-old goblin rebellions.
In fact, there was no way she could stand to be around people, period.
Lyna was the exception, of course, but she didn't want her friend to get into trouble if they were to be caught outside of class during lessons. Emerson found that she didn't care if she got into trouble, but it wouldn't be fair to bring Lyna down too. Her friend deserved better than that. Her friend who now kept throwing her concerned glances, who Em knew fervently wished she would listen and tell someone about the letters.
In fact, Lyna had twice attempted to approach a teacher, and had gone so far as to start a letter to Em's parents. Only Emerson's hysterical tears and frantic pleading had made her friend back off, but she didn't know how much longer Lyna would keep quiet.
Em was alternately blindingly furious at and overcome with gratitude for her friend but, obviously, Carolyna didn't understand, not really. Among other things, it wasn't her brothers and sister hanging in the balance, depending on her keeping quiet.
Knowing that when she next saw her friend she would doubtless receive a scolding about missing the lesson, Emerson sighed again. Her eyes were drawn to the waving banners surrounding the Quidditch pitch, and with them came the reminder of why this day sucked so much more than most days now usually did.
It was the day before the first Quidditch match of the term - Gryffindor versus Ravenclaw - and Em was miserable. She'd been looking forward to it so much! Her whole life, really, ever since her Dad and Uncle Ron had told her about playing Quidditch for Gryffindor, with Mum rolling her eyes in the background.
And her dream had been hatched. She would be a Chaser for Gryffindor as soon as she could try out, which meant second year. Which was this year. She was a good flyer, even Uncle Draco admitted that; getting on the team was almost a given.
Until-
She wiped the tears from her cheeks, feeling the horror welling up inside her again. As much as it hurt, she deserved this. She had no right to want to be a Chaser when it was because of her that another person, and an excellent Chaser too at that, had lost her life. She knew she deserved this but oh, the disappointment was so bitter she could almost taste it on the back of her tongue.
Em shifted on the cold floor, biting her bottom lip hard to keep from sobbing. She took a deep breath and started to sniffle but froze as she heard someone walking past. She held her breath, praying that whomever it was would just keep going but, as usual these days, her prayers were ignored. The footsteps paused and came back towards her and Emerson hastily wiped her eyes and nose. If she was going to be in trouble, the least she could do was face it with dignity.
The door creaked open but she didn't move, sitting tensely, the Quidditch banners fluttering mockingly in her field of vision.
"Hey, what're you doing out of class?" a male voice asked sharply.
She recognized the voice and turned around. "Hi, Etienne."
The Head Boy looked surprised. "Emerson? Why aren't you in class?"
Em shrugged shamefacedly. "Didn't feel like going. You gonna report me?"
She saw a flash of mirth in his intense blue eyes and was awed again by how gorgeous he was. But she was so miserable that she couldn't even muster up her customary blush.
"Not this time. But don't let it happen again or I'll have to come down harshly. And I expect you to be in your next class, understand?" Etienne was saying.
She nodded. "I am much obliged to you."
He grinned but it faded when she didn't smile back. "Are you okay?"
"Oh, I'm fine!" she replied with false brightness. "Absolutely fabulous."
He frowned, obviously seeing through her and Em turned away, suddenly wanting to cry again. Wonderful. Now even my crush knows I'm in some sort of excrement.
She could feel him staring at her back for a second before he spoke. "I have to go but remember what I said. And Emerson?" She rapidly blinked back her tears and looked up. His eyes were earnest. "If you ever need someone to talk to, I'm here."
She managed a weak but genuine smile, even as she knew she could never talk to him, not about this. "Thanks, Etienne."
He nodded once, closed the door and she listened to his footsteps fade away. Em took a deep, shuddering breath and laid her head back against the windowsill. Not wanting to think anymore, she let herself be quickly hypnotized by the sunlight dancing across the surface of the lake and only got up when the bell, signaling the end of that period, finally rang.
*******
Gryffindor won the match and the celebrations lasted late into the night so that the next day, Sunday, most of them were drowsy and slow. Emerson was in a bad mood because not only had she gotten a letter that day, but Brandon Wood, being the exception to the "drowsy and slow" rule, kept harassing her in his jubilation about his successful Keeping.
"I mean, with reflexes like these, you would never fall, Em. I'd catch you every time," he said grinning, as he walked alongside the two girls who were returning to Gryffindor Tower to work on a Transfiguration assignment. Marissa Weasley had also walked with them a short way, which had seemed to cause Brandon to really turn on the charm. Or what he considered to be charm, anyway.
Emerson rolled her eyes. "That's what you wish, Brandon."
"What! Don't tell me you don't wish for that too!" he exclaimed, pretending to be offended and Lyna giggled.
Em glared at her. "Take his side, why don't you?"
"Come on, admit it! He's funny," Lyna said with a laugh and Emerson huffed and marched away down the corridor, leaving her friend and Brandon grinning after her.
Yes, he was funny, but right now she didn't want to be smiling, laughing or anything resembling those things. She was too miserable for that and she wanted to remain miserable. Didn't she deserve to be miserable?
"Congratulations, Smiley. Your efforts to fuck with my life are succeeding," she muttered crossly, starting down the hallway to Gryffindor Tower.
"Hey, Emerson!" came a shout from behind her and she turned to see Will Shriver jogging towards her, with two other first years in tow. Somehow the sight made her unable to resist cracking a wan smile. From being alone and near tears in the Hogwarts Express corridor, Will had inevitably made friends in his year but he hadn't forgotten the first two people to befriend him.
"Hey, Will," she said when they reached her. "What's up?"
He shrugged, grinning. "Nothing much. Mitch, Zach and I were just talking about yesterday's game. Was it bloody awesome or what?"
She smiled at his enthusiasm; it reminded her of Ben. "It was that. Your first match ever, wasn't it?"
Will nodded, his blue eyes alight. "I wish my little brothers could've seen that! Mum said they might've tried to come down but the twins were sick again. As usual."
"Sounds like they're always sick. How old are they?" Em asked, frowning.
Will's brow furrowed as he pondered the question. "They'll be two in January."
Em nodded and turned to the other boys, who were silently taking in the conversation. "How about you, Mitch? Zach? Was it your first Quidditch match too?"
The younger boys went crimson and although they mouthed, no words came out. Em glanced quizzically at Will, who was looking delighted. "They fancy you," he said in a loud whisper and the other two boys went even redder.
"Oh," Em blurted, completely nonplussed. What on earth was there to fancy about her? Sure there was Brandon, but he just acted like that to annoy her. He didn't really fancy her. She smiled sympathetically at the two first years, as if they had just been terribly hoodwinked about something. "Trust me, there's absolutely no reason to fancy me."
"Right," the one named Zach muttered dubiously, his brown eyes wide.
Emerson exchanged an amused look with Will just as Carolyna came running up, brown hair swinging about her shoulders. Not wanting her friend to know about the first years' behavior towards her, Em quickly hooked elbows with Lyna and led her away. "See you around, fellas!"
She couldn't help feeling a little better. How could she, even if those poor little boys were clearly misguided? A slight smile tugged at her lips but the fledging upturn of her mouth collapsed when she and Lyna entered Gryffindor Tower to see Jerrianne and the Fakers huddled together, deep in conversation. Or rather, Jerrianne was jabbering away while Janie and Maria hung onto her every word as if they would be quizzed about them later. Which Em wouldn't be at all surprised if they were. Jerrianne honestly was that arrogant.
Janie glanced around and her light blue eyes narrowed when she saw Em and Lyna. "Oh," she said, the single word coated with so much disdain that Em almost expected to see some splattering onto the floor.
The other two girls looked up and Jerrianne stopped talking abruptly. She gave Em and Lyna a haughty once-over and stood up. "Come on. Let's finish this upstairs."
Janie and Maria jumped up too and the three of them pranced across the room towards Em and Lyna, whom they would have to pass to get upstairs.
Emerson scowled. "Thank God for small mercies, eh?" she said loudly as they approached. "Cause now we won't have to listen to your drivel." She held and returned the glares that the three girls gave her, her eyes following them all the way up the stairs.
Once they had disappeared, Em walked over to a chair and flopped down, her bad mood returning full force.
Lyna sat down across from her and curled her legs under her. "What do you think they talk about, anyway?"
"Who cares?" Em said irritably, glaring at the stairs to the dorms. "Maybe they sit around going, 'We must, we must, we must increase our bust!' like the girls in Are You There, God? It's Me, Margaret."
Lyna burst out laughing so hard that she drooled, which made Em crack up in spite of herself. She did love making her friend laugh and she leaned back in her chair, grinning as she listened to Carolyna's sounds of merriment.
"That was a good book," Lyna said after awhile, wiping her eyes . "Do you think that'd work, though?"
It was Em's turn to laugh but then it died when she glanced at her friend. "What? You're serious?"
"I guess."
"Come on! That's just fiction, you know that. And not only that, but it's Muggle fiction."
Lyna frowned. "I don't know. I mean, when Annamaria was our age, she was already on her second bra size."
Em shrugged. "So? Everybody grows at different rates. Heck, at least you have stuff enough to justify a bra in the first place. My chest is even flatter than yours." She paused and looked over at Lyna with a smirk. "If that's at all possible."
"Hey!" Lyna said loudly, grabbing a cushion and whomping Em with it.
Em grabbed another cushion and the fight was on, while the other people in the room smiled over at them. They were both laughing too much to keep it up for long, though, and Em sighed and collapsed back in her chair.
"I'm really glad we're friends, Em," Lyna said softly, grinning over at her.
Em smiled back. "Pukka gen," she replied, using that old RAF term that she'd picked up from Grandpa Granger, making Lyna giggle again. "Me too, luv."
And as they gathered their Transfiguration books and parchments around them to tackle the assignment, Emerson couldn't help thinking that maybe her life wasn't as fucked up as she'd previously thought.
At any rate, not yet.
*******
She was in the London area now, at her ultra-posh flat in Notting Hill. Her asshole boss had just passed out on her pull-out couch after the dinner party she'd "graciously" thrown for him and a few clients. He'd told the departing guests that he was staying to help clean up but she had seen that certain gleam in his eye and knew that cleaning up was the last thing on his mind.
Not that he would ever deign to do something as ordinary as "cleaning up" in the first place.
But she'd found herself not in the mood for any such activity so she'd sneakily put some Sleeping Draught in his red wine - the fact that he'd brought a bottle of that stuff into her house after she specifically told him that she didn't touch red wine was another strike against him.
And anyway, she had work to do.
A friend of a friend of a friend who worked at Hogwarts had inadvertently passed on an interesting piece of information about Emerson Potter. Apparently, Emerson was rarely away from the company of a girl named Carolyna Lupin. In fact, Cristella vaguely recalled meeting the Lupin girl in Dallas, but she'd been too shaken by the presence of Emerson to really register her. From what her friend told her, the two girls had been best friends since they were five years old or thereabouts.
"Déjà vu or what?" she wondered aloud to her reflection in the bathroom mirror. "This is Julia and Merry all over again, bosom buddies since the age of six."
Splitting up those two girls had been, without a doubt, one of the sweetest rewards of her secret war against Julia Thomas. Could she do it again with Julia's reincarnation? Probably. This pair of girls was even younger than Julia and Merry had been during their falling out. It shouldn't be that hard.
The problem was that she didn't have access to these two in the way she had had with the first pair. It was purely by chance that the Transfiguration Professor had been fondly discussing her students to a friend. That friend had then innocently brought it up to her friend and the information had come out when Cristella had skillfully brought the conversation around to the discussion of Harry Potter and his family.
Her friend disliked Potter and his wife tremendously. Apparently, they'd all been at school together, though in different houses and no love and been lost between them. Her friend never ran out of nasty things to say about the Potters, but Cristella honestly could care less about that. She was interested in Emerson.
She probably wouldn't be able to touch Carolyna, from any angle, though she'd recently learned that the girl's father was a werewolf. But if she could get Emerson to start changing her mind about the friendship...
Julia had been devastated to the point of almost requiring hospitalization over her falling out with Merry Reynolds. As far as she was concerned, Emerson was Julia all over again, so why would the reaction be any different over a splitting from this Carolyna Lupin?
Hmm.. something new to undertake. Something else to tackle. If it would hasten the demise of this thorn in her flesh, who was she to ignore what fate had generously offered her: an additional tactic?
She would put it to use. As soon as possible.