Unofficial Portkey Archive

August 25

Dear Diary,

I'm writing this back home at Ballynore. We all returned the day before yesterday, but I was just too tired to write. Don't worry, though, I have lots of stuff stored up to scribble down!

Oh my gosh, Jamaica was such a blast! It was definitely one of the best holidays we've taken so far, and it was made even better by the fact that some of our extended family went with us. Uncle Ron and Aunt Luna, Uncle Draco and Aunt Ginny, Uncle Remus and Aunt Tonks. And all their collated offspring, of course. It was a whole bunch of us, and as was to be expected, the only time it was really quiet was when the younger kids were asleep.

We were there for more than a month, and we stayed in a town called Runaway Bay on the north coast of the island. It's a bit outside of the whole tourist mecca thing, while still being a rather upscale town. It was so absolutely gorgeous there! The weather was perfect, all those sea breezes, white sand beaches, gorgeous blue water. If you needed to be told that you were in paradise while breathing the rich scent of the sea as the waves lapped at your feet and the sun caressed your skin, you would have to be the most utterly daft person in the history of civilization.

Mum and Dad decided not to rent lodgings at any of the big, posh chain resorts, opting instead for a small family-owned bed and breakfast-type inn. It was just the owner, his wife and son, as well as the people that they employed. Which made for a much more personal environment and I think we all had a better experience for it. The younger kids, for example, became good friends with the children of the employees -- which is something that would never have happened if we'd stayed at one of the uber-swanky hotels. And the Jordmundts (that's the name of the owners of the inn) didn't suffer any either, since my parents, aunts and uncles rented the entire property for the whole of our visit.

But we didn't stay confined to Runaway Bay. Mum and Dad (but especially Mum) have always insisted that whenever we go to another country, we must always go a bit off the beaten path, so to speak. This time was no different, and they insisted that we get to really experience Jamaica and not just the neat and pretty packages that tourists are offered. All the other adults, except for Uncle Ron and Aunt Luna, begged to differ. I heard Aunt Ginny say she just wanted to laze about in the sun all day and sip rum punches, thank you very much. And then Aunt Luna, though she'd wanted to come, ended up staying behind at the inn too because of baby April; it would've been rather difficult to be traipsing all over a strange country with a four-month-old infant, anyway.

So the "Off the Beaten Path" expedition consisted of Mum and Dad, Uncle Ron, me and my brothers and sister, Uncle Draco's kids, Uncle Ron's two boys, Lyna (her sister, Annamaria, disdainfully stayed behind at the inn with the "other" grown-ups) and the Shriver boys. Yes, Will and Arnie were with us in Jamaica, but more about them later. Oh, and Mrs. Jordmundt and her son. She was our island guide, and she was pretty knowledgeable about her subject. They're Muggles so it was kinda hard to remember not to talk about wands and Quidditch and all that stuff, and Mum and Dad had to keep casting Obscuring charms when they needed to do magic. For that reason, it was probably for the best that Aunt Luna didn't come with us, in hindsight.

I won't be writing about absolutely everything we did in Jamaica but, among other things, we went hiking in the Blue Mountains - the highest mountains on the island - and in the Cockpit Country. The Cockpit Country was so weird, all that illusion of rolling hills, but it's actually a really extensive system of limestone caves. It would be very scary, not to mention dangerous, to get lost in them if you don't know your way around.

We went to the Blue Lagoon, a gorgeous, sheltered white sand beach with waters that are perfect for swimming. I think the people who named the spot just threw their hands up in defeat and randomly picked the color "blue" to describe the lagoon. There are so many adjectives you could use to describe the water: azure, jade green, bottle green, sky blue; it just depends on how you look at it. The water had a cool top layer with the warmer water beneath and was absolutely heaven to swim in. According to the locals, it has aphrodisiacal powers, though I wouldn't know anything about that, of course. And as to whether or not my parents might know, I am so not going there. Though I can't see why they would need it. They can barely keep their hands off each other as it is. It's quite mortifying really.

We went rafting on the Rio Grande river, which cuts through the countryside, and it was so relaxing. The rafts were made up of ten or so bamboo logs bound together, and most of them were decorated with flowers and things. The guides used the currents of the river to move the rafts and a long pole for pushing off the bottom and for steering. Our guide was very knowledgeable; he just kept up a running narrative about the area and the history. According to him, the whole rafting thing became an attraction because of Errol Flynn, who was some famous Muggle movie star.

He also taught us kids a little ditty, which Budget still yells out sometimes, and frankly, it's starting to drive me a little nuts. ("I was rafting on the Rio Grande, oh, oh, oh, ho! Me and my Uncle Benjy, oh, oh, oh, ho! Bumped into a big rock stone and the raft turned over, oh, oh, oh, ho!"). Thankfully, nobody's raft turned over, though we all swam in the water and afterwards, had a picnic lunch on the riverbank.

But I think my favorite place was definitely the Dunn's River Falls and Dolphin Cove. Oh my gosh. It was beautiful, awe-inspiring and loud. All that white water thundering down the 600-foot rocks, fringed on either side by lush vegetation and tropical flowers. I'd have been content to never leave. Lyna and I climbed the Falls at least three times each and it was just awesome -- the water was so clear and powerful. And oh, did I mention that it was loud?

And Dolphin Cove, you actually swim with dolphins, who were so cute and friendly. Vina was in heaven; she cried when we had to leave.

On a more personal note, I think the most emotional part of my visit to Jamaica was meeting my extended family on Julia's side. Her father, my grandfather, Herb Thomas, is Jamaican and before we left on the trip, Dad asked him for information on where they lived and if it would be all right if we visited them. My parents thought that, especially after what had happened with Cristella, I needed to meet them and I agreed. So we went to the town of Mandeville, in the center of the island, where most of them live. For a change, it's not very near any bodies of water; just a cool, vaguely British town. The dirt there is the color of dried blood, and rich with something called bauxite. That's what Ben said anyway, and I'm pretty sure he knows what he's talking about.

But we met some of my blood relatives, and it was such an emotional experience. They were so nice and warm. I cried and they all took turns hugging me, telling me I was so pretty and exclaiming over my eyes with their gorgeous accents. At their insistence, we stayed with them for a few days and it was truly one of the best experiences of my life. I learned a lot about myself and my heritage. And oh boy, did I get a lot of vocal practice - they kept asking me to sing. When we left, everybody was in tears and they said that all of us are welcome to return at any time.

Of course, with all that traveling, we got to see Jamaica as it really is -- all its glorious and not so glorious aspects. It was truly a learning experience and even more so because I was with my family.

I love them so much. If I've learned anything this year, it's that I'm incredibly lucky to have them, to have such amazing parents and siblings. I've learned that we're stronger together than apart and that I never need to carry such a burden alone again.

Thank God that particular burden is gone. Cristella Montgomery is in an American equivalent of St. Mungo's, in the Psychiatric Ward, and I don't think she will ever be let out. Before they moved her back to the States, my parents finally allowed me to see her, and it's amazing how different she is now from the woman I met in Dallas. She's just completely broken, and not just in appearance. It was like she couldn't even lift her head to look at me. I felt so sorry for her. She obviously never had the type of love that Julia and I received from our families and it has warped her for life. Maybe it's because I've forgiven her, as I told her in my letter, that I can feel sympathy towards her now. I don't know what will become of her, but at least she can never hurt me or my family again.

But, argh! Enough of the depressive stuff! I'm not quite done with Jamaica. So, anyway, after our long excursion through the island, we returned to Runaway Bay to enjoy the rest of our holiday. That meant lazing about on the beach for hours, and all manner of water-related activities. Needless to say, I'm currently as brown as an acorn and even Lyna managed to tan a bit, after the first few sunburns. It pays to be the daughter of Harry Potter, because we had the entire beach property to ourselves. Mr. Jordmundt took us out on a glass-bottomed boat a few times. We went snorkeling many times and once, Lyna got stung by a jellyfish. Mum healed it with a tap of her wand within seconds, though.

Speaking of Lyna... I am so happy that we're friends. I'd have been lost without her this year; she is such a wonderful friend and person. I'd probably have gone further into Hell this year if she had not been beside me holding me back. I'm so lucky to have been the one to snatch her up for my best friend, cause I know if it hadn't been me, somebody else would have. Then I might've ended up like poor Maria Ingalls and be stuck with hags like Jerrianne and Janie.

At least Maria will probably be doing a little better next year. I don't know if I already wrote about it, but I'd gone up to her late last term and tried to talk to her. I just felt like I should reach out, because it was totally appalling the way she was letting Jerrianne and Janie treat her! Like she were some kind of second-class citizen or something. It made me so mad, at all three of them. Now that I think about it, it probably wasn't the best idea to approach her while she was standing with the Ice Bitches because she adopted this totally disdainful attitude with me. It pissed me off and in my mind, I decided, to hell with her. But then later that same day, when I was out on the Quidditch pitch watching the Gryffindor team practice, lo and behold, Maria came up to me by herself and asked if she could talk to me.

I think I said something like, "Really? Are you sure having a civil conversation with me won't lower your bride price or something?" I was immediately sorry because of the way Maria flushed and she looked on the verge of tears all of a sudden. She said something like "Fine" and turned around to go, but I called out to her and said I was sorry. She said she was the one who should apologize, that she didn't mean to act that way, but Jerrianne and Janie were so blah, blah, blah. I was getting mad again cause I hate when people can't take responsibility for themselves. I asked her if Jerrianne and Janie had been forcing her to act the way she did and she blushed again and said that no, of course they hadn't.

Anyway, we talked for a bit and she said that she was not going to hang around with Jerrianne and Janie anymore and that she hoped we could be friends. I told her that I would like that, but that she would have to really be herself cause I don't want some brainless ewe just following me around. She laughed, which I hadn't been expecting, and said that she must have looked pretty stupid, hadn't she? And I confirmed that yes, she had. She's actually pretty funny, which I never would have guessed before.

So we'll see what happens there when we all go back to school. In a week's time, Lyna and I will be third years at Hogwarts. Imagine that! I'm just hoping it will be better than last year was. But I imagine anything is better than being psychologically terrorized into hating yourself. Cause at the end of the day, you still are stuck with yourself while whatever outside problems you might have will and do go away.

Don't worry, I don't hate myself. I was just so confused and guilty about something that wasn't even my fault. I'm happy to be alive and I'll be forever grateful to Julia Thomas for the choice and sacrifice that she made. She wanted me to live, and didn't resent me that that meant she would die. And together with what I learned about myself through my family in Jamaica... I could never hate myself, not with all these people loving me the way they do. Julia wanted me to live and I am going to. To do anything less is to make a mockery and a waste of her sacrifice.

Speaking of living, though, guess what? While in Jamaica, I got my first kiss! And no, it wasn't with Etienne. While I do still think he's gorgeous enough to be illegal, a part of me would be going "Eww!" if something like that were to happen between me and him. He's been so much like a big brother to me. Besides, he wasn't in Jamaica with us. He and his sister, Amelié, were in France visiting their Mum's Veela relatives.

Anyway, the boy who kissed me is named Taylor Jordmundt. He's the son of Mr. and Mrs. Jordmundt, who owned the inn we stayed at. The family is from New Hampshire in America, but they've been living in Jamaica since Taylor was six, so he speaks with a Jamaican accent and everything. He's fourteen and so cute! He has sun-bleached blond hair, a permanent tan and gorgeous blue eyes -- utterly dreamy-looking! And so nice. He took me, Lyna, Will, Ben, Andy Wood and Arnie to a little waterfall he discovered in the forest bordering their property. He said he hadn't shown it to anybody but his parents before. It was very pretty too.

But Taylor was just really nice to me. Lyna said she thought he liked me, but I didn't know what to think. The only bloke near my age that I've been around much is Brandon Wood, and he got on my nerves for the longest time until this year when we had that conversation. Now I know where we stand and I might've asked him what he thought. But he and his Dad had gone on some kind of bonding trip (which probably involved a lot of Quidditch, I'm sure) and didn't come with us to Jamaica. Only Andy did.

All I knew was that Taylor and I talked a lot and he made me laugh. He'd gone with us on that "Off The Beaten Path" excursion and was almost as full of information as his Mum was. A few days before we left, we were just sitting outside on the beach around twilight. I don't know how it came to be that nobody else was around but it was just the two of us out there. For some reason, I don't know why I did it, but I just leaned over and pecked him on the cheek. And then I was mortified! It was a good thing it was getting dark cause I'm sure my face was flaming. Luckily, for my pride anyway, after a few seconds in which he just stared at me in shock, Taylor leaned over and returned the gesture. He didn't pull all the way back so our faces were really close and I could feel his breath warm against my cheek. We just moved forward and our lips met. It was very nice; there were no fireworks or tingles down my spine or anything like some books are always going on about. It was just really nice. His lips were so soft and he tasted like peppermint sweets.

We said good night and I ran inside. My heart was pounding and I told Lyna as soon as I could get her alone. We squealed and giggled about it for hours, just as we had when Davis Chapman in Ravenclaw had kissed Lyna just before last term ended. I'd been a little jealous that Lyna got her first kiss before I did, but she'd been so excited that I couldn't help but be ecstatic too. I know Lyna has liked Davis since the first time she saw him aboard the Hogwarts Express in our first year.

I was a little worried that things would be weird between me and Taylor the next day. But other than that we both blushed when we first saw each other, everything was fine. He kissed me on a few more occasions before we left Jamaica and he said he would miss me, and that I should write to him. I said I would, but now I'm not so sure. Maybe once or twice, that's all. He probably meets loads of girls every summer and if he's half as nice to them as he was to me, they'll want to kiss him too. Of course, those blue eyes don't hurt his chances any.

Oh, yes. Another first happened in Jamaica - my first period. Mum got all teary-eyed, hugging me and talking about how I was now a "physically mature woman". I'm not so sure about that. I mean, how can I be a physically mature woman when I don't have any boobs? Okay, maybe I do have a little but they barely deserve the title and I honestly despair of ever having anything worthy of being called cleavage. But I guess there's really no point in obsessing about them, is there? You know what they say about watched pots... maybe the same goes for breasts.

Anyway, in that same "physically mature woman" conversation, Mum told me that she knew about me and Taylor! No, I didn't tell her; I was going to eventually. But she said she saw us that first time. I was so embarrassed! But on the bright side, at least it wasn't Dad. He doesn't know and Mum promised that she won't tell him until I'm ready to. Which will likely be never, because he'll probably get mad or something. Dad was always watching the boys who talked to me in Jamaica, looking all suspicious, and if they stood too close to me (like less than ten feet, for God's sake) he would clear his throat loudly and scare them with his eyes. I don't think he likes that boys like me, which I guess is normal father behavior where daughters are concerned. It just gets a bit annoying after a while.

He needn't worry, though. Mum and I had a long, frank talk about that stuff and I don't think I'm ready for a boyfriend or anything like that yet. I won't deny that a part of me can't help but be flattered but I already know who I am. I don't need anybody else to define me, least of all a bloke. I just want to surround myself with my friends, be a good student and hopefully land a reserve spot on the Gryffindor Quidditch team next term. And I won't let anything deter me this time!

My brother, Ben, just yelled up the stairs that Dad says if I don't come eat breakfast in the very near future, he's going to chuck it in the rubbish bin. But I can't stop writing now; the words are just flowing. And speaking of Ben, he is so awesome. I know it's weird for a big sister to say that about her little brother. I'm supposed to be griping about what a royal pain in the arse he is and stuff like that. And of course there are the times when I want to strangle him. But overall, he's a great kid and I'm glad he's my brother.

It used to be him and Andy Wood together like a Permanent Sticking Charm had been placed on them, but now little Arnie Shriver is always with them, too. Isn't it strange how the same year Lyna and I befriended Will Shriver, Ben and Andy befriended Arnie? It seems rather unreal how everything worked out, with Will and Arnie's Mum turning out to be the long-lost cousin of Cristella Montgomery, who was the woman harassing me. The Shrivers were under a lot of financial strain, but now they'll likely never have to worry again. That's another good thing that's come out of this whole mess, for which I'm glad.

But back to Ben - he made me proud this year. Ben doesn't like confrontation. He's an observer by nature, content to sit back and watch, in most cases, and let others be the participants or contestants or whatever. But the other kids have always gravitated towards him. And when he gets up to do something, they just let him lead. He's a natural leader, which I guess is not surprising, seeing as to who his parents are. Little girls adore him for some reason, to Ben's eternal irritation. I tease him about it sometimes; he doesn't like it now but wait till he starts noticing them back. Then he'll probably be basking in the attention. He's going to be a good-looking one, but you're not gonna hear me saying that to his face or anything.

But this year, Ben saw something wrong going on and he didn't care if he got hurt by getting involved. And he did get hurt, but he kicked arse a lot more than his arse was kicked, from what I hear. Go, Ben!

The three boys were inseparable in Jamaica and they had fun. They gave Mum quite a fright once by swimming more than a mile out to sea. She made them stay inside for the remainder of that day while the rest of us went into town. Budget kept raving about what we'd seen and done until Ben finally snapped at him to shut his trap. Budget asked what a trap was, and everybody laughed, even Ben.

Today is Budget's sixth birthday, and he's as rambunctious as ever. I predict that it'll be another month or less before he breaks another bone. In Jamaica, he climbed the Dunn's River Falls even though Mum told him not to. He was too young and could have fallen and hurt himself; those Falls aren't for little kids. But he scrambled up them like a monkey anyway, only to meet Mum at the top. Suffice it to say, Luke was not the happiest little boy in the bunch for the rest of that day. Let me just say that it is a mistake to get on Mum's bad side. I hear she slapped the shit out of Uncle Draco once, back when they were at Hogwarts and before they befriended him. And let's not forget how she handled Cristella, shall we?

Blimey, this is a long entry! My hand is beginning to cramp up, so I think I'll stop writing now. Plus, I don't want Dad to chuck my breakfast; I'm famished. I'll try not to go too long without another update.