Chapter 16
"The Temptation of Harry"
At least two Death Eaters had handled Harry by the arms as they marched towards Xanthius. Harry was blindfolded, and initially he tried to count how many footsteps it took for him to get to where they were bringing him, but along the way he'd lost count and gave up. That was an hour ago, he reckoned. He felt there were more than a dozen people in the group, though he couldn't really tell because none of them had talked from the hollow. He also didn't know where Ginny is but he was willing to bet one of the Death Eaters may be carrying her. He couldn't be sure if he'd be happy to know if they left her alone from where they came from. This place, wherever they were, was a very dangerous place for a fourteen-year-old girl especially if she was alone.
Protesting to his captors didn't do any good. They weren't answering. They were probably walking on a road, he thought, because he never felt grass as he walked blindly, just dirt. Soon, Harry could feel they were going down slope and he'd stepped on something wooden. He could hear water rushing underneath him - he reckoned they were in a castle somewhere, or maybe on a bridge. The Death Eater in front of him yelled, "Open the gate!"
There was a creaking sound, just like a drawbridge made. He was now sure to be near a castle, but whose castle, he didn't know. He felt very chilly, just like the feeling he had years ago in the presence of a Dementor. If they were around, then this may be really Voldemort's. He felt suddenly depressed as he moved on, and he was certain he was passing by them. Then the temperature seemed to have gotten warmer as he was led deeper into something cavernous. The sounds they made echoed around endlessly and he could smell burnt torches until finally he heard locks being released; he was thrown on the cold damp floor pretty hard and he heard the door slamming.
"Harry? Ginny!" said a voice they instantly recognized as Ron's.
"Ron!" Harry said, and he quickly removed his blindfold; it took a little while for his eyes to adjust to the torchlight.
"Harry, it's so good to see you," said Ron while he helped Harry to sit up on the floor despite his injuries, "But I wish you hadn't come for me - I'm not worth it." Ron then moved towards Ginny, who was still motionless on the floor, and lifted her head to rest on his thigh.
"Hermione and I decided we had to come for you," Harry said, and he paused when he remembered Hermione.
"I saw You-Know-Who tonight," said Ron, shuddering. "He didn't do anything to me, but the mere sight of him was torture enough. We're in a castle he calls 'Xanthius'."
"So this is Xanthius," Harry said, looking around. "It doesn't look too hospitable, though."
"What happened to Ginny?"
"She's out," said Harry as he looked at her. "Stunned."
Ron shook his head. "Why did she ever have to come with you?"
"I'm sorry, Ron, but she insisted," Harry sighed and tightened his lips. "She felt responsible for putting your life in danger. I refused at first, but she's very clever and she gave me no choice."
"I'll have a word with her when she wakes up." Ron fell silent for a second, like he hesitated to ask his next question. "Harry, I heard one of the Death Eaters seeing one of you being eaten by a dragon. I didn't want to believe it, but did somebody else go with you aside from Ginny?"
Harry's face fell deeper even if it had been already at its lowest point. The memory of Hermione being held by that dragon was too much to bear - but worse, eaten? No words seemed to come out of his mouth even if he tried to start telling Ron about it. He didn't know where to start, or if he did, could he finish telling without breaking down again in grief?
"You allright, Harry?" said Ron, increasingly getting nervous. "I've been thinking about it a lot after I heard about it. I thought it was - it was - could it be - "
Harry still couldn't talk, and he wished Ron had the courage to say the name. He couldn't say "yes" to him yet, because he had no idea whom Ron thought it was.
"C-could it be - Hermione?" Ron grunted, now dreading an answer.
Harry's tears fell before he could nod to him, and Ron knew his silence was a sign of confirmation. Ron shook his head, his breath broke into sobs, and they both embraced. Harry pounded his knuckles at Ron's back a few times to keep his friend strong in his grief. "Let it out, Ron - " Harry choked, and Ron howled against Harry's jumper at the shoulder, wetting it with tears and more.
But Ron didn't take long to break away from Harry. In fact he pushed himself off and seemed to go into a collision course on the wall. Harry suspected Ron wanted to hurt himself by pounding his fists on the wall, like he would have done if it were him, but only that he heard groans of pain.
"HERMIONE'S DEAD BECAUSE OF YOU - YOU EVIL BASTARD!" Ron screamed while punching something - or someone - within the same cell. Harry could not tell who Ron was hurting because he was in a dark corner.
"Ron, who's that you're talking to?" Harry said as he stood up and approached the spot where Ron disappeared. He heard more fists meeting more flesh, and whoever was at the wrong end may be hurting real bad because he was groaning. More sounds of knuckles hit their marks were made deep in the dark. But Ron soon flew backwards and landed hard on his bottom side, like someone had pushed him.
Ron was getting real wild. He looked deranged by his face and Harry had to restrain him; he went behind Ron, grabbed him and pulled him back. Ron made furious swings with his fists in mid-air, then Harry saw who he was fighting. Jack Chadron emerged from the shadows, his lip bleeding, eyes closed by beating, and his left face bloated and blue - and with a missing leg. It looked like Ron had worked on him already before this. Chadron didn't look angry, but he had a pleading look on his face to try to calm Ron down.
When he saw Chadron, Harry's vision suddenly turned darker. He didn't realize it until a split second later that he had thrown Ron back behind him and he got to about a foot away in front of Chadron, lunging at his chest and pushing his whole weight against him. They fell together, Harry forward and Chadron backwards as they sunk again to the darkest part of the cell. Harry didn't care if he got hurt in the process. He only cared to hurt Jack Chadron as much as he can until he felt tired of beating him - dead or not.
Ron again joined in the fray; Jack Chadron tried to fend off the relentless bombardment of fists and knuckles going his way using his arms and elbows, and he could not defend himself any longer as his whole body couldn't take it anymore. "Stop! Ugh, Harry, I-I've been deceived!" Chadron said, as Harry pounded Jack's head painfully on the floor.
Harry and Ron refused to listen. They still threw their punches and sometimes they landed on the hard stone floor, fracturing a bone somewhere - until their strength began to ebb away and they couldn't hurt Chadron anymore. All of them panted, and Ron tried to lift Chadron with his shirt up from the floor but he couldn't do it. He was just too tired.
The cell door opened and three Death Eaters entered with their wands out. They all pulled Harry, Ron, and Chadron away from each other without saying any word, throwing the former Head Boy in a different spot and separating him from the rest with some kind of an invisible shield. The Death Eaters went out as soon as it was done, and locked the door again behind them.
The three boys just sat on the floor, panting still. Harry and Ron looked like they had daggers from their eyes flying towards Chadron. Because of his wrath, Ron seemed to have forgotten to mourn for Hermione. Jack on the other hand avoided looking at their eyes. It took a while before they all seemed to have relaxed a little, and Harry shouted, "How dare you show your face at us after all you've done!"
"I know how you feel," Jack breathed.
"YOU BLOODY DON'T KNOW HOW WE FEEL!" Ron roared. He was beginning to cry again not because he was grieving, but because of another wave of anger trying to get out of him.
"I-I can explain," said Jack, lifting himself up off the floor. "I severely regret what I did - "
"Regret!" Harry growled. "Regret! Can it undo everything now!?! Huh? You almost made Hogwarts fall to Voldemort - you don't know how many lives you'd have destroyed if you succeeded! And now our best friend is dead! Does that make you happy at all?"
"No, absolutely not now. I should have not been so naïve by wishing for greatness under the Dark - I mean, He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named," said Jack remorsefully.
"You'd be a moron to believe that!" Ron said severely. "Greatness under You-Know-Who? Who told you such rubbish?"
"My benefactor all these years - this is all his idea, and I was so very foolish to have believed him."
"WHO!?!"
"Lucius Malfoy."
This was no surprise for Harry and Ron. They always thought Lucius Malfoy was a real evil git right from the start. But here they have heard testimony from a co-conspirator of Lucius' direct hand on this. They wished someone from the Ministry had heard what Chadron had said, and they'd get rid of Malfoy and his son off of their lives for good.
"So it was him who gave you all the instructions? The letters - were those his handwriting?" said Harry angrily.
"Yes. He used my debt of honor to do all his dirty work for him, and he abandoned and disavowed me when it was time to face He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named. All his promises were empty - recognition and membership to the Death Eater circle. My undying loyalty and obedience were actually nothing to him."
"Harumphhh!" said Ron, staring at Chadron. "And look what you got as a reward - the Crucatius Curse. Serves you right!"
"I know I deserve more than that. I'm very sorry, to all of you," said Jack, his voice breaking. "Harry, I would give anything not to have done what I did - "
"You're sorry because you didn't get what you want!" Harry retorted.
"No. No, that's not true at all," replied Jack. "I'm very sorry because I've allowed myself to be used by evil wizards - to be seduced by the dark side and wreak suffering to all those whom I affected. What would I do to regain your trust and return to your side?"
Harry snorted because he could not believe how lightly Jack took all of this. How dare he just think of going back to what was once like without paying for his crimes, like nothing had happened? It just proved his naïveté, and it just showed he never took a minute in his life to think about the consequences of his actions. Harry believed Chadron just felt alone all of a sudden, betrayed by the people he revered, and condemned by the people he hurt. Either way, he had nowhere to turn to. And that was probably good as far as Harry was concerned.
"You can't do anything anymore about it," said Harry flatly. "You'll never earn it whatever you'll do, Chadron. I'm sure the whole of Hogwarts will want to strangle you the moment they see you. You'll just have to face the facts. I wish you just hanged yourself and went to hell, and even that isn't enough for everybody!"
"I don't blame you for hating me for the rest your life, Harry," said Jack, bowing his head down at the floor. "You may deride me all you want, but deep inside I know I've repented."
"For whatever good it'll do!" spat Ron. "You shut up, Chadron! I don't want to hear another word from you anymore!" For once, Jack heeded Ron and kept quiet. Harry kept staring at Jack while Ron pulled him away towards Ginny, who was still unconscious.
"He's not so cocky anymore like before," said Ron to Harry, looking to Chadron at the corner of his eyes. "Earlier he was acting like he was the most important person in the world. He was getting unbearable! 'The Dark Lord is going to love me,'" Ron mocked. "He then got the nastiest surprise in his whole miserable life - that bloody idiot!"
"How - how did you know about the dragon, Ron?" said Harry as soon as he and Ron calmed down again.
"I heard them talk about it in front of You-Know-Who," Ron replied. "They seem to know what's going on all around this castle. There's an invisible eye at every spot, like. They already knew you were coming, Harry. They knew where you were and Ginny. Trying to get in this castle undetected was wishful thinking. They'll probably pounce on you whenever they wanted to. Like if we tried to escape, it'll be futile."
"Looks like so," Harry sighed, looking around the walls.
"Where's your wand, Harry?"
"Out there, with Ginny's - and Hermione's. They didn't bother to collect them from the hollow, like they're sure I wouldn't get there at all."
"Hey, did they ever discover your pocket Portkey?" Ron asked expectantly.
"The Pocket Portkey?" said Harry slowly, now remembering about the inconspicuous little gadget. He then frantically felt for it in his pockets, hoping that he had it and his shoulder dropped when he found them all empty. "Maybe it's in my robe pocket, back in the hollow," he groaned.
"Now I don't know how we'd get it from here, damn castle!"
"Maybe we could figure something else how to get out."
"Not in a hundred years, I suppose. This is a fortress, and it's probably crawling with Death Eaters at every corner. Then there're the Dementors - we can't go past them without being felt at all."
Ginny moaned and shifted on the floor, and she was coming to. Harry and Ron hurried up to her and helped her get up.
"Ginny, you okay?"
"Ron?" she said groggily. "How - where are we?"
"We're in You-Know-Who's dungeons, Ginny," Harry said, dropping his breath again in regret. "We're prisoners."
"Darn, is that who I think it is?" Ginny said, scowling and staring drowsily on Jack Chadron, who looked up at her and bowed his head again.
"Yeah. Mr. Head Boy, You-Know-Who's favorite," said Ron sarcastically. "He already got a taste of us, Ginny - and You-Know-Who, don't worry."
-o0o-
It was almost dawn the next day, but Harry, Ron and Ginny didn't seem to get some sleep overnight despite their exhaustion. All through the night they just kept quiet, not interested to talk. Sometimes one of them would have a great idea of how to escape and talk to everyone about it, but it always boiled down to the Dementors at every entrance and exit that they finally had given up entertaining the idea.
In addition to the reality of being held captive and the fear of the unknown, they all had the same horrible feeling all night because of Hermione's loss; each one of them never had gotten hold of their feelings at least more than a few times - especially Harry who seemed to have been affected by it most of all. They all felt they have already been through tremendous emotional and physical strain as a result of Jack Chadron's misguided longings for power under Voldemort, and it was hard not to think of plunging a knife through his throat while he just sat there a few feet away from them.
Ginny had tried too many times to point out to Harry and Ron that until Hermione's lifeless body was found, she could not be considered dead yet, although even Ginny herself couldn't believe what she was saying. It was absolutely impossible to find the right Norwegian Ridgeback who got Hermione, let alone finding her body inside its stomach whatever was left of it. The thought of that was just too grim, and Ron didn't fail to tell Ginny to shut up each time she brought it up. Still, that didn't stop them of hoping she were alive and had gotten away.
Even if they were prisoners of the most evil wizard ever known, Ron couldn't deny the food Voldemort fed them was great. If there ever was one thing good left about Voldemort, it was his cook. Just after breakfast or eggs, bacon, and toast, two Death Eaters came inside the their cell to get Harry.
"The Dark Lord now demands your presence, Potter," said one of them. "Come with us."
Ron and Ginny urged Harry not to obey, fearing that it may be the last time they'd ever see him. Harry would have refused to be brought to Voldemort, but one of the Death Eaters simply grabbed Ginny and pointed his knife across her neck, threatening to kill her if he didn't go with them. It was a classic terrorist tactic that Harry didn't want to play games with, and he reluctantly agreed.
"I'll be back," Harry said to Ron, who was staring resentfully at the Death Eaters while comforting Ginny, who was terribly shaken. This earned the Death Eater a look from Harry that could kill.
"One wrong move, and your pitiful friends die, Potter," said the other Death Eater while they walked along the corridors towards the throne room. Harry didn't answer, and kept on going. They had reached the 25-foot oak panel double doors towards the throne room, and they opened up by themselves.
Through the gaps between the two doors, Harry finally saw him. Harry felt like it was only yesterday that he faced this dark Lord; Voldemort sat on his jade-encrusted throne holding a scepter; only his lips were visible under the shadows of his hood. Then the usual thing happened when he gets near him - his scar acted up again with intense pain, though he didn't put a hand on it this time. A dozen Death Eaters flanked him at both sides, and Voldemort beckoned Harry to walk forward.
Harry didn't want to, but Voldemort now guided him like a marionette by his wand, and Harry walked stiffly towards him. Fighting it was useless, and like adding insult to his freewill, Harry was made to bow as he reached the steps at the bottom of Voldemort's throne. The Death Eaters laughed.
"Again, we meet, Harry Potter," said Voldemort triumphantly. "I believe our last meeting was adjourned quite prematurely by unexpected visitors. I'm quite pleased of having the chance to finalize our - formal parting of ways."
Harry didn't say anything, and just stared at Voldemort resentfully. In truth, he was beginning to fear him again, but he didn't want to give Voldemort more pleasure by shaking in front of him.
"But what a difference half a year makes," Voldemort continued on. "The last time you saw me rise again I only had a graveyard for a place to do my work, and a few disciples amidst me. Now look around you. I've built this fortress with a wave of my wand in seconds, as a symbol of my power. People shudder with the mere mention of my name, but after they will gain knowledge about this fortress I built, they will learn how to fear the name Xanthius."
Voldemort stood and approached Harry, who was standing quite still, and reached for his jaw. Harry felt the cold, coarse hands of Voldemort as his head was lifted up a little to allow a good look on his face. Voldemort pulled back his hood to reveal himself, and Harry's eyes widened when he realized Voldemort's face had somehow changed. He still had the snake like-slits for a nose but his red eyes, lips, and cheeks were now slowly returning to his old self - of the young Tom Riddle.
"I see you've already noted the physical change in me, Harry," said Voldemort, laughing, and staring at Harry's eyes. "And this change actually comes with a change of heart. The reason why I haven't murdered you already is that I might give you the option to choose your destiny - and the world's."
Voldemort let go of Harry's jaw, and he returned to his throne. "Before I give you that option, you will need to understand a little of my own history and my vision for the future. That will help you decide which path you must take afterwards."
"I would rather die than - " Harry started.
"That will come if you refuse my offer, never fear," said Voldemort calmly.
In a split second, Harry and Voldemort were suddenly outdoors beside each other, standing on a hill. It looked like it was nighttime, only that the sky was dark because of the blackest clouds he'd ever seen in his whole life. Harry thought that they were in a different place in a different time. Harry couldn't move from where he stood, and getting away from Voldemort was next to impossible.
From his vantage point, Harry could see a large castle in the distance with a few tall towers with embattlements. He couldn't miss the tallest one that was at the center - it seemed to be as high as the dark clouds. All around the castle were rolling hills and forests, and they seemed to be filled with a large gathering of people as far as his eyes could see.
"This is Xanthius as it looks outside. It is where I will rule in the New Order," announced Voldemort. "That time is almost here, as my legions of followers are gathering to prepare for it." Voldemort now looked at Harry, who looked back with an impassive face."This is a glimpse of the future, Harry. The thousands of people you see are my slaves. It's unavoidable, and nobody shall deny me of such future."
Harry's vision spun; they were now inside a room, and this time they weren't alone. There was another man with his back to them who sat on a wooden chair, head drooped as if he was severely depressed, and time seemed to stay still. He was wearing some kind of a military uniform, and there was a gun and a wand on the table in front of him. Harry couldn't quite get what Voldemort was trying to show him, but the man looked very familiar.
"This man, Harry, was my former master," said Voldemort calmly. "Do you know who this was?"
The room turned, and they were now standing where Harry could now see the man's face, but still, he didn't know who this man was.
"Grindewald."
"Grindewald?" repeated Harry. "That's the name of the Dark Wizard Dumbledore defeated in 1945."
"I see you know your History of Magic, and this was the day he died in his keep. The history books tell that Dumbledore killed Grindewald, and here you will see the truth how it happened."
The door of the room sprang open, and a young Tom Riddle burst in, looking afraid and sweaty. "He's coming, Master!" Harry somehow enjoyed watching Tom Riddle about to wet his pants. Without any warning, the wall behind Riddle disintegrated into millions of shards of splinters, and when the dust settled, Harry saw Dumbledore, more than fifty years younger, pointing his wand at the back of Grindewald. Dumbledore's blue eyes were on fire.
"You have nowhere to go, Grindewald," said Dumbledore in German, but Harry was surprised he could understand the language even though he never learned it. "Your muggle army is defeated. Give up now, and I will spare your life."
But Grindewald didn't say anything and confronted Dumbledore, turning around to point his golden wand at him. Then came violent flashes of light and innumerable bangs; Harry couldn't catch on what was happening - everything went on too fast.
When the smoke cleared, Grindewald looked wasted, his uniform burned to shreds. Dumbledore had a deep gash on his left knee, but he was still standing. As Harry watched, he felt immensely proud of seeing Dumbledore in action, and defeating one of the darkest wizards in the world. So this was how Dumbledore actually defeated Grindewald, Harry thought.
A sudden sound like a bullet firing rang inside the bunker; Grindewald had taken his life with a bullet to the head. Harry was startled, and he jerked and grimaced, seeing for the first time ever in his life the blood and gore one made when committing such suicidal acts. The sight of it will embed in his memory for as long as he lived.
The young Riddle had his mouth open, in extreme shock seeing what his master did - even more so when he saw Dumbledore pointing his wand at him. Nothing happened then because Riddle disapparated, screaming at Dumbledore with a vow of vengeance. With Riddle gone, Dumbledore looked down on Grindewald, took the dark wizard's wand and broke it into two. Then the scene froze.
"My master envisioned his own perfect world - a world free of the filth of lesser Muggles," Voldemort said, as Dumbledore stood motionless. "His concept of a master race, molded into his own liking, was derived from Salazar Slytherin's legacy, which I vow to someday put into reality. My vision this time is to rid the world free of Muggles to avenge my master's death, and for me, a wizard world free of Mudbloods. I share my master's vision, and I see it as the most noble deed."
"You probably hate Muggles because your old master died with a gun - a Muggle object," said Harry with relish. "It just proves even Muggles could defeat the darkest of wizards, and that includes you." Voldemort, for the first time ever, didn't know how to get back at Harry for what he said.
"And you say a world free of Muggles?" asked Harry next. "Then you're talking about Genocide! "
"Unfortunate for them. If not Genocide, then slavery. That's where you come in."
Harry fell silent, dreading of the future Voldemort had painted for the world in front of him. The world as he knew it won't be the same if he were given the chance; he thought this man really needed to be stopped at all costs. He didn't know what was the point of Voldemort of showing this little piece of his own history because it only made Harry hate him more, now that he knew he had served the man who had plunged the world in chaos. This little show only showed that Voldemort had inherited bigotry from the man who was known to have murdered millions of people in ethnic cleansing.
"Join us, Harry," Voldemort said. "This way you will spare all Muggles and Mudbloods from the fate I have laid out for them. You will be their envoy, and you will have the power to control their destiny. As long as you serve me, I shall not kill them. But if you refuse, they will all die. You, ahead of them."
This was getting nowhere, Harry thought. He couldn't believe Voldermort, the same man who killed his parents, could still expect sympathy or allegiance from him. At the same time, Harry couldn't fathom what was in it for Voldemort if he'd join in, too - like when pigs could fly. What was so special about him that Voldemort was willing to give-up his life-long goal of Muggle genocide? There were actually more questions than answers, but he didn't have to wait for the latter.
"The Heir of Gryffindor, capitulating to the Heir of Slytherin," said Voldemort. "The world shall tremble on that New Order. The Heir of Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff have not been conceived yet. Your surrender, coupled with the invalidity of Dumbledore, will be a symbolic defeat to those who oppose me as I prepare for my inevitable rise to power. Your decision, Harry, will determine the future of the new minority.
"You have nowhere to go, Harry. It was entirely your fault that one of your dearest friends is dead, and the two others who are already my prisoners, will follow soon. When you do return to Hogwarts, if you do manage to escape from me at all, whom can you turn to?
"Believe me, you will never find friends like them ever again. Your world as you know it will be insignificant, and what better way to avoid the pain of losing what you once had very dearly than embarking in a new world order with me? I will make you forget about your friends, for you will be much happier knowing only about how great and wonderful the future will be in store for you. If you remember what I told you once before and I say it again: there is no good and evil, only power. Together, we will do extraordinary things. Yes, Harry."
Harry thought about it deeper this time. Voldemort was tempting him, and he seemed to be succeeding. Hermione was dead - he was responsible for it, and he didn't want to blame himself for it for the rest of his life. Whether he liked it or not, Voldemort will kill Ron and Ginny for no reason at all but for the sake of it. Will he be able to cope with the grief that will come next with it?
With Dumbledore's health getting worse, whom will he turn to for protection? If Voldemort really can make wipe his memory about his former friends, will it hurt at all if he'll never remember anyone of them anymore? The offer was so tempting, and Harry was getting very confused. Voldemort had already played on Harry's mind, and the offer to get out of his suffering was just too hard to ignore.
"Think of how many Muggle deaths you'll prevent if you pledge your allegiance to me - and the freedom from your guilt. I will give you time to decide, Harry," Voldemort concluded.
The walls around Harry dissolved while his mind buzzed, and he was back suddenly in Xanthius in front of a startled but relieved Ron and Ginny.
-o0o-
When Harry had finished telling Ron and Ginny what Voldemort had shown him, their minds were buzzing with information overload. The three of them just sat there on the floor, thinking. Harry didn't tell them about Voldemort's offer to make him forget about his past if he agreed to join him - he knew Ron will be pretty mad if he had even entertained the prospect of turning his coat.
"I always knew You-Know-Who was a bloody rotten idiot," said Ron with gritted teeth. "I still don't get it. What's the point showing how Dumbledore beat Grindewald - I don't see any relevance. It only makes me root for Dumbledore even more the way you saw him do those cool moves."
"Yeah, I don't get it either," said Harry. "But it's good intelligence - info I mean. Maybe we could find out what makes You-Know-Who tick."
"If You-Know-Who wanted to disprove that Dumbledore really killed Grindewald to doubt him, then he's mistaken. It just shows Dumbledore isn't a cold-blooded murderer like him - and that's probably why You-Know-Who's so afraid of Dumbledore. Even his master Grindewald killed himself out of cowardice."
"Maybe we could talk to Dumbledore about it," Ginny said optimistically. "Oh, Harry, we really thought we'd never see you again. I'm so happy that you're still alive."
"Yeah," said Ron. "If we're really gonna buy the farm sooner or later, let's just make sure we go together, huh?" he said rather sadly.
Ginny shook her head. "Hmphh! Overruled by the pessimist again," she said to Harry, jerking her head to Ron, who scowled at her.
Harry, for the first time from the Burrow, laughed. It felt real good to laugh again, but what Ron had said before Ginny bore deep into Harry's heart. While he was secretly considering Voldemort's proposal (he can't believe he was even thinking about it), Ron was so sure that their bond would never break.
Ron was a good joker, and in an effort to remove their gloom, he cracked a lot of funny stories. Ginny was laughing hysterically, and Harry did his best to listen in and laugh. Even Jack Chadron was laughing, Harry saw, although not loudly. Still, what Voldemort had said to him earlier kept crossing his mind, much more frequent than he had expected - he now wasn't really listening to Ron. Through the rest of Ron's jokes, Harry's laughter were mostly forced - and Ron saw through him; he could tell there was something wrong with Harry.
The question playing in Harry's mind now, after being reminded how wonderful it was to have friends who make you laugh, would it really hurt if he was made to forget about his past, like he never had known them in the first place? And if so, for whatever kind of monster Voldemort might make out of him, would it make him worry what people might think of him then when he cared for no one at all?
It would be like being reborn and to become oblivious to his past - ironically that would also mean the death of the former Harry, like he never existed, and he would live on in a different form with its own different mind. He would never feel bad anymore about what had been, as long as he didn't remember. Harry was now on the brink of giving in to temptation. It was the only way he knew how to get out of his grief and guilt - the easy way.
Wherever he turned, Jack Chadron, alone at his side of the shield, seemed to keep falling within Harry's sight. Each time Jack fell into view, he was reminded how blinded Jack was to Voldemort's power. But after being deceived, Chadron was now wishing he'd go back to the good side - Dumbledore's fold, while Harry was thinking of the opposite. He found that very ironic, but yet they had very different reasons why they're contemplating the other way.
Deception. Was this Voldemort's game? Harry had learned never to trust the enemy, but the situation had changed all of a sudden. What if Voldemort really had a change of heart? Voldemort really didn't make promises to Jack at all, only Lucius did, so Voldemort really didn't deceive him, did he? "Hermione," Harry called in his thoughts like a prayer, "please give me your wisdom wherever you are."
Harry didn't notice it, but he had already been fighting with himself for a long time. Each passing moment he thought about it, he was getting feverish, and it seemed like something deep in his mind was talking to him to accept the offer.
"Accept it Harry, there's no other alternative -" said the voice audibly.
"No, I can't - " Harry fought.
"You can't live with the guilt for the rest of your life - there's no other way but to accept it."
"Yes - No - Yes."
He didn't understand why he was beginning to get more afraid to refuse it. It was like someone is telling him there's no other real choice.
"Harry, you killed me, Harry, you killed me!" then said another voice in his mind, and it now sounded like Hermione's. Harry suddenly felt like his temperature dropped below zero. He then felt very extremely guilty.
"I'm so sorry, Hermione!" he said in his mind. "Oh, Hermione, I'm so sorry!"
"I will never forgive you, Harry! Never! Never!" Hermione cried.
"No, Hermione - please forgive me - "
"You killed me!"
"Harry? You allright?" said Ron.
Harry suddenly came back to his senses, although not completely. The voices had gone. Ron had seen him talk to himself, and had nudged his friend to check up on him.
"Yeah, Ron, m-maybe just a bad dream - "
"But you were awake," said Ron suspiciously. "You sure you okay?"
"Yeah - " Harry now wiped his sweaty forehead and slid himself down lower on the floor in an attempt to relax.
Ginny was already sleeping, but Ron was still staring at him. Harry had never seen him so serious in his whole life. That look on Ron's face wasn't helping him feel relaxed.
"Harry, I know there's something wrong with you," Ron said, and he was not smiling. Best friends had the uncanny ability to see through themselves without talking about it. "You're acting - strange. I know there's something else bothering you."
Harry hesitated and kept quiet for a while, yet Ron was determined to squeeze out what was bothering his friend deep inside however long it would take. Fortunately, Harry was still himself despite of recent his fit, and he couldn't bear keeping any secret from the best friend he had known for years. He left it all to fate, and Harry told Ron everything. As he did, he seemed to have reached some sort of a decision, and the feeling he had earlier was again returning very rapidly.
Ron didn't get angry at all, to Harry's surprise. In fact Ron felt sorry for him, while he listened on at least, and he didn't fail to frantically look for a reason to steer Harry off from ever considering Voldemort's alternative. From then on, Ron became increasingly agitated.
"Harry, I can't believe you're falling for You-Know-Who's lies!" he said not so quietly, and Ginny jumped out of her dreams. "Haven't we ever learned our lesson yet? The Philosopher's Stone, the Chamber of Secrets, his attempts to murder you last year! Don't tell me you've forgotten everything what we've fought for!"
"Yeah, I know, but you have to understand what I feel first - about Hermione," he replied in a desperate voice, like he was in the verge of a breakdown. "I'm the reason she's dead, and if you were me, would you like to live the rest of your life blaming yourself about it?"
"If you were me," Ron spat back, "what would you feel if I wanted you dead, too, just to forget about everything? Then what kind of a friend are you? You'll be abandoning what you, Hermione, and I believed in. She died to save me - I wish that didn't have to happen, but - but - it has already happened, Harry. Hard for me to accept it's happened! Then you'll just go over to the dark side - giving in to You-Know-Who will be an insult to her memory!
"Think about what you're going to do, Harry! No, no don't cry now - I think you're cracking up!" Harry was pulling his hair now, like he was on the brink.
"I think he confunded Harry," Jack said. "He's under his spell!"
"Keep out of this, you stupid git!" Ron said to Chadron venomously.
"Ron, I'm sorry - I'm so sorry! But I have to do it - " Harry said, shaking.
"What? You decided already?" said Ron incredulously. "How can you be such a coward, Harry? YOU'D BE A COWARD IF YOU DO!" Ginny made a squeaking sound, and she might have heard everything as she was cowering at a corner, horrified by Harry's emotional state.
"Harry, please, whatever it is you're thinking, please don't do it!" she said imploringly.
Ron approached Harry, hugged him, and said, "We can get out of here, Harry, I promise to help you out of your grief then," But Harry was fully confused, like there was some kind of invisible pressure being brought down to him. "There's still a way out - you can fight it!"
Harry didn't have a chance to. Some Death Eaters opened their cell door, and each of them grabbed him, Ron, Ginny, and Jack, dragging them out painfully.
"Hey, where're you taking us?!?" protested Ginny.
"To the Dark Lord," said the Death Eater calmly. "It's time for Potter to make his life decision, and for the rest of you to die."