Unofficial Portkey Archive

Author's note: I know this is a day late (okay two days late) and probably a page short (forgive that pathetic attempt at humor-it's early and I need to get ready for work), but hopefully it will have been well worth the wait. And you do have a cliffie at the end---come on you guys know that I'd have another one (or two) left in me! Please tell me what you think! I apologize for not responding as well to the reviews as I have in the past but I did read each and every one and I am amazed and grateful for the response that I'm getting on this story!

Chapter Fifteen

Crash

Touch your lips just so I know
In your eyes, love, it glows so
I'm bare-boned and crazy... for you.

And if I've gone overboard
Then I'm begging you
To forgive me
In my haste
When I'm holding you so girl,
Close to me

(Crash, Dave Matthews Band)

She was staring out at the ocean taking in the breathtaking view. There wasn't a cloud in the sky and the sun was reflecting off the ocean. It was a perfect day---outside. Inside, it was a completely different story. Harry had read the letter twice and he was literally at a loss for words. He didn't know what to say. He was afraid anything he said would make things worse and after everything he and Hermione had been through, he didn't want to do that.

"Hermione…"

"I woke up this morning feeling so guilty about what I'd done to him," Hermione interjected, her back still to Harry. "I hated myself for what I'd done to him."

Absently, she ran a hand through her hair. "I'm not saying that I really have a leg to stand on here, Harry. I've never been one of those people who used the old two wrongs making a right excuse. I always thought that was such a copout."

"Hermione…"

She turned suddenly and looked at him. "Did you know about what he was doing? You're his best mate after all. I'm sure he told you all about it; knowing him he probably bragged about it, too."

Harry looked away and Hermione had her answer.

"That's just great," she said quietly. "You knew and you didn't tell me."

"How long?" Hermione asked him point-blank. "How long has he been doing this? From the start?"

Harry nodded.

"I can't believe I was such an idiot!" Hermione exclaimed. "I should have seen this coming. He would cancel dates. He would show up late for certain things. And I never once questioned him. I thought it was because I wasn't-"

"Wasn't what?"

Hermione shook her head. "It doesn't matter, Harry. I just---I've been feeling guilty for what happened. I felt like I'd betrayed him. And I have, but still…"

Inwardly, Harry groaned. While he was beyond glad that Hermione knew the complete truth now, he was afraid of what it would ultimately mean for them---him and Hermione. He felt like a selfish jerk, but it was how he was truthfully feeling at the moment.

As if there is even an "us" to consider. Our 'relationship' is over before it even had a chance to begin.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Hermione asked him, her eyes shining with tears.

There it was---the big question.

"It wasn't my place to tell you, Hermione," Harry finally answered. "I wanted to tell you so many times, but I just couldn't do it."

"Just go," Hermione said, turning away from him. "Just go, Harry."

Harry nodded and placed the letter back on the coffee table. He was halfway to the door when he stopped himself. If she thought he was going to let her go that easily, she had another thing coming.

"It wasn't my place to tell you, Hermione," Harry said startling her. She turned around and looked at him, her arms crossed.

"Not your place?"

"No," Harry replied, shaking his head. "Hermione, he's still my best mate. If you ask me, he's a complete idiot for not realizing the kind of girl he had in you. If you were mine-I wouldn't need anyone else. Look, I don't know what to say to make you understand this, Hermione. I was angry when I found out what he was doing. In his letters, he never mentioned you by name until…well, until his last letter. When I found out it was you, I was even more pissed off."

Hermione didn't answer him. She just stared at him with an infuriatingly unreadable expression on her face.

This wasn't going well at all and Harry suddenly had a feeling that no matter what he said he was going to end up looking like the bad guy.

"Look," Harry started again. "Put yourself in my place, Hermione. What would you have done if your best friend was dating someone that you knew and you found out that person was cheating on her?"

"I'd tell her," Hermione answered without a moment's hesitation.

"But what if you…what if you were in the love with that other person?" Harry asked.

Hermione's mouth dropped. "W-what?"

"What if you were…what if you were in love with that other person?" Harry repeated. His eyes fixed on hers.

Now it was Hermione who seemed to be at a loss for words.

"I…"

"It would complicate things a bit, wouldn't it?" Harry asked her. "It was precisely because of that why I didn't say anything. Don't you think it would have been easy for me to just tell you straightaway? I wanted to, Hermione."

"But he's your best mate," Hermione finished for him.

"Yeah."

Hermione walked past him and settled back down on the sofa, hugging her legs to her chest. For the longest time, neither of them spoke.

"So what did his letters say?" Hermione asked quietly.

"He only mentioned your name in the last letter," Harry replied truthfully. "Before you came down here he mentioned that he'd starting dating someone and that he wanted to be faithful, but he didn't see how he could."

He braced himself for her to come back with how he was able to tell her this now, but not before. No response came from Hermione though.

"I didn't know it was you until in his last letter he mentioned you by name," Harry continued.

"What…what did he say about me?"

"He asked for my help," Harry said sitting down opposite her. "He wanted me to tell him what to do."

"And did you?"

Harry shook his head. "I never wrote him back. I didn't know what to say. If I told him to chuck you, you would have been hurt and it would have been for entirely selfish reasons, wouldn't it? And if I'd told him to stop cheating and realize what he'd had in you, he would have done what he always does-which is whatever he wants. He doesn't always think about the big picture before he acts. Never really has."

Hermione smiled slightly. "That's what I heard about you."

"I was young," Harry said smiling back at her. "I would like to think I've grown up a little since then."

"You have," Hermione said softly. "A little."

Harry walked over to her and knelt down before her. Taking her hands in his, he looked solemnly at her. "I meant what I said, Hermione."

"You didn't actually say it," Hermione whispered.

Harry smiled. "No, technically I guess I didn't."

"I do love you," he said softly. "And maybe it's too soon, but I wanted you to know that. And that I'm sorry for not telling you about…"

She put her finger on his lips. "It's okay. I understand. I might not like it, but…but I understand why you didn't."

Harry tilted her chin and pressed his lips to hers. Hermione pulled away a few seconds later and rested her forehead on his. "Harry?"

"Yes," he whispered.

"I love you, too."

He smiled broadly at her and kissed her again; putting every bit of emotion he had into that one kiss.

When they pulled apart a few minutes later, Hermione gave him a slight smile.

"But…" Harry began, sensing that she had something else to say.

"I need to go home," Hermione finished.

"What? Why?"

Hermione sighed and took his hands in hers. "So much has happened in such a short amount of time. I…I think we need….some time."

"Time?"

Hermione nodded. "I need to break things off with Ron. Things weren't working out with him long before I came here and met you and…fell in love…"

Her voice trailed off and she blushed.

"But why do you have to leave?" Harry asked her. "Stay. You still have a couple more weeks for your holiday…."

"You said it yourself, Harry. He's your best mate. Do you really want to give up your friendship with someone you've known for so long for a girl you haven't even known two months? I don't want to make you choose between us, Harry."

"But…"

Hermione shook her head. "You and I both know if he found out that you and I were together, he'd never speak to you again. He'd think it was just one more thing that you took from him. And we both know it wasn't like that, but Ron---he won't see it like that."

He knew she was right, but he didn't see how he'd be able to let her go. In the back of his mind, he'd always figured that Ron would be upset, but eventually would get over it and perhaps they'd even all be friends someday.

You are a complete idiot. That would never happen.

"I just think we both need to take some time apart and see what it is we really want," Hermione said thoughtfully. "It won't be easy, but I really do think it will be for the best."

Harry touched her cheek. "These feelings aren't going to go away, Hermione."

"Of course they won't," Hermione agreed. "I'm not leaving to try and forget you, Harry. That's never going to happen. Your home is here. This is where you've made a life for yourself. This is where you've found peace. I wouldn't make you give that up."

Harry wanted to tell her that none of that mattered. That he could see himself giving it all up just to be with her. He wanted to tell her that he wanted her to stay. He should have told her these things, but instead he kept quiet. The words froze in his throat.

Instead he heard himself asking her, "When did you want to leave?"

"Tomorrow afternoon," Hermione replied. "I wanted to help you with Sirius' proposal plans. I'm going to see about setting up a portkey."

She stood up, but Harry grabbed her arm.

"What?" she asked softly.

"Stay with me tonight," he whispered, leaning in for a kiss. "Just one more night…"

For an awful moment, Harry worried that she'd say no; that it would be easier to just say goodbye now. Instead, she closed the space between them and looped her arms around his neck.

"Okay," she said with a grin. "I was hoping you'd ask…"

~~~~~~~

Two days later, Sirius and Eva docked their boat on Isla Solarte.

"So, you're not going to tell me what you're up to?" Eva asked, looking sideways at him as he helped her out of the boat.

"Why do you think I'm up to anything?" he asked her innocently. "I'm not always up to something, you know."

Eva laughed. "Sirius Black. You are always up to something. And I can read you like a book. You haven't given me my birthday present yet and you keep nudging me every five minutes to tell me that I'm going to love it and that it's going to be the best birthday present ever. You have quite the flair for the dramatic."

"Me?"

"Yes, you," Eva said, kissing him on the cheek. "I cannot wait to lie down. I'm exhausted."

Sirius frowned. "You can't lie down just yet."

"You wanna bet?"

"Actually I do," Sirius said smiling at her. "Look, I need you to just sit down right here and I will be right back to come and get you when I make sure that everything's ready."

Eva stared at him. "You make it sound like I'm a dog."

"You're not a dog," Sirius said dismissively. "Look, sit."

He sat her down on the bench and ignored the look on her face. "Stay right here. And I will be right back to fetch…I mean….get you."

"Sirius…"

"I'll be right back, my love."

Sirius was giddy with anticipation as he quickly made his way toward the house. He wanted to make sure that Harry and Hermione had everything set up. Sure enough, he could smell something fantastic coming from the house. Candles lined the walkway along with Eva's favorite flowers, Heliconias.

Harry was standing at the door grinning at his godfather.

"Fantastic job, Harry!"

Harry shrugged. "So I take it I did well?"

"Bloody brilliant, is what you are!" Sirius exclaimed happily. "I can't wait to see Eva's face. She doesn't suspect anything. Well, she knows I'm up to something, but I don't think she knows what exactly."

"Where is Eva?"

"On the docks," Sirius answered, giving him a hug. "I told her to stay down there while I made sure everything was okay. She looked at me as if I was mad and maybe I am, but I just want this to be perfect."

"It will be," Harry said. "We've set everything up; the rest, Old Man, is up to you."

"You've got a romantic dinner set up on the patio and there are fresh strawberries and champagne chilling in the kitchen," Harry continued. "And the stereo is set to play all of your old jazz records that you love so much."

Sirius beamed at him. "That's fantastic, Harry! I don't know what to do to repay you for all of this…"

"How about never meddling in my life again?" Harry asked, only half-joking. "That would be a start."

"I think I can do that," Sirius said impishly. "Well, don't expect me to quit cold turkey, of course. Baby steps, Harry. Baby steps."

Harry laughed. "Well, I guess I'll leave you to it then…"

"Not just yet," Sirius said, pulling him back. "Where's Hermione? I want to thank her for all that she did, too."

Harry's face fell at the mention of Hermione's name.

"Harry?"

"If you want to thank her, you'll have to send her a thank you card," Harry finally answered.

"What?"

"She left this afternoon," Harry said quietly. Sirius looked expectantly at him for more details, but Harry just shook his head. "I'll tell you about it tomorrow, Sirius. Just leave it for now. Go get your woman and ask her to marry you. Tomorrow I'll take her to get her head examined."

Sirius didn't laugh. "Something happened, didn't it?"

"Don't worry about it now," Harry said dismissively. "I'm going to stay in the guest house tonight. You two have fun. Good luck."

"Harry…" Sirius said, but his godson was already walking away toward the guesthouse.

***************

Nearly an hour later, Eva and Sirius were finishing up their meal. Eva was still quite tired from the flight, but she was enjoying the fresh air and the company. She'd been quite surprised to see all the trouble that Sirius had gone to for her birthday celebration, but she had a feeling that he was up to something else. He had that gleam in his eye that he always got when he knew something you didn't. It was one of the things she loved most about him.

"Okay, birthday girl," Sirius said, pouring her another glass of wine. "How about some birthday cake?"

Eva shook her head. "Where would I put it? Sirius, I'm stuffed."

He frowned. "You don't have to eat any of it, Eva. Just blow out the candles."

"Please tell me you didn't put forty-five candles on that cake," Eva said, narrowing her eyes at him.

"Are you crazy?" Sirius asked. "I don't want to burn the place down!"

Eva glared at him. "Need I remind you that you are three months older than me?"

"No," Sirius said grinning at her. "You don't need to remind me."

He disappeared inside to get the birthday cake and his hands were shaking as he placed the engagement ring in the middle of the cake. He pulled out his wand and lit the candles.

"Happy birthday to you," he sang as he walked back outside carrying the cake. "Happy Birthday to you. Happy Birthday, dear Eva. Happy birthday to you!"

Eva groaned. "Well, I don't love you for your singing…"

"Shut it you!" Sirius said, sitting the cake down in front of her. "Blow out your candles, my love."

She smiled and did as she was told. When she looked down at the cake she saw something sparkling in the icing. Her breath caught in her throat as she saw the gold solitaire ring.

"Oh my God," Eva managed to choke out. Sirius grinned.

"Oh my God," she repeated.

"You said that," Sirius said with a laugh. He took the ring from the cake and wiped it off with his serviette. He knelt before her.

"Eva," he said softly. "I love you so much. Everyday I wake up and I am so grateful that I found you. I've never been good at all this mushy, romantic stuff, but what I'm trying to say-rather inarticulately is that I love you, Eva. I want to spend the rest of my life with you and I hope that you'll take pity on an old soul and say that you want the same thing, too. Will you marry me?"

Tears were shining in Eva's eyes as he slipped the ring on her finger. "Yes, Sirius. I'll marry you."

From the guesthouse patio, Harry watched the scene unfold. He didn't hear what his godfather said, but he didn't really have to. If ever two people were meant for each other, it was Eva and Sirius. As Harry watched Eva hug Sirius, Harry wondered if something like that would ever happen to him. Hermione was gone and there was a really good possibility that he'd never see her again. He didn't like thinking of that.

After all these years, Sirius was finally getting what he wanted. He had the love of a good woman and he'd always been happy here on Isla Solarte. Harry had always been happy too, or so he'd thought. In the back of his mind, he'd always thought that something or someone was missing. He hadn't really known what until Hermione had walked into his life. He wondered what she was doing now. Was she thinking of him? Had she seen Ron yet?

Harry closed his eyes and tried to block out images of her from his brain, but it was hopeless. She was there. Even being in the guesthouse was bringing back a flood of memories for him. The first time he'd seen her; their last night here. This wasn't going to be easy, he thought as he walked back into the guesthouse.

**********

Ron was enjoying an early morning breakfast when he heard a knock on the door. Melinda had left a few minutes ago and he'd broken things off with her. They'd both decided it was for the best, especially since he'd bought the engagement ring a couple of days ago. His decision was made. Hermione would be back in a couple of weeks and then everything would fall into place. They'd get married, they'd raise a family and they'd be happy.

Ron smiled as he made his way to the door and picked up Melinda's black, racy bra that she'd left behind and knew she was back for it. He began fantasizing about her newest attempt to detract him from proposing to Hermione and finally leaving his cheating days behind him. "Just one more go, Ron... For old time's sake?" she'd ask. Ron would smile and shake his head but he'd still gaze at her perfect figure, her long, blonde hair, and full lips... It would be hard, but he'd tell her no, even though the thought of the encounter drove him mad with anticipation.

"Did you forget your bra on purpose?" Ron asked as he swung open the door. "It won't work this time, Mel-"

"Hello, Ron, miss me?" Hermione asked coldly.