Author's note: Okay, you guys. The reason you had to wait so long for this one is because of the NCAA Tournament. My Tar Heels are the 2005 NCAA Champs and because of that I am very, very, very happy (and very sleepy for staying up and watching it). But I hope that you guys like this. It is the chapter that some of you have been waiting for. I would like to thank Excalibur and Heaven for helping beta this one for me and giving me suggestions, etc. Thanks guys! And to Neverisapromise14 because we chatted during the big game and kept me calm during the tense time (I know it's just a game but come on! It was awesome!). Enough with this…on to the story. I hope you guys enjoy it!
Chapter Nineteen
Mr. Brightside
"I just can't look its killing me
And taking control
Jealousy, turning saints into the sea
Swimming through sick lullabies
Choking on your alibis
But it's just the price I pay
Destiny is calling me
Open up my eager eyes
'Cause I'm Mr Brightside"
(Mr. Brightside, by the Killers)
Hermione looked at her watch for what must have been the twentieth time since Harry had left. She still felt guilty about taking a personal day but Lavender kept telling her Hermione was being foolish. As a show of solidarity, Lavender had also owled in sick.
"You really didn't have to stay with me," Hermione said once again when Lavender plopped down beside her on the sofa.
"Yes I did," Lavender said. "I am your best friend in the whole world and I needed to be here for you. Besides, I really do have a headache from that party last night. So, I am technically 'sick'."
"Thanks," Hermione said smiling at her. "You've been really great, Lavender. I appreciate it."
Lavender waved her hand dismissively. "My motives aren't entirely unselfish. You can give me all the juicy details-now that we're alone. Is Harry back for good? Is he going to stay here with us? And the really important question: does he wear boxers or briefs?"
Hermione blushed. "Lavender!"
"What?" the blonde asked innocently. "Those are all really benign questions, Hermione. You can tell me you know. I've told you loads of things about the blokes I've dated."
"You've told me way too much about the blokes you've dated," Hermione said as she laughed. "Lavender, I really wish I could tell you, but aside from the boxers or briefs thing, I really don't know the specifics," she said after she'd calmed somewhat. She left out Harry's plans of teaching at Hogwarts along with the possibility that she'd be doing the same.
"Well you might not know the specifics, but it's quite obvious that he's crazy about you," Lavender said nudging her friend. "Anyone can see that."
"Yeah," Hermione said with a smile. "I'm mad about him too."
Hermione sighed after another glance at her watch.
"He's only been gone a few minutes," Lavender pointed out. "Everything will be okay."
"I don't see how..."
"It will," Lavender reassured her. "Besides, that weasely Ronald Weasley hasn't a leg to stand on here after he cheated on you with anything that had a pulse. And it's not as if you set off on your holiday to fall in love with his best friend. You had no idea Harry was going to be there, he had no idea who you really were, and when everything was out in the open the two of you tried to stay away from each other! But it was too late by then."
"Something tells me Ron's not going to see it that way," Hermione said as she pulled her knees to her chest and hugged them to her like she did when she was a scared little girl.
Lavender slammed her fist into the couch angrily and looked Hermione straight in the eye. "Sod Ron! He cheated on you, Hermione! And it wasn't as if the two of you were some great romance to begin with! You had almost nothing in common. And you fought more than you got along."
"This isn't just about me, Lav," Hermione whispered. "This is Harry and Ron-best mates. They've been through hell together and made it back in one piece. But Ron's always been a bit jealous of Harry and even though he hates himself for feeling like that, he still has those insecurities, Lav. When he finds out about Harry and me he's going to see it as yet another thing that Harry Potter stole away from him."
"And he'll conveniently forget all about his role in all this?" Lavender sniffed. "He'll forget about his inability to keep his bloody trousers zipped..."
"Lavender-"
"No, Hermione," Lavender said getting to her feet, "you have something special with Harry. I've never seen you so happy and you shouldn't give that up because Ron Weasley might feel inconvenienced or jealous."
"I know," Hermione said. "I do love Harry and I don't want to be without him. I just know that telling Ron about us is going to be hard for him. The Weasleys are his family, Lavender."
"I know," Lavender said sitting back down. "I just want you to be happy. Both of you."
"Me too," Hermione said softly. "Me too..."
***** ************ ************
Harry stared blankly at the door to Ron's flat trying to summon up some of that old Gryffindor courage. He'd been standing out here for nearly fifteen minutes, mentally going over what he would say. Different scenarios flashed in and out of his mind and not one of them ended in a good way.
He's my best mate. It's only a matter of time before the papers get wind of Hermione and me. If I don't tell him now he'll read about it in the papers and that's not how I want him to find out. But how in the world do I even start to tell him this?
Taking a long, deep breath, Harry knocked on the door and a few moments later, Ron answered. He was wearing track trousers and an old Cannons t-shirt. The confused look on Ron's face quickly turned into a wide grin.
"Harry James Potter!" Ron said hugging his long-lost friend. "So you sorry git, you are home!"
Harry let out a weak laugh and returned his friend's embrace. "Yeah, I'm back."
"Where the hell have you been?" Ron asked him with the "Molly Weasley" stern expression firmly in place. "Mum was a right sight when you didn't stop in to see her and dad first... Come to think of it, so am I."
"I know," Harry said apologetically. "But there was something-"
Ron punched Harry on the arm. "There was a girl, wasn't there?" he interrupted with a sly grin. "You probably weren't back on British soil for more than two seconds before some bird threw herself at you, eh?"
Harry let out another weak laugh. "No, it's not like that-"
Ron stepped aside and ushered his friend into the flat. "Mum was in a right nutter when she saw that article in the Daily Prophet! You should've seen her! But I told Mum that Skeeter was just making things up to sell papers. It looks like I was wrong for once! You are back!"
"Yeah, I'm back," Harry said sitting down on the couch. He looked around the messy flat and memories of sharing a dorm room with Ron at Hogwarts assailed his mind: Ron's mussed bedding, sweat-stained socks and T-shirts littering the floor, Quidditch magazines lying crumpled next to the nightstand that was full to overflowing with candy wrappers, and only a true diviner could tell you what lay in wait under the bed.
"How long are you back for?" Ron asked as he sat in a tattered, old chair that was directly opposite Harry. "Are you just visiting or finally back for good?"
"Back for good," Harry replied.
"Brilliant!" Ron said smiling broadly at his best friend. He leaned forward and a conspiratorial look came over his features. "So, tell me...what finally brought you home? I promise I won't sell the story to the papers..." Harry had just opened his mouth to respond but Ron cut him off. "It doesn't really matter what brought you back," Ron continued. "All that matters is that you're here! Because, the truth is I need your help."
"My help?" Harry asked.
"Yeah," Ron said as he nodded. "You remember that girl I told you about? My girlfriend? Well, long story short, her flatmate saw me with Melinda and just couldn't wait to share that information with Hermione... Needless to say, we're kind of on the outs..."
"Kind of on the outs?"
"Aye," Ron replied. "I wrote to you about this and was a little surprised when you didn't respond. Didn't you get my owl?"
"I did," Harry said quietly. "But the thing is, Ron-"
"Don't feel bad about not responding," Ron said, mistaking the look on Harry's face for regret at not replying to Ron's correspondence. "It wasn't like you could've helped me sort it all out. I just got too caught up with Melinda... But that's over now. I know who I want to be with; who I'm meant to be with."
"Ron-"
"I proposed to Hermione when she came back from her holiday," Ron continued. "Can you believe that? Me? Proposing?"
"No," Harry finally managed to say. "I can't."
How the hell am I going to tell him when he won't let me speak? Every single time I open my mouth he bloody cuts me off!
"She turned me down though," Ron said with a frown. "I can't really blame her since I did cheat on her and all but she just doesn't understand, Harry! What I had with Melinda was just sex. It wasn't as if Melinda and I fell in love or anything we were just having a bit of fun!"
And I suppose that since it was just a bit of fun makes it okay?
Ron stood up and started pacing in front of Harry.
"I think I just took her by surprise," Ron said, thinking out loud. "I think once she gets over this she'll see that what we have is worth fighting for. Hermione and I have had our problems in the past but I think we can work past them."
Work past them? If you'd just let me get a word in edgewise...
"Ron-"
Oh bloody hell!
"I know what you're going to say, Harry. I was a complete idiot for running around behind her back," Ron interjected. "And I was. But, Harry-if you'd seen Melinda! I really did try to be faithful, but Melinda...hmmm."
A far away expression came over Ron's face as he recalled some of his more memorable times with Melinda. Harry found it extremely difficult to keep his cool since the last thing he wanted to hear was Ron's sordid details about his affair.
"...complete knockout, Harry! She has legs that go on for days...sexy as hell! Hermione's a polar opposite. Melinda likes going out and having a good time. Hermione was happy just staying in and watching movies. That's good sometimes, but I like to go out and have a good time as well!"
"Sounds as if you and Melinda had quite a bit in common," Harry remarked dryly.
"We do," Ron said with a slightly lecherous grin. "But Melinda has a boyfriend that she loves just like I love Hermione."
Harry shook his head in disbelief. "You have a funny way of showing it."
"What?" Ron asked in surprise.
"How can you say you love her when you ran around on her?" Harry asked.
Ron looked thoughtfully at his friend. He'd considered this question many times over the past couple of days and still didn't have an answer-for himself or for Harry.
"I don't know," Ron said with a shrug. "I really don't. I'm just a bloke! I was weak but I think what happened with Melinda is going to help me with Hermione. It helped me realize that what I have with Hermione is solid. She's the kind of girl you settle down with to build a family."
Harry stood up and nearly stalked to the window trying to keep his emotions in check with each step.
"If you'd seen Melinda, you'd have done the same thing-"
"Bollocks!" Harry exclaimed and turned to glare angrily at Ron.
"What?"
"I don't understand how you can stand here and say you love Hermione when you cheated on her," Harry answered. "The thing that kills me even more is that you're saying that it's actually going to help your relationship with her! You just don't get it, Ron! You had a beautiful, funny, charming, sweet girl and it wasn't enough for you, was it? Hermione is way too good for you..."
Ron took in what his friend had just said and stared back at him as if he was seeing him for the first time.
"How would you know how she is?" Ron asked, rounding on his best friend. "How would you know anything about Hermione? You've never met her."
Harry stared back at him. He certainly hadn't planned on breaking the news this way but, he couldn't stand there listening to Ron trying to rationalize what he'd done. Harry looked away and Ron gaped at his friend's back.
"Have you met Hermione?" Ron asked coldly. "Answer me!"
Harry turned and met Ron's gaze. "Yes."
Ron nodded. It suddenly made sense as the pieces of the puzzle finally fell into place: Lupin set up Hermione's holiday and was the only one who knew where Harry and Sirius had been these past few years. Wherever they'd been, Lupin sent Hermione there. Ron didn't want to think about where his train of thought was leading him.
"How long?" he asked.
"What?"
"How long was she there before you made a move on her?" Ron asked bitterly. "Two minutes? Three?"
Harry narrowed his eyes. "It wasn't like that, Ron."
"Oh really?" Ron asked then let out a hollow laugh. "Why don't you explain what was really like then? Come on, mate, enlighten me."
Harry exhaled. "I didn't know who was she was when she first arrived. If you remember, you never mentioned her name in your letters-not until your last post-"
"I guess that explains why you never responded," Ron said sarcastically. "You were too busy shagging my girlfriend."
"Ron-"
"No," Ron said, shaking his head. "Don't you dare try and tell me that it wasn't like that! How do you honestly expect me to believe anything that comes out of your bloody mouth?"
Harry groaned in frustration. "Ron, you act as if I had some sort of elaborate plan to seduce her! I didn't know who she was until it was too late! When I found out, we tried to stay away from each other-"
"How very noble of you!" Ron spat.
Harry looked right in Ron's eyes and decided to ignore that last accusation. It was time Ron had the whole truth.
"I love her," Harry said. "Very much. You asked me for the reason I came back? It was for her, Ron. The last thing either of us set out to do was hurt you-"
"That makes me feel so much better!" Ron interjected loudly.
"It's the truth," Harry said quietly. "You can believe what you want, but that's the way it is, Ron."
Ron laughed and shook his head. "The truth? You want the truth, Harry? You...you've taken everything I've ever wanted or everything I ever had! Do you have any idea what it's like to live in your shadow? Do you have any idea what it was like to fight right alongside you and not get any credit for it? They all think you did it by yourself, Harry, and you did nothing to try and correct them-"
"Yes I did," Harry interrupted. "I tried to bring up your name. I said it wouldn't have been possible-"
"You didn't try hard enough!" Ron spat back coldly. "You wouldn't know what it's like for me because you were far too busy sucking up all the glory for yourself! Do you know the irony of it all? I believed you when you said you didn't ask for any of it!"
"I didn't!"
"You certainly took the hero's role and milked it for all it was worth!" Ron retorted. "You didn't have a family so you took mine. You didn't have a girlfriend... Now look what's happened..."
Harry wondered how long Ron had bottled all of this up inside. It was as if finding out about Hermione opened the floodgates and everything Ron had buried deep inside came spewing out of him all at once.
"I didn't take your family," Harry said in an attempt to reason with his friend. "They love you, Ron. They always have. Your mum and dad are really proud of everything you've done! You know that!"
"I don't know anything," Ron said. "I was sitting here in London while you were off shagging my girlfriend on some beach-"
"You were shagging some tart!" Harry retorted sharply before he could stop himself.
"GET OUT!" Ron bellowed. "GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY HOUSE!"
"Fine," Harry said, glaring at him before walking toward the door.
Ron, however, wasn't going to let him go that easy. He wanted to do something-to say something-that would hurt Harry at least a fraction of how Harry had hurt him.
"Hey, Harry?" Ron asked tentatively.
Harry had one hand on the knob when Ron called out to him. A voice in the back of his head told him to just walk out now, to cut his losses, but the pleading sound in Ron's voice caused him to turn around.
"You know something? It's a pity, really," Ron said and stepped closer. With a sneer, he continued speaking. "This is the first time you've gotten one of my hand-me-downs... But I wouldn't feel so special about it, she spreads her legs for anyone with a name. You must have been like the Crown Jewels to her... I mean, there was Viktor Krum, me, and then-"
Ron didn't get a chance to finish because Harry's fist connected hard with Ron's eye. Ron fell back onto the floor, his hand covering his face protectively.
"DON'T YOU EVER TALK ABOUT HER LIKE THAT AGAIN!" Harry yelled.
"Woo, the great protector," Ron said, wincing as he tried to get to his feet but Harry made no move to help him. Twelve years of friendship, in Ron's case frustration and pent-up anger, stood between the two of them.
***** ******** ********** **********
Hermione was sitting on the couch attempting to read a novel but no matter haw hard she tried to concentrate on the now blurry words, her thoughts kept returning to one person. It was almost six in the evening and Harry had been gone for quite some time. Hermione wondered what his extended visit with Ron could mean. Lavender had left for the market to pick up some groceries only an hour earlier since she'd volunteered to cook dinner tonight and Hermione wondered if Harry would be back in time. A knock at the door pulled her thoughts away from her worries and she sighed in relief as she closed her book. After setting it on the coffee table, she hurried to the door and swung it open.
"Hey," she said softly when she saw Harry standing before her, looking worse for the wear. She quickly ushered him inside and closed the door. "So," Hermione said biting her lip. "How'd it go?"
Harry smiled weakly at her. "'Not very well' would sound like heaven compared to what happened."
"That bad?"
Harry nodded.
"I'm so sorry, Harry."
He reached out and gently touched her cheek. "It's not your fault, Hermione. He's been holding a bunch of stuff in about me. I think hearing about the two of us just opened that can of worms and let it spill out."
She slipped her arms around him and hugged him tightly and he did the same. For the longest time, neither of them spoke-they just held each other, basking in the comfort each of them found in the other's arms. After some time, Harry pulled away and led her to the sofa.
"Do you want to talk about it?" Hermione asked, curiosity driving her need to know what had happened.
Harry ran a hand through his hair. "Well, let's see. I stood outside his flat for what seemed like an eternity mentally preparing what I was going to say which, I might add, was a complete waste of time because he really didn't give me much of a chance to say anything."
Hermione sighed.
"He proceeded to tell me about how he'd proposed to you," Harry continued, "that you turned him down, and once you had time to get over what had happened between him and that other girl, you'd come around."
"You've got to be kidding me!"
"I wish I were," Harry said, shaking his head. "Then he told me all about this Melinda person and..."
"And?" Hermione prompted.
"And he said he loved you," Harry said then looked away. "I couldn't just stand there and listen to him go on and on about that so I blurted out that you were too good for him..."
"And?"
"He asked me how I could know this when I've never met you," he said. "Then he sort of pieced everything together himself. Of course, he put a much different spin on it."
Hermione shook her head. "The kind of spin that made him the innocent victim in all of this I'm sure."
"Yeah," Harry said quietly. "Then he had the gall to make some shite remark about you and I hit him..."
Hermione gasped. "You hit him?"
"I wanted to throttle him," Harry said. He waited for her to ask him what Ron had said, but she didn't. For this, Harry was glad. He didn't want to tell her that anymore than she probably wanted to hear it.
"He was like a brother to me, Hermione," Harry said softly. "Other than Hagrid, he was my first real friend. He said some things today that I think he's been feeling for quite some time and I had no idea that he felt that I took everything away from him-"
"You didn't, Harry," Hermione said reassuringly. She'd heard Ron confess all of his insecurities about his best friend and knew how deep Ron's wounds were. It couldn't have been easy for either Ron or Harry to talk about these things, either for Ron to say it or Harry to hear it. Despite what Harry said, she couldn't help feeling guilty for being the cause of their rift.
As if sensing what she was thinking, Harry leaned in and kissed her softly.
"I love you," he whispered. "Nothing is going to change that."
She smiled up at him. "I just feel as if this is my fault..."
"This wasn't your fault," Harry reassured her. "And I have no regrets."
"Really?"
"Really," he said kissing her forehead. "Well...Maybe just one..."
"What's that?"
"That you'd gone to Hogwarts instead of Beauxbatons," he said, grinning at her. "And that I'd
met you first."
"Me too," she said softly, resting her head on his chest. "Can you imagine what that would have been like?"
Harry laughed. "I probably would have gotten higher marks and I imagine you'd have kept me in line. You might have saved my arse on a couple of occasions, as well."
"Please," Hermione said then began giggling. "If you'd known me back then, I probably would have saved your arse on more than a couple of occasions. I'll have you know that I am, and I quote, 'the brightest witch of my age'."
"Why do you think I'm so crazy about you?" Harry teased.
Hermione laughed and leaned back against Harry while his arms encircled her waist. They both became silent. Each one lost in their own thoughts about what had happened between each other, between them and Ron, and what the future held for them now that they were finally together.