Unofficial Portkey Archive

Author's note: I am so sorry for the three-week wait! I had a touch of the writer's block on this one and I didn't know how I wanted it to turn out. I don't know if I'm pleased with this chapter, but you guys can let me know what you think. I do sincerely apologize for making you all wait so long. Please forgive me!

Chapter Seventeen

I Deserve It

This guy was meant for me
And I was meant for him
This guy was dreamt for me
And I was dreamt for him

Many miles many roads I have traveled
Fallen down on the way
Many hearts many years have unraveled
Leading up to today

(Madonna, "I Deserve It")

Nearly a week later, Hermione found herself back at work. Everyone asked how her vacation was and there were a few mumblings from co-workers about whether or not she'd had a nervous breakdown which caused her to take a leave of absence. Hermione normally would have told them that it was none of their business and they could get back to work. But, she really could care less what they thought. It didn't matter.

She'd spent the last week of her holiday catching up with her parents and spending time with Lavender. Lavender decided it was her personal mission to get Hermione's mind off of Harry Potter, Isla Solarte and the entire Ron Weasley debacle. This, of course, involved doing things Lavender loved which mainly involved what she called "shopping therapy".

Lavender's motto was "Nothing is so bad that trying on expensive, designer clothes can't cure." She kept saying this over and over again as she dragged Hermione into shop after shop handing her dresses, trousers, blouses and shoes. She'd even managed to cajole Hermione into buying some of them, lightening her bank account, but it hadn't done much to lighten her mood.

The cold, hard truth was that she missed him.

She remembered the conversation she'd had with Lavender last night.

Hermione was reading in her favorite spot-the cushioned window seat in her bedroom. This was her comfort zone. On cold, winter nights, she'd curl up on the seat and wrap herself up in her favorite old blanket her gran had knitted for her when she was a little girl. On warm evenings, she'd open the window and just listen to the sounds of the city down below. Tonight was one of those nights.

"You know what you should do, don't you?" Lavender asked, plopping down beside Hermione on the window seat. Hermione was so lost in her thoughts that she hadn't even heard Lavender come in.

"I don't want to go shopping again, Lav," Hermione said, not looking up from her book. "And I can't eat anymore ice cream or chocolate biscuits. And I haven't rethought my decision not to follow through on that Ron voodoo doll suggestion of yours."

"He deserves it," Lavender scoffed. "But that's not what I'm talking about, Hermione. I'm not going to take you shopping again or make you eat any more rubbish or even try and talk you into voodoo revenge on that weasel…"

"Okay then, what should I do, oh Swami of Love?" Hermione asked her eyes still focused on her book.

Lavender rolled her eyes and grabbed the book from Hermione's hands.

"Hey!"

"I'll give your book back, but you're going to listen to what I have to say first," Lavender said, dog-earing the page to save Hermione's place. This was a pet peeve of Hermione's.

"Bookmark, Lavender. Don't fold the pages down like that."

"Yes, yes," Lavender said dismissively, setting the book on the floor. "Okay, do you want to hear my suggestion?"

"Apparently, I don't have much of a choice."

"Ha-ha," Lavender said. "But here's my idea-you should get off your arse and go back to Harry."

Hermione just stared at her.

"It's so easy," Lavender continued, not really sure what to make of her best friend's silence. "In fact, I'm sure you're kicking yourself for not thinking of it on your own. But... that's what I'm here for."

She sat up straight and looked quite smugly at Hermione. "Well, what do you think?"

"I think that it's not exactly that easy," Hermione replied.

"Bollocks."

"It's not," Hermione argued. "Harry and Ron are best friends. They were like that long before I even came into the picture. Harry's known me for... what? A few weeks?"

"So, that's it?" Lavender asked. "You're just going to give up on the love of your life because your ex-boyfriend's feelings might get hurt? He cheated on you, Hermione."

"I cheated on him, too."

"Just the one time," Lavender said defensively. "And your relationship with Ron was practically over by then. You and I both know it."

"Look, Lavender," Hermione said gently. "I appreciate what you're trying to do. You've been a great friend throughout this whole thing. I want nothing more than to be with Harry. If he wants to be with me, it will have to be him that makes that move. I'm not going to force him. People he cares about could get hurt if we're together."

Lavender groaned in frustration. "This is so unfair! For once in your life, Hermione, be selfish. I just don't get it. He loves you. You love him. You should be together. This is what you've always wanted."

"It is," Hermione said quietly. "But unfortunately, it happened at the wrong time. I can't sit here and think about what if this and what if that. I'll drive myself crazy. It's…"

"…unfair," Lavender interjected, "stinking, bloody, unfair."

And Lavender was right, Hermione thought to herself as she sat in her cramped office. It was unfair, but it was how it had to be.

She threw herself into her work, trying to catch up on all the things that she'd missed. The conversations she'd had with Harry kept replaying in her mind about how she wasn't really happy in this job. She'd wanted to teach. But, this job had been too prestigious to turn down. It had been quite the accomplishment for someone so young, everyone had said. But teaching…

"I heard you were back," Remus Lupin said with a wide grin. Hermione looked up from her work and laughed heartily. She stood up and walked around her desk to give him a hug. "I would have been here to welcome you, but there was an emergency meeting."

"That's okay," she said. "I'm just trying to play catch up. I wonder if Pansy did anything while I was gone."

"Not much," Lupin said apologetically. "But I expected as much."

"I'd have thought that she would have used this as her golden opportunity to show me up," Hermione said shaking her head. "Then again my little panic attack probably made her year."

Lupin laughed and sat down on Hermione's sofa. "Well, how was your trip?"

"You mean your co-conspirator didn't report the details back to you," Hermione teased.

"It was all him, Hermione," Lupin said quickly. "Sirius has never really had a great grasp of the art of subtlety. He thinks he does which can be quite endearing…"

"He certainly tried everything he could to get us together," Hermione said softly. "He didn't have to try so hard."

"Clicked right from the start, did you?"

Hermione chuckled. "I don't know if I'd say that, but we…I don't know. It just felt like I'd known him all my life. It's crazy, I know. But, I just felt like I could tell him anything."

"Sounds to me like you fell in love," Lupin said smiling at her. "And from what my 'co-conspirator' tells me, the feeling was mutual. Correction: is mutual. Sirius says Harry's been walking around like he lost his best friend…"

"No, he's still got his best friend," Hermione mused.

"I'm sorry," Lupin said genuinely. "Sirius and I really made a mess of things. We only had your best…"

"…interests at heart," Hermione finished for him. "I know. And you might have given us the push, but we certainly didn't fight it. It was like the more we tried to stay away from each other, the more we wanted to be together."

"Maybe the same will hold true," Lupin said encouragingly.

Hermione shrugged. "I don't know. But at least, I ended things with Ron."

"How'd that go?" Lupin asked. "If you don't mind me asking…"

"About as well as can be expected," Hermione replied. "He proposed…"

"He did?"

"Yeah, it threw me for a loop, too. Apparently, he thought that if we were married, he wouldn't feel the need to run around with anything in a skirt anymore. Doesn't that sound exactly like a great reason for getting married?" Hermione asked sarcastically.

"To Ron it probably did," Lupin guessed. "He's a good bloke, Hermione. He's just…he…well, I don't really know…"

"Nor do I," Hermione said. "But he is Harry's best friend."

"And there's the rub," Lupin said.

"Yeah," Hermione said, getting to her feet. "Do you know I've told myself to play these 'what if?' games because I can't change any thing now, but I can't help wondering what would have happened if I'd gone to Hogwarts instead of Beauxbatons? What would have happened if I'd met Harry first…?"

"I think Harry could have certainly used you at Hogwarts," Lupin said with a grin. "He could have used your quick thinking to get out of some of those scrapes he got himself into on more than one occasion."

"Someday I'd like to sit down with you and Sirius and you can tell me all about what he was like as a boy."

"It's a date," Lupin said, standing up. "And I have a feeling that someone else will be there, too…"

Hermione gave a slight smile. She hoped that was the case.

***** ***** ***** ****************** *************** ******************

Harry wasn't the type to sit down and weigh out the pros and cons before making a life-changing decision. He was usually the type who would do what he thought was right and just deal with the consequences---good or bad. But, here he was sitting out on the deck wondering if what he was about to do was the right thing.

This place had been his home for such a long time. It had been the only home other than Hogwarts that he'd ever truly known. It was here that Harry had finally been able to live a somewhat normal life. It was here that he was able to come to terms with what had happened with Voldemort. And it was here that he'd met Hermione. And it was because of her that he was leaving.

Perhaps, this was a mistake, Harry thought. The news media would no doubt have a field day with his return. The relative anonymity he'd enjoyed here on the islands would not exist back in England. But, as Sirius had reminded him, he was a Gryffindor after all. He wasn't the type to let something he wanted slip through his fingers just so he wouldn't be recognized on the street.

And no matter how many ways he looked at it, Harry knew that above anything else, he wanted to be with her. He just hoped that someday Ron would understand. Knowing Ron, it would probably be a long, long, long way off.

"What time does your portkey activate?" Sirius asked coming up behind him.

"About an hour," Harry answered.

"You all packed?"

"Yes, Mum."

"Smartarse," Sirius said, with a laugh.

"I learned from the best," Harry grinned.

"That you did," Sirius said puffing out his chest.

They both fell silent as they looked out onto the beach. It was going to be another beautiful day on Isla Solarte.

"Great fishing weather," Sirius remarked. "I was thinking I'd go out later."

Harry nodded. "Sirius?"

"Yeah?"

"Do you think that I'm doing the right thing?" Harry asked. "I just wish someone would tell me."

"You're actually asking me for my opinion? This is a new one for me…let me savor the moment…"

"Will you give it a rest and tell me what you think, Old Man?" Harry asked. "Yes, I want to know if you think this is the right thing."

Sirius looked thoughtfully at his godson. "I do. That job was custom made for you, Harry. And well, Hermione…that goes without saying."

Harry smiled at the mere mention of her name. He wondered what she was doing now. Had she broken things off with Ron? Was she back at work? These questions led him to the inevitable questions about what their relationship would be like under ordinary circumstances---in everyday life. Would the same feelings be there when both of them had to deal with the mundane details of their lives? Was what happened between them made more special because it had happened in an idyllic setting?

It doesn't matter. I want to see her. I want to be with her. I don't care if it's here or there. Wherever she is…that's where I want to be.

"And it's not as if you'll never be back," Sirius continued. "I mean, you're the best man in my wedding. You have to come back for the stag weekend and to help me plan all this bloody stuff."

"That's a real romantic way to describe your wedding," Harry joked. "Has Eva heard you talk like that?"

"She has and she still wants to marry me so bugger off," Sirius retorted.

Harry laughed. "I am going to miss you, Sirius."

"Of course you will, but it's not as if you're going away for good. You're growing up, Harry. It's time to make your own way."

"Without any input from you?"

"Of course not," Sirius replied. "Though I am trying to back off a little. You being away will help out a great deal with that."

Harry smiled at him. "You can drive me mad sometimes, but I don't know what I'd do without you. I'm going to miss you, Sirius."

"I'm going to miss you too," Sirius said smiling back at him. "Your life awaits you, Harry James Potter…"

*********** *************** ****************** ***********************

"You should go with me to that party," Lavender was saying as she and Hermione walked back to their flat. They'd met after work for a late dinner. Lavender ran into some workmates on the way out and they'd told her about this party someone was having at a trendy club in Soho.

"I'm not really in the party mood," Hermione said. "But you should go. I know you're dying to."

"I'm not really dying to, per se," Lavender said defensively. "I would like to go, but how I could I possibly have fun when my best friend in the entire world is feeling blue?"

Hermione laughed. "You and your flair for the dramatic. I'm not feeling blue, Lavender. I'm okay."

"Yes you are," Lavender argued. "You need to get back out there and have a good time instead of moping in the flat about H-A-R-R-Y. Besides, there is going to be some really good-looking blokes there, Hermione."

"Then you'd better get there before they're all taken," Hermione teased. "Come on, Lavender. I'm begging you. Go. You can have a good time for the both of us."

"Are you sure?"

"Positive," Hermione replied. "In fact, if you don't go, I'll never speak to you ever again."

Lavender beamed and hugged her flatmate. "Well, if you put it that way, how could I possibly refuse?"

"Exactly," Hermione said hugging her back. Lavender grabbed Hermione's arm and they ran the rest of the way back to their building. Hermione was laughing as Lavender struggled with her keys and then swung the door open practically sprinting up the stairs to their flat.

"I just need to freshen up my makeup," Lavender was saying breezily, as she went into her bedroom.

Hermione laughed and settled down on the sofa. She didn't know what she wanted to do tonight, but going to a loud party with people she didn't really know didn't sound like much fun to her.

A few minutes later, Lavender came hobbling into the sitting room. She was wearing the highest pair of stiletto heels Hermione had ever seen. Lavender had also changed outfits from her black skirt and white top to a form-fitting, cleavage baring black dress.

"Lav?" Hermione asked from the sofa. "What was wrong with what you had on before?"

"Everyone has already seen me in that," Lavender replied as if this was the most obvious answer in the world. "Besides, I'm looking to pull tonight." She twirled around. "So what do you think? How do I look?"

"Mah-velous," Hermione answered with a grin.

"Thanks," Lavender said beaming at her. As she swung open the door, she called over her shoulder "Don't wait up!"

"I won't," Hermione said with a laugh as the door shut behind Lavender.

Alone again…naturally.

Leaning back on the sofa, Hermione closed her eyes and wondered if perhaps it would be a good idea to just run a bath and then turn in early. It had been a long day. The more she thought about it, a nice, long bath sounded like a little piece of heaven on earth.

She'd nearly made it to the bathroom when she heard a knock on the door. Groaning in frustration, Hermione walked back into the sitting room and toward the front door.

"Lavender," Hermione said, opening the door. "For the last time, I'm not going with you to that party…"

Her words trailed off as she saw who was at her door. But, it couldn't be him, she thought to herself. It was only because she'd wanted to see him so badly that he was here, standing before her. This had to be some sort of dream.

"Hermione?" Harry asked her, a worried expression on his face. "I'm sorry for dropping by unannounced. But, I---"

"What are you doing here?" she blurted out before she could stop herself.

"Um, well," Harry started, taken aback. "It's, um, well the thing is…I missed you."

Hermione smiled. "You missed me?"

"Yeah."

She didn't answer him back, just continued to look at him with an unreadable expression on her face.

"This is a bad time, isn't it?" Harry asked. "I shouldn't have come by like this. This is the last time I listen to Sirius Black, I'll tell you that. It was just---"

"Shut up," Hermione interjected.

"What?"

"Shut up," Hermione said, coming closer and looping her arms around his neck. "And kiss me."

Harry smiled and did as he was told. When they breathlessly broke apart a few moments later, Harry cupped her face in his hands.

"I can't believe you're actually here," she whispered smiling shyly at him.

He touched her cheek. "I missed you."

Hermione looked into his eyes. "Show me."

With a mischievous gleam in his eyes, Harry dropped his bag by the door and then picked her up. He kicked the door shut with his leg and started to lead her toward her bedroom.

"Which one is yours?" he asked before kissing her. Not wanting to break the kiss, Hermione just pointed in the direction of her bedroom. As he opened the door, Hermione broke away and smiled at him. "Welcome home, Harry Potter."

********* ********** *********** *************** **************

The Daily Prophet offices were as busy as usual. The editors were putting the finishing touches on tomorrow morning's paper when Rita Skeeter walked in to the offices, nearly out of breath, but wearing a Cheshire cat grin.

"Stop the presses!" she chirped. "Stop the presses!"

"What are you on about now, Skeeter?" the editor-in-chief, Thomas Grant asked impatiently.

"Listen, Tommy," Rita said. "This is going to be the lead story tomorrow morning and you'll sell so many copies your head is going to spin."

"What?" Thomas asked, folding his arms. Skeeter was notorious for trying to push her stories onto the front page, but most of the time they hardly warranted making the paper at all, let alone the front page.

"Harry Potter has returned," Rita answered triumphantly.