(A/N: So! Here we are… On chapter Five. Seems like months ago when I first put this fic up. Oh! Ha! It was! Fancy that. I guess I am a bit slow about updates… To all who keep with me, I'm sorry, but, just so ya know, I've got two more chapters waiting and ready! I'll put them up, once a week… surely by the time I put those two up, I'll have more ready! Kay, well, I won't keep you from it! -Lils)
Chapter Five… James, My Love
(One more thing! To all who have read this before, I've gone through and changed a bunch of things in all the other chapters, from point of view, to grammar, to dates in the notebooks. So, you know, re-read it if you have time… But it isn't anything major, so it isn't really required! *smiles* thanks!)
-----
Friday, June 30th
James, my love,
I'm sure you already know what happened today… but I'm going to tell you anyway. We rode the Hogwarts Express for the last time. Ever. Isn't that a sad thought? I know I'm going to miss Hogwart's protective walls. I'm going to miss a lot about it, actually…
I felt like I was saying goodbye forever to all our friends when I hugged them on the platform… I don't know why; I know I'll see them in a few days, most likely, but still… There is just something about a goodbye that never goes well with me. I don't like saying goodbye.
After leaving the platform, we apparated to my house… Where my parents were completely rude to you. Okay, so they weren't rude, really, they just didn't say anything when I told them we are engaged. It really hurt my feelings. I expected them to be happy for us… I'm sure they are, deep down, they just don't know it.
I wish they could see how happy I am when I'm with you. I want them to understand us and love us both. I'm sure they will in time, though, love, so let's not worry about that now...
My last glimpse of Hogwarts will always stand out in my mind. I can still see it vividly in my mind's eye… Just like the first time I ever saw it, back in first year. You know, now that I think about it, both times, it was a damp, rather dreary day, and both times, the I'd never seen anything more beautiful than that castle looming above me. Oh, I miss it already.
So many things happened in that place… Many of which I will never forget. Do you know the one that I remember the most? It was the day you asked me to the Halloween Ball. Isn't it hard to believe that was only eight months ago? I remember how I felt every time you came into the room… My heart pounded, my knees went weak, and I could hardly concentrate on anything else. You still have that effect on me, you know.
If only I'd known how things would have turned out between us… Even I wouldn't have imagined this! Oh, but I love you more than I can put into words.
We came back from our walk a bit ago, and I have to say… I was happy when I saw my parents already in bed. It isn't like them to go to bed early, but tonight, things worked out just right.
Don't worry, I'll talk to them tomorrow morning, when I hear them get up. I know how you like your sleep, so I'm going to let you sleep in, then I'm going to go running in and jump on your bed. From what I hear, Sirius used to wake you up like that all the time. So now, it's my turn. He'll be proud to hear that I take after him some, won't he?
Well, I'm going to go see if you need anything now, because I finished my unpacking, and I told you I'd only be gone a few minutes… It's been quite a while, because I've been writing to you in here.
Just wait and see, they'll love you.
Sweet dreams, dearest.
Your Lily
-----
Sunday, July 2nd
Dear James,
I talked to my parents for a bit yesterday morning… I think they understand a bit better, now. They were nicer today, though we weren't really at home for long. We were out for the day, because you wanted to see my hometown. It made me feel really good that you were so interested in where I grew up… I think it touched my parents too, actually.
We ate dinner at a nice place near where I live- I think you had a lot of fun. It was your first time at a muggle restaurant; I had fun, just because you were there (by the way, your dancing? We'll work on that…).
Not much else really happened, except that my parents were in much better moods when we came home from dinner… I was definitely relieved when we came home, because my father wasn't staring moodily at his paper, like he normally does when he's a bit… off temper.
Well, I'm positively exhausted from running around all day, but I'll write again, soon.
All my love,
Lily
------
Wednesday, July 5th
Dearest…
You got to meet Petunia today. Aren't you so lucky?
I'm not really sure who was more surprised at her attitude… you, me, or my parents. It killed me to see her being so rude to you. Of course, she's rude to everyone she meets that has wizard blood (like when she met Emma) but that doesn't excuse it. I'm proud of you, though, you were so polite with her… I don't know how you did it. I wish I was more like you. When she says something like that to me, my anger boils over and I zing her right back. I can't help it.
Maybe it's the hair?
Yeah, we'll blame it on the hair.
Luckily, though, when Remus and Sirius came over today, they came after Pet left. I'm glad she didn't stay long. But oh, wasn't it good to see the boys again? It seems like weeks since we've seen them, doesn't it? At least, it did to me. But we had a fun afternoon with them. They're mad, though, I think. And they're till Marauders… But I think they always will be.
Well, my love, I can hear you in our bathroom, and I think you're almost done with your shower, so I'm going to put this away, because I want it to be a surprise when I give it to you, whenever that will be.
I love you!
Lily Elizabeth
------
Tuesday, July 11th
James,
We started getting really serious about wedding plans today… I never knew so much planning had to go into it! Oh, but it's going to be perfect.
We don't know exactly what we're going to do yet, but we have a general idea. For example, we know who we want to invite. And we know that we want it to be a day we'll never forget. Of course, I doubt I could forget it anyway, just because it's you, but you know what I mean. That was the simple part, I'm afraid. We have no idea where we want to have it, when we want to have it, or what time we want to have it.
Merlin, I'm tired.
I know this is a bit short, but I don't know if I can stay awake much longer. You've already been in bed for half an hour!
Love,
Lily
------
Saturday, July 18th
My love,
Tomorrow afternoon, we're apparating to your house, so I can meet your parents! Well, I suppose I've already met them, but I didn't really get to talk to them or anything. I'm a little bit nervous, anyway- but mostly excited. I've already heard so much about them from you that I feel as though I do know them very well… I only hope you haven't told them much about me- I don't want to disappoint them.
After we apparate there, we're going to dinner with them, then it's back to your house. I'm staying two weeks with you- in which we're going to start looking for a flat, somewhere in London. Isn't that just exciting!? I can hardly wait to start putting it all together. It's going to be fun. I was talking to Emma earlier today, and she says she can't wait to see me 'playing house.' I won't play. I'll really do it. I know how to take care of a house. I can cook and all those things!
I only just remembered that I'm a witch. I can do everything like that by magic!
Oh, Emma would have a fit if she saw that I wrote that. I can just hear her laughing.
Well, I imagine if I don't go soon, either you or my mum are going to come in here, telling me that it's too late to be scratching about with my quill. So I'm going to save everyone the trouble and go to bed!
Love,
Lily
P.S. I can't wait to meet your parents!
------
Friday, July 21st
James,
Your parents were… amazing. I love them! I've been here only four days, and already I feel as though I've been in the family for years. It's an incredible feeling, just to be accepted like that. They truly do seem happy for us… And I'm glad.
Tomorrow night is the dinner with both of our parents. I told mum I didn't want Petunia there the first night that your parents meet mine. I want yours to like mine first- then they can see the rather horrific part of our family. Or I should say the horrific part of our family.
Oh, how could I forget?! We went looking for flats today- the first three were absolutely disappointing, for both of us. We weren't really too sure about the fourth, and didn't really want to go to the fifth- but, oh, Merlin, it was perfect!
Everything about it couldn't have been better if we'd put it together ourselves. It's already got all the things in it we need, we'll just have to buy a few things and move in! I can't wait until we do. Our room has this big, bright window that looks out over the street, which is one full of restaurants and beautiful buildings. It's really a lovely spot. I love you all the more for finding our flat.
When we saw it, though, we practically wanted to move in on the spot. We paid for it right away- it was less that we expected, too. But hey, the less the better!
I could tell you were really excited, too, because you're eyes were sparkling in that way only yours can. I love it when your eyes sparkle. Have I ever told you that? It seems like I have, only I can't remember. Well, I'm telling you now: I love it when your eyes sparkle!
I was a little surprised that we found the exact one we wanted in only one day. Is that normal? Well, either way, it's just the one for us. And it's not at all far from the Ministry, so if we don't want to apparate one day, we don't have to!
I love the idea of waking up near you, going to work with you, then going home and getting dinner ready for us. It had a very married-feel to it, don't you think?
I can't wait for that, either.
Oh, life is just full of surprises, isn't it?!
Good night, dearie!
Loving you always,
Your adoring Lily
-----
Thursday, July 27th
Dear James,
We started moving today! I am so excited!
Or I should say we moved today. It didn't really take long, with all the magic. Our parents all came over to help set things in order. I thought it made it feel more than ever like we were married, but I thrilled in it.
I think you did, too, actually. It was nice.
Oh, I'm still so excited. I've got to go walk through our flat once more, just so I can see it all again.
Our flat. That sounds so… oh, I don't know, but I love it. Our flat. Our flat!
Lily
-----
Monday, July 31st
Today, we both had to go to the Ministry for our first day of training. Of course, they wanted us there a few weeks ago, but we both insisted. I'm glad we did.
We both had a pretty hard day of it. You had to be tested and quizzed by Moody and I had to witness endless hours of paperwork. I'm beginning to think that's all my job is about. I certainly hope not, though they say it isn't.
Well, love, we're both exhausted, so I'm going to turn out the light and go to bed.
Love you,
Lily
-----
Friday, August 11th
Dear James,
Today, you came into my office a little after lunch and told me you were called over to the French Auror Headquarters. You're going to be there for four nights! You have to leave immediately. I'm happy for you, because it must be a good thing- being called all the way over to another country's Headquarters, though I'm not sure what I'm going to do all alone! I haven't been away from you for that long since… before we were a couple!
I think you were a little happy to be going, too. I don't blame you! I'd be happy if I had a chance to get away from these stuffy old offices.
You know the sad thing is I've only been here for two weeks!
Heh- I didn't know Emma was in my office when I was writing that and she read it. She's laughing at me right now. She says I'm crazy- but that she knows exactly what I mean.
Well, she's gone now- we've decided we're going to go shopping tomorrow in Hogsmeade like we used to at Hogwarts. It could be fun, eh? Everyone knows I love to go shopping.
The thing that is really bothering me about you leaving is that you'll be missing my birthday… It's tomorrow.
I know I've never told you, so I don't expect you to know when it is, but still… It would just be neat to have you here, even if you didn't know. I hardly ever tell people when it is, unless they nearly choke it out of me. I suppose I'll have to tell you someday, anyway, that's why I'm putting this in here- so that you know when it is. That way, when you get this diary, you'll know.
At least you won't feel bad about being gone. I'd rather you not know when it is and not have to feel bad about being gone than be gone and feel horrible, as I know you would.
I think I'll skip over to my mum's house for dinner tonight. She usually has those biscuits you like so well. I think maybe eating those will help me feel closer to you, even though you're gone.
Love you,
Lily
-----
Saturday, August 12th
James…
Merlin, am I surprised! You didn't go anywhere near the French Headquarters, you little sneak!
Emma and I went to Hogsmeade to go shopping around lunch, but she didn't want to go in any of her favorite shops! She said she only wanted to walk down the street for a while, to see how things had changed. I was starting to get a bit worried when she didn't even want to stop to take a peek at the new shoes. But when we got near the Three Broomsticks, she turned and asked if I'd mind terribly if we went in for a butterbeer. She said she missed the ones from Hogsmeade- that you couldn't get any like the ones there. So, I agreed to go in with her- only to have her grin mischievously at me and shove me through the door.
If that surprised me, it was nothing next to the shock I received when I gained my balance again and looked up to see you walking towards me, with at least a hundred of our dear old friends behind you, cheering… for me.
Everyone was there! Remus, Sirius, Frank, Bobbie, Nicole, a few of the Professors- including Dumbledore- our parents, all my old friends- Marlene McKinnon, Marisa Edward, Dorcas Meadowes, Alice Hale (now Longbottom, I suppose), and more. I hadn't seen most of them since school! Of course, school was only two months ago, but you know what I mean.
It was so good to see them all!
After all the presents- of which you were my favorite- I was going around, saying hi to everyone, when I walked by Emma talking to Dorcas. I couldn't help but stand by another group and pretend I was talking, so I could hear them. Do you know what they were talking about?
You.
And how you planned every bit of that party by yourself! You invited everyone, you ordered the food, you did the decorations… I thought it was amazing before, but after hearing that, I thought it was… marvelous.
I could not have asked for anything better.
It was absolutely perfect.
I could not have asked for a better birthday present. Today was the most perfect day!
I love you, I love you, I love you!
Lily
-----
Thursday, August 17th
Dear James,
Do you know what I got called today?!
I was working late and decided that I need a strong cup of coffee, so I left to go to the break-room. On my way there, I ran into… well, his name is too hard to spell. I've met him before, though, and had him write it down once, so I'd spell it write. Guess it didn't work.
Anyway, I had a few pieces of parchment in my hands, reading through them- it was a letter I'd just received from Emma… When I ran straight into something! I fell flat on my bum. I was completely mortified, but a quick glance down the corridor told me there was no one else there. Except for the person I'd run into.
I looked up, smiled apologetically, and immediately started telling the tall stranger how sorry I was. He only grinned and held out his hand for me.
"I must not have been watching where I was going! I'm so sorry!" I said.
He nodded and gave a graceful bow. "The fault was all mine- Mrs. Potter, correct? Lily Potter?"
I was so surprised that I dropped my parchment again! He bent down to pick it back up for me- again. I could only stare, wide-eyed at him. He thought we were already married, love!
I wasn't sure whether to laugh or explain or sigh in appreciation.
Anyway, I didn't even bother correcting him! I just let him call me that. We stood there, talking for a few moments, until I realized his name. I'd gone to school with him in secondary school- and he was at Hogwarts with us. A Ravenclaw in the year ahead of us.
My point of all that was… doesn't it sound lovely? Lily Potter? Lily Potter.
Lily Elizabeth Evans Potter.
Lily Potter.
Mrs. Lily Potter.
Mrs. J. Potter
Mr. and Mrs. James Potter.
LILY POTTER!!!
-----
Tuesday, August 29th
James, dear,
Today was- is your first field job. I think I was more afraid than you were! I wasn't really afraid because I don't think you can do it- it's quite the opposite. I know you're quite powerful as an auror. I heard Frank Longbottom talking about you and Sirius and Remus- and everyone else who started auror training when you did, as a matter of fact- and he seemed really proud of you. He said you were really advanced for your age. I wasn't exactly supposed to be in that part of the building, so I had to leave pretty quick, but I couldn't help but glow with pride for you after hearing it. Since I'm not really supposed to know, I don't know what Frank would do if he found out I know, but I don't think he'd mind so much. He rather likes you.
I rather like you too, you know?
In fact, I'm positively crazy about you.
Which is why I can't wait until tomorrow, to see you. I hope everything goes all right today. I know how much you hate doing that paperwork they've had you buried under, so I was kind of pleased when you told me you were finally getting to go out somewhere. The only other first years they allowed were Sirius and Remus- isn't it odd that you three are always advancing together in your training? Do you plan that or are you all just that good?
Well, love, I supposed I should get back to my work- I've got a stack of parchment that would appall even Professor McGonagall waiting for me here.
Much love,
Lily
-----
Friday, September 1st
Dear James,
Today was a bit depressing for me. On the first Friday of every month, I get out after lunch, but today, we had more work to do than expected, so I had to stay after.
That, and you left this morning for an 'emergency situation.' I hate the thought that you're going to be heading off for a lot of those soon. Of course, like I've said before, it's a good thing, you saving people… I just hate to think of you in danger. What if something happens? Oh, there I go again, being despairing.
Also, today was the first day of classes at Hogwarts. It seems like we should be riding that scarlet engine right now, not off fighting dark wizards, throwing spells, or struggling with towering stacks of parchment, wild owls, and even wilder bosses.
I just need to get away for a few minutes… I wish that you were here, somewhere in the Ministry, like you usually are. I feel a bit more secure as long as I know you're here, that I can go talk to you if I need to. Does that make sense, love? Oh, now that I read it, it sounds so selfish…
So I'll just look forward to tonight, when you get back. And it might even be before that, we can never tell. I'm just going to pretend that you are up at your desk, and finish my paperwork. Oh, sometimes I wish I could go out and do a field job, instead of doing charms and papers.
But I'll do my best not to complain from now on. I know you don't like me to be sad, so I won't. I remember that we're both working on our dream- the one that has me and you, happily married… Maybe a child or two. We've already discussed that.
Oh, how I love you.
Always yours,
Lily
-----
Tuesday, September 5th
Dear James,
Well… You're off today on your longest mission yet. Five days- four nights. I don't really think you sounded too excited about this one- you wouldn't say, but I think it's a bit dangerous. I'm worried for you, but I know you're one of the best there and they have to have you.
There isn't really much else to say- not much else is happening anywhere today…
Be careful on your mission, dear.
Love,
Lily
------
Monday, September 18th
Dear James,
That man that I ran into in the corridor with the weird name a few weeks ago was at the Ministry again today.
But… today, I noticed he had a French accent. I've never noticed that before! Even the last time I saw him, he didn't talk that way.
He sure is secretive. I saw him many times, talking to the oddest of people- and in the oddest places. I'm not sure what he's up to, but I hope it's nothing bad. I think he might be working with the Unspeakables.
Isn't that an odd place to work? Imagine working somewhere where you can't even talk to your husband or wife about your day, because they're so secretive. I don't think I could keep anything from you… It's a good thing my job isn't secretive. Well, it is in a way, but I trust you with anything.
He even looks secretive, the way I would expect an Unspeakable to look. He's got dark hair and eyes, very dark skin, and is almost always wearing a long set of black robes with a bulky, black cloak. He even wears black boots and sometimes a pair of black gloves. Strange, isn't it?
It was another boring day, other than the mystery man.
I'm sorry my entries are getting to be so disappointing! I'll try better, love, I promise.
Miss Lily Eva- wait! It's not going Miss, according to Mr. French-accent-Unspeakable man, is it? (Giggles) It's…
Mrs. Lily Potter!
I love you, dear.
-----
Friday, September 29th
My dearest James,
Isn't it hard to believe it's already three months since you proposed? It seems like so much longer! But I don't mind. It's rather nice, in fact.
I like just living with you. It's… just normal. And right. I love waking up next to you.
Today, I'm getting off early- I don't have to come back after lunch- I can't tell you what a relief that is. I was owling your mum, so I mentioned that and she sent an owl back, wanting to go shopping. I love the idea! You're on a mission today, anyway. You probably won't be back until late, if today at all.
If I can't be with one Potter, I suppose I can be with another, eh? Oh, I'm just kidding darling.
But I do love shopping with your mum. It's always fun. She gets a bit wild when she finds something she wants. I wish you could have seen her one day, fighting over a set of robes with another woman there, close to her age. It was the last robe left in that size and color and both women claimed they weren't leaving without that robe! Well, your mum won after about… twenty minutes of pulling, shoving, and arguing. She didn't even end up buying anything at that store! She certainly knows how to argue her way to a good price, too. I hope I'll learn a thing or two from her!
Well, dear, I'm going to meet Remus and Emma for lunch, but I'll see you tonight. Or tomorrow morning. Whichever, know that I love you.
Be safe, dear!
Love,
Lily
-----
Saturday, October 7th
Morning!
Can you believe it was exactly one year ago that I started the first diary to you? It was then that I realized I fancied you. Am I ever glad that I did!
You're not here this morning, you had to go in early for work, but I'm going to meet you for lunch.
When I woke up this morning, a single white lily was on my pillow. I know you remembered what today is.
Isn't it funny how we always seem to think of the same things like that? I think it's cute when you do.
I hardly know what to do with myself today! You're working and I'm not. It's the first day for that. Oh! I do remember something I've got planned. I have a special meeting with Professor Dumbledore at eleven. I owled him last week, requesting a meeting. He told me that I should never ask, I should just show up. But I owled him anyway, because this is important and he has to agree. I'm sure he will, because it's about you, and I know for a fact that he's every bit as proud of you as I am. Well, not every bit, but he comes close.
Which is why he'll let me do what I'm planning.
I'll only tell you this for now… It's a big surprise that I've got for you for our one year anniversary.
Okay, I'll tell you one more thing… I've already gone to Alastor Moody and asked for you to have the day off on Wednesday the 25th and I'm already off. So it's all set! Now all we need is an okay from Dumbledore. But like I said! He'll agree. I know it.
Well, love, I've got to run, or I'll be late! I can't be late!
Much love,
Your Liliest Lily
P.S. He'll agree!
-----
Friday, October 13th
My Jamie,
Don't you feel sorry for those little third years who took Divination today? It's Friday the 13th- I just bet Calansky or whatever her name is will be trying to scare them out of their wits with her stories and such. Do you remember how put off she used to get with me when I couldn't remember her name? I always called her something different because I couldn't just get it quite right. I think our class found it rather amusing. I know you did!
I don't see what the big deal about the day is, really. I've never had any worse of luck on the 13th. Just because I was a little late for work (I burned your breakfast and wouldn't let you eat it, luckily you have to be in for work a little later than I do, so I made you something else), knocked a stack of parchment off Bobbie's desk three times when I was answering his calls, tripped twice in my new shoes, and nearly fell in a puddle when Alice and I were meeting you and Frank for lunch.
But that isn't enough to change my mind about the day. That stuff happens to me all the time!
Besides, Bobbie let me off work early, so I think it was a good day. And no, it wasn't because I wasn't doing anything right!
Dumbledore okayed my plan last Saturday, like I knew he would. When he said yes, I nearly got up and hugged him across the desk, but I was able to restrain myself. I did grin and thank him about twelve times, though. He even let me stay for lunch- I got to sit up at the Head table, next to him, as a guest. I wanted to go and sit with the seventh years at the Gryffindor table, as I've always been good friends with all of them, and they were only one year below us, but I didn't. I wanted to see what it felt like to be up at the Head table. It was neat, if not proper.
Well, love, I'd best go get dinner ready for us both. You're hungry, I can tell by the way you're poking around in the kitchen. I know how you are around food, so I'd better go before you blow the place up.
Love,
Lily
-----
Friday, October 20th
James,
That's it! I've finished all my plans, talked to all the right people, and have everything in order. Now all that's left if to wait for Wednesday. I'm getting rather excited, myself. I can't wait until you see what I've got planned!
That's what I'm most excited to see- your face. I'm not sure what you expect me to have planned, but it isn't this. Oh, love, I'm so excited! We're going to get up Wednesday morning, and apparate to Hogsmeade, then take a horseless carriage up to the castle, just like in the old days, then…
Well, I suppose it won't be a surprise if I tell you! Not that you're reading this now, but I think it'd be more fun this way.
Oh, I'm all fit to burst with excitement!
Your Lily
-----
Monday, October 23rd
Dear James,
I told you last night that we're both out of work on Wednesday. You begged for me to tell you what we're doing, but you won't get an answer from me! I did want to tell you, though, but I kept it to myself… I'm rather proud that I did.
It'll make it more worth it, I promise! Now, I think you're excited about it. I'm glad, because I am, too. In fact, I'm flat out looking forward to it. It can't get here soon enough.
I've also decided that I'm going to give this book to you when we go… where we're going.
It'll be the perfect day for both of us, I hope!
Well, for now, I think I'd better go, but I'll try my best to write in here once more before I give it to you.
I love you so much!
Lily Elizabeth Evans
-----
Wednesday, October 25th
James, my love,
Well… today is one year. One year.
That's one to make up for the seven, yes? Oh, I love you.
I haven't gotten you up yet, but I plan to soon. I'm going to run in the kitchen and make you breakfast first, then bring it to you when I wake you up. Oh, I can't wait to take you to Hogwarts, dear! I'm getting more and more excited the closer it gets.
I'll give this to you today, too. I'm rather excited about that, too.
But I'll hate not writing to you… But maybe, just maybe I'll get to do it again someday. You never know!
Well, love, I think I'll go start your breakfast now, so we can get this day going!
It's going to be great fun- I know you'll enjoy it!
Love you!
Your Lily-Flower Evans
P.S. Don't forget to think of me when you see this green book, too, because I'm always thinking of you!
---
Reviews are nice…
ARGH! IT'S A SHEEP!
*snickers behind hand at everyone's baffled looks*