Unofficial Portkey Archive

The Notebook by ItsLily2U
EPUB MOBI HTML Text

The Notebook

ItsLily2U

A/N: Hey, guys! I'm so, so, so sorry it's been so long! I promise not to do it again… I think. Anyway, enjoy!

--------

Tuesday, April 3rd

My Dearest Lily-Love,

I'm sure you know what yesterday was… Of course you do. It was the day you finished all of your Healer training… I couldn't be more proud of you, you know.

When I came home from work yesterday afternoon, I thought an angel must have found its way into our flat… But it was you. A beautiful smile was your only adornment, as you aren't allowed to wear anything "flashy" in training (we sill have yet to understand this concept), other than the pin with your name on your lime-green robes (a very, very bright green)… Oh, but your smile… I fell in love with you all over again, just because of it.

I really am glad you started training at St. Mungo's. I think you like it better… actually, I know you do. We still have a good laugh over the way Bobbie offered you everything from a better office to a raise if you'd stayed. Poor bloke.

Aren't our mums having the time of their lives with our wedding plans? I was a little afraid of their enthusiasm at first, but now, I think it's rather sweet… in a very mother-ish way. They just want to help, I suppose. Actually, I'm not too sure who is more excited about our wedding- me and you or our mums. Strange, isn't it?

Speaking of which… I just heard someone knocking- must be your mum. We invited everyone over for dinner tonight… Or I should say you invited everyone over for dinner tonight. You're the cook of the house.

Love,

James

--------

Wednesday, April 11th

Good morning, Lily-love!

I was looking through the other notebooks that we've written to each other in and I noticed something. April eleventh was the first time you ever told me you loved me. Neat, isn't it?

Ah, I just thought I'd put that in here.

Love you!

James

--------

Friday, April 13th

Ha! It's Friday the thirteenth!

I imagine those poor little third years are dreading having taken Divination, don't you? She always laid it on rather thick on Friday the 13th

I'm glad we're not there, and yet… I wish we were. Now, I love living in our own flat, and getting to be with you all the time, but I also miss classes (I cannot believe I just wrote that!) and pulling pranks on the Slytherins. Not harmful pranks, mind you! Just the occasional one to make everyone laugh…

But I guess the boys and I could still prank the Slytherins… or the ex-Slytherins, I suppose it would be… Ha. I'll have to ask Sirius and Remus what they think about that. We could prank the Death-Eaters instead of dueling them! Wouldn't Moody just love if I suggested that? I can see him now, narrowing his eyes and grinding his teeth. "What're you thinking, Potter? Get back to work! Constant vigilance!"

I remember the last time it was Friday the thirteenth, do you? It was last October… and a very rainy one. You'd been having a rather tough day of it.

Actually, now that I think about it, I really don't like it when Moody grinds his teeth. It's a horrible habit… And I tell him so just about everyday.

No wonder it's always me that has to copy paperwork.

Actually, it's not always me- it's more Padfoot than anyone, but you know…

Love,

Jamsie-Boy

--------

Wednesday, April 18th

--------

Sunday, April 29th

My Lily-love,

Can you believe it's been ten months? Ten months since I asked you to marry me. Seems like forever ago! Not that I mind, of course.

We're going out later to celebrate… Eating at your favorite place, of course. Actually, it's slowly becoming my favorite place to eat, too, just because I take you there so much. They have good steak…

It doesn't ever really feel like-

Oh, I can hear you calling, love. You're ready to go! Goes fine by me, I have to admit, I am rather hungry…

I'm going to go… but it's to you!

I love you, Lily-love!

Your James

--------

Sunday, May 6th

Lily,

It's been one year since we won the Quidditch Cup! That was a tough game, too. I remember it well…

We started off nicely- but only managed to get up by ten points. Really, that isn't so bad, but we'd done loads better. I can still see the way the Bludger was hit at that Lymon bloke- the look on his face, as he dropped the Quaffle… it was great. I never thought I'd see that scared look on a Slytherin's face… Never want to again, either. It was actually rather scary.

But do you know what I remember most about that day? Breakfast.

The team had all gotten up a little early, found the best seats at the table, and was just digging in to our bacon and toast, when you came in…

You were wearing muggle jeans and a sweater- I don't know why I remember that so well, but I do… Anyway, you came and took a seat next to me- the one I'd saved for you- but didn't even bother looking at the food, or any of the people there. No, your eyes were solely on me, not anyone else. I loved it. Then, as though you had no idea there were other people there, you leaned forward a bit, smiling, and said, "You know what, James? I love you." It wasn't quiet or timid 'I love you', either… No… And I loved it.

All I could do was grin! Everyone stopped eating and talking to watch us, as you leaned forward to kiss me. I know I'll never forget that kiss.

Well, Miss Lily, do you know what?

I love you, too!

Always have, always will.

I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you.

Marry me?

Oh, wait… That's right! You already agreed, didn't you?

Only a little under two months, dearest…

Loving you always,

James

--------

Tuesday, May 15th

--------

Monday, May 21st

--------

Tuesday, May 29th

Dearest Lily,

We only have one month left to wait!

It doesn't really seem like all that long anymore, does it?

We went today to pick out our rings. We got matching silver bands… I rather like them. I tried to talk you into something a little more fancy, but you wouldn't let me. So, instead, we got the same ring, in different sizes, with engraving… Though I don't know what you engraved in mine and you don't know what I had put in yours.

You're brilliant for coming up with that, you know. Absolutely brilliant.

I wonder what our parents will think of them? We've both decided, though, to wait before we show anyone else. That way, we'll get to see our own ring first… Then other people, if we let them.

Tomorrow is your first day off in a while, isn't it? You've been working so hard, love, it would be impossible for me to not be proud of you. I really am.

I'm very glad you like working there better.

You're going to eat lunch with your family, and I'm going to spend a few hours with Moony and Wormtail. Sirius has to work, unluckily for him. Poor bloke.

Love,

James

--------

Sunday, June 3rd

Lils…

The last twenty-four hours have been the worst in my entire life, love. Words don't even begin to describe.

We both know that I got called away last night around midnight on one of my "urgent auror-things…" But what we didn't know was where, why, or who was attacked. We never know until we get to Ministry… Well, when I did, almost everyone from the Accidental Magic Reversal Squad was in the middle of leaving. I felt like I was in the middle of a hippogriff charge, between the owls, aurors, extra wizards, and the occasional Healer. Complete pandemonium.

Well, I was just reaching the middle of the Atrium, when I saw Moody walking toward me… And I have to say, I've seen him sad before, but it was nothing to the look on his face just then…

I don't even know if I can write it, love…

I'm so sorry, Lily… I know nothing I can say right now will make it any better, because they were your parents, but I want you to know that I'll always be here for you… To hug, to cry on, to hold you, to yell at… Anything at all for my Lily-love.

I'm going to go check on you again, just to be sure you're still asleep. I hope you are, though, because you did take a potion for dreamless sleep… Not that you wanted to, but I talked you into it.

But… do you know what the absolute worst part of today was for me?

When I had to apparate home and tell you the news.

Always here for you,

Your James

--------

Tuesday, June 5th

Dear Lily,

Do you know that you never cease to amaze me? It's always something different, too. Today, it was at your strength. You're willing to do anything once you've set your mind to it.

We've both stayed at home the last two days; you did, because I begged you to, I did because I want to be with you. Anyway, you got up around eleven, and asked me if I would mind going out to lunch. I was shocked- not only because you seemed to look and feel much better, but because you actually wanted to eat… and go somewhere. I've been trying to get you to eat since Sunday…

We went to your favorite restaurant, Hal's. It was like one of our normal dates, except that I spent most of my time trying to read your real emotions.

When we got back home, though, you broke down completely in my arms… I'll never forget the look on your face. It made me wish I could take every ounce of your pain in my arms and put it into myself.

And it made me love you even more, somehow. We sat there for a long while, thinking and talking… until I was forced to ask the question I'd wanted to ask more than any other…

"Lils," I said. "Do you… we can put off the wedding, if you need to. I'm still here- always will be. Time doesn't matter to me." I felt horrible asking, too. I didn't even know if it was the right time to say anything about that… If there ever is a right time. I just wanted to show you that I'm here… And I love you.

But you just turned to me and smiled. True, it was a rather weak smile, but it was something. I love any smile, as long as it's from you. "My parents were looking forward to seeing us married. They couldn't wait… I can't wait. Or… I don't want to."

"I know, love, I know. Me neither." I put my arms around you and that was that.

But… later in the afternoon, we were sitting together in the living room, when you looked up at me, your face streaked with tears and said, "James? Do you know what the last thing daddy said to me was?" very quietly.

I, of course, had no way of knowing… so you continued. "He said, after hugging me goodbye at the restaurant, 'Lily, my little girl, all grown up. Hard to believe, it is… And, before I know it, I'll be walking her down the aisle, to give her away. Much as I don't want to let go of her, it's time someone else takes care of her. I can't be the only man for her anymore.' He said that to me, James. Then, he touched my nose with the tip of his finger like he used to do, and walked away, hand-in-hand with my mum. It's almost like they knew it was the last time we'd ever see each other!"

By that point, I was crying, too… Now, as a Gryffindor wizard, I'm very manly and all that, but Lils, what you said affected me more than anything I've ever heard in my life.

Well… I'm going to make you another cup of tea- ½ spoon of honey, just the way you like it.

All my love,

James

--------

Friday, June 8th

Dear Lily,

Today wasn't much fun- for any of us.

It was the funeral.

We all cried.

Even Sirius, who I strongly remember swearing to me in second year that he had never cried before in his life, and never would.

It wasn't a very long ceremony, which was probably a good thing, especially for you. There were a lot of people there- some of which didn't seem all that nice. By that, I mean that Vernon Dursley was there.

It was all I could do to keep Sirius from biting a few of their heads off… And I know you didn't hear him, but even Remus was growling at a few of the ones that came up and said how "sorry they were." They didn't sound sorry. I even saw Remus rolling his wand between his fingers when Vernon walked by.

I wish you would've let us hex a few of them.

But we didn't; I don't think we could've been that good for anyone else, only our Lily-flower.

Well, love, I'm exhausted… I suppose you were, too, as you fell asleep the moment we got home.

I had to go over to Remus's to get dinner, but that's okay.

I love you, dear… Sweet dreams!

Love,

James

--------

Thursday, June 14th

You asked me today what I thought about you having Remus walk you down the aisle… All I can say is that I've never been more happy for one of my best mates. It really is an honor- I can't imagine Moony saying anything but yes… I even wish I could do it, but I can't, because you're going to be walking to me. Oh, love, I can't wait.

You're going to make the most beautiful bride, do you know that?

And the best wife.

And the most mother-ish mother, when the time comes.

But for now, I can't wait to see my beautiful bride. I'll bet anything that you're going to take my breath away…

Oh, how I love you.

So, on June 29th, you're the bride, I'm the groom, Emma is the maid of honor, Sirius is the best man, and Remus is walking you down the aisle…

It's going to be the best day of my life.

Love,

Your Jamsie

--------

Saturday, June 16th

Lily, dear,

This morning, I got up early… I went looking for a house for the two of us.

I found two that I love… Both are small- but not too small… They're both in muggle communities, but very nice ones. I looked around and talked with some of the neighbors in both places… I really like both. I'm going to take Sirius and Remus to look at them tomorrow, so I can get another opinion… or two.

I'm really happy, because I thought it was going to be a lot harder to find one I liked. Well, on my first day of looking, I found two that took my breath away. I like different things better about each, but one of them I think you'll like more than the other… That's the one I'm really thinking about, though I am still considering both.

I told you I was going in to work to check on a few things… So you don't know that's where I was! I'm going to have us all moved in by the time we come back from our honeymoon, love, I promise… I can't wait to see your face when you first realize we have our own house…

Not just a flat, or an apartment… But a house.

Our own house.

I had to hurry to the Leaky Cauldron to meet you and Moony for lunch…

I'll never forget the look on his face when you asked him to walk you down the aisle. He's never been happier, love, I can tell you that.

He really does feel honored that you asked him. I'm so proud… of both of you. I can't explain it, really, but I am, love.

And your happy tears, I loved those, too. I remember the smile you got on your face when he said that he would… I'll admit, he was completely shocked that you asked him, but it was definitely a good thing… I know it was, just because of how he acted when you did.

He loves you, too, you know. Maybe not in the same way that I do, but he still loves you. You're the little sister, the best friend… our Lily.

We could never live without you, now that you've found your way into our hearts, love.

Loving you,

James

P.S. Merlin, does that sound cheesy… But I mean it.

--------

Tuesday, June 19th

Lily-love,

Today was certainly a busy one…

Very busy, truth be told.

Wasn't so bad, though. We were just finishing up all the plans for our day. You went and bought your dress robes. I think all your friends went, plus my mum. From what I've heard, you look absolutely exquisite in the robes you picked…

We're so close… It's only a week away, now! Well, a week and three days, but it's close enough.

Only one week…

Okay, so maybe it isn't all that manly or Gryffindor-ish of me, but I'm nervous. But I'm only a little nervous- it's more excited than anything, believe me, because I can't wait!

WE'RE GOING TO BE MARRIED IN A WEEK!!

I can't wait, I can't wait!

My stomach is filled with butterflies… and snitches. Thousands of them.

Oh, love, I'm exhausted…

Good night, dearest.

Love,

James

--------

Thursday, June 21st

Lily-

I skipped lunch today and I bought it! I bought our house.

It's all paid for…

Just waiting for us to move into it.

I think I'll ask my mum and dad to move our things… The morning of our wedding, you're taking all your things to King's Cross, so you can just get ready on the train on our way there… So I think I can have Sirius, Peter, and Remus here with me, and after you leave, we can do a quick spell that can pack all our things.

That way, the day we come back from our honeymoon (at Hogwarts), I'll be able to carry you through the front door of our first house. Our house.

It's my wedding gift to you… Very worth it, I must say.

I'm terribly excited, but I'd best go back to work, love… Much as I certainly don't want to.

Love,

James

--------

Monday, June 25th

My dearest Lily,

FOUR days! Can you believe it? I can't!

Oh, but I can at the same time.

I'm so happy.

We've been a couple for one year and eight months, now, too…

I've never been so happy that I asked you to go to the Halloween Ball with me. I never dreamed that you would say yes. Maybe persistence really does pay off? I could never be as happy with anyone else as I am with you, you know that?

I hope you do.

Four days…

All that I have left to do is pick up my robes. Not much, is it? You've not really got much, but I think you have more to do than me. It's always easy on the guy, though, according to Sirius, because all he has to do is get dressed and sit around with his mates. Girls have to do all that fluffy hair, makeup, dress stuff, and let their friends fawn over them.

Well… I say that now, but I bet when I see you, I'll be wishing I could fawn over you, too.

I just heard you apparate home, so I'd better put this away… Don't want you to know I'm writing to you, do I?

All my love,

Your James

-------

Tuesday, June 26th

Lily,

Well, I bought my dress robes today. They don't look so bad in them, either, I must say. Sirius, Remus, Peter, and my father went with me. It was actually quite fun, just us blokes.

It's feeling more and more real as the days go by, don't you think?

Real is good, though.

I like real.

Three days, love…

Three days until there is a Mrs. James Potter.

Ooh, I like that… I think I'll write it again, just so I can see it…

Mrs. James Potter.

Mrs. Lily Potter…

Lily Potter.

I like that!

Love,

Your James

-------

Thursday, June 28th

Lily-love,

Tomorrow is our day… In fact, it's almost Friday, really. Only a few minutes.

The Marauders went out tonight… The last time we'll ever do so- as unmarried men, that is.

It was fun… but sad, in a way.

We just went over to the Three Broomsticks, in Hogsmeade, for old times sake. After that, we went up to the school, around the forest… Just to look.

I've never seen anything so beautiful as the castle tonight.

Or… I thought so, until I came home and found you in bed. Your hair was all down, and around your shoulders, your lips were parted ever-so-slightly, and you were smiling. You looked beautiful…

I almost woke you, just to tell you how much I love you.

But I didn't. Instead, I sat down on the windowsill, so that I can just see your face as I write. That's where I am right now.

I don't know how you do it.

You're amazing.

Love,

James

-------

Friday, June 29th

Good morning, Lily-love!

It really is a good morning. Beautiful, really… Though not as beautiful as you. I know there is all that nonsense about the groom not seeing the bride before the wedding, but I couldn't help but watch you sleep when I woke. You just looked so sweet, I couldn't move.

It's the best way to wake, I can tell you.

You woke up about thirty minutes ago… You smiled as soon as you opened your eyes and saw me. I loved it.

But then, you remembered the "rule." Merlin, I don't love that. You put your hand over my eyes, and kissed me, though, so it wasn't all bad. But then, you put the pillow over my face and got your things…

"Love you!" Was the last thing you said. Not bad last words for an unmarried witch. Not bad at all.

I rather liked it.

Oh, I can hear Padfoot digging about in the kitchen… He's never been a breakfast person, I can tell you… Probably looking for whatever he thinks we ate. Well, looks like we're going to be going hungry until after the wedding. I'll have to hear about it all day, too.

Oh, but you're worth it, dear.

I'm going to go intervene while the flat is still in once piece… I've got a bit of packing to do, don't I?

We'll never be in this flat together again…

That's almost a sad thought, really, when you think of all that's happened here. It's our flat…

But we're about to be married… And have our own house, aren't we, Mrs. Potter?

I love you!

James

-------

Friday, June 29th (Again)

My Lils,

Well, this is it! We're both at Hogwarts- as are our 100 or so guests…

Are you ready? I am.

Sirius, Remus, Peter, and I are sitting here in the dorm we had when we were in school. The boys are all a little excited… Maybe we shouldn't have allowed Sirius to stop at Honeydukes on the way here…

My excitement isn't from the sugar, though… It's from you.

As soon as my father comes up here to get us, we're going outside, where everyone will be seated…

When I look out the window that overlooks the forest and the lake, I can see part of the pathway where the carriages are. They've only just left the train, so if we start down right now, we'll get there just ahead of them… So now, all that's left is for me to wait for you.

I can only imagine how completely lovely you're going to be. Of course, I can imagine it now, but when I see you, it will probably take me away. I don't doubt it will, actually… You seem to have that effect on me quite often, love.

I want to tell you something… I love you. Did you know that?

And I can never tell you how happy it makes me that today is our day. Our Big Day…

Can't wait to see you, my Lily-love!

Your James