Unofficial Portkey Archive

"Let me give you a tip:
Get out of my sight, get off of your knees
Get out of my face, get out of my sleep
Get out of my space
How long do I have to show and tell,
Scream and yell?
Get over yourself!"
- Get Over Yourself, SHeDaisy

Deer to Me
Chapter One

Once in a while, every girl has a bad day. Lily Evans, 6th year witch attending Hogwarts School of witchcraft and wizardry was no exception.

The first thing that happened was she woke up this particular morning with a headache and stuffy nose. That never did bode well for her. She also had trouble sleeping the night before. For some reason, she could not close her eyes and sleep, but kept mulling over thoughts that centered around her future, NEWTs, her Transfiguration test, and two fellow Gryffindors, who had tricked a first year into eating a bewitched apple and his nose had grown five feet.

Said Gryffindors had continued to worsen her day when they had hexed a Slytherin fourth year from behind a statue. Lily had it on good authority that said Slytherin was one of said Gryffindor's brother. Still, it didn't stop her from going to McGonagall and requesting points be taken away. She would just earn them back in their next class, Herbology.

She failed to earn the points back in Herbology because they were studying something Slytherins obviously knew more about than she did. Plus she had to endure taunting from them, and that was never a good thing.

Had to take more points away because same Gryffindors hexed Severus Snape, their favorite target, citing that he had been rude to her in Herbology. She had to 'patiently' remind them that he was not apart of the taunting, and more points went away.

To make her day oh so much better, herr period decided to show up out of NO WHERE during Care of Magical Creatures that day, along with body-bending cramps. She had to make up a very lame excuse to Professor Kettleburn and run back to the castle.

Finally, her school day was over. Now it was time to do her homework. That wasn't going so hot. First, she couldn't figure out how to begin her scroll for history. She started off with something not even remotely well-written, scratched that out, then began anew. Her next try ended badly because she kept misspelling every thing she wrote. Her third attempt went fairly well (except that half of the parchment was covered in ink blots from previous attempts) until she sneezed right on her paper. All of her somewhat well-written words were now covered in Merlin-knows-what.

With a strangled cry, Lily threw her parchment across the room. A few people looked over at her, but the rest ignored her as she retrieved the mistreated product of her tantrum to recopy it on a new piece of parchment. But when she turned to go back to her table, so clearly marked with her own things strewn from one end to another, someone was sitting at it.

And it wasn't just someone she could politely remind that she was sitting there and she was in a very bad mood and it would not be wise to continue the habitation of said claimed chair, either. It just had to be someone who had first been a part of the cause of her bad day. She was positive that he would mock her for her display of anger, then run his hand through his hair like the arrogant bastard he was and then have the AUDACITY to ask her on a date. AS IF Lily wanted to date that prick, which she DIDN'T.

"Hm...Evans love, you could have put an eye out." The target of her wrath stated very nonchalantly.

"What?" Lily retorted, trying to keep some sort of her famous temper under control.

"Throwing things across the room like you just did." He slid backwards in his chair and put his hands behind his head. "You could have put someone's eye out."

"Potter, today is not a good day," Lily stated through clenched teeth. "Get away from my table."

"Oh, is this your table?" James said. "Well, there's a little bit of space here for me, don't you think?"

"No."

"You got up."

"Potter, we are not first years any more. Can't you come up with a comeback that's at least your own age?"

"I know you are, but what am I?" That nearly sent Lily over the edge as she balled her hands into fists.

"Why can't you go sit at another table?" she spoke through clenched teeth.

"Because they're all full," he said, without looking around. Lily raised her eyebrow at him. There were about five people in the common room, as most everyone else was outside enjoying what was left of the afternoon.

"Really?"

"I...don't want to be alone at a table," James said, smiling at his own cleverness.

"Your best friend is right over there," Lily said, slowly losing what iota of her patience was left. Sure enough, his partner-in-crime was over by the fireplace, along with the rest of James's cohorts.

"Oh him. He can get really annoying sometimes."

Lily had never, ever, considered hurting another human being in her entire life. But right then, she was about an hair's breath away from socking James Potter right there in his arrogant little mouth. She let out a huff of air and sat down where she was before, pulling her history essay in front of her and copying it very neatly and precisely. She even found some good in her wasted parchment, it served as good scratch paper for her outline and-

Dear Merlin, was he singing now!!!

"James will you PLEASE be quiet?"

"Oh, was I singing aloud?" he said, very innocent-looking.

"YES!"

"You could have just politely asked me to be quiet, you know. You don't have to get your knickers in a twist."

"You...." Lily started but then went back to her essay with increased fervor. But now she couldn't concentrate. Just him sitting there was enough to drive her over the edge. She was waiting for anything, ANYTHING, any excuse to jump at him. She was just in one of those kinds of moods.

Suddenly, he coughed. A little clearing of the throat. Barely a noise. But it was enough.

"That is IT!" she exclaimed, taking her things and walking out of the common room. James looked at her with a funny expression and then shrugged it off. He looked around the common room and trotted over to Sirius.

"We going?"

"Waiting on you, mate," sirius said. "What was with Evans today?"

"I dunno. Probably on her period or something," James said.

"Most likely," sirius said. "So where we going tonight?"

"I thought we'd go see what's happening in the Forbidden Forest," James said. "What do you think?"

"Sounds like a good idea. Where's Moony?"

"Prefect duties," James said, upturning his nose. "I swear, ever since Dumbledore picked him for that damn job, he's been no fun."

"What about Wormtail? Where's he been?"

"Who knows," James said. "Looks like it's going to be just us after a while."

"At least until the next full moon," sirius added with a grin.

Life was so much more simpler when one was an animal. All of his odd feelings from puberty and red-heads virtually disappeared. All of his thoughts, though still there, just seemed much more serene.

Sirius was already ahead of him in the forest, chasing after some bird or something. James was taking his time, stretching his legs and feeling the wind in his fur and through his antlers. Suddenly, he stopped, pricking his ears up to listen.

"...damn asshole. Thinks he owns everything. Probably does, too. Spoiled brat..."

I know that voice. He trotted over to a clearing just on the edge of the forest where Lily was hunched over her homework, her wand a lit above her head and stuck into a hole in the tree. She had gotten a fair amount done, as evidence by her closed books, but she was still a long way to go.

James edged closer, his animal nose picking up her scent from yards away. He jumped when he stepped on a twig, and Lily looked up to see him. She gasped and James was half-intent to run away.

"What a gorgeous stag," she breathed. James realized that she didn't know who he was. He stepped back, a little hesitant of her when she stood up and approached him. "I didn't know that deer lived in the Forbidden Forest."

She reached a hand out and touched his fur. James twitched involuntarily at her cautious touches, but soon relaxed.

"You are so beautiful," she said, moving her hands up to pet his face. "And so calm."

As long as you keep petting, love. James's skin was crawling with her touch, and it sent tingles up and down his spine.

"You have his eyes," Lily stated, startling James. Who's eyes? He thought. Lily continued in her absent-minded conversation."Though I like yours better. James's are more arrogant. More self- satisfying."

Oh really? But you are talking about me, aren't you Lily. So you do think of me as something other than a bullying toe-rag. He felt cold when she left him to go back to where she had been sitting.

"I really hate him sometimes. He just rubs me the wrong way. I can't stand those arrogant guys that strut around thinking everyone's going to fall at their feet." James swivelled his head to look at her.

Do I strut?

"But then again, who could blame him. He's smart, funny, great at sports, not to mention he's got this beautiful body and this killer" James was pleased that she was about to say 'bum', but she trailed off "...well, you get the picture." Lily laughed a little and James was pleased to notice a blush on her face.

You bet your sweet ass I do. I was right, you CAN'T resist my charms!

"Merlin, if he ever found out that I thought that, I don't think Hogwarts built doors big enough to fit his giant head."

Hey!

"Well I suppose it's all for the best that I can't stand him. He'd be perfect if he didn't have that arrogant air about him, and then where would we all be? There don't need to be perfect people in the world." Lily sat back down on her thinking spot and went back to work. James just stood there watching her.

"I thought you'd have left by now," Lily said, looking up at him. "I can't do my work with you staring at me like that."

But I could stare at you all night.

Lily looked up at the darkening sky above her. "I suppose I'll go in. Maybe that toe-rag's gone from the common room."

Wow, I went from killer ass to toe-rag in less than a minute. James lowered his head and nuzzled at the grass in embarrassment.

Lily gathered up her stuff and turned to him once more. "Well, I suppose I'll see you around." She walked towards him and gave him one last pet around the antlers. "Wish me luck against the prick."

This perception of me must change.

James burst into the 6th year dormitory and ran over to Sirius's bed. The curtains were drawn. He knocked on the wooden post. "Hey! Padfoot! I got something to tell you!"

He heard a sigh from inside the curtains. "Kinda busy right now, Prongs." He heard a feminine giggle.

"But this is important!" James whined.

"Next time your with a girl, James. Next time," Sirius muttered, throwing open the curtain. He was shirtless and so was the girl he was with. James recognized her as a 5th year. Sirius winked at her and shut the curtains behind him.

"What?"

"Nice," James smiled at him. Sirius rolled his eyes.

"What?"

"Guess what just happened?"

"What?" Sirius guessed. "Aliens landed?"

"No, I..." He took a glance at the bed and moved Sirius to the other side of the room. "I was in the Forbidden forest and guess who I found."

"The Minister of Magic?" Sirius rolled his eyes. "Hurry up."

"Lily," James grinned. Sirius blinked at him and then looked back over to the bed.

"You pulled me away from that to tell me that you found Evans in the forest. You are so dead."

"No, no. I was as a you-know-what, so she didn't know it was me," James said. "So then she started talking about how she hates me and whatnot-"

"James, if you didn't learn anything, I'm going to strangle you-"

"-I also learned that she thinks I have a sexy ass," sirius paused for a moment and then went back to the bed.

"Come get me if you learn anything Earth-shattering."

"But-" Sirius curtains closed and the girl behind it giggled and moaned.

"Hmph," James frowned at him. "Maybe Remus will understand."

He found his studious werewolf downstairs helping out a second year with a Swelling solution. Once the second year saw James come downstairs, he ran away in fright and Remus gave him a tired look.

"Must you always do that?" he sighed.

"What?" James shrugged. "I didn't do anything."

"What's on your mind." Remus asked. James related his problem to Remus. Remus tapped his quill on the table and listened patiently to James's story. His face changed from one of interest to one of indecision to one of caution.

"So what do you think?" James asked.

"James, I'm going to caution you," Remus said. "It sounds like you have stumbled across a way to listen to Lily's most private thoughts. Not to mention that you aren't her favorite person in the world and if she found out, she would be very hurt and feel very violated."

"Can't imagine why?" Remus wasn't surprised to see that James was serious about that statement. He was good at about everything else, except sometimes he had a tendency to gloss over other people's feelings to make him happy.

"James, I'm your friend, right?"

"Of course you are, Moony," James smiled at him.

"Then as your friend, I'm going to advise you against taking this route to get to Lily. It is just going to end up in a lot of pain for her and you probably won't get what your going for.

"Gee thanks a lot Moony," James frowned at him and stood up. "Something good happened to me and you're all pissy about it."

"Prongs, I-" Remus called after him, but he was on the other side of the room, where Peter was struggling with his homework.

"Hey Wormtail," James said. Peter looked up happily.

"Hey James!" James went into detail about his encounter in the forest and Peter was grinning the whole time.

"That's great, Prongs!"

James sighed. Good ol' Wormtail.