Unofficial Portkey Archive

Suppose I said
That I'm on my best behavior?
...Would you want me when I'm not myself?
-Not Myself, John Mayer

Chapter Fourteen

Other than the fact that there was almost certain death and death probably wouldn't come swiftly, James realized another reason why there were only eight students who signed up for the program the next day when Professor McGonagall assigned them a 3 foot essay on human transformations gone wrong, due in a week. Then, they had to begin researching Patronus Charms for Flitwick. Plus their nightly classes, they had only the weekend to get a week's worth of homework from all 6 of their classes, unless they wanted to stay up all night.

James grumbled about it all, but then when he looked to his left (where Remus usually landed himself), he felt even worse. Remus had apologized the next morning for being in such a foul mood, but both Sirius and James agreed that he didn't have to. They stuck by him protectively and James even did a quick Copy Charm so that Remus could sleep in History of Magic and his notes would be copied as James wrote them.

However bad their day was, the evening faired much better. James noticed that no one really had much of an appetite during dinner, but Frank was looking quite pleased with them all. In fact, at their Auror class that night (Remus insisted that he go, even if it pained him to walk), Frank told them all some very good news.

"Congratulations, you have all passed the first test of the Auror classes," he beamed. At the complete confusion on everyone's face, he elaborated. "The first character test, I mean." He paused and thought for a moment. "Actually, in a real class, this would be about the fifth, but Minister Bagnold wanted to make sure that you had the stuff to take all this information in during a sped-up course. Which is why you should all be proud of yourselves."

"But what's the test?" Sirius asked.

"The test is quite simple. I tell you about the stomach-churning Polyplenus potions. You study their effects. If you come back sane, you pass," Frank said, his eyes sparkling.

"So those are the character tests?" James asked, incredulous.

"It is the best way to figure out whether or not wizards and witches can take the things that will be presented to them. Normally, there is a build up to the Poluplenus potions so the shock is not so great. But you eight are obviously made of stronger stuff than some full-fledged wizards."

Nobody was too proud of that.

"Now, we're going to start on certain charms that come in handy-" Seeing the looks on their faces, he laughed. "Don't worry. This isn't as bad as the Potions. Because you all did so well, we'll stave off some of the more disturbing aspects of Auror work for a couple of weeks."

After class, Remus said a hasty goodbye to James and Sirius and headed to the hospital wing, limping the whole way. Siris and James stood and watched him leave with pity on their faces. But they doubled their efforts in class the next day to keep Remus up-to-date on everything that he needed for classes.

When 4:30 came around the next afternoon, and James was about to take his first bite of dinner, he realized with a very hard pang that they would be in class during Remus' most painful time, his transformation. He told this to Sirius in a hushed tone during their dinner while Peter was chatting merrily with the Prewitt twins.

"So what are we going to do?" Sirius asked. "We can't just skip class. I'm already behind as it is. Those charms were a pain in the ass."

"Maybe one of us can slip out saying we're going to the bathroom."

"It's possible, but won't that raise even more questions?" James asked. "I mean, I don't know if Frank knows whether or not he's a you-know-what."

"Ok, I'll go tonight, all right?" Sirius said. "And I'll just....talk with Flitwick or something." James nodded and looked down to the end of the table where Lily was picking at her food silently next to Emmeline. "But how am I going to skip class?" Sirius asked.

James thought for a moment. "Maybe, you can come a few hours late. You can say that you had detention for something and had to come later."

"What if he checks?" Sirius asked.

"Then he checks." James shrugged. "Though, I think he's too daft to wonder." Sirius raised his eyebrow at James.

"What now?" Sirius asked. "Why don't you like Frank?"

"Surely you see the way that Frank stares at Lily," James said. "It's indecent."

"I'm sure it's nothing," Sirius gulped down his milk. "He's a professor."

"Who left school three years ago," James reminded him. "He's not that old."

"I think you need to get over it, mate." Sirius stood up and grabbed his bag. "I mean, she was staring at you all throughout class today."

"What?" James felt his piece of roll get stuck in his throat.

"Yeah. And at the train station, she couldn't keep her eyes off of you." He stretched and put his bag over his shoulder. "So if he has any intentions, which I doubt, she's pretty much sending signs that she's interested in you." James grabbed his bag and followed him.

"But she said herself that she wouldn't date me."

"Sure, but weren't you going to change that?" Sirius raised his eyebrow at him. "When we came back from Lily's you were on this 'Prongs-for-A-Better-World' kick."

"I know. But I don't know what I can do."

"Why don't you do some of that sappy prefect thing that Moony does?" Sirius suggested.

"Like what?"

"I don't know," he shrugged. "Tutor someone, stop a fight in the hallway, that kind of goody- goody stuff."

James blanched. "But that'll ruin my reputation."

"It's your reputation or your girl, you're gonna have to choose," Sirius shrugged. "I won't think any less of you, you know."

"Thanks." James grinned. "I'll bring Wormtail along after class is done. Then maybe we can go chat with Professor Flitwick together, all right?"

"You got it," Sirius grinned and looked down the table. "By the way, the Daft One is with your girl again." James looked down the table and saw Frank talking quietly with Lily and Emmeline.

Daft as he was, James noticed the way Frank probed Sirius when he took an extra long bathroom break.

Lily was not an indecisive person. Actually, she loathed indecisive people. It was a problem her sister had (on everything except her hatred of Lily's "abnormality"). Never knowing whether or not she was going to do something, what would happen if she did it. No, Lily hated those people, and prided herself on her ability to sift out pros and cons and then quickly come to a decision.

So why was she so topsy-turvy on the topic of James Potter!?

She had told herself (while wearing the sweet-smelling jacket) that James Potter would return to big git with the sexy ass as soon as they returned to school and he blew something up. Never, in her wildest dreams (ok, maybe in her wildest dreams), had she imagined James being...a nice person.

Her first inclination of this 'radical transformation' came when she heard yelling in the hallway and saw the light from wands bouncing off of the walls. She arrived to see Evan Rosier, a Slytherin 7th year (with a carrot for a nose and two red peppers for lips), and a Gryffindor 5th year(whose arms had turned into large tentacles) on the ground, Stunned, with James Potter speaking pleasantly with a shocked Professor McGonagall.

"...and I just stunned them. It's a terrible thing, fighting in the hallway, you know, Professor," he said.

"Yes, well, 10 points from Slytherin and Gryffindor and 15 points to you, Mr. Potter. Though it would be wise in the future for you and Mr. Black to follow your advice." She undid the spells on them and sent them off to the hospital wing.

Wednesday afternoon, Professor McGonagall came into their History of Magic class. Lily felt a constriction in her chest and saw that the rest of the class was shifting nervously in their seats. Professor McGonagall gave a quick smile to the class and the breath everyone was holding was let out. Nobody's parents were dead this afternoon.

"Excuse me, Professor Binns, but I was wondering if you would excuse Mr. Potter and Mr. Black for the rest of the class period."

Professor Binns gave a quick shake of his head and James and Sirius left. Lily pursed her lips. They had probably pulled some terrible prank that landed somebody in the hospital wing, or they had destroyed some property or something of the like. She looked over to Remus, who was back from visiting his sick mother, and mouthed 'What happened?'

Remus shrugged and continued to take notes.

Lily passed by the Transfiguration classroom and expected to see Sirius and James taking notes, but they were practicing a spell that they had learned in Auror classes. They thanked Professor McGonagall and hurried out the door.

Then, Lily found him surrounded by a cluster of first years on Saturday morning. She could see his wand pointed at one of them and she stormed over there to see what he was up to.

"And then you swish and flick," he said. "Wingardium Leviosa." With a gasp of approval, the book that was in the first-year's hand flew upwards and then landed back in his hands gently.

"Ok, now you try." 11 Wingardium Leviosa's sounded and 3 books levitated into the air.

"James, what...are you doing?" Lily said, almost too stunned for words.

"I'm helping these wonderful kids out with their Charms homework," he grinned. "Care to join us?"

"..." Lily shook her head and walked back to her side of the Common Room, completely confused. She turned back to look at him and then headed out the door. James knew exactly where she was going and turned back to the first years.

"Yeah...just keep practicing and you'll get it. I'll be back later!" He hurried out the door, excitement circulating in his chest. He'd not been able to see what Lily's response to the entire winter break episode, nor his new self, and he was anxious.

"So what is this new and improved Potter I'm hearing all about?" A sly voice called. James skidded to a halt. He turned and saw Snape staring at him.

"What'd you want, Snivellus?" he said. "I'm in a hurry.

"I see." Snape strolled across the empty hall and twirled his wand in his fingers. "So it is true that old habits die hard."

"Only when it comes to you." James kept walking.

"Then again, maybe not," Snape called. "Here lies a perfect opportunity to attack me, nobody watching, and James Potter walks away."

"I'm not walking away." A voice in his head (which sounded a lot like his father) told him to turn around and curse Snape into oblivion. There was also a second voice in his head (which sounded like Remus) that told him if he so much lifted his wand, all that he'd been doing would be wasted forever.

In the end, his decision was made for him when Snape attacked him first by sending him flying into the wall. James whipped around faster than Snape could see and cursed him back. Snape fell to the ground, obviously in too much pain to move.

"JAMES POTTER!" James closed his eyes and gripped his wand, his hatred of Severus Snape growing tenfold. Lily walked towards him, fuming. James turned and tried to explain himself.

"Lily, I swear, he attacked me first! I was-"

"I don't want to hear it!" she spat. "You and your 'changed self.' You disgust me!" Her voice was so high and shrill that it left his ears ringing as she stormed away.. Or maybe it was because he was getting so mad at the pleased laughter on the floor. He turned to Snape and growled.

"You are so dead, Snivellus." James didn't think that he'd ever been so mad in his life.

"Careful, your mudblood girlfriend'll come back and give you a tongue lashing," he sneered. James gripped his wand even tighter. "You know, even for a mudblood, she's too good for y-"

But Snape never finished his remark, because James had hexed him ten times and left him oozing on the ground.

However, James' anger was no where near Lily's wrath when he met her in the forest. She was muttering to herself and shaking her head while she jotted down ideas for her Transfiguration essay. James approached her and she looked up at him. She was shocked at first, and then her face broke into a smile.

"You are one stubborn animal." She closed her book and put down her quill to get up and pet him. "Well, serious developments have happened in the area of James Potter." She paused in her petting. "Events that...well..." She sat back down. "He kissed me. And, the worst part about it, I liked it. I really did."

James felt like he could start flying. Maybe he should look and see if Santa needed some more deer for his sleigh for next Christmas.

"But...when he was being so nice to me, and even though I told him more than he needed to know, I just kept seeing him laughing when he's cursing Severus or pulling a prank on some third years."

But I'm fixing that, aren't I? Please tell me that it's working.

"He's been weird lately, though. Ever since we got back," Lily sighed. "He's been so nice to people. Like this afternoon, I saw him tutoring some first years. He's never tutored anybody before, save Peter Pettigrew. And it's made me forget, a little. I mean, I see him now as the James that I talked to in the park, the one that made me feel like I was pretty, and interesting, and wanted by someone. But...I can tell that it's not going to last."

What?! How?

"Today I found him fighting with Snape. He's so fake," Lily frowned and James felt his heart sinking. "But, as much as I told myself that everything would be back to normal when he did something like this, I can't hate him now.

"I want to hate him for putting up a front so that I'll like him, but I can't. Somehow, the fact that he's trying to change himself, even if it is a front, just to date me, it's flattering, in a weird sort of way." She cast a look over at Prongs and looked around. "Don't tell him that, though. I refuse to date him until I see that he's changed from the inside out."

Hm...Remus said the same thing. Maybe I'm not going deep enough.

"Besides that, there's other developments. I'm starting this Auror program and some of the stuff that we're learning is so..." She looked as if she was trying to find the right word. But James could read the look on her face plain enough. "I'm worried that when we have character tests that I won't be able to pass them." She steeled her face. "I'm just going to have to fake it. Fake it really, really well." She gave a little laugh. "Too bad I'm not an actress."

She thought for a moment and then a light came to her face again. "Oh! Good developments in the friend department," she grinned and reached up, stroking his long, furry face. He would have sighed if he had the capability to. "The only other girl in the class, Emmeline Vance, and I have become quite close. This may sound silly, but she's fast becoming a real friend for me. She has to be, I mean, nobody else understands what it's like to read about a potion that suffocates you in your sleep."

She moved to put her hand against her throat again, but then looked down at her Transfiguration homework. "Well, this is due on Tuesday, so I'd better get to working on it."

James realized that with the full moon and Auror classes that he hadn't started on his essay either. So while she was immersed in her essay, he slipped away and went to do his.