Unofficial Portkey Archive

"I was changed...
The moment I saw you cry.
I wanted to hold you
I wanted to make it go away
I wanted to know you
I wanted to make your everything all right."
-Cry, Mandy Moore

Chapter Six

Lily felt the back of her neck burn somewhat. She adjusted her sweater and heard more laughing. It was her old paranoia from primary school that when people laughed, the object of their laughing was her. Not to mention it was the Slytherin direction where the laughing was coming from. She, being the only full muggle-born between the two houses in the Herbology house right then, was the only one who could possibly be the object of ridicule.

She continued to prune her plant with a purpose and ignored the laughing behind her. She pushed a piece of hair out of her face and back into her braid and pushed her plant away from her. Professor Sprout came over and looked at her progress.

"Very good, Miss Evans. You may go after you've cleaned up your mess," she said, moving on. Lily pushed all of her leaves into her hands and threw them away, then gathered her books and bag and left the classroom.

After depositing her things in her dormitory, she wanted to go to the library to get another 6 inches of information before Transfiguration that afternoon.

She turned a corner and saw a gaggle of Slytherin walking in from the greenhouses. Lily wanted to avoid a confrontation with them, so she kept her head down and stayed close to the wall until she could reach the library.

No such luck.

"Hey Mudblood." One of them said, turning around to meet her. In an instant, the rest of the Slytherins had surrounded her in that way that only people with malicious intent had an ability to do. But Lily was not in the mood to deal with them right now. She tried to walk through their circle to no avail.

"We heard that you're going to be part of that new Auror program." Lily recognized the leader of the circle was Bellatrix Black, Sirius's cousin. She was widely known to be crazy, and Lily attributed it to the in-breeding. " You know my boyfriend is in the Dark Lord's inner circle. I'll be sure to tell him to kill you first. With that God-awful hair, you'll be a perfect target for him to hit."

"And I'll be sure to get him before he gets me," Lily spat back, knowing that she sounded very lame. The Slytherins agreed by laughing wildly at her.

"How are you going to do it, Mudblood?" Another sneered at her. She didn't know his name, because he was a 7th year. "Stun him to death? You people are too good to use the Unforgivable Curses."

"That's not necessarily a thing to be boasting, now is it?" Lily glared.

"What's this?" Someone took the notebook from under Lily's arm and began flipping through it.

"Well, well, well. The mudblood's got a penchant for the unforgivable curses. Maybe she isn't going to stun us to death."

"It's for Defense Against the Dark Arts," Lily said, exasperated, trying to get her notebook back.

Bellatrix's eyes lit up and she snatched the book away. She flipped through it, looking through Lily's meticulously written notes that took up three quarters of the book all ready.

"Oh really. Could it be for that research paper?" Lily didn't like the look in here eye and whipped out her wand.

"Give that back," Lily demanded. Another Slytherin took her wand from her, and, being about three feet taller than Lily was, she wasn't likely to get it back so soon. She turned back to Bellatrix, wandless, but determined not to show fear in the face of these people.

"Give me back my notebook." She was running out of options, but she wasn't going to let them know that. Bellatrix was now flipping backwards and forwards in the book the insane glean not leaving her eyes.

"This looks like a lot. Wouldn't it be too bad if it just....spontaneously exploded!"

Lily's eyes widened. She'd been working on that for months now. If they destroyed it, she'd be so far behind her schedule, not to mention all of those notes that she took, all gone.

"No!" She lunged for her book, but she was held by the robes just out of reach of her precious notebook.

The Slytherins were laughing themselves to tears when Bellatrix dangled her papers menacingly under her wand which was alight with flame. It was becoming black on the bottom and Lily's heart was racing and tears were filling her eyes, but she would not let them fall.

"Accio notebook," a very pissed voice behind them said.

The book zoomed out of the Bellatrix's hand and into another's. Lily turned, and to her relief, it was in the hands of another Gryffindor. But to her dismay, it was James Potter.

"Padfoot, Slytherins have sunk to a new level, don't you think?" James said, an angry fire burning in his eyes. Sirius had that same anger in his eyes.

"Definitely."

"Cousin," Bellatrix cooed.

"I'm not related to you," Sirius growled. Bellatrix just laughed and pushed Lily over into them. James caught her in his arms and didn't take his hate-filled eyes away from the group. The one with her wand flung it at her and it hit her in the shoulder. James pushed her behind him and pointed his wand along with Sirius.

"James, stop!" Lily cried.

"Lily, they need to be taught a lesson," James no longer cared if she watched him. They had gone too far this time.

"Evans, just stay back," Sirius growled. Bellatrix let out a high pitched laugh.

"My cousin and Potter, the mudblood lovers!" they laughed. James twisted his hand around his wand and stepped forwards.

"Let's see. Five points from each of you that said 'mudblood,' ten points from each of you for fighting in the hallway. And if there are any more words out of any of you, they'll be more deducted."

They all looked to Remus who was standing into the doorway, arms folded and Prefect badge shining on his chest. He looked to Lily who was feeling very dumb at the moment. Her prefect badge just sat there on her chest, dull.

"Don't you agree, Lily?

"Yes," she said, quietly.

"You can't do that, Lupin," Bellatrix hissed.

"No," he said, punctuating every word with a step, "but I can tell Professor McGonagall and, as she usually agrees with my point deductions, it shall be done, mark my words."

"Shame you're all idiots so you can't salvage points," Sirius laughed very haughtily and walked away with the rest of the Marauders. Once they were out of earshot, James turned to Lily concerned.

"Are you all right?"

"Fine," she spat. "I didn't need your help."

"But-" Lily shoved him out of the way and continued walking. James stared after her, confused and hurt.

"Wow, that's gratitude for ya," Sirius sniffed. James turned to Remus and folded his arms in front of him.

"Care to explain that, Moony?" he demanded. "We just saved her from a group of Slytherins and she's all mad at us."

Remus opened his mouth and shrugged. "I am far from being the expert in the way a woman's mind works."

Lily wiped the page when a tear dropped on it. Some of her notes were singed, but they were all still there. She ran her hands down the bottom of the pages and they slightly chipped off. This caused a new wave of tears to fall down her cheeks and she pulled her knees up to her chin and just cried.

She heard movement to the side of her and lifted her head to see who it was, fearing that it was the Slytherins come back for another round at her. But it was that stag again.

In all of the years that James had known Lily, he had never seen her shed a tear. Even when she'd stubbed her toe on the fireplace, or when she got less than an 'Acceptable' on an essay in Transfiguration during their 5th year, or when she got so mad at him that he could see steam coming out of her ears, she'd never cried.

And now she was curled up into a tiny ball bawling her eyes out because of a bunch of stupid Slytherins.

"You, again, huh?" Lily said, wiping her eyes. James could tell that she had been crying hard before he showed up because her voice was shaky. "I-I can't believe I let them get to me like that. It's not as if it was the f-first time or anything. I'm just so mad at myself for not doing what I should have done. I could have just done a simple spell, got my book back, and kept walking. I'm supposed to be an Auror-in-training. And I had to be saved by James bloody Potter and his band of idiots. Like I'm some sort of damsel in distress."

What's so bad about me saving you? James thought, walking closer to her.

"It's not like I'm trying to be a feminist or anything. It's just....I always feel like I have to prove something to everyone. I can't explain it. It's because I'm a muggle-born. A mudblood," she laughed ironically. "The things that the Slytherins say affect me. I feel like they're right sometimes. I feel like I shouldn't be at this school. I don't belong." She gave a wry smile. "I don't belong in the muggle world either."

James was right in front of her and could smell the salt of her old tears. You could belong with me.

"The girls in the dorm, they're all right, but they've all been raised on magic. I feel so lost sometimes and so dumb when they talk about things that go on at home," Lily said. She felt another good cry welling within her chest when she remembered her own home. "M-My sister's the s-same way, you know. She h-hates me because I'm a w-witch. I don't belong anywhere!" She dissolved into tears again.

He felt his heart stop. To witness her in such a vulnerable state was killing to him. So he reached his head forwards and nuzzled his head into her arms. Lily was startled at first but then began stroking his head.

"I guess I'd better get back. Lunch is probably over by now and I'd hate to be late for Professor McGonagall's lesson." She stood up and grabbed her books. James reached down and grabbed her notebook with his mouth and gave it to her. Lily was surprised at this action and began walking towards the castle, furiously wiping her cheeks so that her tears would have no trace left on her face.

Back in the clearing, James transformed back into his human self and let out a sigh. She'd mentioned once before how different things were for her because she was a muggle-born, but it never hit him exactly how different things were. When she went home, they knew nothing about Hogwarts and the things she learned, and when she came here, everything was already known to everybody, so explaining it was redundant to them. And what was up with her sister hating her? That wasn't right at all.

Seeing that she'd made it inside, he also began walking towards the castle. He'd be late for McGonagall by the looks of the time, but he'd always end up getting on her good side after a few minutes.

The common room was quiet for once, or at least it was for Lily, sitting next to the fire. She had eaten early so that she could save a spot on one of the big squishy arm chairs that she so loved to sit in. Now, she was completely immersed in the wonders of Charles Dickens, a childhood friend that she had brought along with her to Hogwarts. The Slytherin taunting was still weighing heavily in her mind and when she read Dickens it usually made her feel better.

She had always assumed that everyone else in the room realized that book + Lily + fireplace + squishy couch = don't disturb. But, then again, when one assumes it makes an ass out of u and me...

"Lily, Lily, lovely Lily. Lovely, lovely Lily. Lovely, Lily, lovely, Lily of the lake-"

"What Potter?" Lily snapped, turning the page. To her utter amazement, 'Potter' plopped down on her arm rest and began reading over her shoulder.

"What's that you're reading?"

"Dickens, someone you wouldn't know anything about so don't ask-"

"Lily, I am shocked and appalled. I'll have you know that I do have some muggle in my family. Not much, but some. I have read John Dickens," James grinned at her. Lily gave him a dry look and continued with her book. James cleared his throat and Lily ignored him.

"You were supposed to laugh there."

"I'm not."

"Come on, Evans, be nice."

"Why? Because you saved me from the big, bad Slytherins?" Lily shot at him.

"No, because I'm just trying to cheer you up."

"That's rather kind of you Potter, but I think I have that taken care of."

"Apparently not," James muttered. Lily shot him a cold look.

"I don't need you to lead me around by the hand."

"So, how about that Charms essay, huh?" he laughed.

"James, please go away?" Lily said, her patience slowly leaving her.

"Lily, I'm trying to have a pleasant conversation with you," James said, leaning back on the armrest.

"And I'm trying to read, or can't you see past your own ego. The world doesn't revolve around you?" She snapped her book shut and began to walk away when James's words stopped her.

"Why do you push people away when they're trying to be friends with you?" He was pleased to see that Lily was stopped dead in her tracks. She appeared to recover because she whirled around and lashed out at him.

"I don't want to be friends with you, Potter!"

"But you don't have any others, so why not try to be friends with those who want to be friends with you?"

James later realized when Madam Pomfrey was placing the anti-swelling charm on his aching forehead that friendless-Lily was not a subject to be breached upon lightly.