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Reflections
Mei Queen
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Author's Note- This chapter contains characters Alice DuPont and Emmeline Vance…in the Order of the Phoenix,
Emmeline is mentioned as a member that
Harry has met, and since I didn't know Alice Longbottom's maiden name, just so you know, that's who Alice
DuPont is supposed to be. There really wasn't a clear enough description of the dorm for me to feel guilty for
including a restroom…hope that minor discrepancy doesn't bother anyone. McGonagall is the Transfiguration teacher
for my story, because as the Dark Force was rising, I see that Dumbledore would have replaced Dippet. Also, Lucius is
technically supposed to be older than Lily and James, but I put him at the same age, because I wanted someone who was a
feasible cousin to Sophie. For those of you being irritated with the Lily/Remus thing, it won't last…I just wanted
an explanation for how close Remus and Lily seemed when Lupin talked about her in the Azkaban movie. Okay, that's
all I have to say…thanks for reading and please review!
Chapter 2: Getting to Know You
Perhaps the most common question I was asking myself during the Sorting was, "Is this really worth it? Is this school going to be worth the torture of having to deal with people like Malfoy every day?"
Deep, deep down I knew that it was, of course…are you kidding? The chance to do magic instead of maths? I'd have to be bonkers to pass that chance up. But as my knees shook standing in the Great Hall, something of a spectacle for all the upper students, concentrating on the magical aspect and redeeming qualities of Hogwarts was becoming difficult to do.
"Black, Sirius" had been sorted already, and he was in Gryffindor. Now that Sophie had made peace with the guy, I wouldn't mind being in his house. I was just hoping beyond hope that I could end up in the same house as Sophie and Remus.
"Evans, Lily!"
McGonagall looked up from her scroll a bit and seemed to beckon me forward. I didn't bother wondering how she knew who I was, but I could feel my body shake and face begin to turn red as I continued that walk that seemed to last a lifetime. Please, not Slytherin, I silently begged. I would rather be anywhere that right under the nose of all the people who hate me for my blood. Sophie had explained to me very briefly what the term "Mud-blood" meant, and now there was heaviness in my heart that had never been there before. I had never been discriminated against, being the standard upper-class, white female; I never really knew what it was to be disliked. However, my eleven-year-old self was well aware that if I were to be placed in Slytherin, I would suddenly know all to well what discrimination is like.
McGonagall lowered the hat onto my head as I clutched the seat of the stool for fear of falling off from the violent nervous shaking that was currently racking my body. Then, the most extraordinary thing happened- the hat spoke.
I must say that in all my eleven years, the closest thing I had seen to an enchanted hat was one of those hats that magicians magic rabbits out of, and everyone knows that they're frauds, probably hurting the poor bunny by pulling it through a hole in the table or something. But this was most definitely different.
"Lily," the hat whispered. "Where should I put you?"
I wasn't really sure whether this question was rhetorical, but more than anything I wasn't sure whether the hat needed me to speak for it to understand. Not Slytherin, I thought over and over, hoping it would understand my thoughts.
"Not Slytherin? You're Muggle-born, as well…no, I will not put you in Slytherin, I suppose, though you are ambitious. The houses were not intended to have as large of divisions as they do…the school didn't use to be like this…indeed, it is a pity…but where to put you?"
Briefly, I wondered whether the hat divulged information about the school to everyone, because some people's sorting seemed to be a lot faster than others.
"No, I do not tell everyone information, Lily. But I expect great things from you, you see…I know that the division you experience now will become much worse later, and I do not want it to haunt you in school. Your bravery in the face of the dangers to come will be impressive. Indeed, I make my decision…"
I had barely any time to register what the hat had said, when the hat loudly shouted, "Gryffindor!" to the students who had been patiently waiting for a few minutes.
I walked uncertainly to the table that was proudly decked out in scarlet and gold, and sat down to think about what the hat had said, and watch anxiously as the other first years were sorted.
"Lestrange, Sophia!"
The hat only took a few moments when it shouted that Sophie was to be a Gryffindor. Later, Sophie told me that she had been thinking desperately the whole time of anything but Slytherin, but mainly that she wanted to be in Gryffindor. She wanted her bravery in the face of her family to be one of her most redeeming qualities back then, and indeed, it is still one of her most fantastic qualities that I can think of as I write this. She also wanted to spite her family by being in the house that is something of an arch-enemy to her family's usual house.
"Lupin, Remus" became a Gryffindor, much to my young heart's delight, and to nobody's surprise, "Malfoy, Lucius" became a Slytherin, perpetuating the family tradition. "Potter, James" became a Gryffindor, a fact to which I was rather ambivalent, as I was already deep in conversation with Sophia about my dress sense. She said she applauded my bravery at trying to make truly unstylish things hip and doing so with self-confidence, but then she took my hand in hers and said unfortunately there is only a fine line in the fashion world between courage and idiocy. She had vowed to make me her little apprentice, and she was deep in plans to mentor me in such fascinating subjects as "Accessories 101" and "Intro to Matching Colors".
I was thrilled, really. Actually I think my true feelings on the subject were betrayed all too well by my arched eyebrows and facial expressions of disbelief. Why would anyone care that much about clothes was beyond me then, but looking back, I'm thrilled that Sophie took me under her wing…Heaven knows…if it weren't for Sophie, I might have found myself a personal victim of the tie-dye craze….Oh, the horror…
After a big feast in which I ate quite an inordinate amount of food, Sophie and I went up to our dorms along with the other Gryffindors.
Hogwarts was the most amazing thing I had ever seen…I had several conversations with portraits on the way up to dorm (it utterly fascinated me that they could not only move in their own paintings, but move into others as well) and watched lazily as a staircase shifted on Lucius and another Slytherin boy with sallow, pale skin and long black hair who I learned later was called Severus (they had already tried to scout out the Gryffindor dorm for prank purposes).
We found that we were sharing our dorm with two other girls, Alice DuPont (a slightly stocky girl who was extremely clumsy, but definitely good-intentioned) and Emmeline Vance (thin with long brunette hair, she was not as clumsy as Alice but definitely more chatty).
"Did you see the paintings?" Emmeline was asking Alice in awe. They were already well acquainted with each other, having sat next to each other at dinner, and Emmeline was Muggle-born.
Alice chuckled in response, and smiled at Sophie and me as we entered the room. "Hello!" she greeted.
"Hello," I said brightly. "I'm Lily Evans, and this is Sophie Lestrange."
Emmeline smiled and extended her hand. "I'm Emmeline Vance, you can call me Em though, and this is Alice DuPont."
There was a chorus of "how do you do's" and "nice to meet you's", and then Sophie and I got the chance to look around the dorm. Four scarlet velvet four-poster beds sat equidistantly around the room, and there was a door that led to the restroom as well. Emmeline and Alice caught us looking, and Em said, "We were waiting for you to get here before we picked our beds. Which ones would you like?"
Alice politely refused either of the beds next to the window, because she was claustrophobic, so she didn't like totally drawing the drapes, and any light that might seep in through the drapes would make it impossible for her to sleep.
"I'll take one of the beds by the window, it doesn't bother me," I said softly.
Sophie ended up taking the other bed by the window, Emmeline took the bed next to Sophie, and Alice took the bed next to me. Now that we were all settled in our respective beds, it was time to turn conversations to the topic of the evening- the boys in our dorm.
I mentally crossed my fingers then, and hoped that nobody else thought Remus was cute, because I don't know if anyone has ever been in this situation, but for some reason, it becomes much more difficult to tell your feelings to others when they share them. I, for example, would rather tell the girls that thought Remus was ugly that I liked him than the ones that have feelings for him, because who knows if your sharing of what a great guy Remus is will propel them to ask him out…it's just disconcerting, especially for an eleven-year-old mind that has most definitely never been in love before- or at least, in what I thought then was love.
"Who do you two think is cute, Sophie and Lily?" Emmeline asked from her bed, where she was grooming her nails with a file.
"Nobody, they're all idiots," Sophie said with complete bluntness.
"Lily…" Emmeline said, turning to me with a sparkle in her eye.
"I don't really know yet," I lied rather unconvincingly. "Why, is there anyone you two think is cute?"
"That Sirius Black is really, really cute," Em said simply. Sophie chose to simply snort in disbelief as a response.
"I don't know, Sirius is really cute, but James is a real sweetheart," Alice responded. "Remember, Em, how he was helping you with wizarding things that you didn't understand? He's just a really great guy."
I rolled over so I was lying on my stomach on the bed, and said, "He may seem all right, but he really is rather impatient, and he left me outside the platform. If it weren't for Sophie, I might just still be there."
This comment took a few moments to sink in, and then there were a few murmurs about what an asinine thing that was for James to do, a statement that I wholeheartedly agreed with.
"Who else is there in their dorm, anyway?" Sophie asked with mild disinterest.
"Well, there's Sirius and James," Em ticked them off on her fingers.
"Remus," I spouted up quickly, hoping nobody noticed how much I was blushing about just saying his name. Sophie had noticed though, and was slyly grinning at me…she definitely knew, but I put my finger over my lips and hoped she'd get the point. I didn't want the other two to know, at least not yet.
"Isn't there another one?" Alice asked thoughtfully.
"The nervous guy," Sophie said in revelation, finally remembering.
"I think I heard them say his name was Peter," Em said thoughtfully.
"Of course! It's Peter Pettigrew," Alice said triumphantly.
"Do you know him?" I asked.
"Well, I used to. He's a pureblood, as am I…and all those families are interrelated. I think he's my second cousin thrice removed or something like that."
"I never understand how family trees work. Once cousins become more than first cousins and somehow get removed, I start to get a headache," Em said with a groan. Sophie and I murmured our agreement.
"So are you sure there's nobody you think is cute yet, Lily?" Sophie asked with a sly grin.
"Um…I suppose…um…Remus is rather sweet," I said nervously.
"Yeah, he's a really nice guy," Alice continued. "I think his father is related to one of my many third cousins rather distantly, not that third cousins aren't distant enough. The thing with Remus though, is he isn't very reliable. He was always sick, and canceling on the play dates our mothers arranged for us when we were younger. I don't know if he just didn't want to hang out with me, or if he was really that ill all the time."
"I'm sure it wasn't that he didn't want to hang out with you," Em said sympathetically.
"S'okay," Alice said softly. "Remus and James aren't the ones that I have feelings for."
"Who is?" I asked, leaning forward slightly, most definitely excited at the prospect of some juicy gossip.
"Well, okay. There's this boy that I've been having play dates with since I was a child. He's two years older than us here at Hogwarts, but he told me he was really excited for me to get here. He's so gorgeous, girls…he's got this dark brown hair that always flops in front of his face, really adorable…and these beautiful hazel eyes…he's got quite a nice body, as well."
"Who is he? Is he a Gryffindor?" Em asked, engrossed in Alice's description.
"Yes, he's a Gryffindor…his name is Frank Longbottom," Alice said, finishing.
I smiled at Alice, but I really just wanted to change the topic by that point, because I could not get my face to stop blushing for the life of me. All that talk we had before about Remus had my face turning as red as my hair, and thankfully, Sophie noticed.
"So which classes are you guys looking forward to?" she asked quickly.
Thank you, I mouthed to her as Em and Alice started chatting happily.
You're welcome, she mouthed back with a smile. Sophie was most definitely going to be a good friend, I decided then, and, I am happy to say, she has yet to prove that statement wrong.
I am sure many people will tell you that the first day in Hogwarts is almost always a miserable one. There are simply no maps provided as to where you are supposed to go, simply classroom numbers and vague directions. The problem with this system is that sometimes, these rooms just don't feel well, or would rather visit other rooms, and they simply aren't there anymore. I was late to about half of my classes, because there are quite a few temperamental doors in Hogwarts as well, doors which need specific types of prodding to open- a compliment, tickling, be it as it may.
I was sprinting down the hall to where I supposed Transfiguration must be when I ran into something very solid. I crashed to the floor along with my schoolbag, and along with my already terrible luck of the day, a seam split open, and the contents of my bag were spilling everywhere.
My face turned bright red as I noticed some emergency "time of the month" items had spilled out as well, and I simply prayed that whoever it was I had knocked into would A) neither help me nor care or B) just not notice those specific items.
I looked up to see who I had knocked into, and I was pretty sure by this point that if the ground opened up, swallowed me whole and never let me see the light of day again, I would be pretty bloody grateful. It was Remus Lupin, and let's just say he had most definitely noticed the tampons that were scattered on the floor, one was right next to his shoe.
I made a frantic grab for my things and muttered "sorry" before sprinting in an entirely new direction. When I finally arrived at Transfiguration, I was about five minutes late, and everyone else was already seated. That's when I realized that perhaps it would have been better if Remus were in a different house, because there was only one seat left, and it was right next to him.
Normally I would have been ecstatic about this new development, but because of recent events, I rather felt like I was walking towards my own doom. Sophie was sitting with Alice, Emmeline was trying to get cozy with Sirius, and James was left to sit with Peter. I found out later that the reason James had not sat with Remus was that Remus generally scolded James when James was in a mischievous, prank worthy sort of mood, and James didn't like having his "inner child" discouraged from doing its thing. So James sat with Peter, who would never put a word in edgewise, much less scold his mentor, and Remus was left to sit with…me. Oh joy.
I don't think I was able to look at Remus when I sat down, but an entirely new level of horror was instilled when McGonagall said curtly, "Good morning. Please turn and smile, say hello, and shake hands with the person sitting opposite you. They will be your partner for the next year; there will be no changes in seating, excepting severe mistakes on my part in allowing two people who can not control themselves to sit together."
Her eyes rested on James and then on Sirius at this point. The two had already been the talk of the together in the Faculty Lounge at lunch. Flitwick and Sprout had already enthusiastically warned about the two pranksters, and that sitting them together in a class could lead to horrible things, even though both Flitwick and Sprout admired the pair's enthusiasm and would almost always sit them together in years to come. Regardless, McGonagall was fairly satisfied that in the manner they were sitting today, there would probably be less trouble that if they were sitting together.
While the rest of the class turned and shook hands, I did my best to concentrate on the chalkboard. I felt a tap on my shoulder. "Lily?"
Remus was obviously trying to get my attention, so I gave up the charade of pretending the chalkboard was extremely fascinating and turned towards him. "Yes?"
"Well, I just wanted to say that I'm sorry for bumping into you back there, and I'm really sorry your bag split and embarrassed you."
His face was getting a little bit red, and I could tell he had stopped the apologies at my bag splitting because he couldn't wrap his mind around trying to say "tampon", but it was a very sincere apology nonetheless.
I smiled at him and extended my hand. "Lily Evans, even though you already know…and you are?"
"Remus Lupin," he said smiling. "Even though you already know… So what has your favorite class been so far?"
I could not help the feeling of amazement that was coursing through me as our conversation continued. I was having a perfectly normal conversation with my crush, without stuttering or forgetting the topic at all. This was so great!
"Okay, everyone, now that we have the 'getting to know you' segment of the class down, take out your textbooks and turn to page 125. You will also need your quills and parchment, as we will be going through a bit of lecture portion."
There was a collective groan that rippled through the class as textbooks and materials were taken out of book bags, and I realized that perhaps McGonagall's class would be tolerable. I was guaranteed, via this class and permitting that neither Remus nor I misbehaved, at least an hour and a half of time spent either chatting with Remus or simply dreaming about him, and this thought made my young self very happy.