-
Reflections
Mei Queen
-
Authoress' Note: I'm sorry if the end seems stunted. But I really need to concentrate on the other seven (!) or some ludicrous number of stories that I have going at the moment. Leave reviews. I love them.
-
Chapter 7: Happily Ever After
-
I sighed, sinking further into the comfortable armchair in the Gryffindor Common Room. Brushing my long hair over my shoulder, I looked at my wrist to check the time. 8:59. I wonder who left me this note, and why he wants to talk to me. Is he going to be late? I hate it when boys are late. He had better not be late. I wonder what whoever it is could possibly have to talk to me about…it has to be a Gryffindor that left it because Transfiguration isn't a double class. It was probably somebody sitting by Sirius Black if not Sirius himself…
Much to my irritation, my thoughts were then interrupted by a shaky male voice.
"Lily?"
Looking up, I was faced with none other than an extremely nervy James Potter. Noticing the shock on my face, he stuttered a moment, unsure of what to say.
When we were both silent for a few seconds, I finally regained my sense of speech. "What did you want, James?"
James' eyebrow quirked while he tapped his finger against his chin, he was obviously quite befuddled. "Um…"
"I'm supposed to be meeting someone here soon, so it would help if you could hurry up," I spat impatiently, leaning down to check my watch again. "Though he certainly seems to have a bad sense of time…"
James scuffed his foot against the cobblestone floor, looking down at his feet. "Um…Lily…I'm the one who left you the note."
Now my disbelief was very evident. What does James Potter want with me, anyway? "Why?"
At this point, the Head Boy seemed to regain a bit of his confidence. "I have something that I want to show you."
I cocked my head to the side, analysing him suspiciously. "What?"
"You'll see. Just trust me?"
I snorted. "Why should I do that?"
James moved closer to me, now I could see his hazel eyes, dancing with desperation, lit by the firelight. "Have I ever let you down?"
-
I followed James up the corridor to the boys' dorms, allowing him to pull me into a shady niche across from the door to the 2nd Year boys' dorm.
"Do you mind telling me what's going on?" I asked exhaustedly, running a hand through my scarlet mane.
"No. We're going to use my Invisibility Cloak to sneak out of Gryffindor Tower and show you what I want you to see without getting caught."
I grinned. "Oh. Well, as long as it's not a crazy plan or anything."
James returned the smile. "Crazy it isn't. Here, you're going to have to get closer to me than that if we want the cloak to fit over both of us."
I looked at him with irritation, head cocked to the side. "You're just loving this, aren't you?"
He snorted with amusement. "Actually, I am. You smell lovely."
My cheeks reddened, and I managed a quiet "thank you" in reply. Huddling close to James, we descended the staircase from the boys' dorm and slowly made our way out of the crowded Common Room. It was slow going, as we were constantly paranoid about brushing against someone.
When we were finally safely on the hallway side of the Fat Lady, James tapped my shoulder, pointing to the left. "This way," he whispered softly by my ear. His warm breath there made me shudder slightly.
I nodded, walking alongside James agreeably. I could smell his light cologne. Occasionally when we stepped just the right way, we would brush shoulders…hands. What the hell are you thinking, Lily? This is James Potter, Quidditch Captain, Head Boy and all-around pain in the arse. Sure, we were close as kids and he was absolutely fab then, but his head inflated so much. We can't go back. We can't just be friends like nothing happened…can we? We certainly can't get together, it doesn't work that way. Me and James…well…we wouldn't even make a good couple. I don't think we would, anyway. Yeah. Not at all. James Potter and I are hopelessly incompatible, even if Potter would be a really nice surname. But his surname is completely beside the point.
"We're here," he whispered in my ear softly. His voice gave me shivers, really unusual ones. Boys had never made me feel like this before, certainly not Remus on our awkward date from Hades. What was going on?
I nodded, surveying my surroundings. Where were we, anyway? I vaguely remember this room from the amount of times I had sent the Marauders here to polish things…we were in the Trophy Room.
Unable to contain my confusion, I swirled to face him, asking, "What are we doing here?"
James' eyes seemed to contain a haunting sadness as he opened the door softly, closing it gently behind us. After making sure that the room was, indeed, empty, he pulled the cloak off of us. Thank God, I thought to myself gratefully. Feels like a ruddy oven under there. Or maybe that's just…me.
"Lily…do you know how many trophies have my name on them in here?"
I looked him irritably, cocking my head to the side and planting a hand firmly on my hip. If he thought he would get somewhere with bragging, I would definitely be forced to set him straight. "Listen, James, I know this tactic works on other girls, but…"
"…you're different," the boy echoed hollowly.
I looked down at the ground. "Well, basically, yeah. You can't expect arrogance to make a difference with me."
"Did I say I was bragging? Just answer the question."
I sighed, flinging my hands into the air. "I don't know. Ten."
"Close. It's about twelve or so, because of random Quidditch odds and ends."
I lifted an eyebrow, regarding the bloke in front of me with extreme irritation. "Now, tell me, am I supposed to care?"
"No," James Potter whispered, looking at me with his stunning hazel eyes. Moving closer to me, and closing the distance between us, he continued with, "Lily…do you know why I care about you?"
My heart began to beat very quickly, and I could feel my cheeks heating. Shaking my head, I muttered, "I haven't the slightest."
James laughed. Motioning around the room, he whispered, "It's because none of this means anything to you. You've always seen me a gawky kid with an attitude problem. And I have to tell you- I respect that. Even though you were pretty style-deficient when you first got to school, I'd known even then that you would be extremely important to me. I think I liked you then. But that's nothing to how I feel about you now."
My breath caught in my throat as James stepped closer to me, tentatively reaching out to take one of my delicate hands in his. Looking down at our hands in shock, I looked back up at him, murmuring, "How do you feel about me?"
I could see James' cheeks turning pink as he answered. "I love you, Lily. I tried so hard this summer to become a mature person that you would want, and I just need to know- did I manage it? Have I finally changed your mind? Please tell me you want to be with me."
I could feel my eyes beginning to water. I felt like I was in a cheesy Muggle romance, and for once, it felt pretty damn good to be its star. My vision travelling down to where James' hand was clasping mine, I squeezed his hand gently.
"I need to know something," I found myself whispering softly. What the hell am I doing? Oh dear Merlin, I've finally gone completely mental. Still…I have to know…
"Anything," he breathed, stepping slightly closer to me.
Closing my eyes and angling my head upward, James' lips and mine met in our first kiss. It was fantastic. James' lips were soft, just like they had always seemed. Though he didn't react for a moment (probably due to shock), he soon regained his sense of the situation, snaking an arm up my back to pull me as close as I could get. I sighed softly as the kiss got more passionate. Finally coming to my senses, I reluctantly broke the contact, looking up at him in awe.
I smiled, nodding my head. Vaguely disoriented, I said the first thing that came to my head. "I knew Potter was too good of a surname to pass up."
James looked down at me in amusement. "Excuse me? Is that a 'yes', then?"
My cheeks heated as I looked down at my feet. Collecting my thoughts, I looked back up at the boy standing opposite me. "I think it is. Yeah."
-
Sophie Lestrange's line of questioning when I got back was absolutely relentless. Finally, I told him in whispered undertones about everything that had happened.
"So, you finally gave in, huh?" the blonde asked sarcastically, idly picking up a file from her bed stand.
My heart sank slightly. I was definitely hoping for a little more enthusiasm. "Sophie, you weren't there. I went in with every intention of turning him down again, but there was just something about being in that room and having him honestly tell me that he loved the fact that I didn't see him as some 'star'. It was honest, Soph. It was real. I know he loves me, just because…he actually voluntarily is going for a girl that will prick his inflated ego rather than cushion it. That has to mean something. And…I know this will sound weird, but do you ever think that maybe it's possible to have loved someone for a long time, but just never have been aware of it?"
Sophie cocked her head to the side, analysing me more fully. "You do love him, don't you?"
I snorted, looking down at my clasped hands. My head still felt fuzzy. Every few moments, my mind drifted back to that kiss in the Trophy Room and how I had come back to the Common Room on Cloud Nine, holding hands with James Potter…the very boy I had claimed to despise a few years earlier. It's funny how life works out sometimes, I couldn't help thinking with a grin. "I really think I do."
She sighed, putting down the file, getting up from her bed and coming over to mine. "Well then. There's only one thing for it."
I looked at her nervously. "What?"
Sophie jumped on my bed, wrapping her arms around me. "Congratulations!"
My face broke into a grateful smile, hugging my best friend back. "Thank you, Soph…you're absolutely wonderful."
She grinned in reply. "Someone has to be, my dear. And while we're talking about wonderful, we should see how Wonderboy reacts when he meets your darling sister, you know. It would certainly show how well he works under pressure."
I giggled. "Um…we'll see."
-
I can remember that time of my life as one of the best: the first moments of mine and James Potter's relationship. We were a great team, Head Students or not. We worked so well together it even seemed a pity that we hadn't gotten together sooner. James kept me in a generally good mood; I kept his ego at a healthy level. We complimented each other like nothing I had ever experienced before. But most of all, we were happy. James and I lived out our 7th Year in peace, hanging out with the Marauders and Sophia Lestrange as much as was physically possible. It was like the two years of fighting between me and James had never actually happened, we grew that close.
The burgeoning war with You-Know-Who was something definitely felt within the walls of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, and as the year drew to a close, the attacks got more and more frequent. I would check the paper daily, incredibly nervous for my family.
-
Then, one fateful night in April of 7th Year, James and I were up late working on some point totals for the Headmaster. We had to have them done by the next day, much to our frustration. As I threw down my quill in exhaustion, I cradled my head in my hands. Feeling my boyfriend's strong arms envelop me, I began to cry. The picture in the Daily Prophet that morning had been of my house…with a shining, menacing Dark Mark adorning the sky above it. Petunia had made it out, so I was naturally expecting some type of hate mail from her any day now.
"Sshh, baby, it will be okay," James whispered mindlessly, making small circles on my back.
"It's not okay, James!" I screamed, allowing more tears to make their flowing way out. "They're not coming back!"
James closed his eyes, pulling my head down to rest on his shoulder. "Darling, it's going to be all right. Do you know how I know?"
I shook my head, sniffling, not really caring that I probably looked horribly blotchy.
"Because I will never let anyone hurt you, Lily. You are everything to me. If anything were to ever happen, I would die for you without a second thought. I hope you know that. You are always safe with me," he murmured, stroking my hair.
More tears.
"Lily, stop crying, sweetheart," James whispered, setting me back in my chair.
"Why should I?" I asked in frustration, wrapping my arms around my ribcage.
"Because I need to ask you something, and I need your full attention," he retorted simply.
Looking at him, I wasn't entirely prepared for what met my eyes. James Potter was on one knee, a black velvet box in his hand.
I could feel my throat constrict. "Oh my God."
"I'm not proposing to you because I feel sorry for you, I want to make that very clear, Lily. I bought this a few weeks ago. I know most people marry after dating for a few years, but I, frankly, don't see a point in waiting. I want to marry you right after we get out of here. I want to protect you during hard times. I want to cherish you during the good. You mean everything to me, and I want a chance to make you the happiest woman in the world."
Nodding my head through the quickly falling tears, I felt a ring with a sizable diamond slid on to my finger. Reaching over to hug him, I whispered into his ear, "Thank you, James. Thank you for everything."
-
Some people find the way that James and I got together unrealistic. They say that just because a boy professes his love for you do not mean that you should (or will) return his feelings. I guess James Potter and I were lucky…blessed that somewhere, deep down, I felt for him too. All of that passion I had directed towards utter loathing of him for a few years was misdirected, and quickly re-routed into something far healthier and more meaningful- true, honest love.
So, as I close this diary of memoirs, I want to remind people of a few things. Love is something that most people can't fathom, but can definitely feel. Go with what your heart tells you, even if what it's telling you seems insane or impossible. You will never know until you try. Also, sometimes the best people are in the places you least expect. If you had told my fifth year self that I would one day marry James Potter and have the most beautiful baby boy you can imagine, I would have told you to take a short trip to the madhouse. But here we are…me, James, our baby Harry…and my reflections.
-