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Weasleys' Wizarding Wheezes by mysticdueler
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Weasleys' Wizarding Wheezes

mysticdueler

A/N: Here's the next installment! Sorry if you don't like the length, but that's how this story will work. The chapters almost demand to end where they do (at least to me). Besides, shorter chapters mean quicker updates . . . Thanks to all my lovely readers who left a review! I love you all!

DISCLAIMER: Once again, I don't own any of this, nor do I intend to make a profit, so please don't sue me!

Harry . . . Ette

"Sorry? Sorry! Ooh, when I get my hands on you two . . ." Harry threatened, stepping closer to Fred and George, his voice loud and shrill. Fred and George both flinched, having been reminded all too easily of their mother. "What the bloody hell did you two do to me? Harmless indeed!" Fred and George both took a step back, giving themselves plenty of open space in case Harry decided to start throwing hexes (or nearby objects).

"H-Harry. Calm down mate." George lifted his hands palm-up in defense and to indicate surrender.

"You know we'd never do this to you on purpose." Fred, too, had his hands out.

"Well, unless provoked, of course." Fred elbowed George hard in the ribs.

"Shut up, George!"

"Ow! Sorry."

Harry whipped out his wand and waved it at the Twins, who watched in muted horror as ropes sprang forth and wrapped around both of them, tying them together back-to-back rather tightly. Leveling his wand once more, Harry said, "Start talking," his voice low and dangerous. "What was in that candy, why did it affect me like this, and how long will it last? Is there an antidote?"

Fred turned his head around to look at George, who nodded once, before speaking. "Well, in order to alter the voice, we used a mild, slightly altered version of the - the polyjuice potion. As the chew dissolves, the potion is released in small amounts and absorbed in the throat, where it focuses and changes only it."

"Unfortunately, just as we thought, if you swallow the chew whole, the potion is released in the stomach and spreads throughout your entire system, changing you entirely."

"We worked hard on the theory, and it would appear we were correct."

"Hey, Fred, can you imagine what this means for business?" George had an excited, faraway look in his eyes. "Just think of all the different products we'll be - ". George continued to move his mouth, but no sound came out. The Twins both turned their heads to see Harry with his wand trained on George, his eyes flashing fire.

"If I were you two, I think I'd be a little more concerned about your present than your futures. That is, if I even let you live long enough to have one!" Harry finished in a snarl, once again forcibly reminding the Twins of their mother.

"Okay, okay. Sorry Harry!" yelped Fred, seeing as how George was still unable to speak due to Harry's Silencio spell. "To answer your last questions . . . well, we weren't sure as to how strong it needed to be, so we used a, ah, fairly powerful batch of potion."

"Meaning . . ."

"Well, the good news is that it'll wear off in about a week or so, at which point you'll be back to your abnormal self."

"The bad news?" demanded Harry.

"There's, um, no antidote, so . . ."

"I'm stuck like this for a week." George nodded in confirmation. "A week? A WEEK! Oh, that's just bloody great! What the heck am I supposed to do for an entire week?" Harry began to pace back and forth, muttering to him - her - no, himself.

"Get a perm." Harry spun on his heel only to be met with two loud pops as Fred and George Apparated away, grinning mischievously. Harry scowled heavily at the spot where the Twins had sat before he relaxed his shoulders and sighed.

`One week. One bloody week! What am I going to do? As much as I'd like to, I can't miss any of my classes.' At that thought Harry smiled weakly. `Looks like Hermione has finally worn off on me.' Suddenly, Harry's face lit up. `Hermione! Of course, why didn't I think of her sooner! Surely she'll know what to do!' Harry turned to head back for the castle, but stopped as he again caught sight of himself in the mirror George had conjured.

Staring back at him was a young woman with shoulder-length black hair (with bangs that stuck out in random directions) and the same bright green eyes he was so familiar with. Harry suddenly realized that he was no longer wearing his glasses, and began to look around frantically for them, out of habit. He found them lying in the grass a few feet away, where they had fallen off earlier. Harry put them on, only to find everything had become blurry. `I guess I don't need glasses in this body. I'd better keep these for when I change back, though.'

Harry pocketed the glasses and returned to his self-inspection. Judging by the way his robes were hanging off him, he had shrunk around half a foot in height. His jaw had become less prominent and his lips seemed to have filled out some. His nose, however, was exactly the same as before, and when Harry lifted the flyaway bangs off his forehead, he found his scar staring back at him. `Well, so much for that hope,' he thought.

Harry let his hair fall back down, and looked at his hands. They were much smaller and delicate-looking, and certainly smoother and softer. Looking back in the mirror at his reflection, Harry's male mind noticed that he was now in possession of a female body. A fairly curvy female body, at that. Harry blushed slightly and looked away, feeling embarrassed and extremely awkward. `I just checked myself out . . . and liked it! What's wrong with me?'

A sudden grim thought struck Harry. `If I have . . . these . . . then does that mean that I have . . . ?' Harry was suddenly conscious of an extra space in his boxers. His faced paled considerably, before blushing furiously, and Harry let out a meek "Eep!"

`Okay, okay . . So there have been a fair number of . . . changes. But I'm still Harry, right? Right. Now, focus! Focus! What am I going to do? That's right; see Hermione and get her help. Alright, let's go!' With that, Harry renewed his march to Hogwarts castle.


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