Chapter 47-A Night To Remember
"James Potter, why the hell aren't you going?" Sirius demanded.
The boys were dressing for the Sweetheart's Dance and dear old Prongs had just broken the news of his absence from this particular dance.
"I'm not up to it, Padfoot," James said, laying down on his bed. He was dressed in Muggle clothes and was not planning on doing anything that night.
"I think those words sounded a little like Lily doesn't love me," Sirius said. Peter smacked him.
"Sorry, that was harsh," he said, apologizing to his friend. He went and sat at the end of James' bed.
"Wish Moony was here," Sirius mumbled. "But no. He wants to get ready in the Heads Room. Stupid git."
"Sirius, shut up," James said, turning onto his back.
"No, Prongs. I won't shut up. I can't see you sit here and sulk. You're Prongs. James Potter. A Marauder. You are better than this. We move on," Sirius said. "I love Lily so much as a friend but James, she's just a girl."
"You're underestimating her Sirius. She's more than that. She was the girl," James said.
"Somehow I think you have told me this before," Sirius said, scratching his head.
"What Padfoot means to say is, I bet Lily isn't sitting around and sulking," Peter said. He was wearing olive green dress robes.
Who wears olive green dress robes for Valentine's Day? Obviously he would stick out like a sore thumb. But, Peter is Peter.
"Actually Wormtail, that is where you're mistaken. She too is having difficulty doing things other than mope," Sirius said.
"She is?" James asked, sitting up and looking at his friend in the eye.
"Yes. No one's had a real chance to talk to her. I think Halle and Katy did, but if they did they're not saying anything," Sirius said.
"I don't blame them. It's her business," James said.
"Don't you want to know why she turned you down?" Sirius asked.
"In a way, no. It wouldn't make me feel any better. I know it's me. It's always been me. If you look at our past, you can't often see me blaming Lily. It's usually the other way around," James said, laying back on his pillow. He transfigured the top of the bunk into the night sky. He just watched with fascination.
"Then why do you love her?" Sirius asked.
"Why do you love Halle? Love is unexplainable. There are no words for it. You can't express why you feel so. It just happens," James said. "Don't you think that if I had the choice I would have chosen to love someone who didn't hate me in return?"
"No," Sirius said simply.
"You're right." James said, sighing. "I'm so screwed up, Padfoot."
"No, you're not," Sirius said.
"Don't lie to me. I know I am. I can't even keep the love of my life. I let go of my badge. I have no family. A mass murderer is after me for some reason," James said. "Why me? Why can't I have a normal life? Why can't I be you, Sirius? Or even you, Peter? You don't get so much temptation in your life."
Peter slowly turned to the corner and took an inward gulp. What had he done? He rubbed the spot on his left
forearm tenderly.
"You're not going? Why the hell not, Lily Evans?" Halle demanded to know. She was wearing a towel and putting on her makeup. Her hair was already resting on her shoulders in soft curls. She looked beautiful.
"I've told you. I don't feel comfortable going alone," Lily said, making up an excuse. "Plus Potter will be there."
"What about your Head Girl duties?" Katy asked.
"Tell Dumbledore that you'll act in my place and you'll open the dance. You're a Prefect. He'll understand," Lily said. "Plus, you'll look better dancing with Remus than I would."
Katy was putting her blonde hair into a knot in the back of her head. She was wearing the pink dress robes from the shop. They looked wonderful on her. She had applied some pale pink lip gloss and very little makeup. She looked stunning. Lily smiled. She felt like a mother watching her daughters growing up. But it was different. They were her friends. They were growing up; without her. Halle was already married and Katy was in love.
Where was little Lily? Stuck in her room.
She had come to the Gryffindor Common Room to watch her friends get dressed.
"I got you something just in case," Halle said. She reached into the closet and pulled out satin lavender dress robes.
"Oh, you didn't have to, Hal," Lily said, smiling.
"They're yours. A gift from me. Even if you don't use them tonight, they'll always be yours," Halle said, smiling. Lily went up to her and hugged her.
A small second year girl came up and giggled.
"Can we help you?" Katy asked politely.
"Well, Sirius Black is down there waiting for you," the small girl said. Halle smiled.
"I'd suspect so. And what did he say?" Halle asked, grinning. She knew Sirius had said something to make that girl blush so much.
"Well, he said that the dance already started and that he doesn't give a damn what you wear. Actually he said it would be better if you didn't wear anything," the girl said.
"Well, tell Mr. Black that he'll have to wait until later for that opportunity because I don't recall being sent to a Nudist colony," Halle said, smirking.
A couple minutes later, as Halle was pulling out her dress robes, ready to put them on, the girl returned. She was giggling even harder.
"He said he could arrange it," the girl said. She left before Halle could respond. She giggled. The thought of living in a Nudist Colony with Sirius was kind of amusing.
"You better get dressed," Lily said, sniffling.
"Are you crying, sweetie?" Halle asked turning to her friend.
"No," Lily said, wiping her tears on her sleeve.
"Yes. she was. She's always crying though, so this shouldn't shock you," Katy said.
"Lily honey, what's wrong? Why don't you just go? I am sure some single boy will ask you to dance. You're a beautiful girl with a lot going for you," Halle said.
"You get dressed, let me handle this," Katy said. She knew Remus would be patient.
"What is the matter with me?" Lily asked her friend.
"What do you mean?" Katy asked.
"I mean, why did I break his heart again? I've done it a million times and sworn never again. Yet, I repeatedly keep doing it," Lily said.
"I think I know why. You love him so much. But you're afraid; deeply afraid that he won't love you as much as you love him. Well guess what? He loves you more than anything. How many girls has he proposed to? How many has he saved from death? None. You're the only one that he loves. And I think it may remain that way forever," Katy said.
"I'm not ready, Katy. I have so much more I need to do," Lily said, crying.
"I know, Lily honey," Katy said.
"I'm ready," Halle said softly. She had on the white dress robes made of silk. It looked like porcelain. Her brown hair was in soft curls and she had on red lip gloss. Her eyes showed a hint of mascara, but she looked like an angel.
Lily smiled.
"He'll love it," Lily said, kissing Halle's cheek. She then turned to Katy and hugged her. "You guys are so amazing. Now go have fun."
"Are you sure? We'll stay if you need us to," Halle said, turning to Lily before leaving.
"Positive," Lily said, smiling. She fell on Halle's bed and felt the lavender robes softly rub against
her cheek. She frowned and felt yet another tear pass down her rosy face.
Sirius was nervously pacing the Common Room, waiting for his wife to come down. It was their first dance together. He wanted it to be a brilliant night. One she would always remember.
He saw Katy come down, looking beautiful. Remus had joined him in the Common Room to wait for her.
Remus turned and kissed her on the cheek muttering, "You're beautiful."
She smiled. "She's not showing up. I'll have to fill in for her."
"Are you ready? Because the first dance will only be followed by me sweeping you off your feet the rest of the night," Remus said. Sirius grinned. He did make a very smooth Marauder.
"You two youngsters have fun tonight," Sirius said, waving to them as they left.
He turned to face the stairs and the sight literally took his breath away. Halle was standing on the stairs looking like an angel sent from heaven.
She smiled and he knew that he loved her so much. She was so happy and positive to be around. And, he could not forget it, she was beautiful.
"I love you," he said to her as she walked down to him.
"I love you too," she said. He looked down at her hand and saw the shimmering wedding ring he had given her a few months earlier.
She smiled.
"We're not hiding it anymore?" Sirius asked.
"No. I am proud to be married to you. Something that makes me so happy shouldn't be hidden," Halle said. "At least not tonight."
"You make me happy," Sirius said.
"Are you ready to go to the dance?" Halle asked.
"Yes. Such a shame poor Prongs couldn't be here. He worked so hard on it too," Sirius said.
"James isn't going?" Halle asked.
"Nope," Sirius said. Halle grinned. She knew that the only two Gryffindor seventh years who were not
attending had some catching up to do.
Lily let her fingers touch the stone wall as she came down the stairs into the Gryffindor Common Room. She prayed for all the younger students to have gone to bed. She knew that was not where they would go though. They had probably gone and tried to sneak into the dance. At that point, she didn't care. At least they would be having some fun.
Alas, she heard silence as she entered the Common Room. Nothing but the flickering fire could be seen nor heard. She was going to sit on the couch when she looked down and saw a raven haired figure already sleeping on it.
"Oh," she said softly. She was going to leave when she heard him.
"Lily?" he asked. "You didn't go?"
"No," she said quietly.
"Why not?" he asked her curiously. "Aren't you required to go?"
"Yes, but Katy's filling in for me. I'm just not up to it," she said.
"Oh," he said. There was an awkward pause.
"You don't have to leave just because I'm here," he said, looking into her eyes. He had missed those eyes. The mystery and pain and love they usually held. All he saw was hurt.
She went and sat down on one of the arm chairs near him. She pushed a lock of her red hair behind her ear and looked up at him.
"Lily, we need to talk and you know it," James said, sitting up. She nodded.
"James, I wouldn't have said no if I'd have known how awful things would get between us. I actually prefer us fighting than this. I miss seeing you," she said, collapsing in the chair crying.
He knew that if she breaking down like this then she had been withholding guilt and resentment for quite some time. What he didn't know she was feeling was regret.
"You feel this way? Because all I've been thinking about was asking you. If I hadn't done that, we'd still be perfect," he said.
"What's happened to us, James?" she asked looking at him.
"I don't know. I really don't. I thought we were ready for the next step. I was so in love with you. I thought that things only got better after marriage. I guess it kind of complicates things," James said.
"Yeah, it does," Lily said. "But then why are Halle and Sirius so happy?"
"Because they're different from us. They can do that and still be happy," James said.
They sat in silence for a couple moments.
"Why did you say no, Lily?" he asked her. "Why? That's all I want to know. I'll leave you alone, forever if you'd like, just if you'd tell me."
"I'm not good enough for you, James. You deserve better than some Mudblood witch," Lily said.
"What? Lily never say that again. Never," James said. "You not good enough for me? You have to be crazy."
"You do deserve better, though. I couldn't give you the kind of life you deserve. You'll make it big and you should go home to some trophy wife who will never give you problems," Lily said, feeling the tears.
"Lily, I could have that kind of life. I could. But it's the choices we make that decides our future. I chose you. I choose the more difficult life. The one I know will be worthwhile. The one I want to stick around to see," James said.
"But what if we make each other miserable? What if you don't feel this way ten years from now?" Lily asked.
"Why question it Lily?" James asked. "I love you."
"You're eighteen James. Who knows how you'll feel when you're twenty-five or thirty," Lily said.
"I'll know I have you. That's the only piece of information worth having," James said.
With that said, he got up and scooped her off the couch. He lifted her to him and kissed her. Kissed her with all the passion he had been feeling since they had broken up. And it was beautiful. Almost as real as their first kiss.
A/N: Hope you liked it. They're back together, again. Please review.