Here's Chapter 4, there's some real dialogue in it! And yeah, when you get done you're gonna think Ron's a moron, but what can I say, I write 'em like I see 'em, and he's not my favorite character. Also, there's an 'F'-word in here somewhere, there's just no stopping me. I remember reading somewhere that PG-13 movies are allowed to say it once, so I've used it up this chapter.
--------------------
She beat me to it. She bloody beat me to it.
She kissed me again!
We had an early morning quidditch practice and for whatever reason (really, who knows what forces drive girls to do anything?) Hermione came and watched. I had just grabbed the snitch (and effectively ended practice) in what I considered a pretty damn impressive spin/roll/lunge move and was sweating and dirty when Hermione ran over, told me "That was fantastic, Harry!" and kissed me on my cheek.
The left one this time, if anyone's keeping track.
My first thought was "Hell, yeah! I am THE MAN," followed immediately by a gripping panic as I whipped my head around looking to see if Ron saw.
He hadn't. And I sent up a silent thanks to whatever deity or force is keeping me out of harm's way this week. Ron's a beater now and has not only shot up to three inches past my six feet, but he's also put on some hulking muscle mass. I'm "lean" (which is a euphemism people use when they don't want to say lanky and awkward). I will, however, say, in my behalf, that I'm quicker, both on foot and with my wand.
Not that I think he would hit me. Or rather, not that I think he would hit me *in front of everyone.* He's got a temper, that boy does.
Now, contrary to popular belief (among the Slytherins anyway), I am NOT an idiot. I realize she's going out of her way to do this. And she doesn't care who sees it. I figured I could at least have the courtesy to do the same. So, during the day, when we split and I go to Divination and she goes to. . . um, Ancient Runes? I don't know (all I know is she's in a class and it's not mine), I pulled her into a corridor and suavely said "Have a good class, Hermione," and leaned over and kissed her (right cheek, closer to the ear than the nose/mouth. . .in case, you were, ya know, wondering. . .).
And do you know what I got for my efforts? A huge beaming goofy smile and a blush! She had the same exact look on her face that I had on mine! (well, presumably, I mean my cheeks were hot and I was smiling and since it's usually pretty goofy I figured . . . )
So I tripped off to class, feeling pretty proud of myself (and trying to ignore the fact that we were acting like schoolchildren with this whole pecking thing), when I walked right into Ron.
A glowering, angry, TALL, Ron.
"What was that, Harry?"
Ok, maybe the Slytherins are right, maybe I am a *bit* of an idiot. "Uh, erm, um, what was what, Ron?"
"THAT. That kiss you just gave Hermione. Sending her off to class like you're her mother now, are you?"
"Well. . . no, not quite. Oi! Isn't that the new Ravenclaw transfer? She's a looker, isn't she?"
"Huh? Where?"
"Right there, behind the gargoyle on the stairwell corner." Yeah, I was lying through my teeth. Sue me.
"Harry, I think you're seeing things. Now about this Hermione thing, what's going on there, mate?"
I was SO close.
"Going on? Erm, nothing's 'going on.' I was just seeing her off to class." My voice only broke once that whole sentence.
"Oh? S'that all? All right then. I thought for a minute you were starting (STARTING?! Can you believe that? "Starting." Is he ever dense. Anyway - ) to fancy her and I was going to see if you'd do me a favor."
Wait, wait, wait. He thinks I'm fancying his ex-girlfriend, the one that last time I heard he was "still in love with" and all he wants from me is a favor. I mean, sure, the last time he'd said that was at the beginning of term and we were coming up on Christmas now, but I assumed I'd be informed if things had changed. And then I thought, well, maybe the favor is to throw myself off a cliff.
"Really? A favor? What would it have been?"
"It's nothing important really, it's just the poor girl's still hung up on me and I thought maybe if you took her out to Hogsmeade or something, got her mind off it, maybe she'd be able to move on."
Is he fucking serious with all this? SHE'S hung up on HIM?! Who the hell is this chump and what did he do with my best friend? I can't believe the arrogance he'd said that with. It was like I was living in an alternate reality. Up was down, right was wrong, black was white, stop was. . .right, you've got it then. I didn't know if this was some attempt at macho posturing or if he sincerely felt that Hermione was still wrapped up in him and he'd been over her for a semester now. I couldn't resist.
"What makes you think that?" I tried so hard not to sound accusatory or amused in any way.
"Harry, you don't have to put on for me, I see you two together all the time, talking in low voices and whatnot. I know you're talking about me. I appreciate you helping her get through this, she's been taking this way too hard for way too long now."
Did he forget that SHE broke up with HIM? He's very obviously off his nut. What was with the depressing music then? But I am not about to look a gift horse in the mouth, lest the horse (or Hermione, as the case were) be taken away.
"It's no problem, it really is a shame. It's good YOU were able to move on though. Any new prospects on the horizon?" God, I really feel dirty after this conversation.
"Definitely. That's why I was so excited when you'd mentioned the Ravenclaw transfer. You didn't happen to see which way she went, did you?"
"Uh, down the stairs, I think, but, Ron . . . class . . ." I trailed off, but he had already gone.
My best friend, the guy that's like a brother to me, the first person to be nice to me in my entire life (save for Hagrid of course, who could forget that cake?), has turned into a delusional letch.
I can't do much but shake my head in amazement.
--------------------
effectivelyabsent@yahoo.com