Yeah, yeah, I'm long-winded, I'm dealing with it. :o)
Anyway, here's the seventh chapter, author's notes at the end.
--------------------
Is it possible for your heart to beat right out of your chest?
No?
That's never happened?
Well, then I may very well set some sort of record, because I think that's what's going to happen if Hermione doesn't get here right quick.
After the not-all-together-unpleasant exchange with Ron this morning, I'd immediately dashed off after him to the dining hall whereupon I noticed Hermione was not among those eating (which is just further proof that there are cosmic forces constantly working against me and my happiness). Neville piped up and said she had practically inhaled some toast and took off, presumably, for the library.
Now rather than see this as a personal affront, I sat down and reasoned out that she was in the library due to the exam we had in Herbology (the one Ron and I hadn't successfully managed to study for).
So I sought her out.
Sure enough, in the library, Hermione had sequestered herself in the corner of some stacks and was frantically shuffling papers.
I think if we barred Hermione from studying for the rest of the year and Ron and I studied every minute of every day, she would STILL get higher test scores than us. I have no idea where she keeps all the things she knows. Her head is much too little and cute to house the names of every notable wizard since the 14th century.
Maybe I'll serve as a good distraction.
"Hermione?"
"Huh? Oh, hello Harry, ready for the exam?"
She sounded happy. I'm going to choose to believe it was because of my presence and not because of the test. I can be just as delusional as the next wizard.
"Sure, Ron and I studied for a whopping zero hours. We're completely prepared."
"Oh. . . yes. . . Ron. How is he?"
"He's all right. He's actually all right. Listen, Hermione, do you wa-"
"Oi there! You two need to be getting to class! Let's go!"
Who the hell was that? Did a loudspeaker just yell at us? And address us personally? Why is there a LOUDspeaker in the library? This school will never cease to surprise me, even after seven years.
"Let's go, Harry."
"Wait, Hermione, can we, can we talk later?"
"I'd like that very much. I know you have quidditch practice tonight and I have a prefects' meeting, say 10:30 in the common room? If it's too crowded we can always go somewhere else."
I agreed, and that was that.
And now it's 10:27.
The common room is so full that I don't even have a chair to sit in. Not that I would sit, this pacing is working quite well, thank you.
I've never felt this anxious before. This is like my first quidditch match, the arrival at Hogwarts, The Tri-Wizard tournament tasks, everything, all rolled into one.
It's hard to convey. It's like a hive of bees has taken up residence in my body and they're racing through my blood and there's a set bouncing around as one in my stomach and they're knocking around in my skull and I just can't. calm. down.
I don't even remember if I caught the snitch at practice today, I was way more concerned with what was happening after. I sped through my shower (but not so quickly as to still smell) and threw clothes on. I attempted to fix my hair, but really, who am I kidding there? It's still sticking up every which way. Mr. Weasley gave me a bottle of aftershave after witnessing post-shave Harry one morning, so I used that (after shaving obviously, never know if Hermione's going to have cause to touch my face).
All that took about 23 minutes.
And I've been here ever since.
I don't even know what I'm going to say. It'll be a surprise to even me. Screw these 'plans,' that's not who I am. I fly by the seat of my pants (quite literally).
Oh, thank god, she's here. Right on time too, 10:30 on the dot. Not that I would've expected anything less.
Wow.
This is it.
She looks great too. Still in her school uniform, but having shed her robes. It's a shame I'm going to have to ask her to put them back on.
"Hey Herm, I was thinking we could go to the passage to Hogsmeade to talk, there'll definitely be no one in there and I've got my invisibility cloak so as not to get us in any trouble. It may be a bit chilly though."
"Of course, let me just grab my robes."
And we're off. I say a silent thanks to my dad for the cloak again, I can't count how many times I've got to huddle near Hermione underneath it, sneaking off somewhere. Never on the way to discuss our future though. Our future TOGETHER. Whoo boy.
This is the perfect time to hold her hand again. I slide my palm up the front of my trousers, surreptitiously wiping them off, as they've gotten rather clammy, and reach out to grab her hand.
And quite effectively grab her bum.
She yelps and I just outright start laughing. This, you see, is how things happen in my life. I'm used to it. I lift the lantern up to look at her face and she's looking at me with thinly veiled amusement.
"Really, Harry! I thought we were going to "talk," I'm not that kind of girl!"
And she promptly starts laughing.
I love this woman. I do.
"Let me try this again." I reach out and take her hand.
"Smooth, Harry, very smooth. Nice that you didn't need any 'liquid courage' this time either."
We arrive at the passage in short order and I hold the entrance open for her, stepping inside behind her.
"Well."
"Well."
Well, this is awkward. Maybe that plan would've come in handy right about now.
"Why don't we sit down?"
Ah, Hermione, ever the brain.
She starts to sit on the ground when I have a flash of inspiration and lay my robe out for us to sit on.
"There. That should be a little better."
We end up side by side, against the stone of the wall, sitting much like we used to in her hallway, that summer.
"What does this remind you of?"
Sometimes it's spooky how well she can glean my thoughts.
I laugh softly and mumble a "Yeah. . ."
I bang the back of my head softly against the well. It makes a soft, muffled thud.
I'm a Gryffindor. I can do this. There's no time like the present. Carpe diem. Maybe if I just bounce enough clichés around in my head, something worthwhile will come out. Start at the beginning, I guess.
"About that, Hermione, I don't think I ever told you, but that. . .that summer was one of the best times of my life. It helped me realize just what you mean to me. It helped me to realize. . . Hermione, I love you."
"Har-"
Oh, there's no stopping me now, the ball's already in motion.
"Just. . . just wait. I love you, Hermione. I love that your feet are too big for your body. I love that you take a huge swig of pumpkin juice and then puff your cheeks out with it. I love that you care about everyone, from the house elves to Ron and I. I love that no matter how terribly Neville botches an assignment, you're always willing to help him right it. I love the way your face lights up when you find a book you haven't read. I love that aren't very many books you haven't read. I love that you watch me play quidditch, even though I know it scares you. I love that there are days when I can't stand to be around you and you can't stand to be around me and I love that we can get through that. I love that I could continue this list forever and still not run out of things to love. I. Love. You."
That went. . . well. In my opinion anyway. I think I've made my point. Tad bid out of breath though.
We sit in silence for a few moments, me recounting everything I'd said and determining it was exactly what I'd wanted to and her seemingly collecting her thoughts. I brace myself as she clears her throat and starts in with a response,
"Harry. I love that you have a list of reasons you love me, it shows that you really do have scholastic tendencies. I love that you can put your chin on the top of my head, it reminds me just how much you've grown. I love that you stutter and stammer, it shows you're still humble. I love that you still wear your glasses, because they show just how wonderful your eyes are. I love the way you grin, that goofy, goofy grin of yours, it lets us all know you're still doing ok. I love your strength, it reminds me everyday of all the times you've put yourself on the line for me. For everyone. But mostly, Harry, mostely, I just love YOU. And I hate that you haven't heard that enough in your life, but I love that I can spend the rest of mine telling you."
. . . there's only one way to respond to that.
I'm gonna kiss her.
I move to lay my arm across her shoulders, and pull her toward me, my left hand coming to rest on her bicep. I tilt my head one way and she goes the other and we're moving closer and closer and closer and CONTACT. I just see her eyes flutter shut as mine do the same and then it's all lips and hands and slow, soft nudging. I can feel her breath puff at my lips and taste it on the tip of my tongue. She tastes like cinnamon. And we kiss and kiss and kiss and then I'm getting braver, and I slide my tongue out to touch the widening seam of her lips and she opens her mouth. SHE OPENS HER MOUTH. And her tongue slithers past mine and into my mouth and OH MY GOD thisisn'thappening and her hands are in my hair and then they're running up and down my back and where are my hands? And then she moans and I start to slip down the wall and Hermione's following me and now I'm on my back and she's on top of me and it's the best feeling ever and Hermione's teeth are so smooth and wow the ground is hard and I move my hands down down down and they're about to cup her bottom when I feel her smile against me.
And pull back.
"Harry, I told you, I'm not that kind of girl." And she laughs. A joyous lilting full-fledged laugh.
"Oh no, Granger? Sure felt like you were a second ago." My voice is husky with its minutes of disuse. And I'm for sure out of breath this time.
"Only for you, Harry, only for you," she smiles at me.
I look down at my watch and realize just how long we've been at this and she grabs my wrist and looks too.
"I suppose we should be getting back now."
"I suppose so."
And we begin the trek back to the common room.
Together really, for the first time ever.
We're over that line, everything's in the open, and it's the greatest place I've ever been.
I'll send you a postcard.
--------------------
Well folks, that's probably the end, I can't believe you made it here, I really have to learn to be more succinct in my writing. YOU GUYS RULE!
Thanks again!
-- jamie
effectivelyabsent@yahoo.com