A/N: Thanks for all the reviews! We've had such a blast writing this together, it's fantastic knowing other people are enjoying it too. Yes, we're trying to update every day, barring any kind of natural disaster that will keep us from a computer. *laughs*
Hermione flipped through her book without much interest, barely scanning pages. She shifted on the hospital bed, trying to get comfortable, before peering blurrily back down at the pages sitting on her lap. She still hadn't uncovered what it was about the potion Ron had given her that took away her memories.
Unfortunately, Hermione found that her concentration had been waning over the last few hours. Her mind kept drifting… to Harry.
He hadn't been by to see her in two days. They wouldn't tell her why. Only that he was busy.
Busy.
She wanted to laugh. No, you don't understand, she told them in her head. Being busy wouldn't keep him from me.
Something was wrong.
Her mind flashed to hot kisses, his breath panting in her ear, and the brush of his hands down her back. She shivered and slammed the book shut. She wouldn't find anything. Not if she had to do this alone.
Something was wrong.
It suddenly struck her that as much as she thought she knew him, she didn't know Harry at all. Perhaps this love she felt was all part of a secret desire to feel wanted. Perhaps he did not care for her at all and had grown tired of her…
This thought made her throat burn. She couldn't stop herself now. Her feelings for Harry were so deep they hadn't been tarnished by the loss of her memories of him.
Something had to be wrong.
***
He shook her awake in the middle of the night.
"Hermione… wake up… c'mon…"
Her eyes fluttered open, but her eyelids felt heavy and the room's darkness pressed against her. She felt a wave of dizziness.
"Where am I?" she whispered.
She felt a hand smooth past her temple.
"Hermione, it's me-Harry. You're in the hospital wing."
His voice was soft, but different somehow.
Different.
He'd been crying.
Harry.
She came fully awake then, her arms reaching blindly out to him in the darkness. She encircled his neck and held him tightly. He smelled like aftershave and sweat and grass, and oh-so-obviously-Harry.
"I'm sorry I haven't been here the last few days. There's been things that have… there have been… incidents. I'm sorry."
"It's alright," she whispered, her fingers curling on the nape of his neck. She could feel the stiff material of his collar between her fingers.
Unlike Ron, Harry never let his uniform become disheveled and unkempt. He always looked put together, tie done up, shirt buttoned, and sleeves down.
"It's alright," she said again. "You're here now. I thought… it doesn't matter what I thought."
He stiffened in her arms. Hot pinpricks of tears gathered in her eyes.
She could feel his breath whisper over her cheek and tickle her ear. She closed her eyes.
He was here now.
"Hermione…"
His voice broke and she held him tighter, murmuring that it was okay, it was alright, it was going to be fine.
"I have to… Hermione, I have to go away."
Her insides turned to ice. She couldn't breathe.
"I have to leave. Now. Soon. In the morning. I-oh, god, Hermione, I have to leave Hogwarts."
"Leave Hogwarts?" her voice was a whimper.
"It's Voldemort. He's coming for me. As long as I'm here, I'm endangering the rest of the school. I have to go."
His voice begged her for understanding. He sounded… scared, she realized. Her brave, strong Harry-he was scared.
She pulled back and cradled his face, her thumbs smoothing aver his cheeks. She kissed him, quick kisses, over his cheeks and nose and lips and, oh, she felt herself begin to cry, but she couldn't stop kissing him.
"I'll go with you," she whispered against his mouth.
He groaned, the noise coming from somewhere in the back of his throat. He pulled away. Her lips tingled where they'd been against his. She moved back towards him, but he held her back.
"No."
She froze. Time stopped. He was still there, still in front of her, telling her it was time, he had to go and-
And she'd always been with him.
"I'm going with you," she said again.
He kissed her forehead and his palm was warm and firm on her back.
"No, you won't. You can't. It's too dangerous… for both of us."
She shook her head. "But that-but that would…"
"I know," he said heavily. "We'd be… separating. But I can't… I don't have a choice. Ron'll still be here. He'll look after you, I promise."
"Ron?" she echoed. She seized his hands. "Harry, you're going to be alone!"
Hermione's head hurt. It wasn't supposed to be this way.
"We were going to go with you," she said. "Ron and I. When the time came, we were going to go with you. But now… I…."
I can't help you.
Not like this.
Her head was pounding. She was going to be sick.
His forehead dropped forward to rest on hers.
"I don't blame you, Hermione. This isn't your fault."
"Harry… I can't let you… what if I never see you again?"
"Shh," he said.
I need to be able to help you… that's what I've always done…
He kissed her. She gave into him, her fingers locking themselves in his hair. Their kisses were familiar by now, but this one felt different. It was more desperate, more painful, more real.
He pulled away and she wanted to clutch him closer. Her headache was making her eyes blur.
"I am so thankful that I was able to do… well, that before leaving."
His tone was playful and she could see the little boy in him, simply proud of being able to snog his girlfriend.
Oh, Harry…
He touched her cheek with his palm. "Whatever happens… I'm just happy you know I… love you."
"Always."
Her headache was so strong, she felt herself begin to tremble. She forced herself to focus.
"When will you face him?"
He sighed. "It's going to be soon. I can feel it."
"Harry… what if… I don't know…"
"Hey, don't sound like that. I've had good luck before, haven't I? I don't s'pose you'd remember though…"
No, she didn't, but she did know it was her job to help him.
That's what Hermione did, after all. She helped Harry Potter. She told him what potion was safe to drink, she researched Basilisks, she taught him spells, like Accio, yes, that was it.
Accio.
She taught him that.
***
"Mr. Potter, she's waking up."
Harry jumped up, dizzy for a moment as the room spun around him. Eyes heavy, he approached Hermione's bed, fighting exhaustion.
It was late morning.
And he hadn't left yet.
He was aware that with every passing second, he was putting the school into more danger. But it was Hermione. And he wasn't leaving until he knew.
He couldn't help the small, niggling feelings of hope. When she'd passed out in his arms, it had been just like the last time. And the last time she had lost her memories…
"The stress, Potter," Madam Pomfrey explained. "The potion was intended to relieve her of stress. The news you shared with her last night… well, once the potion stopped working…"
At least, that's what they were all hoping. Harry refused to contemplate the other reasons why Hermione went unconscious. He had to believe it was in some way connected to the potion.
Harry pushed his way to Hermione's bedside and took her hand. Professor McGonagall, Dumbledore, and Madam Pomfrey all took a step back, but continued to hover over them. Harry ignored the looks they exchanged.
"Hermione," he said, giving her hand a squeeze. "It's… Harry. Are you awake?"
Her eyes fluttered open, and she blinked at the faces staring down at her.
"Harry? What's… where am I?" She fought to sit up, glancing around her. "The hospital wing! Why am I-"
"Your memories," Harry cut in. "Are they, you know, back?"
"What?" Hermione said, still struggling to sit. She pushed hair out of her face, breathing hard. "Professor McGonagall, Professor Dumbledore… I don't understand. What happened? Why am I…." Alarm spread over her face and she turned to Harry. "Oh, are you alright? Did Voldemort… I can't remember the… what day is this?"
"Hermione," Harry said urgently. "Do you remember getting your Hogwarts' letter… do you-do you remember me? Meeting me?"
Hermione frowned. "Of course I do, you git. Why wouldn't I?"
"What's the last thing you remember?"
"What-"
"Just tell me. It's really important."
Hermione looked near tears. Harry held her hand tighter.
"We were on our way back to the common room… I had a headache. The coffee this morning tasted funny. I thought perhaps it had been food poisoning." She looked hopeful. "Was it food poisoning?"
"No, Hermione, it wasn't food poisoning."
Harry let go of her hand. He was shaking.
Hermione looked scared. "Harry, what's going on?"
Harry turned to Madam Pomfrey. "She doesn't remember. Why doesn't she remember?"
"Remember what?" Hermione said. Her face was pale.
Madam Pomfrey merely shook her head. "This entire incident has been most unprecedented."
"Incident?" Hermione's voice was trembling. She looked at Harry. "What happened to me?"
"Miss Granger," Dumbledore cut in. His voice was gentle. "Let me first assure you that you have not been harmed in any way. You have been kept safe and contented. Allow that to rest your mind."
Harry moved closer, wanting to reassure her before jerking himself back.
She didn't know. She did not know.
Harry took a deep breath. "Maybe-maybe if you give it a moment, things will come back. You'll remember, you-"
"Harry, remember what? Why can't you tell me?"
Harry stared at her, at a loss. She looked so much wearier than she had over the last few weeks. Without her memories, Hermione had been freer, loser… more daring. And when their relationship changed, she was always reaching for him, smiling at him, looking contented by his mere presence. He'd never seen her more carefree.
How did he even begin to describe any of that to her? Her memories-their first kiss-their promises of love-she didn't know any of it.
"Harry?" she prodded, worry causing her to chew at her bottom lip.
"I… er… you…"
Professor McGonagall interrupted him, her voice brisk. "Your friend Mr. Weasley slipped a stress reliever into your coffee, Miss Granger. The mixture had a disastrous effect-it removed all your memories of Hogwarts."
"Hogwarts?" Hermione repeated. "But why would that… oh, of course! A life without Hogwarts-my, would that be uneventful."
She smiled at Harry to show that she didn't blame him. Harry's stomach tightened, aware of the inherent truth in her words.
"But that doesn't make sense!" Hermione said. "I should remember… not remembering. It may as well be gone! There are no feelings… no sense-nothing."
"Maybe it only worked for as long as you stayed stress free," Harry mumbled. "Maybe you're not s'posed to remember it."
Hermione peered at him. "Perhaps."
"Miss Granger, if you don't mind, Poppy and I would like to attempt some tests… it is of the utmost importance we're able to uncover the reasons behind all of this…"
"Oh, I don't mind at all, Professor! I'm quite curious myself. Fascinating, isn't it, Harry?"
"What? Oh… er… yeah. Right."
Hermione barely heard him, gaining a far off gleam in her eye. Harry took the moment to slip unnoticed from the hospital wing. Outside, he jammed his hands in his pockets and began the long trek back to the common room. He had to pack.
Walking upstairs, Harry mentally went over everything in his head. Why hadn't the potion stopped earlier? Hadn't Snape's Legilimens been stressful? Malfoy's attack?
Maybe that wasn't enough… maybe it needed something more personal…
In a flash, their goodbye in the hospital wing came back to him. He could feel her fingers gripping his neck, her warm tears against his cheek.
As usual, Harry thought, making his way into his dormitory. I'm the problem.
The fact that the return of Hermione's memories had been something he wanted suddenly meant very little.
The dormitory was empty, the rest of the seventh-year boys were in class. Harry haphazardly began stuffing clothes and objects into a bag, mind far away from his task.
What did he tell her? What could he tell her? Hermione without her memories had been so insistent on them, so sure of them.
Finished packing, Harry grabbed his suitcase and yanked it out of the dormitory. I have to get Hedwig before I go, he thought absently. His suitcase made soft thudding noises as he dragged it downstairs.
Stumbling to a halt in the common room, Harry nearly fell over when the portrait hole swung open and Hermione walked in. She was dressed in her school robes and looked as well put together as always. Her face was grim and Harry found himself missing the adventurous, carefree girl she'd been without knowledge of their world.
Her eyes flicked to his suitcase before settling on his face. "Is it time to go, then?"
Harry opened his mouth, momentarily stunned. "What… what do you-"
"Oh, come off it," she said. "I've been packed for a month. If you're going, so am I."
Harry felt a rush of gratitude. She had her chin raised in the air, her posture daring him to argue.
"But-but… you shouldn't leave, we won't know how the potion-"
"Accio trunk!" Hermione called.
There was a moment of silence, followed by a large crash and Hermione's trunk zoomed into the common room, coming to a stop at her feet.
Harry watched, wide eyed.
"I'm going with you," she said.
Harry didn't argue.
"Now, let's find Ron. I'm sure he hasn't packed yet…"
With an air of disgust, Hermione turned and Harry stared at her retreating back, conflicting emotions running over his face.
He wanted-needed-to tell her what happened between them.
But he didn't know if that was his right. She deserved to sort out her own emotions, separate from him.
And he didn't know if he could handle a rejection.