"No one should ever hold beliefs, they should have ideas because at least those are open to change." ~ I can't remember where I got this from…if anyone knows please tell me
Sorry about any mistakes and lack of chapter plot a head of time!
Only one more chapter to go after this one!!!!
Chapter Six: Déjà Vu
Ginny cocked her head to the side, placed her hands to her cheeks, and pushed up. It was seven-thirty in the morning, and she'd woken up with a very strange feeling. So she did what she always did when she felt funny, she sat at her nightstand, in front of her mirror, contemplating.
Perhaps it was because she'd decided what she would do with Draco or maybe it was just her last vision.
Draco…
She wanted him; it was as simple as that. Just once. Ginny had come to the decision that 'it', would be tonight at eight o'clock. If it killed her, she'd spend all day, trying to get up the guts to do it.
She didn't care about the vision. Yet it was all her mind was on. If she was old soul, doomed to repeat her first life, then how could someone she loved be the doing of all this death? It made her wonder sometimes, why couldn't her life be more like the wind: swift, flighty, stopping to enjoy the moments that are worthwhile, and skipping all the rest.
Why did life have to get in the way? Why did it have to make everything so hopeless-worthless?
"I hate this world. It is cold and cruel, but nothing would change if I just killed myself, so I'm going to enjoy what I have," Ginny whispered, her eyes searching her face in the mirror as she convinced her self once more that what she was doing would be worth it.
Her depression was becoming too much, so she had needed to start a mantra, which seemed to be working for the most part. Of course it did help that she'd performed a 'happy spell' on herself.
Ginny bit her lip, nervousness settling in. It was almost time for her to go find Draco. She'd made sure he didn't have anything to do; she just hoped she could catch him before he went into the Slytherin's common room.
The only preparation Ginny had done for her plans was to wear her new green under garments that Hermione had purchased for her as a back to school present. It seemed during the Hogsmeade trip Ginny had opted out on Hermione had gone shopping in a muggle store and gone directly to the lingerie. Hermione had informed Ginny; after she'd purchased it that it would have either been black or green because of Ginny's complexion. Hermione had picked what she'd called an under wired, stretch lace, babydoll with matching silk knickers. It had been slightly uncomfortable at first, the under wire being directly under her breasts and all.
"Oh Ginny, you're magnificent. You must look at yourself," Hermione exclaimed, giddily.
Ginny frowned and walked to the mirror, continually adjusted the upper half of the clothing. At first she didn't recognize the young woman in the mirror because she actually looked feminine, pretty even, like she actually had some curves too. It made her breasts look fuller, her waist tiny, and her legs slender yet muscular at the same time. Of course it was nothing like the body of the model on the advertisement picture, but for Ginny was enough.
"I had to get it. When I saw it, it just seemed to scream at me to get it for you. Call it a late back to school gift."
"How did you know my size?" Ginny whispered, still not having taken her eyes away from the mirror.
"Ginny how long have we known each other? How many times have we had to share a room? How many times have we gotten our clothes mixed up with the laundry? I'm not a genius for nothing you know," Hermione chuckled.
Ginny snorted. "You are so full of it," she teased.
Hermione wiggled her nose. "I know."
Ginny gave her a quick, but tight hug. "Thank you."
"You're welcome," she said, her voice softening.
So now, she was wearing it for the first time, with only a buttoned up cloak covering it. Her hair she'd pulled up in a ponytail, not wanting it to be in her way when she went to him. She had a tendency to hide behind her hair and it was something she just couldn't do.
Ginny gently applied an almost clear, orange tinted, Mango flavored lip-gloss. "Okay, no backing out now," she whispered to image.
*****
Ginny glared as she stomped down the hallway. She'd made herself angry with her thoughts and reasons of why she shouldn't be doing this. At this point she didn't care. Let history repeat itself, she thought, giving a silent warrior cry to follow. She grinded her teeth, and clenched her hands together as she saw him strutting down the hall, his back to her.
It seemed it was just seconds and she was behind him, his gentle smelling cologne lingering slightly behind him. She didn't think, she just acted, which never ended well for Ginny.
Reaching her arm out, she slid her hand into his, lacing their fingers together, gently pulling him around.
"Weasley, have you gone mad?" he demanded.
But she didn't answer as she pulled him into her arms, kissing him; with all the passion she could muster.
She couldn't remember the time she'd ever felt like this. It was magic, what his lips, what his kisses could do to her. It had more spark than any type of spell she'd ever done, more than anything she'd ever felt. It was beyond magic.
Ginny closed her eyes, preparing herself as she gave one last lick to his tongue before pulling away. Then she slowly opened her eyes. "I-I love you Draco."
His eyes widened with surprise, clearly stating that that had not been what he'd expected. Then the look quickly swept away, his teeth gritting with irritation. "I'm sorry, but you can't. No," he said as if it were an after thought, "I don't want you to love me. I can't be with you Ginny, why can't you understand that? My father is-"
Ginny frowned. He'd accepted what she'd said so easily, as if he knew it had been coming.
Leaning forward, she clasped his hands tighter into hers so that he wouldn't pull away, "People don't love because they want to, they do it because they simply can't help it. There's always a danger in loving someone too much and the fact that your father is Lucius Malfoy means no never mind to me. It's always something," Ginny whispered against his cheek, her neck resting against the side of his mouth. "I'm not asking for you to be with me forever, I just want you to let me love you for the moments I can have."
"I thought you said you can't help loving someone, so why do you need my permission, no matter how against it I am?"
She gently kissed an obviously sensitive spot beneath his earlobe, smiling as she felt him shiver. "You can't, but if the love isn't wanted it can be an extremely difficult task." Ginny stopped speaking; gently nudging the side of his face like a tiny kitten would when looking for comfort, and leaned to whisper in his ear, her hands gripping his tightly. "Let me love you. Let me love you like I want to love you, like you deserved to be loved."
Ginny pulled back a little, disengaging her hands from his to wrap her arms tightly around his midriff. She heard and felt him sigh heavily, sounding highly defeated, his arms dangling at his side, not returning her affection.
Oh how she wanted to look at him, to see the emotions that were hopefully forming in his seductive gray eyes. Doing this felt so natural, like they were meant too. If she was going to be honest it almost felt like déjà vu.
"I'm still overcome by how much I love you," Ginny paused, noticing him flinch at her words. "When I figured it out I cried because of how swift the realization was. It amazed me how much you'd captured my heart. It's just a little sad when I know it's your heart I can't ever touch because of who you are, who your family is. It's a little defeating sometimes. I've tried so hard to stop it, wishing that there was a button that would just stop my heart from pounding so hard in my chest that it might burst every time I come near you, every time you look at me."
"You aren't made for the life your father has committed you to. You don't deserve to be treated so poorly, to bow at someone's feet? Draco Malfoy? Never! You're a good man Draco and your mother and father haven't a clue how lucky they are to call you their own. If you were mine and you loved me, I'd take that love-assuming it had a solid form of course-and lock it up. I'd never give it back. "
"That was kind of unnerving," he muttered softly, then dropped his chin against her shoulder. "Ginny, if we were to have a relationship it wouldn't be conventional. I don't want to use you, I respect you too much for that," he paused and Ginny could almost feel his smirk.
"Never thought you'd say that to a Weasley huh?" she smiled half heartedly, though it didn't quite reach her saddened eyes.
"You read my thoughts."
"I do that often."
Draco chuckled, his arms going to rest against her hips. "I've noticed. I think I know why Potter was so uneasy around you."
"What?"
"Is this how you declared you loved him?"
Ginny pulled away, her arms still wrapped around his waist. She frowned at him, his eyes filled with amusement. "What I had for Harry wasn't love. Sure it was to much to be a crush, it just wasn't enough to be love," she laughed a little, "I'd say it was infatuation."
Ginny nibbled her bottom lip in thought, trying to find a way to explain her feelings to him. "Draco, it feels natural to talk to me, to be with me doesn't it?"
Ginny stared at him as his eyes flashed from gray to silver as they always did when he was thinking intently on a matter. "Nothing I do with you is natural."
"Oh," she whispered, dropping her eyes.
She felt him sigh and pull away, her heart hurting too much for her to stop his movement. What surprised her however was the feel of his fingers lacing with hers, pulling her towards the direction he'd been going.
****
"You have your own room," Ginny spoke softly, looking around noticing the bed right away.
It was huge with dark green cover and sheets. It was way bigger than any of the regular beds. The room was definitely darker than she'd expected, but of course green was one of the main house colors for him and he had a lot of black clothes.
He glanced up from his task of emptying his pockets, raising an eyebrow. "Yes, of course."
Ginny bit back a smile. He'd said it as if it had been the most natural thing in the world.
"Now," he started, elegantly leaning against his mahogany desk.
"Now we have sex?" Ginny blurted out.
The minute she did she wanted to go drown herself in the lake. What had she been thinking?
She held in a groan as she watched Draco's cheeks turn a light shade of pink. "Ginny, I didn't bring you up here to have sex," he chuckled, his face still a pinkish color.
"Oh," she whispered. "I was kind of hoping that was the reason though," she informed.
Her face burned with embarrassment as she watched his eyes widen slightly. "I'm sorry, I don't know what's wrong with me. I did a spell to make me happier and more easy going, but I think it just skipped to me being loose."
Ginny's breath caught as a smile broke out on his face.
"Nervous about it huh?" he grinned.
"Well obviously," she cried out, reaching her hand up to pull her ponytail out.
She then started on the buttons of her cloak, quickly slipping her arms out of the sleeves and throwing it on to bed.
"I went to great lengths to be ready for you, to make you want me-" she paused and looked at his face.
She watched his Adam's apple role up and down as he swallowed, his eyes greedily taking in her appearance.
"Wow, Weasley, you-wow," he breathed.
"Would you just stick with Ginny, because I definitely don't want you calling out Weasley when you're-when we're-it would remind me of one of my brothers."
Her gut clenched as she watched his tongue slip out and lick his lips, his arms casually folded over his chest, making him look only slightly ruffled. She jumped when he moved, one of his hands reaching to the cuff of his arm on his white school tuxedo shirt. He slipped the button out, and then went to perform the same task on his other sleeve.
Ginny wanted to feel a lot more awkward and exposed, like she would normally feel if she hadn't did this blasted spell. She should have known it would backfire some how. She gulped as she watched his hands unbutton the first few buttons of his shirt. Ginny was only slightly relieved when he only undid four.
He walked towards her, stopping only a foot away from her. "Are you sure about this Wea-Ginny?"
"Y-yes."
"Be sure, because I won't let you back out later. I'm not one for a tease," he informed her. "I won't-"
Ginny raised her hands to his chest, continuing to unbutton his shirt. "I'm sure Draco. I've dreamed of this."
He grabbed her hands, stopping her on the last button, "It's not going to be some girlish dream. It won't be a fantasy. It'll be painful and permanent. You can never get it back."
She knew what he spoke of; he was being, in his slightly warped mind, gallant. She leaned forward a kissed him full on the mouth. "I don't have girlish dreams," she smiled. "I never did," she added as she pulled his shirt off, and then went for the front of his black slacks.
He grunted as her fingers faltered.
"Sorry, it's my first time," she joked, lifting her head up to smile at him.
But he didn't smile back; instead his gaze was intense, never leaving hers as he lifted a hand up to run her through her already disheveled hair. "You are so strange," he whispered, before cupping his hand behind her head and pulling her to him.
She didn't know how they got to the bed, or how Draco got on top of her, but she knew she loved the weight of him on her.
Ginny shivered as she felt his hand slid up her waist, then to her breast cupping it through the green lace that still covered her body. His pants were still on, but unbuttoned, letting her feel the more heat between her thighs.
His kisses were sensual and intoxicating. He would pull away slightly, teasing her, making her seek out for more kisses. Ginny grunted as he dropped his head to her breast and began sucking her nipple through the lace cloth.
Chills broke out over her body, her mouth dropped, her head pushing back into the Egyptian cotton pillow covering. Her arms stayed tight to her side, her fists clutching the sheet. She didn't know what to do with her hands, so she left them to their business in the covers.
"Ginny," Draco breathed against her wet, clothed nipple.
"Mm," she groaned, not really hearing him.
"I'm going to take this off of you now," he said pulling the upper have of her body up, supporting her weight with one arm, as he reached for the hem, which stopped at the very top of her thighs. Ginny shivered at the feel of his fingers against her over heated flesh.
If he would just move up a little he would be brushing his hand between her legs. Oh how she wanted that.
Ginny bit her lip as she felt the material slide up and go quickly over her head. Draco laid her back onto the cool sheets of the bed and with her knickers still on spread her thighs so that he could lay between them.
Her eyes widened as she felt his naked hips go between her thighs, not knowing when he'd taken his pants off. He groaned so softly Ginny hadn't thought she'd heard it at first as their bare chests pushed together. She felt him move slightly and then slammed her eyelids shut as she felt his hand slide into her last stitch of clothing.
"We'll leave your knickers on for a little bit, yeah?" he spoke breathlessly.
She nodded, her hands itching to cover up her face so he wouldn't see her expressions. "What are you doing?" she gasped as she felt him spread her lips and insert a finger into her.
He licked her neck. "I'm letting get adjusted to the feeling of something inside. It prepares you a little and even better, it feels good."
"Yes," she breathed, slightly embarrassed when her hips started to move with his thrusting finger.
"That's my girl," he whispered in her ear and then gently sucked on her earlobe.
Her heart did a flip-flop, not completely sure if it was from what he said or from the sucking.
"What can I do with my hands?" Ginny asked, a little to loudly.
"You can touch yourself with me, or wrap your arms around my neck," he said between kissing her neck.
She knew she wouldn't do the first, even with the spell she wasn't completely comfortable yet, so she opted for the second. Besides, she loved touching him.
Her fingernails dug into his shoulders and she cringed when she felt another finger go into her. It was extremely awkward, almost uncomfortable at first, but the sound of the gushing movement made her enjoy it more, especially when the strange feeling was replaced with pleasure.
"Ah," Draco grunted, pulling slightly away from her digging fingernails. "Sharp nails," he told her, grinning down.
"Sorry."
"Don't have to be sorry," he whispered, his breathing only slightly irregular.
It was then that she felt her knickers slide down her thighs, past her knees, over her feet. No barriers.
He pushed her knees up, so that her feet were set firmly on the bed. He brought her arms to their sides, placing her hands on his lower back. She felt him slowly lift up, watching his arm slip between them. She could feel movement and shivered when she felt something brush against her.
Draco pushed the tip of his cock slightly into her, and then paused. "I almost forgot," he said reaching across her, slightly jarring their comfortable position. She watched him, never taking her eyes away from his movements, take out a wand, hold it over her stomach and whisper something she couldn't hear. "Contraception spell," he told her.
"Draco wait a second," she mumbled.
She thought she heard him growl slightly. "I told you-"
"Oh it's not that, I just want to make sure that before we claim this never happened, I want to be on top one of these times."
He snorted, hard. Something Ginny had thought unbecoming of Draco Malfoy. "Oh you would!" he accused, smiling widely.
"Just so we're clear," she said, sounding like a young teacher.
He gazed into her eyes and then swiftly pushed forward. "Ginny relax," he grunted. "Merlin you're tight, stop clenching like that or this will be over before it starts," he growled out before biting his lip.
Within seconds he was fully inside her and it burned, it hurt more than she'd expected. She felt her eyes burn from the tears, trying desperately not to let them fall.
"Gin-" he started panting.
"I'm not a baby," she argued.
"I didn't say you were," he sighed, withdrawing from her a little.
Ginny had never acted this way before, spell or not. She didn't know what had come over her.
"Wait, you don't have to leave," she said, slightly panicked.
He stopped, frowned, and then glanced down at her. "Are you crazy? Of course I'm not leaving," he said clucking his tongue and then pushing almost roughly forward.
She hiccupped a gasp as the burning pain intensified. Ginny gritted her teeth as he repeated the tiny movement and she could no longer hold the tears in. She turned her face to the side, trying to hide in the pillow. Ginny had heard stories of how girls crying tended to turn a guy off. She wanted Draco get pleasure out of this, even if she didn't. She would in the next time and knowing that was enough.
Just then, as if it had been the most natural thing in the world, the pain went almost completely away.
Ginny sucked in her breath, which caused Draco to glance at her, a small smile on his face.
"Feel better?" he asked softly in her ear.
She nodded her head and then closed her eyes, her mouth opening in a silent gasp. Ginny instinctively wrapped her legs around his waist as he continued thrusting, and placed her hands on his arse, beneath her ankles, pushing him to go a little faster.
Draco hissed and Ginny knew it was because of her movements. It had caused a different angle that could only be described as amazing. "Oh yes," he ground out, his teeth biting into her shoulder as his movements went faster.
And she felt it…something she didn't want to feel happening. "Oh no, not please not now," she moaned, her hips started to push up to meet his.
"What?" he grunted.
A vision, how could this happen now? she thought wildly.
"A vision," she gasped, her back arching off the bed so swiftly that Draco cried out.
She was dimly aware of something shooting into her before she was lost in her vision.
Ginny glanced up at Nefernefrure, confused. Am I sitting down? she thought to herself, cocking her head to the side.
Ginny looked down and saw fur.
What the…
It was then that Ginny felt it, a fear, a danger…something was wrong. Her ears perked as she took an alert stance, then bounded in front of the princess.
Ginny never saw it coming, the knife that slit her furry belly, as she collapsed to the ground, changing into a girl. Ginny glanced up and stared at the man she loved.
Then Ginny was pulled away from the dying girl and saw her whisper something in Egyptian, something that sounded very familiar. She saw the hurt in the girls face, the betrayal as she looked up at the man that resembled Draco so much. Ginny watched as another girl, exotically gorgeous walked up to him and wrapped her arms around him.
The new girl, with black hair, black eyes, and golden skin, sneered down at the girl who had just minutes ago been a gazelle and she spoke to her.
Ginny knew these words. She'd been horribly betrayed. Ginny felt her heart aching for the girl. She couldn't imagine dying, by the hands of her lover, and then seeing that he'd cheated on her at the same time.
Who was this poor girl?
With a snap of a finger Ginny was back. She blinked her eyes, starring up at Draco, who was still inside of her, on top of her panting.
"A vision, huh?"
Ginny nodded, slightly confused, adjusting to her surroundings.
"What did you see?" he asked, petting her hair out of her face.
"A gazelle," she said, coming back to her sense. She smiled up at him. "It was a nice vision," she lied.
"That's good," he whispered, "I suppose you don't get much of those."
She shook her head. "I think it was because of you, by being with me."
He grinned smugly. "Damn, I'm good."
"Yes you are," she chuckled, half-heartedly.
There was no way she'd tell him what she really saw, when she should have been filled with pleasure, she'd only saw and felt pain.
"So now can I be on top?" she asked casually.
"You little minx, you vision didn't take nothing but a minute. Give me a few seconds to breath."
She lifted her hand up to his face, smiling at the look of ease on his face. She didn't want this night to end. The vision aside it had been perfect.
To Be Continued…
I know, I know…wasn't exactly the best sex scene, but I wanted the vision to happen while they were doing it. Sorry for the mistakes and the kind of dry chapter, hopefully you all liked it.
I appreciate everyone's feedback about my first note in my last chapter. I thought I had made it clear though that it wasn't the other stuff, that it was mainly me and my disinterest for writing that's currently happening. The other stuff only helped a little and I still haven't completely made my decision…obviously since I've written this. I haven't been able to tell if it was from not wanting to disappoint everyone who actually reads my stories, or because I spoke too soon and just needed to wait for the block to go away.
Anyhow, I hope you all enjoyed it! Reviews are muchly appreciated! ~Aya