Chapter Four: Finally
By Natali K. A.
"I'm tired of waiting," James whined to Remus. "It's Christmas holiday! What time better than now when every bloody girl is wishing and hoping for someone to kiss her under the mistletoe? It's the most romantic time of the year!"
Remus grinned at James. "Calm down, mate."
"No!"
"Seriously. Chill." Remus tossed a ball into the air and then caught it. "Alright. Ask her out. I think it's time."
James stopped his pacing. "Seriously?"
"Seriously."
James scratched his chin. "What if she rejects me?"
Remus threw a pillow at him from his bed.
"Suck it up! I've heard enough of your whining!"
James grinned, snatching up his Head Boy badge. "I'm going to go find her. Maybe we'll go out to dinner before we discuss our duties."
*~*
Lily lay in bed, staring up at the ceiling.
She loved him. Gosh, how she loved him!
She wanted to show him how much she loved him-but how does one go about showing such a strong emotion as that?
"Lily," James muttered. "You're thinking again."
"I know," she smiled fondly into the dark. His hand found hers on the bedspread.
"What were you thinking about?"
"How much I love you."
She could almost see James smiling cockishly into the dark.
"Those are nice thoughts. But go to sleep, Lils. You haven't been sleeping a lot lately."
Lily sighed. "Babe, I'm sorry about earlier."
"For what? Lily, you don't seriously think that I'm upset because you didn't want to-"
"It's not that I didn't want to. I didn't feel good."
"And that's alright," James crooned. He pulled her close to him. "In case you haven't noticed, I like you for more than the sex-though that does rock my world."
Lily grinned at him. She wanted to show him how much she loved him… She thought she knew how…
"My hormones are a little crazy at the moment," she explained. "But I want to now."
James laughed. "Lils, it's nearly three in the morning and we've got to wake up early tomorrow."
"But I can't sleep."
"Why ever not, my love?"
"Too much on my mind," Lily sighed, snuggling into the crook of his arm. "I found out some news today."
"Good or bad?"
"Well, both actually. Good for every other person on earth-bad for me."
"What happened, Lily?" James asked worriedly.
"I'm pregnant."
For a moment, the world around them stopped. He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named never existed, Dark times were not upon them, their world was not in jeopardy, and most of all they were just Lily and James again. Just that and nothing else.
"Am I the father?" James stuttered. He was sure had he been standing he would've fallen.
Lily snorted. "Well who else is going to bloody be?"
"No, no, of course. I just… Ah." For once, James Potter was speechless. "But we always did the charm-"
"Not true," Lily amended. That week in Wales was a bit lax, wasn't it? I remember seven specific times when we didn't use the charm."
James did some math in his head. "Bloody hell, Lils." She felt his hand run down to her stomach. "We're going to have a baby."
Lily instantly felt guilty for labeling this "bad news". He sounded so excited and exuberant at the mere thought of having a baby with her.
"I know," she whispered, catching his lips. "I just wish it wasn't now, what with You-Know-Who-"
"I don't give a sodding shit!" James exclaimed, bouncing up in the bed and pulling her to him. "We're bringing a life into the world, Lils. Oh, Lils…" His lips found the pulse at her neck and he suckled softly. A shiver racked her as she wound her arms around his neck. "You have never seemed more beautiful to me than you do now."
Lily's eyes felt wet. "I wanted to show you how much I love you. I couldn't think of anything else. You've wanted a baby so much, James. I won't lie. I think part of me didn't want to use any sort of protection. I purposely didn't mention anything in Wales."
He didn't reply. His hands were too busy slipping off the big shirt she slept in, his lips too busy claiming her own. He had never been so gentle with her.
Slowly, reverently-almost as if he was afraid of hurting her-he lay her down in the center of the bed and came over her. Then he began his worship of her.
She'd always been very grateful of the fact that he took pleasure in her own pleasure. He would take extreme measures to make sure she got what she deserved.
His hot, wet lips pressed open-mouthed kisses down from her throat to her naked breasts. His beard had already begun to grow in and he scratched her as he laved her peaked nipples. He sucked one then sucked the other even harder.
Lily grasped the bed sheets tightly as he made his way lower, littering soft feathery kisses all over her abdomen.
When he reached her simply pink cotton knickers, he tugged them off with his teeth, feeling not a bit embarrassed about rubbing her red curls in his face. Once it was past her upper thigh, he reached up and yanked them off. His hands strayed up her inner thighs, lingering just around her most intimate spot as he littered yet more kisses on her thighs.
James' tongue would dart out and in, out and in, out and in repeatedly as Lily's breaths grew more desperate and her control began to waver. An impatient hum slipped out and James got the message.
He tenderly set his tongue to her center, undulating the pressure. Lily's hips bucked but his hands kept her steady as he continued the pleasurable torture. He nibbled, licked, rolled, and did almost everything he could think of until at last on a cry of passion Lily climaxed, clutching his head.
The waves shook her seconds after as he continued to play with the tiny bud to extricate every single ounce of pleasure that he could.
"Gosh, James," Lily gasped, lying boneless in the bed. "Are you trying to kill me?"
She felt rather than heard the chuckle that rumbled in his chest as he placed one last kiss on her and pull himself above her.
Lily beckoned him closer with open arms, wrapping them surely around him when he obliged.
"I love you, Lils," he said hoarsely. His voice sounded watery but she didn't make a comment. "I love our baby, but I love you more."
Somewhat recovered from her pleasure, she stroked his back softly. "Go to sleep, baby. You're tired."
"Not that tired," James said curtly, pushing away from her and situating himself at her entrance.
Lily laughed, repositioning herself to welcome him easier. "Go for it," she said softly, the smallest trace of a smile on her lips.
With one thrust, he'd imbedded himself in her. She was wet and hot and soft and delicious… James groaned. He never got tired of that feeling and it only got better with time.
Minutes later he'd brought them both to their peak and they were slowly making their way back to the real world. He made to disengage himself from her but she stopped him.
"Stay, please. I like how you make me feel," Lily mumbled sleepily, her eyes already closing.
"But what if I hurt you, Lils?"
There was no response. Lily was already off in a dreamless sleep, a pleased and satisfied look on her face. James rolled his eyes and rolled them both over so that she was on top.
She always fell asleep right after sex. What was with that anyway?
He looked at his wife and couldn't help but feel anything but the greatest love for her. She was so utterly perfect and he would never think otherwise. Even her faults were perfect.
Yet he had to face the facts. There was a Dark wizard coming to power and there were bad times up ahead. His child would likely be raised in a time of fear and uncertainty and there wasn't anything he could do about it. He would protect his family as best as he could, but there was no way he could assure their safety.
He felt powerless and hated it. He hated it more than he hated the Dark wizard.
"Stop thinking," Lily whispered, taking his hand. "Get some sleep."
He laughed shortly and obeyed her, falling into a dream wrought with fears and dark hooded figures and blinding flashes of white-green light.
*~*
This time Lily awoke slowly. She knew the dream had finished for once and had not stopped somewhere before the end. She'd finished an entire dream and felt flushed with fever.
"Lily, snap out of it," she told herself sternly. Just then, she heard footsteps coming down the stairs which was odd for a Hogsmeade weekend. She turned and found James Potter walking towards her.
"Good afternoon," Lily nodded.
"Good afternoon," James repeated, stopping a foot in front of her. "Want to go for a walk, Lily?"
"Sure." She accepted his outstretched hand and they walked out of the common room together, heading for what Lily presumed were the grounds.
"I've been meaning to talk to you lately, about a matter of something a tad important," James began once they'd reached the outdoors. They took a left to go around the back of the castle.
"Oh? Head duties?" Lily asked.
"No. On the subject of dreams actually."
Lily almost stopped breathing but managed to keep her cool. "Dreams, James? Are they troubling you?"
"No, they're troubling you."
Lily ceased walking and turn to look him in the eye. "What are you talking about?"
"I know that you've been having dreams about me."
Her blush gave her away and she knew it was futile to deny it. "Fine. Yeah, I am having some… disturbing dreams about you, if you must know."
"Disturbing?" Lily could tell he was trying not to grin. She felt as if he had anyway.
"Yes, disturbing. What you're too pretty for anyone to be having disturbing dreams about you?" Lily snapped as she continued walking. "Or is it a disturbing dream only when you keep your clothes on?"
"My nudity isn't relevant, Lily," James smiled. "It's what I'm doing that is. Clothes or no clothes isn't much of a problem."
Lily blushed once more. "Well, fine, but these dreams disturb me."
"Why? Are they prophetic?"
"Gosh, I hope not!" she exclaimed hysterically, stopping once more and almost bumping into him. She avoided touching any part of him. "They're not prophetic," she said with more poise and conviction. "In the least."
"Funny thing dreams. They tend to express your dearest, deepest, darkest desires."
"Enough of the alliterations, James. Don't be daft. My deepest, darkest desire isn't to shag you, for heaven's sake!"
He let out a chortle. "You're right, probably not all that deep at all, is it?"
She was tempted to slap him.
"Alright, alright," he said. "I'll be serious now. Well, not-"
She had come to know him so well in the past few months that she knew what he was about to say. "Don't you dare make a Sirius pun or I promise I'll knee your family jewels right this instant, Potter. They're disgusting and not funny in the least."
"I'm not sure about the disgusting part, but I should hope my jewels aren't funny," he said, feigning offense. "No, seriously, I'll be serious. I've known for months you know."
"Known what exactly?" Lily said snappishly, forgetting what the initial conversation was about.
"About your dreams, of course."
Her eyebrows nearly flew off her face. "Remus told you, did he?"
"I'm supposed to say no."
"How pleasant of him to have done so."
"I thought so, actually." He paused and took a step nearer to her, to which she backed up. "I want to talk to you about it, Lily."
"There's nothing to talk about. They'll go away soon," she stated stubbornly, crossing her arms and all. Before she could take another step, he got closer and clamped her to him, his arms anchoring her.
"But my feelings won't."
Lily sighed deeply, the strength leaving her. "James, it's a school crush and will disappear in no time. I don't have the time to waste on a boyfriend with N.E.W.T. testing nearly here. I've even already begun to study," she explained softly. "It wouldn't work, we're too different."
"Not as different as you think."
She considered his face for a minute before agreeing, "No, we're not I suppose. It's not that I'm not attracted, I just don't have the bloody time to spend on a boyfriend or on dating or even on leisure time. Had it been last year I probably would've said yes, but it's not. It's this year. It's now. We don't have the time."
"Nothing complicated, Lily," James whispered, leaning down to her. "No official titles till school is over. We don't even have to date or spend any time together. Just tell me that you want it. I can wait if that's the truth."
Lily felt powerless yet strangely protected in his arms as she was. There wasn't a thing he could ask that she could deny him at that moment. "I do want it."
His lips edged nearer and the only thing that could fit between them at the moment was a scrap of parchment.
"Then that's enough."
His lips swooped down on hers and she instinctively opened herself to him. It was the most enchanting feeling in the world. The dreams would good-the reality was better.
"Mmm," Lily hummed as they parted. "I… Uh…"
"Nothing. You don't have to say a word. When you're ready, that'll be enough and I'll be here waiting," he told her, voice low and raw. "But until then, I don't see the harm in giving our mouths time to get acquainted."
"Oh," was all Lily could say as he brought her even closer and kissed her again, this time with more desire, desperation, and hunger.
It felt good, but she couldn't shake off the fact that she couldn't trust him completely yet.
He'd asked her dozens of times to go out on a date with her, and each time she had turned him down. So what was the difference this time? Had he really changed from the cocky, big-headed prat she'd known for most of her Hogwarts career?
*~*
A/N: Ok, sorry it's taken all day, but I'm terribly sick. I've got a slight fever at the moment and I felt faint earlier. But it's here, on time, even though I wish I'd gotten it out earlier. My apologies, but somehow I don't think anyone will be too upset.
Now, to clarify: They aren't dating at the moment. They're… Well technically they're friends with benefits, but let's agree on that it's definitely more than that, eh? Also, Lily isn't upset with the fact that she's having a baby, but actually more concerned with the fact of the time that she'll have to raise that baby.
Some people might disagree on the fact that you love your spouse more than you love your children. I myself think that you have more (if you use the term loosely, anyway) love for someone you created and brought up than someone you met. But I think we can agree as well on the fact that Lily and James aren't an everyday couple and their love can stand the test of time. While it's unfair and untrue to say that James loves the baby "more", I ask you to settle for the idea that it's different types of love. Obviously James won't ever find his child attractive in the way that he finds Lily attractive (and if you're into that kind of yucky stuff, this fic is not the one for you).
I don't think this was the direction I'd planned on taking this particular chapter, but I'll let it be for now. I think another chapter or so should do it, maybe with an epilogue to boot. I'm not sure. We'll see.
So, I ask for prayers concerning my ill health, and for reviews to make me feel better. :- D
I know a lot of people have been waiting for them to get together already and for some smut. I hope you had your fulfillment of that. (I'm a terrible smut author, so I ask for forgiveness).
Love you all and thanks for your reviews and your patience!
Natali K. A.
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