Song: Two songs. "A Puro Dolor" by Son by Four or "Alejate" by Josh Groban. Both in Spanish. :-P Both very… *sigh*. Beautiful. From two different perspectives, of course.
Chapter Five
By Natali
(--Memories...--)
"Lils," Lynn said from her bed. She smiled wickedly at me. "What's this? Getting back at two in the morning? From Potter's parents' house?"
Lily scowled at Lynn. "Yes, I am just getting back. And for your bloody information, we had a wicked time, thank you."
"Ooh, Lils is on the defensive," Julie giggled. "Did you hear that, Angel?"
"I heard," Angel said. "What, Lils? You're afraid we're gonna make fun of you?"
"No, not Lils... She just wants us to ask her how comfortable Potter's bed is," Lynn taunted. "So, how about, Lils? Is it worthy of Potter?" She rolled onto her back and stared at Lily upside down. "Is he worthy, if you catch my drift?"
A sprinkle of giggles went throughout the dormitory. And Lily, despite the fact they were laughing at her in a way, couldn't resist a smile.
"Alright, you guys are funny," she admitted, "But just to be clear, I didn't even step into his room."
"Ah, alas," Julie sighed. "You've disappointed me, Lils."
Lily laughed and began to undress. "His parents are so funny. And his little sister! Oh, they're the cutest together. A real family, you know?" Without realizing it, her voice had softened.
Lynn and Julie shared a look. It was silently agreed they would have a private chat with Lily some other time. There were some things that had to stay outside of the grapevine.
Angel though, was no idiot. "Oh my gosh, Lily. You really like him, don't you? Potter the Player and Lily Evans... I would never have imagined it."
Lily slowly turned to look at her, a mysterious smile on her lips. "He's different than what you all imagine him. He's not at all bad."
Julie nodded. "Yeah, I agree, Lily. James isn't at all what everyone thinks."
"He's still a player though," Lynn said, giving Lily a hard look.
"Don't worry. Somehow, I don't think he's in any rush to jeopardize this relationship..." The dreamy look on her face sparked her friends' interests.
After a few minutes of silence, Julie finally spoke up.
"Well, it seems to me that the last year of Hogwarts is going to be filled to the brim with guys, hormones, and N.E.W.T.s. Wonderful."
*~*
(-Present...-)
"So there you go, Jocelyn," Lily said softly. "I'm going to skip a few months now."
Jocelyn looked at her thoughtfully. "You know, Lily, I think this is doing you some good. Go and take a break. There's someone I need to talk to at this house a few miles away. I won't be more than half an hour."
Lily, who knew more than Jocelyn thought she did, tried very hard not to smile. "Very well, Jocelyn. I'll go write a letter to my friends so that they know that I'm not dead."
"You're going to tell them where you are?" Jocelyn asked hopefully.
"No."
Jocelyn deflated. "Alright. Go on then, and I'll let you know when I get back. I won't be more than an hour."
Lily nodded, rising from the table. "Thank you. For listening. I know you don't have to." She walked towards her room.
"Oh, dear, I have to," Jocelyn muttered. She disapparated then, straight to Wrights' Hall.
James heard a knock on his door. He looked up from the random spot on the wall he'd been staring at. "Come in." He didn't really want to have a visitor, but he could hardly be rude, considering that he was barely welcome.
But it wasn't who he was expecting.
"Aunt Jocelyn!" he said, shocked. "How...? Why...?"
"I've known you since you were sucking your mum's tit. Don't give me that." Jocelyn strode into the room boldly and plopped down into a chair.
James scowled at her. Suddenly, the thoughts he'd been trying to ward off came rushing back; Lily's possible pregnancy, the blackmailer, Penny, his mates...
"Jo, no offense, but I'm really no mood to talk to anyone just now," he muttered, twiddling his thumbs. "And I mean that."
Jocelyn shook her head. "You're doing this wrong. I know you overheard Miriam and me talking. We're still not sure. Have you even thought of her?"
"Why the bloody hell do you think I'm here?" he cried out. "Aunt Jo, I love you, but I really don't need to hear what you're going to tell me! `Cause everyone's already told me, and I don't want to hear it!"
But Jocelyn only shook her head. "You're confused. I'm the one who's going to be doing the listening. Not you, my dear. So shoot. Tell me whatever you want. I'm here to hear you out, before judging you as an arse, which is the way you're headed."
James stared at her for a second before sighing heavily. "Fine then. Lily Evans and I were engaged. I got around ten owls saying that if I didn't sever my relationship with her, I'd pay dearly-with her life."
He looked down at the floor. "Somehow though, I don't think it's going to happen."
"What makes you say that?" Jocelyn asked softly.
He looked up at her once more. "Because knowing that she's here, that I can go to her, and kiss her, and marry her, is too big a temptation for me."
She couldn't resist smiling. "So then go to her. She says she hates you, but the look in her eyes whenever she talks about you isn't hate. It's love. So go, tell her what happened. She'll welcome you back with open arms."
James shook his head. "For her, I can't."
(-Back at the inn...-)
"Lils, come home, please," Lynn begged, tears in her eyes. "James isn't here. He left somewhere, we don't know where."
"His girlfriend is there," she said emotionlessly.
Julie began crying again. "Lils, please. Mate, come home. We'll shove her out. We don't like her anyway!"
But Lily shook her head. "He'll get home eventually. I'm staying here."
"Then where are you?" Sirius asked. "We'll go to you."
Again, Lily shook her head, red curls tickling her neck. "No. You'll stay there, and I'll stay here. I have business to attend to here. That's why I can't go home-I mean, there."
"It's still your home, Lils," Lynn said softly. Julie, Sirius, and Remus nodded emphatically.
"It's not," Lily argued. "I'm going to tell James what I need to tell him, then I'm going to go off and live in Ireland. Far, far away from him."
"He's there?" Remus asked suddenly, eyes narrowed.
Lily nodded. "Yes. He thinks I don't know, too. But he's kind of hard to miss. You tend to notice when someone who back-stabbed you is in your radius."
"Oh, Lily, if you could only see how totally miserable he is without you," Julie sighed.
"I don't need to see. I feel it."
"Remember that first Christmas you had together?" Lynn said suddenly. "Lils, please, beg him if you need to. That first Christmas, Lils."
For a moment, Lily's façade fell away, and the pain she'd been experiencing for the last eight days crept into her face. It was only an instant, but it was enough so that her friends saw it.
When she spoke, her voice cracked.
"Please," Lily begged, closing her tears to fight off the tears. "Stop it. All of you. You're not helping, at all."
And again, memories came rushing back, this one so painful that she broke down sobbing for her friends to see.
"I wish I could hug you, Lils," Lynn said, tears streaming down her cheeks. "Why won't you let us comfort you? We're your best mates?"
"Because," Lily sobbed, covering her face with her hands. "Because you're going to make me relive all these things that I don't want to. I already am, but with someone who has absolutely no tie to me. I can't, don't you understand?"
"You're going to make yourself sick, Lils," Remus said softly. "At least stop crying."
"I can't," she yelled, stepping away from the fire. "Bye, mates." She walked out of the room and headed down the hall, tears and memories clouding her vision...
(-Memories...-)
Lily Evans stepped down the stairs into the common room, wrapping her emerald green parka around her. It was Christmas Day, and nearly everyone had left for the holidays, bar her closest friends.
And the Marauders.
She spotted James, sunken deep in an armchair, staring idly at the fire. A soft smile spread on her lips as she walked towards him. "Happy Christmas, James."
He jumped suddenly and smiled at her. "Likewise, Lily." He held out his hand to her. "I'd get up, but I'm so comfortable."
She laughed and sat down on his lap. "That's too bad. I was hoping we could go on a sleigh ride. Dumbledore hired a bunch of them for today. And Christmas tea is at five or so, so we should get going."
James nodded absentmindedly. "That's a pretty parka."
"You gave it to me, silly," Lily laughed, hugging him. "Oh, this is comfortable. Now I don't want to get up either."
"We don't have to," James said slowly, nuzzling her neck.
"But we should. It would be such a waste of a pretty day."
"I already have my pretty day right here," he said softly. Lily blushed and looked down.
"Oh, James," she whispered.
He placed a finger under her chin and tipped her head up, gazing into her eyes. "Your eyes are dancing again," he told her softly, a slight purr in his voice.
She smiled and kissed him quickly. "You might not be a player anymore, but you're definitely a charmer, James."
He shrugged one shoulder. "It's a gift." He gathered her up in his arms and pulled her to him so that he was cradling her almost like a baby.
"This would make for a most interesting scene if McGonagall walked in all of a sudden," Lily giggled. "Though it wouldn't top the time she found us making out on the floor."
"The look on her face was priceless," James chuckled. "But it wasn't our fault. The rest of the seats were taken. Besides, I think she kind of expects us to be doing something we aren't supposed to do."
"Like last week when we skipped her class to go into Hogsmeade," Lily said. "Who knew that she was going there afterwards?"
"It's natural for me to get caught."
"At least she was nice about it. Just gave us more homework."
"About a week's worth."
"Well, at least it wasn't a detention-or points docked from Gryffindor. We're ahead of Slytherin and the rest by one hundred points last time I checked."
James nodded, eyeing the parka again. "You know, I have another present for you, Lils." His eyes slid to her pink lips before reaching her eyes.
"No," she sighed. "You're going to spoil me rotten, James."
He nodded. "As long as you're mine, you can be as spoiled as you'd like, Lils." He kissed her temple and reached over her to pick up a box Lily hadn't noticed before on the table. He handed it to her. "This is your real Christmas gift, Lils."
She couldn't suppress her smile, couldn't drown the bubble of happiness that had welled up in her, couldn't squash the love she had for him, couldn't not want to be with him. Forever.
Lily opened the little box and stared at its contents. James reached in and pulled out the present, a present so very beautiful that she felt breathless. Indeed, she was breathing so rapidly, and her pulse was so quick, she was breathless.
"James," she whispered, staring lovingly at the exquisite white gold chain necklace with her name dangling from it.
He began to place it around her neck, and she was helpless to stop him.
"One day, Lily, one day," he whispered in her ear. "I'll see you with nothing but this necklace on, and then I'll be the happiest man alive. But I'm going to wait, because you're worth waiting for."
For a moment, Lily didn't register what he said. And then it sunk in.
She shook her head, trying to gather her wits. "No," she said hoarsely.
"What?" James asked, alarmed. It felt like his heart had just fallen to the pit of his stomach. "No?"
"Wait, that's not what I meant. I-I can't think. Wait." She took a deep breath and let it out slowly, getting up. She extended her hand and he took it. "I meant no, you won't be waiting."
He looked at her, then scowled. "Lily, I didn't say that so you would shag me."
"I know that," she smiled. "But come anyway. Unless you don't want to."
Inside, he was fighting a battle. His instincts told him to go for it, that she was asking him to. But something at the back of his mind, his conscience probably, said not to, that he shouldn't.
Lily waited for him to answer. She wasn't going to sleep with him because he'd given her a present, no matter how utterly gorgeous it was. She loved him, and at that moment, she wanted to express that to him.
Finally, he looked up at her. "All right. But I still have doubts. I think your motives for this are all wrong." He stood and hugged her, kissing her forehead.
She sighed contentedly, and looked up at him. "Come here, I have a secret for you." When her lips were next to his ear, she whispered, "I love you. Is that motive wrong, James?"
It was stupid, but suddenly he swelled with something inside. James smiled and shook his head. "No, I guess your motives were right then."
"Good," she replied softly. "Because I wouldn't want you to think that I was going to make love to you because you've spoiled me today. For that I'd go out with Robert Jenkins."
He chuckled and his lips found hers.
A few minutes later, they were in his dormitory, and James was, as he'd predicted, the happiest man alive.
*~*
(-Present...-)
"Why am I here?" Lily asked herself suddenly. She'd gone once again to the place where he'd taken her that first date so many dates ago. She looked about her, at the late afternoon sun. "I'm not supposed to be here."
She narrowed her eyes in the direction of Wrights' Hall. Go there, Lily, one part of her said. Talk to him. You know he's hurting just as much as you are.
"I can't," she said aloud.
That's right, said another part of her. He thought he could do everything on his own. And look what he did to you: ripped out your heart and threw it away without a second thought.
The other part flared with anger. Not true. He thought about it a lot! Go, Lily. He wants you to.
If he really did, he would've told you, argued the other part.
"It's so like me to not be able to make up my mind," Lily sighed, tears clouding her vision again. "No. I will not go to him. I will not beg him to take me back. I will not deign to see him."
With that, half of her was happy.
The other half was so hurt, it wanted to die.
"So be it," Lily whispered into the wind. She headed back in the direction of the wind to leave Jocelyn a note. And then she'd go away. She could live. And she would.
(-Wrights' Hall...-)
Suddenly, half way through his story, James jumped up and looked out the window.
"She's gone."
"What?" Jocelyn said alarmingly. "She's what?"
"She's gone," he repeated. "She left. I can feel it. Go back to the inn. You'll see I'm right."
*~*
A/N: Not really much to say. I think. Um, happy Thanksgiving!! But yeah. That's really about it. And… that I had my first day as a volunteer today! Too fun!
Otherwise. Later sweeties.
Oh yeah. Review.
Natali K. A.
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