Song: "Loving Me For Me" by Christina Aguilera
Chapter Seven
(-Twelve months later, in Dublin, Ireland…-)
"Lily?"
Jocelyn threw the keys to their flat onto the hall table and shrugged off her coat. "Lily?" she repeated. "Are you in here?"
"Yeah, Jo," Lily smiled, coming into the room with a wooden spoon. "Here, try this." She spooned the white substance into Jocelyn's mouth. "What do you think of it? I made it from scratch."
"What is it?" Jocelyn asked, looking through the mail. "It's wicked, Lily."
"Thank you," Lily blushed. "It's something Indian. I'm not sure what." She laughed. "You see, when I copied down the recipe, I forgot to ask my cousin for the name!"
Jocelyn laughed. "Does it go by itself like that, though?"
"No," Lily yelled from the other room. "It goes on top of chicken, but I'm thinking of adding pasta to it. What do you say?"
"Sounds good." Jocelyn walked into their kitchen. "How did the conversation with Julie and Lynn go this morning?" she asked softly. It'd only been a few months since Lily had contacted her old friends. "I had to leave. Miriam was expecting me, and she was threatening to come here."
"It went fine," Lily smiled. "I think we're finally on the right track. I'm thinking about visiting them in London next week."
"Jolly good," Jocelyn cried out. She grabbed a piece of cheese from the fridge and sat at the kitchen counter. "How about a story, Lily? Are you up to it?"
Lily smiled at her. "Alright," she sighed exaggeratedly. "Happy or sad or romantic?"
"Whatever you're in the mood for," Jocelyn shrugged.
"Ok." Lily sensed something stir in her chest. She couldn't really put her finger on it. Randomly, she walked to the window of their second story city flat-a very expensive flat. She pushed aside the curtain, thinking of which story to tell her. Jocelyn had probably heard them all by now, but she didn't mind hearing them more than once. Over the course of the year they'd been together, Lily had discovered that Jocelyn was really a silly romantic at heart.
Just as she had been about to start a story, she spotted a man with jet-black hair, and even though she couldn't see them, gorgeous hazel eyes. A man that still wore those glasses that made him look so smart. A man that had no reason being in Ireland.
James Potter. Her James. In Ireland.
But who had told him? Had anyone even told him? She glanced at Jocelyn, waiting patiently as she nibbled on the cheese. No, not Jocelyn. Lily trusted her. Her mates at home? They only knew she was in Ireland, not where.
Then… he wasn't there for her. He couldn't have been.
Suddenly, her eyes met with his. And to her horror, he acknowledged who she was. She let the curtain fall, hiding her from view. She had felt his presence. She was sure of it. And he'd felt hers.
"Lily?" Jocelyn asked worriedly. "Are you ok? You seem a bit pale."
"Yes. Yes, I'm fine." Lily turned quickly and walked to the table. "Well, I guess I'll tell you about the time we bought the house… Is that alright?"
Jocelyn nodded.
"Alright, I'll tell you then," Lily said, forcing a smile. "First though, let me go to the loo…"
Jocelyn laughed as she ran to the bathroom.
*~*
(-In the streets of Dublin…-)
"Bloody hell, Sirius!" James exclaimed. "Lily's up there!"
Sirius looked at him as if he'd just sprouted another pair of eyes. "Mate, I promise you, you're hallucinating. Lily's not up there."
"I just saw her! She was looking at me, mate!" James insisted, grabbing his friend's sleeve. "That was her! I'm not seeing things, I swear it!"
"I think you've had too much to drink, James," Remus said, joining them from the bookshop he'd just come from. "Lily's not here."
"Yes, she is!" James argued. He sighed. "But it doesn't matter." Suddenly, he felt extremely depressed. "Come on, we have to get to that office building quickly."
As they walked to where their appointment was being held, James's mind was reeling. Lily had only contacted him once since the last time he'd seen her a year ago. A note had arrived about two or so months after that fateful, rainy day. A few words were scribbled on it…
Miscarriage. It was a boy. -Lily
It had come by owl, and he had no way of knowing where she was. The fact that his son had died, the only son he'd ever have with Lily, had nearly killed him. But yet, there he was, walking the streets of Dublin on a strangely sunny day.
He hated the sun. It made the world look happy. And he wasn't happy, not truly.
Then last week, Lynn had accidentally let slip they'd talked to Lily. But he couldn't get anything out of them. But they'd promised him they didn't even really know where she was.
As they turned to go into a peach colored building, James promised to go back and see if that had been Lily. He wouldn't say anything to her, but he wanted to know if it was her… and if she had a boyfriend.
*~*
(-Back at the flat…-)
"Ok," Lily said, sitting at the table once more. She tried to push the thought of James out of her mind. It hadn't been him. It couldn't have been. "It was about two weeks after we'd graduated from Hogwarts, and we'd all been living with our parents, or, in my case, Lynn's parents' house…"
*~*
(-Memories…)
"James!" Lily called as she stepped into the Potter residence. "James! Come here! Look what I found!"
"Hi, Lily," Angie said from the couch in the sitting room. "James is in his room, Mum and Dad aren't here. Go on up."
"Thanks, Angie," Lily said, stopping by the couch to give Angie a kiss on the forehead. "What are you reading?"
Angie blushed. "One of Mum's silly little romance books. Don't tell her, because she thinks I'm too young for them."
Lily eyed the picture of a man and woman lying in a bed half-naked on the back. "I agree," she muttered. "But don't worry. She won't hear it from me."
"Thanks, Lily," Angie grinned. "You're the best."
"I'll bet," Lily laughed. "Oh, here, I brought you one of those peppermint things you like." She tossed a stick of candy to Angie and headed up the stairs to James's room.
She pushed open the door to his room, or his lair as she liked to call it. Immediately, she was caught up in strong arms and pulled against a cage of pure muscle and bone.
Sexy.
Lily giggled into their kiss, where James had trapped her while closing the door. "James, your sister's downstairs!"
"So? We'll be quiet about it," James answered, kissing her hungrily. "We haven't had time alone in months."
"James, when are we ever quiet?"
"Ah, point taken. Well, we'll put the music up."
"It's wrong!"
"But it feels so right," he purred into her ear, and for a moment, she almost agreed.
"You horny little bastard."
James through his head back and laughed. "Alright, never mind that then. What'd you have to show me?" He let Lily go so that she could pull something out of her jeans' pocket.
"Look at that," she beamed, handing him a color picture of a two story townhouse in one of the London suburbs. "It's huge. Five bedrooms, three and a half bathrooms… It's got a decent sized backyard, and it's not too shabby looking. A coat of paint, a little refurbishing-"
"I'll buy it," James said softly, pulling her into a tender kiss.
"W-What?" Lily stuttered. "I thought we could all chip in… Remus, Julie, Lynn, Sirius… Us, of course."
But James shook his head. "No, I'll buy it. And then, when we decide to fill up the house with little Potters…"
Lily blushed. "James!"
"But it's true," James insisted softly. "As soon as I've managed to convince you to be my wife and we get little Potters on the way, we'll kick out those sacks of bones we call friends." He nuzzled her neck. "Why not? Do you like it, Lils?"
"Yes," she admitted.
"Then I'll buy it for you."
"But you don't even know how much it costs!"
He shrugged. "As long as you're happy…"
"Because as long as I'm happy, you're happy, right?" Lily laughed. He nodded.
"More chances of getting some."
She swatted at his arm, but let him dive in for another sweet kiss. About two minutes later, a knock came at the door.
"Damn it, Angie! Go away," James growled. "We're busy."
"James, it's me," Miriam said from the other side. Immediately, James through open the door for his mother and smiled innocently.
"Mum! Hello, there! We were just discussing the new house I bought," James said unblushingly. "I haven't seen it, but I hear it's got five bedrooms and three and a half baths."
"A house?" Miriam asked. She turned to Lily. "Is he serious, or is that his pathetic cover up for the fact that you two were doing something up here?"
Lily laughed. "No, he's serious. Unfortunately." She gave James a skeptical glance. "Seems he's going to buy me a house…"
"Us," James corrected. Lily blushed. Miriam beamed.
"Ah, well then. I'll just go then, and you two can, um, clear it all up," Miriam said, heading back out the door. "I just wanted to say hello, Lily. Will you be staying for dinner?"
"Yes."
"Wonderful. I'll let Cook know."
"And tell Cook that we'll be late," James yelled after her. "We're going to see my new house!"
(-Later…-)
"You what?" Lynn asked, breaking her lips away from Sirius. "You what?" she repeated, her voice two notches higher.
"We bought a house," James said, digging into his steak. All six of them had met up at their favorite restaurant in Plymouth.
"Well, James bought a house," Lily added, stealing one of his fries. "I just showed it to him."
"No, we did," he argued, frowning at the fry she had taken. "I was gonna eat that."
She rolled her eyes. "He'll buy me a house, but I can't touch his food," she muttered under her breath.
"Are you serious?" Julie gawked.
"You bought a house?" Remus said, still not quite grasping it. "To live in?"
"No, to burn," James told him sarcastically. "Of course to live in. And we're inviting you lot to move in with us. We need some people to chip in with groceries, you see."
Lynn turned to Lily. "You mean… We could move out of my parents' house? For good? Ever? I'm there!"
Sirius eyed Lynn out of the corner of his eye, trying to appear inconspicuous and not quite succeeded. "How are the rooms going to be split up?"
"Well…" Lily looked down at her fingers. "Each of you would have your own rooms, and me and James would share."
A chorus of "Whoo" went throughout the table.
"Oh, shove it," James laughed.
"So we each have our own rooms, huh?" Sirius mused. "As long as I get the one next to Lynn, and we share a bathroom, I'm there too."
Julie sighed. "Mum's throwing me out anyway. Something about me growing up and her being tired of odd little noises from my bedroom…" She giggled and looked at Remus. "How about it, babe? You in?"
Remus smiled slowly. "Alright. Where do we sign?"
*~*
(-Present…-)
Lily wiped off the top of the counter, smiling softly to herself. He'd bought that house for her, swearing they'd fill it up one day with kids of their own. She sighed sadly and began to put away the leftovers from dinner.
"Need help, Lily?" Jocelyn asked, coming in from the front hall. "I'm up to drying today."
"No, that's ok, Jo," Lily replied. "You can do whatever you'd like. I think I'm going to go out in a few."
"Alright. Don't stay out too late," Jocelyn teased, winking.
Just as Lily was about to grab a sweater and head out, the phone rang. She leaned over the couch and called out, "I'll get it!" When she had the receiver, she said, "Hello?"
A man's voice on the other end answered. "Hi, Lily. It's me."
"Oh!" Lily tried to contain her shock. "Hello."
"I know this is kind of random, but I was wondering if you wanted to go grab a drink or something at the Jack Ass."
"Oh…" She twirled the cord around her finger and bit her bottom lip. "I don't know, Josh. I just got out of this relationship, and even though I'm over it, I just don't think I'm ready."
Josh nodded on his end of the line. "Oh, yeah, I understand. Well then, how about just as friends? I'll listen to you pour out your life's story, and we can wallow in self-pity."
Lily laughed. "Well, that's ok then. But I'll skip the self-pity portion."
"Sounds good to me. When can you be ready?"
"Well, five minutes if you like. I was planning to do something anyway."
"Alright then. Meet you at the Jack Ass in thirty minutes?"
"Ok, Josh. Bye." She replaced the phone and got up from the couch, only to be met by a smiling Jocelyn.
"A date, Lily?" Jocelyn taunted.
"No. Friends only," Lily insisted. "Now, if you'll excuse me…"
Twenty-three minutes later, Lily met up with Josh at the Jack Ass, and they sat down at the bar together. "Two Bloody Mary's, bartender," Josh ordered. "Long time no see, Lily," he grinned.
"Yeah, it's been like what? Five hours?" she laughed. "Oh, I don't want to think about that Marshall account for the next twenty years."
Josh laughed. "Well, I hope you'll settle for tomorrow. That thing's a shit, innit? I'd like to take Marshall and wring his neck. But it's business, right?"
"Yeah," Lily nodded. "Today's my one year anniversary of being in Ireland."
"That's a reason to celebrate!" the gorgeous blonde Irishman said, his blue-green eyes sparkling. "Another round of drinks on me."
She laughed. "You're planning on getting me drunk now, Mr. O'Malley?"
"Naturally."
She took a sip of her drink, and promptly proceeded to choke on it. As Josh lightly hit her between the shoulders, she stared at the trio that had just entered the pub.
"Bloody hell," she muttered, downing the rest of her drink in one gulp.
"Whoa! What's the matter, lassie?" Josh asked. "You look like you've just seen a ghost."
"Worse," she said dryly, masking the emotion that had risen in her chest. She sent him a miserable look. "My ex-fiancé just walked through the door. Another drink, bartender! Make it strong. Please."
Josh let out a low whistle. "Oh, yeah. Drink up, lassie. Which one is he?"
"The one by the door with two equally gorgeous men beside him. James is the one with the glasses and black hair," she sighed. "Bloody hell, did he follow me?"
"Well, don't worry. I won't let him hurt you."
Despite her situation, she laughed. "James wouldn't try to hurt me," she said softly, sighing once more. "No, he'd probably kiss me, tell me he loves me, and I'd have to turn him down again."
"So much for wallowing in self-pity," Josh chuckled. "Ah, let's get stinking drunk."
"Amen."
"Oh, here they come."
Lily winced and turned around to greet Sirius and Remus, who seemed to have forced James to go with them. "Hey! What are you three doing in Dublin?" She planted a kiss on each of their cheeks, even James.
"Business," Sirius replied. "What about you?"
"I live here," Lily admitted reluctantly. She could expect Lynn and Julie there the next day. "My cousin lives on the other side of town, so I got a flat here." Then she remembered Josh was behind her. "Oh, this is Josh. Josh, this is Sirius, Remus, and James." She pointed out each one. They each shook his hand, though James looked ready to flay him alive.
"You're very lucky, Josh," James said-more like forced himself to say. "Lily's very special."
"Oh, we're not dating," Lily said a little too quickly. "We're just out for drinks."
An uncomfortable silence fell. James broke it by saying, "Lily, could I talk to you privately? Outside?"
She should've expected it. Lily was torn between saying yes and saying no. If she said yes, she'd be reminded of how good it felt to be around James. If she said, no, she might miss her one chance.
"Sure."
Together they walked out of the pub (after saying good bye) and headed down the crowded streets of the Irish nightlife.
"So, how are you feeling?" James asked softly.
"Great. I recently got promoted to-"
"I meant the miscarriage, Lily."
She sighed and fought to maintain her composure. "I'm ok. Thanks for asking."
"Lily, I wish you would have told me where you were. I was worried."
"I know," she whispered. After a pause, she added, "I named him James. I hope you don't mind."
"Lily." He stopped her and pulled her to the side so that they weren't trampled by the hoard of people in the street. He pulled her into his arms and leaned against her forehead. She didn't fight. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you about the threats."
"How'd you know that I knew?" she asked softly.
"Mum."
"Miriam knows everything."
"Miriam found that letter you wrote to me telling me that you knew," James sighed. "Before…"
"Before you broke it off," Lily finished. "You didn't trust me, James."
"I was trying to protect you," he said hoarsely. "I didn't know what to do. I did what I thought was best."
"You didn't tell me, you didn't talk to me about it. How was I supposed to take that?" She buried her head in his shoulder. "You really hurt me."
"Is that why you didn't get back with me?"
"Yes."
"You had a point then."
"Thank you."
"Lily, who told you?"
"I got a letter. From someone named Voldemort. All it said was that you'd been told that if we didn't separate for good, I'd be killed."
"Voldemort talked to you?" His fists clenched. "I'll wring his neck." He tipped her face up. "What else?"
"Nothing else," she scowled. "James, it's been a year. I've finally gotten on with my life. Why are you doing this to me?"
"I am not doing anything," he bit out, slamming his lips against her own.
And she let him. She opened her mouth and welcomed him in. How couldn't she? She was still female, and James was definitely very male. How could she have fought him? Even if she'd wanted to, which she didn't. It felt so good, just as she'd known it would. Lily had always thought of herself as a very strong person, but she did have one weakness.
He was kissing her.
It couldn't be explained, all the things that were going through her head. She knew that she should pull away-he hadn't trusted her. What was worse, he was so sincere about his apology. Why couldn't he been some arse? If he had any undesirable quality (or a big one, anyway. Undesirable qualities he had. After all, while James Potter was often compared to a god, he definitely was not perfect), she could've turned him down without a second thought.
He pulled away and reached into his pocket.
"I carry this bloody thing around with me everywhere, Lils, just in case I ever found you and had a chance to ask you to marry me," he said.
"Oh, James… Don't," she sighed, squeezing her eyes shut against the tears. "James, I won't be able to say no."
"And thank God for that. But I'm not asking yet. I just… Please," he sighed, kissing her again. "I need you back." He wrapped his arms around her. "I'll wait for you to tell me you're ready. Just…"
She stared down at the ring she'd returned to him more than a year ago. She remembered when she received it.
*~*
(-Memories…-)
James led Lily in through a side door. "Almost there," he told her.
"James, where are you taking me?" Lily giggled. "The last time you blindfolded me, we ended up naked in your Mum's rose garden in the middle of January."
"Don't remind me," he smiled. "Remember, I'm not in a position to throw you down on the floor and do all the things I did to you then just now, so don't provoke me."
She giggled. "Are we there yet?"
"Not quite, Lils." He opened a door on the left side of the hall they'd been walking down. He peeked inside. "Yep, this is the right room. Come in." He gently tugged on her arm so that she followed, and centered her in the middle of the aisle. "On three remove the blindfold. One, two, three."
Lily pushed off the black fabric just as lights were flicked on. She gasped.
They were standing in a room full of… well, engagement rings.
"Oh, James."
He kissed her nose and got down on one knee. "Lily…"
"Oh, James."
"Will you do me the honor of being my wife so that we can finally kick out those morons and fill up that house with our children? As many as you'd like. Two, fourteen, fifty… I don't care!" He looked up at her hopefully. "I know we were going to wait awhile, but-"
"Yes!" she squealed, dropping down next to him. "Yes." She kissed him.
"Well, what are you waiting for?" James asked after they'd pulled apart. "Go find your ring."
"I can have any one of these?" Lily asked incredulously.
"Two, if you'd like."
"James!" She hugged him so hard he nearly lost his balance.
"Whoa!" he laughed. "Being rich has its benefits."
"No," she disagreed. "That's not why I said yes."
"Of course! I was only-"
"Joking, yes, I know. That's all you ever do," she smiled. "You're such a good man and you treat me so well. How did I ever manage to bag you?"
"Probably have me under a love potion or something equally horrific."
She poked his shoulder. "I did not!"
He shrugged, hoisting her up off the floor. "If you are, don't stop."
*~*
A/B: I think I'm just going to change the post date to Thursday. Every time I get home from the hospital I'm just too exhausted. I went to sleep at NINE last night. (For those of you who know me, you can understand how absurd that is!)
So yes. Um… Originally, in this chapter, they'd gotten engaged-again.
Changed it! I thought it was stupid. So… yeah. For old timers, you might remember that there was an "Alano" in this story? Yeah. Forget him. It was a gay figment of my imagination.
All mi amor,
Natali K. A.
-->