Disclaimer: I don't own anything, and I'm making no money! Yippee!
Author's Note: Before everyone starts thinking I've completely lost my mind, just let me tell you I haven't. There is a plot to this, even though it might seem like there isn't. The whole premise is kinda ridiculous, but don't think I thought up this craziness myself…I've seen this done before, not only in other fandoms but this fandom as well. In fact, I think Portkey might have something similar to this…I don't remember seeing them though. If there is, please link me! I love reading them. This one is derived from another one of my fandoms and I just Harmonized it. So there you go! It isn't beta'd as I figured…why should it be? And if you want to know what I'm rambling on about, I'll shut up and just let you read it.
Don't say I didn't warn you….
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Harry's Quiz
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1. What time did you get up this morning?
Err…I don't really know. Usually I like to sleep in until around eleven, but Hermione usually stirs at the crack of dawn and won't stop harassing me until I wake up as well. If it isn't her, it's the bloody cat, so I never get enough sleep. Crazy hag wants sprogs…as if I don't have enough people waking me up in the morning!
2. Diamonds or Pearls?
Hermione, is this your not-so-subtle way of asking me for something? Again?
3. What was the last film you saw at the cinema?
Blast it! I don't quite remember…I think I fell asleep. And then I had Hermione nagging me about it
afterwards…goodness woman! If you want me to stay awake when we go to the cinema, then don't bloody wake me up so
early! And don't pick such horrid films…all I remember before falling asleep is regretting the fact that I
hadn't gone to the eye doctor to get a better prescription as I couldn't understand the slurred Russian
dialect, and I couldn't bloody read the damn translation…not to mention that they all looked like black and white
blobs of goo…
4. What is your favorite T. V. show?
I'll watch anything, really, I'm not that picky. I guess it comes from a lifetime of being deprived this most basic of necessities…the other day Hermione and I were watching an interesting special about the mating habits of female spiders. Apparently, this one type actually kills the male if it doesn't like the way the male is courting her. Hermione gave me a meaningful look that I couldn't really quite catch the meaning behind because I was too busy thinking about what Ron's expression would be like if he were watching this.
7. Favorite cuisine?
Cuisine? I'm a simple bloke; I do not need cuisine. The closest I come to cuisine is Dobby's treacle tart.
Though simple bloke I might be, I don't ever go near Hagrid's cooking. Nor Hermione's.
8. What foods do you dislike?
Must I say it again? She'll have my head when she reads this…
9. What is your favorite crisps flavor?
Fred and George have developed the most amazing variations! I don't know exactly what the flavours are though…they're quite secretive about them. However, lately I've been wary of them. The other day I heard the oddest noises coming from the little room in the back of their shop where these alleged "crisps" are made.
You know, I don't think I'll eat them anymore.
10. What is your favorite CD at the moment?
Oooooh! You know that one band that sings that one song that just took out a new album? That one. I love it. I love the guitars. The guitars sooth me after a crazy day of fighting the baddies. Hermione always complains about "that noise" I listen to, but must I start mentioning the music she listens to?
Care for some Wham…darling?
11. What kind of car do you drive?
I don't drive. I tried once and nearly went mad. Rather, Hermione nearly drove me mad. She kept yelling that I was going too fast, that driving was NOT like flying, that I actually had to use some common sense…I got so exasperated I stopped the car and decided to yell back at her. And then we ended up having a great shag, right there, in the car, in some field somewhere. Best shag ever. Harry's a naughty naughty boy…
12. Favorite sandwich?
Every kind…as long as it is not made by Hagrid, Hermione, or Aunt Petunia. And although Mrs. Weasley is a wonderful cook, her sandwiches always have something lacking…so I guess I'll add her to the list as well.
13. What characteristic do you despise?
Is the name "Malfoy" a characteristic? If it is, then I despise it. And what else…greasy hair. Hate greasy hair. It's so disgusting. I also hate blokes who try to take over the world. They get bloody irritating after a while. Seen one, seen them all…you know?
14. Favorite item of clothing?
Last Christmas, I got Hermione this silky…oh, do you mean my clothing? Damn! I have no idea. I guess this one pair of jeans I own…Hermione goes on and on about my bum when I wear them. And then I can't get her off of me…they're quite brilliant, really. I think I caught Ron looking me over in them as well. That was a bit frightful.
15. If you could go anywhere in the world on vacation, where would you
go?
Somewhere where I can be naked with Hermione all day. Brazil maybe. Don't people walk around there naked with fruity drinks? Seems like heaven.
16. What color is your bathroom?
Why do you keep asking me questions I have no bloody clue about? Ask Hermione. She's the one that spruced up Grimmauld Place. I had no say in anything whatsoever. I tried once…that went awful…
But then I shagged her and made it better. I'm told I have a talent.
17. Favorite brand of clothing?
Whatever those jeans are. Again, I've no clue.
18. Where would you retire to?
Somewhere where I can be naked with Hermione all day…
19. What was your most memorable birthday?
You know, I could say it was when I turned eleven and Hagrid came to rescue me from my hellhole of pain and torture, but you know, he brought me to another hellhole of pain and torture so I don't really think I'll say that…
I think my favorite birthday shall always be my 21st. But I won't tell you why. So just shut your pumpkin pie hole and never mention this to anyone ever again. Ever. I'll come after you if you do. If you mention me mentioning my 21st birthday to anyone I swear I will do something awful…I did defeat the most undefeatable person ever, after all. Think you stand a chance against me?
Thought so.
20. Favorite sport to watch?
QUIDDITCH! QUIDDITCH QUIDDITCH QUIDDITCH! GRYFFINDOR FOREVER! PUDDLEMERE FOREVER! DOWN WITH THE CANNONS!
(Please don't kill me Ron!)
21. Furthest Place you are sending this?
I haven't a sodding clue. Do you think I even know how to use this thing? It's Hermione's. All I did was
enter her study to see if I could find my owl…goodness knows she's MY owl, and I do reserve the right to use her
from time to time, Hermione. But anyways, I saw this monstrous machine on and felt intrigued…the flashy icon thing
telling me to click it and check my mail intrigued me. Is that how this internet thing reels you in? With flashy
clickiness? Because if that is the strategy, I bloody fell for it like a fool, didn't I?
I didn't even know I had an email address. That'll be Hermione's doing. Blasted girl doesn't think I can do anything myself…
(She's right, of course. But I'm a man. I'll never accept it! I'll deny it with my last breath!)
22. Who do you least expect to send this back to you?
I don't even know who I'm sending it to…I think I'll just send it to Hermione, and everyone on her list as we basically share the same friends. I hope Prof. McGonagall isn't on it. Wouldn't our next meeting be awkward?
24. Goal you have for yourself?
STOP BADGERING ME! Haven't I done enough for the world already?
25. When is your birthday?
What did I say about my birthday? I never turned twenty-one, allright?
26. When is your Anniversary?
I'm not married…yet. It's not like I'm holding out on her because I don't want to marry her…I just find it highly amusing to see her knickers all bunched up about it. I'm evil. I know.
27. Are you a morning person or a night person?
Did we not establish this already? Why is this questionnaire thing so bloody repetitive?
28. What is your shoe size?
*snicker* Wouldn't you like to know.
29. Pets?
She's MY owl, Hermione. MINE. I don't bloody care that she's a good a flier and brings things quickly…she's MINE. So stop hiding the treats underneath your desk to keep her at your beck and call!
30. Any new and exciting news you'd like to share with us?
I went to a jewelry store the other day. There's a small box covered in red velvet in my secret drawer…(which
I'm sure Hermione knows all about. Don't you, darling?)
Anyways…my exciting news is right there, in that drawer. Any day now I'll pluck up that Gryffindor courage. Any day now…
31. What did you want to be when you were little?
Fed.
32. How are you today?
Quite well, thank you. And you? Don't you find it's a bit nippy out?
33. What is your favorite flower?
The kind I leave by bedside tables when my best friend is petrified.
34. What is a date on the calendar are you looking forward to?
The date we set when she says yes…if she says yes. You're going to say yes, right?
35. Where is the furthest you have ever been from home?
Ron and I got really sloshed this one night, and I'm pretty sure he apparated us to Yugoslavia. The funny thing is, Yugoslavia wasn't a country anymore…
38. A small thing you really enjoy?
Shagging Hermione. In fact, I think I'll go find her right now…
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A/N:
I told you it was stupid! But I was bored, and why not? I might just do the others if I feel like it…