Chapter 2-Hogwart's Heartbreak
Harry awoke refreshed much later than he though he would. He looked over and Ron was asleep snoring again like always. Harry got up and looked at the clock. It was nearly 10 AM, yet no one had interrupted their sleep. Harry found this to be odd, but he was thankful just the same. He opened the door quietly and looked down the hall toward the loo. The floor was colder now than it had been in the middle of the night, but he grabbed his robe from the door, slipped it on and made for the shower.
When he walked into the kitchen he was surprised to see Hermione scurrying about with Mrs. Weasley. They seemed to be working on something rather important since it was unusual for someone to come into the kitchen without being either shooed away or greeted with some delicious snack or treat. Finally, he was recognized. "Be a dear, Harry. Grab that sauce pan for me and give it to Hermione." Hermione was wearing an apron and seemed to be concentrating on something in what appeared to be a cookbook on the counter. Harry brought the sauce pan to her as she looked up and put her finger to her lips. "Hi, Harry. Shh, don't spoil the surprise. Mrs. Weasley is helping me make Ron's favorite custard pie. I'm so confused. There are more ingredients in this than in polyjuice potion and takes only sixty minutes. I had six months to get the polyjuice potion right." Hermione looked frazzled.
Mrs. Weasley crossed over to Harry and whispered in his ear. "It's so adorable. Hermione caught me in the corridor outside my bedroom. She looked so excited. She asked me if we could cook something together. It seemed so odd, but she's like a tiger once she gets something in her head."
"I think Ron finally gave her some hope, Mrs. Weasley." Harry said without thinking.
"Hope, Harry?" Mrs. Weasley gleamed at the prospects.
"I think Ron finally made a connection with her that will help them get closer," said Harry quietly.
"I hope so, Harry. They deserve to be happy like you and Ginny," mused Mrs. Weasley.
An hour or so later the custard pie was safely tucked away and the house became flurry of activity from all angles. Since it was a Saturday morning, Mr. Weasley came home from a brief visit to the office in the Ministry as did Bill come back from the bank. Fleur and Bill shared a separate little house near the Burrow, but spent most of their time with the family. Harry sat eagerly anticipating seeing Ginny. He'd fought back the urge to go wake her up, knowing that they had been up till nearly dawn talking and snogging in the spare room that was reserved for Charlie's visits. They hid there often. They always wondered why no one ever intruded on them.
When Ginny came down the stares talking animatedly with Ron, Harry had an odd feeling. They didn't seem to be arguing, but it wasn't a loving exchange of secrets either.
"What's up with Ron, Ginny?" Harry asked.
"Harry, we're going to have to go someplace besides Charlie's room to have privacy. Somehow, Ron and Hermione saw us lying on the bed. Ron told me he'd kill both of us if I got pregnant. I told him we weren't like that but he'd hear none of it. I'd be cautious with him this morning if I were you," warned Ginny.
Harry was disappointed. The last thing he wanted was Ron thinking that his sister and he were sneaking off for illicit sex in the family home. Ginny and he had agreed that when they decided it was time, they would sneak off together at Hogwarts, but not here. Secondly, he felt sad that Ron might have seen them partially naked together. He could imagine the anger that would erupt at seeing someone pawing at your sisters half-naked body. They may not be having sex, but touching each other was such a wonderfully relaxing thing they often engaged in erotic massage. Harry almost laughed at what would have happened if Ron had seen the magazine describing how to be sensual without sex.
Harry and Ron's eyes met for the first time that morning and had he not had that conversation with Ginny he wouldn't have noticed the slight change in Ron's demeanor. His worry about Ron's attitude faded into the background as he listened to Mr. Weasley and Bill.
"So, Dad, is there anything more on that spot of trouble over on the west side of London?" Bill asked.
"No, the muggles in the area have been had their memories erased and the cars were repaired and the graffiti removed," said Arthur Weasley. "Nasty bit of fun those boys had. I wish that the defeat of Lord Voldemort would have been the end to the silliness but there are still those who wish to perpetuate the hate."
"Do they think it was renegade Death Eaters? Or, just some pranksters who got tired of being able to do that sort of thing and forbidden to do so?" asked Bill.
"Thankfully, no one was hurt and the graffiti was pretty silly really. One bit said, Down with the Ministry! Liberate our community! We've dealt with that sort of rebellion for years, but the business of protecting against Voldemort was always a higher priority. We need to start to address all of the problems facing the Ministry and thanks to Harry we can focus on them now," Arthur beamed at Harry. "Hail to the conquering hero!" Mr. Weasley's face broke into a sarcastic smile, knowing full well how much Harry hated the hero business.
"Gee, thanks, Mr. W. You really know how to cheer a guy up," said Harry comprehending the polite teasing he was taking.
"Oh a hero of your stature can call me, Arthur," Mr. Weasley added.
"Oh, stop it Arthur. Harry's going to have to deal with enough of that kind of silliness when he gets back to school," said Mrs. Weasley in Harry's defense.
Harry looked over at Hermione and saw her dying in anticipation of showing Ron what she'd done. But the little conversations and lunch would have to come first and Harry could see her plight. He walked over and put his hand on her shoulder. "It's okay, Hermione, he'll love it," he whispered as he smelled the faint air of flowers in her hair as he got close to her ear.
"Harry, I'm sorry about last night," Hermione said quietly.
"Sorry? About what?" Harry asked.
"Ron and I, well we were looking for a place that was more private and I remembered Charlie's old room, and well…you and Ginny were already there," she said in an embarrassed tone.
"Were you and Ron going to?" Harry stopped for a second to think of what he was saying. It was none of his business. "I mean…," Harry had talked himself into a corner.
"I don't know what would have happened Harry, but once he saw you and Ginny. I mean, it is one thing to see two people snogging, but clutching each other close like that in a bed well…that's a whole different story. I had to physically restrain him into the hall and shut the door. I'm surprised you didn't hear us," said Hermione. "We argued a bit and I told him think of what would happen if Harry walked in on us? He just kept saying it was his sister."
"Sometimes we fall asleep together like that Hermione. I don't think we ever are out of control," said Harry trying to look as innocent as possible and feeling as if he were about to be sent to Azkaban. After all, in the wizard world, Ginny was still a minor and he was an adult. "So, how'd you get him away?"
"I told him I'd never speak to him again if he embarrassed you two. I told him to talk to Ginny and you today about it. I hope it's not a bad experience for you, Harry," confided Hermione. "You guys did look happy together."
"Well, I'm just glad we didn't get into a row in the middle of the night and wake up her parents," said Harry with a sigh and a restrained laugh. "That could have been even uglier, yet."
"Absolutely," said Hermione.
Out of the blue, Harry heard a name that made his blood boil. "Have they ever found Draco Malfoy?" asked Bill.
Draco had led Harry to the final Horcrux without realizing his braggart ways had been his biggest weakness and it had cost Severus Snape his life fulfilling his promise to protect Draco. Harry couldn't understand him. One minute it seemed the whole world had turned upside down when Harry realized that Snape had been acting under orders from Dumbledore all along. He was sure that Draco's admiration for Snape would lead him to the Order, but he remained staunchly locked into his hatred. Harry wondered if Draco had not been subjected to his father's will for so many years would he have turned with Snape.
"No, he's gone into hiding. I fear that we may have another, albeit less powerful, Dark Wizard coming of age," opined Mr. Weasley. "His father is dead and his mother had apparently lost her mind. She is helping him to avenge the Dark Lord and his father, it seems. No problem though, we have Harry Potter on our side. At this stage, Draco is a laughable opponent."
Harry didn't know what made him so infuriated at that moment but he knew that he had to set the record straight. "First, Malfoy was able to get Death Eaters into Hogwarts less than a year ago and you have the nerve to say he's laughable, Mr. Weasley. And, second, I'm done with Dark Lords and Horcruxes and such. What if Voldemort taught Malfoy the secret of splitting his soul and Draco's inclined to use that knowledge as some point? He may not be strong enough now, but I don't want my children threatened by the hand of another Dark Wizard?" Harry wasn't disrespectful, but his voice was penetrating and forceful. "Who do you think he'd come after first? You think it would be the Minister of Magic or would it be me or Ginny as revenge?"
The tone in the room became dark and quiet. Harry felt sick to his stomach. The joy that he could look forward to at Hogwarts had been changed to fear in a few brief moments. He thought of the great number of teenage followers who could be recruited from his former cronies. While he could never promise the power that Voldemort might have promised, young twisted minds could make life a living hell for their enemies.
"Harry, come now. You don't believe in that rubbish, do you?" asked Ron in an unsure voice.
"I don't think that he has that kind of power nor do I think he possesses that kind of charisma to lead yet. I saw him on the tower with Dumbledore. He may be personally weak, but his is rich and should he surround himself with brutal followers he could be very, very dangerous," said Harry.
"Sounds to me like you should join the Department for Magical Enforcement as an Auror, Harry," said Mr. Weasley. "You seem to have the aptitude."
"I don't want to play games of life and death anymore. I wish people would quit thinking that killing and disarming Dark Wizards is a glamorous job. Mad-Eye Moody is glamorous, isn't he?" Harry said emphatically. He knew that he may have to hunt down Draco and find out his intentions, but he would not do it as a member of the Ministry. He knew his life and Ginny's depended on it.
Mrs. Weasley's timing could not have been more appropriate. "Lunch is ready. And for everyone's information, we have a surprise dessert." Harry could see Hermione looking about to see if anyone knew or looked her way. It appeared to Harry that everyone was clueless. And, judging from past experience, no one would ever guess at Hermione being the cook of anything outside of the magical community. Harry looked at Hermione with a new sense of admiration he'd never had before. She truly put Ron's happiness before her own.
Once dinner finished, Mrs. Weasley stood up to make an announcement. Ron looked a little sheepish and Hermione began to squirm as it appeared that the secret had been let out. "Ron has an announcement."
Harry looked at Hermione. She looked back startled.
"I have been recruited to be a member of with the Chuddley Cannons at the end of this school year with the promise of a starting position as goalkeeper if Gryffindor wins the Quidditch Cup," beamed Ron. "I've made it Harry. I think I can do it. With you and Ginny on the team, we have the two best flyers in all of Hogwarts. We can win the cup hands down."
Harry smiled from ear to ear and joined in the cheer for Ron. He looked at Ginny and smiled while out of the corner of his eye he saw Hermione cheering but not jumping for joy or running to hug him as one might expect a girlfriend to do. She seemed to be in a state of shock.
Mrs. Weasley stood again and turned toward Hermione. In celebration of this wonderful news, Hermione has a surprise.
Somewhat stunned still, but very happy, Hermione looked at Ron. "Well, I'm surprised to find out about your success like this and had I known I would have done more, but…she paused… and with a tear she looked at Ron. I made something for you before I knew. I made it because I wanted you to know how much you mean to me and how special our friendship has always been." With a very smooth movement Hermione brought her wand out and silently summoned the custard pie from its hiding place. I cooked for you Ron." She looked at Ron for his reaction.
Harry stopped worrying for a moment about Malfoy as he watched Ron display more public emotion than he'd ever seen. "Thank you, Hermione. It's my favorite too." Just when everyone thought Ron was finished speaking he spoke up again. "Hermione, I accepted the position on the Cannons so you could be proud of me and I could give you and my family more than we've ever had. But this is just the greatest," said Ron looking at the custard pie. A simple custard pie had more to Ron than he would have believed just one night before. "Oh, and Harry, you aren't off the hook. You know what I mean, don't you, Harry?"
Harry knew very well what Ron meant, but he was also sure that the events of the day had softened Ron a little and he might be more reasonable. Harry walked over and put his arm around Ginny as dessert was served and everyone left the table.
"Harry, you don't really think there is any danger, do you?" asked Ginny.
"No," Harry lied. "It's probably my overactive imagination. We'll just see how things play out."
Harry sat in the common room looking around at all the kids studying either for end of term exams, OWLs or NEWTs. He, Ron and Hermione were given an exemption and could come back and do what was necessary to take their NEWTs at their leisure over then summer and first semester of next year. The Department of Magical Education had seen fit to allow this because of Ron's, Hermione's, and Harry's accomplishments.
He was distracted tonight as he looked at Ginny doing a group project with the sixth year students. She was beautiful, but it had been as they'd feared. Harry had to constantly be aware of unseemly advances by girls from every house at Hogwarts. But what was more intriguing was how he could feel the competition with other boys his age for Ginny's attention. Harry knew that if he were present with Ginny he had her attention and no one else could take that away, but watching her now from a distance unannounced, she was the most popular girl in any room and loved it.
He felt guilty as he spied Parvati Patil across the room. Her long raven black hair and beautifully statuesque figure made him sigh without realizing that he was fantasizing about her. He shook his head wondering how all of a sudden a girl for whom he had no romantic feelings could stir feelings of lust and desire with his girlfriend in the same room. He didn't know why he went to the library, the common room and the Great Hall by himself when he was apart from Ginny. But it always ended the same way. He went back to his dorm after saying good night to Ginny and fell into a deep dreamy sleep that included erotic thoughts that left him spent when he awoke. He felt sad, because in his heart he truly loved Ginny, but something told him it wouldn't last.
He walked over to Ginny at her table as the group broke, surprising her. "You are beautiful, you know." Ginny turned in shock from the young man she was talking to at the table. "You command everyone's attention. Even the girls seem to look at you with envy."
"Hi Harry, aren't you stealthy tonight?" she said as they kissed each other on the cheek. "What do you mean?"
"I mean, I sat over there at the table for over an hour and watched you. I mean some of the guys didn't take their eyes off of you and others ended up with bruised ribs, because the girl next them wanted attention. I'm sure you wouldn't notice that though," said Harry cordially.
"Do I sense a little jealousy, Harry? That's not like you," replied Ginny. "I'm not stupid, you know. Sure I realize some of it, but what do I do. I have to graduate like anyone else."
Harry knew she was right. During all the time he watched her she had not acknowledged the flirtations of those around her and she had been all business, but she was a beautiful rose tonight among a bunch of thorn bushes. It suddenly dawned on Harry that the Hogwarts honeymoon was over. The girls had gotten the message to stay away from him, but he'd not put that same fear in the boys. They were as aggressive as ever.
"I know, Ginny, I'm not saying you're asking to be flirted with. I said, you are very beautiful and boys don't exactly look for smart girls or interesting girls at our age. I know you as all three," he added quickly before Ginny read him the riot act about not being just another pretty girl in school.
Harry had a sudden desire to walk with Ginny and talk, so he invited her to walk with him. He took out the Marauder's Map and looked to see if there were any traps to avoid. He knew neither he nor she was in any danger of expulsion anymore, but he felt a duty to set a good example for the younger students and tried not to let his obvious larger-than-life stature get in the way by thumbing his nose at the rules in public. They walked quietly and held each other's arm as they walked. He felt so happy with Ginny, yet he felt the growing desire to try something new. He wondered how she felt.
"Ginny, what's going on between us?" he asked seriously. He could feel her arm tense in his.
"You mean, why we don't feel the passion we did last year at this time?" she responded.
Harry was relieved that she felt the same uneasiness but put it into better words. "Yes, I think that's exactly what I mean."
He could feel the tension grow as Ginny's body slackened and slowed. "Harry, I've loved you since I first heard of Harry Potter. Then I met you and fell in love again and again. We are wonderful together, Harry and I don't know why we both feel that same emptiness compared to another time in our lives." Ginny cried openly.
Harry soothed his lovely friend. He knew at that moment that girlfriend from now on was a poor term for their relationship. Her love had strengthened him at a time when he was desperate for a love. He needed a girl who could love like she could. But that time had come and gone somehow for both of them. He was sad as she cried. They were sad because of the loss of something that had promised to be great and lasting had been built around different circumstances. He'd found strength while they'd been apart and she had grown from beautiful swan to a magnificently, beautiful swan that couldn't be controlled in his world.
"You know I can't stand the way guys look at you, Ginny. I know you are with me and completely faithful. So it makes no sense to let that bother me, but it does. It's as if you were born for the bright lights. I have the bright lights but one day I will shed them for the happiness of obscurity," said Harry. "Does that sound stupid?"
"Kinda, yeah, Harry. Because the truth is that I want to be with you and no one else. I don't want to share you with the world either, but it's impossible. No one is as beautiful as you make me sound. I certainly don't feel that beautiful right now," she sniffled.
Harry took her hands and looked into her face as they stood at the very top level of the winding circular staircase looking down. He kissed her softly as she responded he pulled away. "Ginny, I love you, but one day you would hate me when I found someone who was more of a homebody and had to tell you. You made me promise that you would not be the last to know, Ginny. I love you enough to be cruel now to be kind later." Harry couldn't believe his words. His heart ached as he felt desperate in his silent internal world. He knew every person must feel the same thing when love is at the center of the controversy. He walked away feeling more miserable than he'd ever felt.
That night as he slept, he dreamt of making love to Ginny along with many other dreams of reconciliation. He wanted her to love him and he wanted to love her, but each successive dream seemed to end in despair. He awoke to the sun just breaking the horizon and sudden need to use the loo. He felt out of place this morning. He felt sense of emptiness he'd not felt for a long, long time. He stood in the loo doing his business as the night before played again in his head. He washed his hands and walked toward the bed when like a rush of wind, the emotions took over. Harry had never remembered crying aloud for anything other than his parents, but at that moment his eye burned and his chest heaved as he sat down on the bed facing the opposite direction from his roommates.
He felt it all coming at once. He thought hard as his body wracked with the silent convulsions of a good cry. He was not crying because he'd never love like that again. He was crying because he knew he'd hurt someone he still loved very much. As the waves of sadness passed, he looked over at the calendar to see what day it was. He was dumbfounded. It was March 19th. Happy Birthday, Ron. Guess what I got you for your birthday, mate? You'll never guess, a reason to hate me for the rest of my life, he thought. And I probably might as well give myself a black-eye to boot. He snickered at the dark irony of that and got ready to shower and face the music.
-->