Unofficial Portkey Archive

Chapter 3-Harry, the Typical Human Male

Harry didn't know whether it was his imagination or Ron had already beaten him into a lifeless pulp and he was just now checking in for the next great adventure. He laughed to himself for stealing that wonderful line from Professor Dumbledore. He was miserable. But, he also knew from his daydreams that he was one miserable excuse for a boyfriend. She deserved a boy that wasn't imagining almost every girl he saw in some stage of undress. He was sure he was exaggerating about everything including how bad he was and how popular Ginny was. That's what made him miserable. He knew had concocted a story that gave him a reason to leave Ginny without saying that they just weren't as happy as they could be.

As he descended the stairs to the common room it occurred to him that Ron didn't know yet. If he had, Harry would have died in his sleep or awakened in either the Infirmary or St. Mungo's Hospital. He was sad when he saw Hermione standing in the common room. He was sure she would also regard him as a foul git. But she smiled at him like always and looked excited about something.

"Harry, I have something so fantastic for Ron on his birthday. I can't wait for him to come down." Harry's heart sank. The news of he and Ginny would ruin Hermione's surprise. That was totally unfair. She and Ron had taken forever to get rolling as a couple and he felt they deserved to be happy. He decided he couldn't be the one to tell them.

"Ah, yeah, that's great Hermione," he stammered. "I'll just let you surprise him. I'll see you in transfiguration." He wondered if today would be the day that Ron would perfect changing the human form into something else. Maybe he would change Harry into a gnat and, with one smack of the hand, end him that way. A slight bit of foreboding hit him because it wasn't impossible.

Harry didn't even want to be cornered in the Great Hall at breakfast. He grabbed a couple of cherry Danish and a paper cup of pumpkin juice and scurried to find a place close to Mrs. McGonagall's classroom. There, alone, he could sit and think. His mind had begun to clear and along with it a smidgeon of the guilt. He knew he'd done the right thing and Ginny would soon find a young suitor who would make the pain go away. She was resilient. Or at least, he'd hoped he hadn't been wrong about that.

He stepped into the transfiguration classroom several minutes early, immediately wondering why so early. Why didn't he wait to the last minute so that neither Ron nor Hermione would have time to chastise him. Only thirty seconds later, he heard Ron and Hermione laughing on their way to class. "Hiya, Harry," said Ron looking almost too friendly. "Look what Hermione had for me this morning."

Harry hesitated, but when he looked he was a bit perplexed. Ron held up two cards. And, then it dawned on him. They were tickets to a Quidditch match. "Brilliant, Ron. Bravo, Hermione. How'd you pull that one off?"

"Well, you remember Oliver Wood, right?" Harry could tell Hermione loved telling this story. She was so animated and full of life. He nodded and she continued to tell him the story. She'd written to Oliver long ago and asked if he ever had tickets to a match could he please tell her how much he wanted for them and she'd buy them for Ron. She received the tickets by owl just days ago with a note that congratulated them on being together. Apparently someone told Oliver about Ron. Oliver must have felt obliged since Ron would one day be an opposing goalkeeper.

Harry looked at Ron. He was immensely satisfied. Ron was filled with happiness to see that Hermione had long thought of him as special. Ron was always looking for confirmation that Hermione was satisfied with him.

Then one of the strangest comments he'd ever heard came out of Ron's mouth. "I hope you're okay, mate. I'm always afraid of what it would feel like if Hermione broke up with me."

Hermione lowered her voice, leaned over and kissed him on the cheek. "Ginny told us she broke up with you last night. We're here for you if you need us."

Harry didn't know how to react. One part of him wanted to jump for joy that he wouldn't lose his best friends today and the other hated having to play the victim. He knew he'd have to come clean and he felt sad for Ginny. Why would she do that? Maybe she just didn't want to see Ron and he fight. Or, maybe, secretly she was happy that at sixteen she wasn't under so much pressure of being Harry Potter's girl. Harry hoped that was it and then all worry was gone.

"Class, please. May I have your attention?" requested Mrs. McGonagall.

* ^ # *

Harry left transfiguration in one piece and ironically, today had been the day when Ron had successfully turned Harry into monkey. He felt lucky. They had been partners ever since they're return to Hogwarts. Harry had succeeded a month before turning Ron into a donkey. Harry had a bit of fun with Ron that day too. It had strained their relationship slightly because Harry said it had been easier to turn Ron into something he was similar to his personality wise and someone yelled out-Jackass. Ron had not been so cruel in return. Probably, Harry thought, because he was on cloud nine with Hermione today. They all laughed as they ran from transfiguration to enjoy a three-hour free period for study. Other students would have had to labor through those three hours just to complete their homework. Harry saw a difference in Hermione. She'd stopped being a bookworm now with Ron by her side.

"Harry, I know it's like the next morning, but Parvati heard Ginny had dumped you and asked if you were okay," Ron's face winced in pain as Hermione's elbow crushed him in the ribs. He looked at Hermione and realized what he'd said. "Sorry, mate, you know I didn't mean it like that." Harry could see that Ron wasn't exactly as apologetic as his words. He either remembered the humiliation from transfiguration or he liked knowing Ginny had jilted him. Either way, Harry was sure Ron wasn't that insensitive without thinking.

Harry had the ace in the hole though and was going to let it go, but saw an advantage. "It's alright Ron, I know you are a social retard when it comes to sensitivity." Ron's face turned as red as his hair, but he held his tongue. "Parvati, huh? Well, tell her I'm okay and thanks for thinking about me. You know I like her, but I'm not sure that Parvati deserves a guy on the rebound. Also, I'm not sure I want to deal with girl problems right now." He was ecstatic with how this was going. He had told the complete truth, garnered sympathy, and had basically kicked Ron in the nards at the same time. A brief pang of guilt hit Harry but he ignored it. "You know, maybe it would be nice to go to Hogsmeade with someone this weekend and not be a third wheel."

"Brilliant idea, Harry. I'll talk to Parvati later, is that okay? I think she'll understand. I'll tell her you'll talk to her in the next day or so," said a wonderfully tender Hermione. He looked at her again and thought how lucky Ron was to have Hermione in his corner. He would always be happy, Harry thought. The more he thought of it the more sure he became that Ron had tried to humiliate him. He couldn't believe it was transfiguration. It had to be because of Ginny.

Harry spent that night feeling sad in the common room as he watched Ginny, Hermione and the other Gryffindor girls. They were organizing a spring dance for just the Ravenclaws and Gryffindors. Apparently, the Slytherins, under their new headmaster Horace Slughorn, were going to match up and do the same with the Hufflepuffs on a different weekend. Harry was happy this was a girl thing. It didn't require the boys to be involved in the planning, but he was sure the blokes would end up suffering through some kind of formal or dance and that would just be a pain in the Royal bum.

He wished that he understood what he wanted in a girl. It was apparent that physical characteristics were easy to come by. There were tall ones, short ones, well-endowed ones, incredibly cute ones, sturdy ones and frail ones from which to choose and every shape and size in between. He felt sad though because he knew he'd never have trouble finding a girl, but he'd never know if it was the fame or him that attracted her. That was one thing with Ginny that was always true; it had always been him and not the fame. Again the sadness fell heavy in his heart as he looked at her.

Harry sighed and forced himself to make some decisions. One, he would not get involved with one girl exclusively. Two, he was going to at least be open-minded enough to be friends with even some that he didn't find particularly attractive as long as she didn't act like a giggly idiot. Three, he would explore his sexuality without trying to find Miss Right in every one of them. There has to be someone who's my soul mate somewhere.

As that night came to a close, Harry thought of Parvati once again. He saw her near the entrance to the girls' dorm talking with a few of her friends. He watched her flip her beautiful mane of long black hair back off her shoulder as she began talking to Hermione. He couldn't help but feel the excitement of knowing that Hermione was probably setting the groundwork for him to ask her to go to Hogsmeade. Yet, he felt a little uneasy as he realized he'd still have to ask her himself. He liked her and he'd fantasized about her. He'd even had erotic dreams of her, but he didn't want complications. He wanted a friendship that could grow and if she was willing, wanton sex in the prefect hot tub. Harry knew that was not what he really wanted, but it was exhilarating to think about.

He inched closer to hear their conversation. He knew he was taking a chance of being seen and having to greet Parvati tonight. Neither she nor Hermione noticed him ducking in and out of the crowd as he closed in. It was kind of cool to get so close in plain sight and not be noticed, he thought. He sidestepped a group of fourth years and put his back to the wall some ten feet away off to the side. He would really look like a creep if they saw him. There could be only one explanation as to how or why he got there. He was snooping. Hermione would kill him if she caught him. He listened intently.

Hermione and Parvati were finishing up their conversation. "He likes you Parvati and I think he wants a friend. He's a very good friend by the way," said Hermione. "It kind of depends on you and whether you want to have a boy you like as only a friend."

Parvati looked a little discouraged. "Why do you think it is that you two never hit it off?" she paused. "I'm sorry Hermione, that's really none of my business. But you don't think he's ready for a girlfriend then?" she asked trying to divert the attention from her comment about Harry and Hermione..

"Me and Harry? You have to be joking. The Daily Prophet had us doing everything together besides making love on the front lawn of Hogwarts. I think we both reacted the same way to that and it strengthened us as friends. So we never thought about it again. As far as Harry looking for a girlfriend goes, you two will have to work that out. But seriously, I think he's kind of `relationship-ed' out, if you know what I mean?" Hermione, looked down at her feet and said, "Is that even a word?" She and Parvati laughed. "I don't think so. Anyway, Parvati, you are a good person and I trust you with him. I mean he's my friend and I wouldn't just put him with anyone. You guys will figure it out. Just have fun and enjoy each others' company."

Harry walked up the stairs to the boys' dorm thinking carefully about how he really felt about her. He knew that a stupid saying like, "she's only a friend" would only go so far if they really hit it off. He was confused again. Was he thinking of Parvati or Hermione? He shuddered as he undressed and tried desperately to clear his mind. When he had succeeded, he faded off into the first dreamless, restful sleep he'd had in days.

It was Thursday when Harry realized he'd better stop dilly-dallying about asking Parvati about Hogsmeade. Parvati's and Hermione's conversation was hard to interpret. Harry understood now why people shouldn't eavesdrop. Unless you are in the conversation and can ask for clarification through body language and/or questions, you don't necessarily understand what you're hearing. What were Parvati's facial expressions when she asked Hermione about me wanting a girlfriend? For the past day or so he'd nearly driven himself mad thinking about it. Harry looked over at the opposite corner of the common room and saw Hermione sitting alone.

Harry approached her with a hardy greeting. "Hi Hermione! How's my favorite almost-sister, kind-of almost sister-in-law?"

Hermione looked at Harry like he had two heads and was speaking Troll. "What are you talking about?"

Harry smiled, knowing full well that neither she nor Ron had ever heard him refer to them in that way. "Hermione, sometimes I think of you guys like my family… I mean, like my real family with brothers and sisters and stuff. The way you two are going I have to decide which of you I consider my sibling so that I don't get the creepy feeling of incest between my brother and sister when you get married." Harry took the plunge, making Hermione blush which was often hard to do since she was as witty as he.

Hermione smiled. "You are a crackpot, Harry Potter. A certifiable nut." They laughed. "I take that as a compliment. And I will seek psychological help for you at the first opportunity. I guess I never really regarded you as a `brother' so-to-speak. That's just weird."

That was a strange answer, thought Harry. He was sure she'd agree that they were like brother and sister. "You don't look at me like a brother? What then?"

"Harry, I look at you like my second best friend. Brothers and sisters fight. We rarely do. And, you and Ron compete like jealous siblings all the time," said Hermione warily. "So, I guess that part of the analogy holds."

Harry sensed a little sadness and sensitivity in Hermione this afternoon. She had a book open, yet he hadn't seen her even glance at it. Instead, she'd been looking off into another corner of the room. "Is everything okay, Hermione?"

"Sure, fine. Spectacular even," she replied absent-mindedly.

"Hermione, this isn't you. You don't seem to be yourself. What's up?" pressed Harry.

Harry wasn't ready for her answer.

"Ron is such a jerk sometimes. He goes off and makes decisions without asking my opinion. Or he gets sidetracked and as is twenty-minutes late for studying because of your stupid Quidditch practices. Harry, Ron told me last night that he was going to go to London today to meet with the Cannons' representative. He didn't ask me to even go with him. Plus, he said that he didn't know what they had planned. He might not be back for the Hogsmeade weekend." Hermione's voice changed from one of hurt to anger over and over again as she railed on and on. She told Harry of other times that she and Ron didn't connect. "It's ironic Harry. Ron treats me more like a sister than you do." She smiled broadly and broke into a laugh. "I'm sorry Harry. I just had to get some of that stuff out. He and I are okay. But he is an insensitive git sometimes."

Harry smiled at Hermione. She was rolling with this disappointment pretty well he thought. Ron had only briefly mentioned that he had to do some business with the team the week he turned eighteen. It didn't dawn on him that Ron might not share everything with Hermione. "He didn't ever really make a big deal to me about it either, Hermione. I forgot until you mentioned it."

"I love him, Harry. I think you know how I mean," she paused. "I don't mean to be insensitive Harry, but like how you and Ginny are under each other's skin. You may have broken up, but you'll always love each other. I can see that for sure."

Dammit, thought Harry. How do girls do that? They see everything. Hermione was still talking and jerked him out of his thoughts.

"I'm not sure that Ginny told us the whole story about you two, but it's your business so we accepted it at face value," said Hermione.

Harry got butterflies again. This time it was because Hermione suspected Ginny of not telling the whole truth.

"I never asked you what Ginny said about us, Hermione. What did she say?" inquired Harry.

"She said that you two agreed that she was too young to be tied down to a boyfriend and she needed to be free at her age," said Hermione. "She didn't really elaborate which seemed odd. I felt she left some things out. I know Ron doesn't think so, because he agreed with her. He figures you must be hurting because you don't have anyone to snog with anymore. I swear, I wanted to slap Ron when he said that."

Hermione's gaze was icy and calculating. Harry remained silent hoping Hermione would just move on, but she just looked at him. "We did agree, Hermione. That much is true. As far as Ron goes, I don't think he ever got over catching us in Charlie's room that night. I think he still thinks we were having sex."

"I knew it. You're being the same way she was. What happened, Harry? I'm curious. Did you break it off with her? Did she cover it up so Ron wouldn't kill you?" Hermione was scaring him. She was hitting every little point.

He didn't want to admit the truth yet. If she was just fishing, then he'd be stupid to confirm it. "What do you want to know, Hermione?"

"The truth is a good thing Harry. I won't tell anyone. Was it because you guys just couldn't get back the feelings you had before? Or did you hate the fact that you had to share her because she is one of the most popular girls here? The look on your face tells me I'm close Harry." Hermione was getting one of her superiority things going.

"Does it matter, Hermione? I mean as long as we both moved on without animosity and a big row. Does it really matter?" asked Harry trying not to answer the question directly.

"It matters to me Harry. I care about both of you. I know it must have hurt to come to the realization that things weren't right," said Hermione as she put her hand on Harry's.

Harry appreciated the comfort Hermione was offering, but he was struggling against the pain he'd thought he'd buried a few days before when he thought he was off the hook. "It's really kind of my fault, Hermione." Ooh, thought Harry. I don't know if she'll understand my motives. He paused.

"Harry?" Hermione prodded.

"I started feeling guilty about having fantasies about other girls, okay? She seemed to enjoy all the attention, so I just decided to tell her we had to move on. I'm a right foul git for that. She doesn't know. I just couldn't stand the fact that I was thinking about other people and she was passing up some really good opportunities with her classmates. Every guy likes her. I'm exaggerating the situation, of course. But I was feeling guilty all the time," said Harry almost angrily. He hated what he'd done even though he was sure now while telling Hermione that he'd done the right thing. He felt the tears burning in his eyes.

Hermione respectfully turned away to let Harry settle himself. When she looked back at him Harry expected to get an earful about being a typical guy. But he was surprised. "That explains a lot, Harry. She told me a Christmas that she knew that one day she'd have to let you go so that you'd be sure she was the one. She's one smart cookie. I disagreed with her but she told me that someone as famous as you was going to have too many choices and you'd get confused. She just hoped that you'd tell her sooner rather than later. I'm sure it hurt her deeply to lose you and she might be a little angry, but she knew she couldn't let Ron get the wrong idea. She just did what someone who loves us would do. She only told us what we needed to know."

Harry sighed with relief that Hermione didn't mark him as some evil womanizer stalking every girl he saw. He supposed the guilt made him feel just like that sometimes. "Thanks for understanding, Hermione. It's important to me."

Hermione's expression changed a bit. "Harry, don't think that I like what I heard. To a degree, you showed me what a man should be like. Instead of taking advantage and letting the relationship become intimate and totally physical like you could have done with Ginny, you showed some integrity. But you're still a rotten scoundrel for thinking with your pants." She paused. "You have fantasies about other girls?"

Harry knew he'd screwed up somewhere in this conversation. It had gone too well. He didn't know how to respond. So he tried the truth again. "What? I'm not just like every teenage guy? I can't look at girls and see a beautiful girl and imagine what it would be like to kiss her or whatever? I just knew that I had to be free in case I really wanted to act on one."

"Men," said Hermione. "What do you guys think anyway? Don't you get the love part of it? Or do you focus on the sex part of it?"

Harry's head was spinning. He would never have expected this conversation with Hermione in his wildest dreams. He felt like he was defending every guy who ever looked at a girl. "Hermione, girls at this age think about marriage and romance. Guys think about sowing their wild oats before they pick the girl to settle down with. Some have no conscience and others do." Harry sighed and wished he could get away.

They sat in silence. Harry could handle silence at the moment. He didn't want to be so defensive. He looked at Hermione more closely. She seemed lost in thought. "Hermione, are you okay?"

"Why I thought you were different than other boys is beyond me, Harry. Maybe it's just because I admire you so much that I expect you to be perfect. Ron's my boyfriend, Harry and I love him, but you were my `hero'," said Hermione.

Harry felt uncomfortable talking to Hermione for the first time in his life. She'd been disappointed in him before when he had had a row with Ron or failed to do his homework, but this sense of disappointment made him sad. He felt he'd let Hermione down. "I'm sorry, Hermione. I mean for not meeting your expectations." He wanted the words back almost as soon as he said them. To him, they sounded sarcastic in a way he didn't mean to sound. He truly felt sad that he wasn't a "hero" to her anymore. A pang of sadness hit as he thought of that word and how he hated for most people to think of him as a "hero" but wanted Hermione to see him that way.

Hermione smiled at him. "Oh, Harry, lighten up a little. We grew up together, you, Ron and me. I just never thought of you as one who would look at girls as sexual objects." Her chest rose in a brief sigh as she recanted. "No, I mean I just didn't see you as someone who could be shallow like that. You know why don't you? It's because it means that I have to adjust my thinking since I now have to care for a womanizing, creepy friend without wanting to hex him into the next millennium." She smiled and softly touched his hand. "In short, Harry, you were the last person I expected to act like the typical human male following his crotch like a divining rod, I guess." Again, she smiled.

Harry didn't know how to take this and before he knew what he was saying, he said, "I don't know how to take that, I really don't."

Hermione looked at him and said, "Let's just say I won't tell my friends you are harmless anymore." She smiled and tilted her head at him in a playfully sexy way and hissed like a cat that was trying to keep an intruder away.

They laughed. "And, Harry, I still love you. You know that right?" Hermione said as Harry got up to leave.

"Yeah, likewise, Hermione," Harry said as he turned away even more confused. "Likewise," he whispered under his breath as he walked away thinking that she had always been a shining light in his life and she had cheered him up when he needed it badly. And he'd thought she'd needed the cheering up.

He turned and looked back at her when he got to the door. She was talking to Parvati. He could see them laugh. He wondered if Hermione was warning Parvati. He decided he'd better approach Parvati now instead of searching her out later. He crossed back over toward them.

As he approached, he heard Hermione say, "And I though I was trying to cheer Harry up. But he ended up making me feel better. There you are. I thought you'd just left." Hermione looked startled at the sight of Harry.

"I was on the way out and caught sight of Parvati. So I came back," explained Harry.

"Hi, Parvati. I know this is a little awkward, but would you like to go with me to Hogsmeade Saturday?" Harry asked with his courage buffeted by the presence of Hermione. Somehow he was sure that Parvati couldn't say no in front of her.

"Sure, I'd like that," replied Parvati.

"Okay, then it's settled. I'll meet you here on Saturday and we'll spend the day together," Harry smiled and turned toward the door again. He stopped and turned again. "Parvati, I really am looking forward to seeing you Saturday."

Harry went through the door aware that both girls were still watching him. He laughed at the irony of Hermione feeling exactly the way he did with the roles reversed.

"Parvati, I might have told you Harry was harmless before. Well, don't believe it. He's just like every other boy here," Hermione smiled at Parvati.

Parvati was still smiling at Harry's admission that he liked her and said, "So, he is subject to the wiles of a woman, you think?"

"Careful, he may be up to the challenge," Hermione and Parvati both laughed.

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