Chapter 2 - The Sickness of Hermione
Hermione was tired - but then again, Hermione was always tired. Exhaustion was a regular part of her life now, and the excitement of Christmas and New Years always took a while to for her to get over. However, it was the middle of January and routine was finally returning to normal starting with brunch with Ron, Luna, Ginny and Neville. Sighing a contented sigh, Hermione entered the local café they often met at for the regular get togethers.
Everyone was there, talking adamantly, not noticing her arrival until she was basically at the table. Removing her gloves and scarf she frowned as Ginny finally noticed her standing there and the talk between them all ceased abruptly.
"Hey Hermione," Ginny said innocently as Ron stood and drew Hermione into a hug before sitting once more and scooting over to make room for her on the bench seat where he sat with Luna. Hermione remained standing as she looked at her friends. Something was up. Both Ron and Neville looked guilty while Luna - well, Luna just looked like Luna.
"What's going on?" she asked firmly.
"What makes you think something is going on?" Ginny replied casually as she reached for her cup of coffee, "everything is…"
"Because I'm not stupid," Hermione bit, "tell me what is wrong. Now." The two couples looked at each other before Ron finally spoke.
"It's about Harry."
"Harry?" Hermione said, confused - she wasn't expecting that answer.
"Hermione, Harry's home." She looked sharply at Ron who looked back at her with an apologetic smile.
"But Harry is dead…" she said firmly, trying to hang on to the same thought that had kept her sane for the last five years.
"Harry isn't dead sweetie," Ginny replied, getting out from next to Neville and walking over to her friend, "you know he isn't."
"He can't come home, he can't come back," Hermione continued, talking more to herself than anyone else.
"Don't you want to see him?" Ron asked tentatively
.
"No! No Ron," she snapped, "and why would you want to either? He deserted us! Left us to pick up the pieces, deal with…everything!"
"He would have had his reasons…"
"We were a team!" she yelled, not caring about the stares from the other diners "we stood by him, for better and for worse, side by side. And then he just left! Whatever his problems were, we should have gone through them together, just like every thing else. It was always supposed to be the three of us together, forever!"
"But it's not just the three of us anymore Hermione," Ron said gently, trying to placate his friend, "I've got Luna and Lenny. One day you'll find someone and Harry - well…"
"That's different Ronald, and you know it," she continued, shaking with emotion, "that's growing up. I didn't mean we would all live together and have adventures until we die. I meant that we would be friends, be there for each other, talk to each other. But no, he buggers off and ignores us like we were nothing!"
"He would have had his reasons…" Ron repeated.
"I don't care what his reasons were! I don't care what his reasons are! If he had valued my friendship, our friendship, he should have stayed!" Hermione's head began to throb as her outburst began to take its toll on her body. Making her way to the table, she collapsed down onto the bench seat next to Ron and put her head into her hands.
Harry was back. Harry was back and she needed to deal with that. How - she wasn't quite sure, but she would have to find a way. A way that didn't ruin it for the others. She felt Ron's arm drape over her shoulder, trying to give her comfort.
"He was our friend Hermione," he said softly.
"I know," she sighed, "and I will be there with you to welcome him back. But I can't forgive him Ron, I just can't." Ron nodded before enfolding her into a hug. She stayed there for a moment before drawing away.
"I'm guessing there's a welcome back get together?" she questioned.
"Saturday," Ron replied, "we're having a dinner at The Burrow, just the five of us. Oh, and Lenny." Hermione nodded before standing and finally looking at the others.
"I need to go…" she began before Ginny replaced her brother at Hermione's side.
"Stay, have some lunch," Ginny pleaded, "don't be on your own now…"
"I'll be fine," Hermione interrupted, "I just need some time to think, prepare. And I have a headache that will need to be dealt with. I'll see you all on Saturday."
"Promise?"
"Promise." Hugging her friend before saying her goodbyes to Ron, Luna and Neville she left the cafe and began the walk home. Her brain whirled at the news she had just been given but the mantra that continued through her mind was that he was back, the bastard was back.
Hermione wasn't well, but she was determined to keep her promise to Ginny. So it was with a large amount of fear that she Flooed to The Burrow the following Saturday, her heart thumping with great pace in her chest. Gingerly, she stepped out of the hearth in the Weasley's lounge as ready as she could be. But before she could even think, a miniature red haired boy flung himself at her.
"Aunt Hermy," Lenny squealed, "you made it!"
"Yes I made it," Hermione replied, smiling as she hugged the three year old, "and how's things with you Mr Weasley."
"Mr Weasley's my dad," the young man said frowning, "I'm Lenny! Come with me, I have a surprise for you!" Letting herself be led by the hand through the small group of familiar faces, she knew who would be Lenny's surprise. Her heart continued to beat wildly as she found she wasn't mistaken. The little boy stopped triumphantly in front of him - Harry Potter.
"Look who's here Aunt Hermy," Lenny enthused, "it Harry Potter! He's famous!"
Hermione watched as a small smile tugged at her old friends' mouth.
"Hi Hermy," he said grinning, which died when he noticed it wasn't returned.
"Only Lenny can get away with calling me Hermy," she replied with little emotion, "welcome back Harry." She saw the confusion that crossed his face, but she didn't care. Instead she knelt down and spoke to Lenny.
"Thanks for the surprise," she said with what she hoped was a smile, "but I better go see if your nanna needs some help."
"Can we play later?"
"Yep."
"And will you read me a bedtime story?"
"You bet."
"Okay!" and with that the boy ran off, ready for another adventure. With a bit of a struggle, she stood up and without letting Harry say another word, went to the kitchen with Ginny and Luna following closely behind. Molly was working at the sink, turning when Hermione and the others entered. Wearily, Hermione sat down at the kitchen table with the youngest Weasley at her side.
"Are you okay?" Ginny asked, "Hermione, you look terrible."
"Haven't been sleeping well," she replied as she hung her head down, "I did it Ginny."
"Did what?"
"I spoke to him without yelling or crying. That's progress don't you think?" She looked up into the worried face of her friend and smiled, before resting her aching head in her hands.
"Hermione, you need to rest sweetie," Ginny replied as she sat next to Hermione, "why don't you let me take you home…"
"No," Hermione responded, "no, I said I'd stay for dinner and I will. Besides, I think I've gone past fixing how I feel with just a nap."
"Hermione…" Ginny began, but she was once again interrupted.
"Why is this affecting me so much Ginny? If anyone should be upset, its you but you're not. Neither is Ron."
"That's because you were the closest to Harry, even closer than me really…"
"No I wasn't - you guys were in love! You were together when he left!"
"We thought we were in love Hermione, and that's different," Ginny said gently, "I realise now that what I felt for Harry is nothing like what I feel for Neville. This is real - Harry wasn't. Besides, I would have always come second to you. I wasn't the most important girl in his life…"
"Harry never loved me, you know that, we were only ever just friends…"
"You have never been 'just' Harry's friend as he is more than 'just' a friend to you. That's why this has been so difficult…"
"I really believed that he was dead, you know. I thought that would be the only reason he'd stay away."
"I know." They both paused.
"I'm sorry I was never there for you after he left," Hermione said finally.
"You had more to cope with than any of us Hermione," Ginny smiled at her friend, "I had others who were kind enough to listen - including Neville." Hermione returned her smile.
"Ron was affected too," Luna ventured as she made her way to the table, standing behind Ginny, "but he didn't want you to know how much. Harry's going hurt him badly but he is just happy to have him back."
"I guess I should be as well then," Hermione said resignedly.
"You do what is best for you dear," Mrs Weasley joined in, "your circumstances are different and you are more than entitled to be angry at Harry."
Hermione looked up at the three women who had helped her so much over the last five years. Loosing Dumbledore, then her parents plus Hagrid had been horrendous. But that was nothing to being cursed with a near-fatal curse, a curse that is sapping her energy a bit more each day, a curse that has taken away her ability to enjoy the little bit of life she has left - and then not having Harry by her side to help her to get through it all. Instead it had been these ladies and their families who had supported her and she wouldn't have got through it without them.
"Thanks Molly," she said finally, "thanks all of you."
As the table was set and the dinner dished up, the men joined the women in the kitchen. Hermione was already seated and like usual, Lenny sat next to her. This time, he had the hand of Harry who was made to sit on the little boys other side.
"Uncle Harry can sit by me, can't he dad?" Ron smiled at his son's question as it seemed to everyone else that Harry had little choice.
"If he wants to Lenny, but you can't annoy him while he eats, okay?"
"Okay." Silence. "Uncle Harry, do you have a broom? 'Cause I have! Mum has finally said I could fly and it is so much fun! Can you fly?"
"Ah, yeah, though I haven't for a wh…"
"When I'm grown up, I'm going to play Quidditch, just like dad and Uncle Bill, and Uncle Charlie, and Uncle Fred and…"
"I think he gets the point Lenny," Ron interrupted, with a small apologetic smile at Harry.
"Did you play Quidditch Uncle Harry?" Lenny continued without hesitation.
"Yep, I was a Seeker…"
"Dad was a Keeper," Lenny interrupted, "but Aunt Hermy didn't play. Aunt Ginny did though! You don't like Quidditch do you Aunt Hermy…"
"No, no I don't," Hermione answered, "but I will go and watch the Canons with you and your dad the next time they're in town."
"Promise?" Hermione nodded, smiling. In a flash, Lenny turned his attention back to Harry.
"Uncle Harry, are you going to come as well? Or will you go again?" Hermione found herself holding her breath as she waited for Harry's answer.
"Sure, if I can," Harry replied, "and I'm not going anywhere." She closed her eyes and silently let her breath out as he spoke, realising that her grip on everything was getting weaker and weaker.
"Uncle Harry, did you…"
"I think that's enough Lenny," Luna interrupted, "let Uncle Harry eat." Lenny drew his eyes away from Harry and looked at his mother seated on the other side of the table, seeing that she meant business. He may only be three but he knew when to stop.
"Okay mum," he said before concentrating on his food.
"So Harry," Ginny began, taking over where her nephew finished, "where have you been for the last five years?"
"Ah, two years in Poland, a year and a bit in Australia and nearly two years in New Zealand."
"Wow," Lenny enthused, forgetting his earlier warning, "where are those places? Can you fly there on a broom?"
"Well, no Lenny," Harry laughed, "they're a bit too far away."
"So how did you get there?" the small boy asked, confused.
"I flew in a Muggle machine called an airplane which took hours and hours," Harry explained to Lenny's satisfaction.
"You didn't use the wizarding network?" Arthur asked, drawing Harry's attention away from the squirming child sitting next to him.
"No," he replied, "I haven't really used magic that much since I left here. I've been living as a Muggle."
"You've been living as a Muggle?" Ron repeated, amazed.
"Yeah," Harry smiled at his old friend, "ironic isn't it."
"What was Australia like?" Neville asked, joining in the conversation.
"I lived just outside of Perth, so it was hot but beautiful. Fantastic beaches."
"And many beautiful ladies, no doubt," Ginny grinned mischievously.
"I guess so," Harry laughed back at her.
"Come on Harry," Ginny continued, "you can't tell me that you've travelled all over the world and not noticed the women, because they would have definitely noticed you!"
"Ginny!" Mrs Weasley exclaimed.
"I really don't think that you should be having this conversation with your ex-boyfriend while your current boyfriend is sitting next to you," Ron said rather sternly.
"I don't mind," Neville joined in, "I agree, actually. You're a good looking bloke Harry."
"Here, here!" Luna laughed, much to Ron's embarrassment before he too saw the humour (and how uncomfortable Harry was looking) and joined in with the laughter.
However Hermione didn't laugh and noticed neither did Harry (or Lenny for that matter, who wanted to finish his dinner so he could go and play, totally oblivious to what was taking place around him). She had listened to the conversation in silence, intent on just eating the dessert that was now in front of her without showing him any indication that she cared about what he was saying. But she was a smart woman and even in her exhausted state, every word that he spoke was stored in her brain for further analysis.
"Mummy," Lenny's voice broke through the chatter, "I've finished. Can I go and play?"
"Sure darling," Luna smiled as her son thanked his grandmother for the dinner before he jumped down from his chair and sprinted away.
"So," Ron's attention returned back to Harry, "evidently, girls would have noticed you but you didn't notice girls - foreign girls - during your travels. I find that hard to believe."
"Well, I wasn't quite in the right space to start dating…"
"But you must have had some form of relationships while away," Ginny questioned.
"No, not really…"
"Not even sex?" Luna asked, ignoring the gasps from the senior Weasley's and sniggers from the younger.
"Pure as the day I left Hogwarts," Harry laughed, no hint of a blush. Unwittingly Hermione's head snapped up.
"Really?" Ginny said loudly, her face showing her surprise, "you've never had sex?"
"I think I might retire to the living room," a flustered Mrs Weasley said as she rose, ignored by the others at the table - including her husband, "Arthur, will you join me?" Realising it was an order more than a request, Mr Weasley excused himself and followed his wife out of the room, glancing openly back to the table.
"Nope," Harry finally replied, once the senior Weasley's had gone, "never had sex."
"You mean, you and Ginny never…well, you know…" Hermione asked, making Harry turn to her at the sound of her voice.
"No, we didn't. I kind of had other things on my mind…"
"And I was only sixteen," Ginny interjected, somewhat annoyed, "why does every one think I was a slut?"
"I didn't mean it that way Ginny," Hermione said frantically, "I just thought, well, you two were so close…"
"Like you and Ron, yet you guys never had sex either!"
"Thanks for that Ginny," Ron spat at his sister, "I'm sure sharing that bit of information really helped…"
"You…you two didn't either?" Harry asked, looking directly at Hermione, his eyes full of surprise. She could feel herself shake, the eyes that had haunted her dreams for so long were piercing her with concern. He didn't know what was happening to her yet it was those wonderfully green eyes that told her he knew something was wrong. She felt herself begin to tear and the last thing she wanted was for him to see her cry. Quickly, she looked back down at her dessert and tried with what little strength she had left to get herself under control.
"Nah mate, we were still finding it difficult to be with each other let alone sleep with each other," Ron smiled, "Bloody hell, I can't believe I lost my virginity before you guys. Never saw that coming!"
Did Ron just say that? she thought miserably, knowing she had just blushed head to foot before smiling to herself, still, at least its stopped me wanting to cry.
Suddenly, the kitchen door crashed open.
"Aunt Hermy, Aunt Hermy," Lenny (thankfully) interrupted, "do you want to play? You said you would!"
"I did, didn't I," Hermione replied, ignoring everyone else, grateful she had an excuse to leave, "well, lets go, but it will have to be something sitting down, okay?"
"Okay!" Gingerly, Hermione stood and let herself be led out of the dinning room by Lenny, making sure she didn't look at any of the others as she left.
Smiling as they passed Mr and Mrs Weasley in deep conversation on the couch, Hermione followed her young playmate to his make-shift room on the first floor. His toys were every where, as well as belongings from his cousins, but her chair was empty (probably cleared before Lenny had gone to get her, knowing that was her favourite place to sit). Wearily she sat down and closed her eyes briefly as Lenny went to get what ever game he wanted her to play.
Bright pin-pricks of light began to dance in front of her closed eyelids, swirling around in a way that began to make her feel giddy. Unable to re-open her eyes, she instead concentrated on remaining upright, forgetting that she was actually sitting comfortably in a chair. In fact, she was no longer aware of Lenny or the game he had chosen for them to play. Instead, her mind began to be engulfed with the thick darkness that warned her the curse was once again taking affect.
She had only felt this sensation four times before, spread out during the five years she had lived with her illness. Each time she had been too exhausted to fight the nothingness she knew would soon consume her and this occasion was no different. Her mind was blissfully blank as all awareness disappeared. She didn't hear Lenny's panicked pleas for her to wake up, or feel him shake her as she slumped down in her favourite chair. All there was for Hermione was darkness, blissful darkness.
A/N - so now you know what is wrong with Hermione - hope that hasn't upset any of you. Oh, and I don't really know too many three year olds so I apologise if I haven't got the mannerisms for Lenny's age right.