A/N - here you go and hope you enjoy it. Will hope to upload the last chapter for the year tomorrow but movies tonight, New Year Eve celebrations and relative meeting may (and only may) thwart that plan. Will try my hardest cause I really like the next chapter…
Chapter 7 - Happy News
Two months passed and Harry and Hermione slipped easily into living together. Harry had got a part-time job at the pub where he had initially met Ron and Hermione, working only three nights a week, and spent the rest of his time relearning magic with Remus or looking after Hermione.
Hermione was back training as a Healer. Harry learnt her routine early on and made sure he was around when he thought she might need him but gave her space when she just needed to 'centre' as she called it. And she seemed to do the same - respecting the times that he needed to be alone as much as the times when he enjoyed her company. In the two months living under the same roof, they both accepted each others differences and needs easily and without conflict.
Harry was content. He and Remus were working out whether Harry had the ability to cure Hermione - a mission done in extreme secrecy - and the knowledge that he was doing something to make his friend whole helped keep his sorrow from overwhelming him.
He and Ron also spent time together, catching up and learning how to cope with the extremely different lifestyles they both led. It wasn't as easy as with Hermione, but Harry still treasured his times with his old best friend.
His return to the wizarding world went pretty much un-noticed - helped by his Muggle job and his circle of close friends. Life was good.
It seemed that the group of five friends had met fortnightly for lunch for many years, using the time to catch up on news that they may have somehow missed. Harry was soon included in the tradition, but was often the observer at the now familiar café, letting his friends participate in a complex communication ritual where many spoke, often at once, on totally different subjects only to find that all had understood all - somehow.
This particular Sunday, Harry and Hermione joined Neville and Ginny and chatted as they patiently waited for Ron and Luna (who were almost always late). On their arrival, food orders were made and once again Harry just sat back and watched the interactions of his friends.
They were all so easy with each other, the bond that had formed when they were kids making the connection between them all relaxed and intuitive. A pang of sadness hit him as he realised that his five years away had deprived him of this closeness with his friends, how much he had missed and that he still had a long way to go to get the connection that they all had, back.
"Harry?" Hermione's voice broke him out of his reverie, "are you okay?" He turned to her and smiled, aware that the conversation had died and all were listening for his reply.
"I'm fine," he said, "just thinking how much I missed you guys and its good to be back." Hermione seemed satisfied with his answer, as did everyone else though the appearance of the food meant that no-one commented any further.
As the plates were taken away and coffee orders were made, both Ginny and Ron began to speak.
"We've got news," they chorused before looking at each other with confusion.
"You first," they both said, smiling at their unscripted duet while the rest of the table began to chuckle.
"No, you!" they again chorused.
"Will just one of you speak, please," Hermione laughed, "ladies first."
"Well," Ginny spoke, still smiling, "Neville and I are getting married!"
The table broke into spontaneous applause and congratulations were said to the happy couple, Ginny waiting until everyone sat back down before she continued.
"Neville asked me on Friday…"
"But we thought today would be the best time to tell you all in one go…"
"Mum and dad know already and we've begun sorting things out…"
"When are you going to have the ceremony?" Hermione asked, her face beaming with joy.
"Well, we thought around August," Neville replied, his own face matching Hermione's in happiness, "at The Burrow…"
"And of course you and Luna will be my bridesmaids…" Ginny piped in.
"And Ron and Harry, it would be brilliant if you'd be my groomsmen." The table went silent. Harry was stunned - Neville wanted him as an attendant?
"Oh, Ginny," Hermione ventured hesitantly, "I'm not sure if that's such a good idea. I'm honoured, I really am, but I don't know how well I'll be in five months…"
"Even if all you do is sit in a chair next to me as I say my vows, I want you there." The two women exchanged looks while the others watched, Harry still confused that he had been included in the wedding party.
"Okay. Thank you Ginny, I would love to be included."
"And I'm in too," Ron said with his usual enthusiasm, "it would be good to see you finally make an honest woman of my sister." Neville and Ron stood to shake hands, sealing his acceptance.
"Harry?" Ginny asked, as all eyes turned to him.
"Are you sure Neville," Harry asked, frowning, "I mean, I haven't been around the last five years. I'll understand if you have other friends that you're closer too…"
"Harry," Neville interrupted, "you taught me how to be a man, gave me the courage to stand up for myself and believe in my abilities as a wizard…"
"You did all that yourself…"
"I wouldn't have even tried if you hadn't been around. Please, agree to be standing by me at one of the most important days of my life."
Harry debated further in his mind about whether he should or not. Everyone remained silent as they waited for an answer, but it wasn't until he caught Hermione's eye and she gave him the smallest of smiles that he realised what he should do.
"Thank you Neville," he said finally, "I am honoured and would gladly stand at your side. I must say, you're a lucky man." Neville smiled and again stood, taking Harry's hand in a firm handshake. The table clapped again, and Ron gave Harry a hardy slap on the back indicating his pleasure.
"What about you Luna," Ginny asked as she took a sip from her coffee, "will you join in the fun?"
"I'm also honoured," Luna replied, taking hold of Ron's hand as they exchanged glances, "but I may not fit into any bridesmaid dresses…"
"What? Why?"
"You're pregnant!" Hermione answered Ginny question and squealed when Luna nodded. The three women got up and began hugging while the men congratulated Ron, who kept seated but was smiling broadly.
Harry was overwhelmed. A wedding and a baby - who would've thought? Just over two months ago, he had been more or less alone, on the other side of the world, worried if the people of his past would welcome him back. A resounding 'yes' would be the answer to that question.
"Oh, I'm so jealous," Hermione exclaimed as she sat back down, drawing Harry out of his thoughts, "of both of you! When are you due Luna?"
"The beginning of September. We're three months along."
"September! Well, I've got something to live for now! A wedding and a baby - I can't believe it!"
"Hermione, you have always got something to live for," Ginny admonished.
"I do, I do," Hermione replied, "but I missed Ron and Luna's wedding, and Lenny was born when I was still blind. I'd like to be there this time."
"So would I," Harry put in as the table lapsed into an awkward silence, "and I must admit that I'm also jealous as hell."
"You want a family?" Ginny asked, looking intensely curious - Harry frowned.
"Yes he does and I've told him that he won't find a wife stuck in the flat looking after me," Hermione said, ignoring Harry and instead looking at Ginny with a sly smile, "but he won't go out and look!"
The two women included Luna in their conversation without words and soon a smile that matched Hermione's crossed her face. Harry watched them, still frowning, and shared a look of his own with the other men at the table - who just grinned inanely back.
"Hermione, Ginny, I need some help," Luna said suddenly, "would you mind coming to the ladies room with me?" The three women got up immediately and left the table - with a confused Harry watching them go.
"What was all that about?" he asked Ron and Neville.
"That, my friend, was you being in serious trouble," Ron answered with a grin.
"What do you mean?"
"I think they are out to find you a wife," Neville chuckled.
"What!"
"Yep," Ron laughed, "be afraid Harry, be very afraid."
"But I don't want a wife," Harry continued, "I don't need them to find me a wife, I already know…"
Harry didn't finish the sentence, aware that he nearly exposed something that he was desperately trying to keep to himself.
"Know what Harry?" Ron asked, suddenly serious, "you already have someone in mind?" Harry looked at his friend and realised that Ron already knew that Harry had feelings for Hermione - but he wasn't quite ready to confirm that information to Ron just yet.
"No, I guess not," Harry said quietly, not taking his eyes from Ron's, "but I don't want…"
"Did you miss us," Ginny interrupted unintentionally as she and the other women returned to the table - all smiling.
"What are you guys up to," Ron ventured, trying to be serious but as far as Harry was concerned, not pulling it off.
"Up to? Us? Nothing," Luna replied to her husband, trying to look innocent.
"Blimey, look at the time," Ginny said abruptly, standing and putting on her coat, "Neville, I think we should leave."
"Us too," Luna said, also standing and grabbing her bag, "come on Ronald." Harry watched with a continuation of his frown as the two men shrugged and rose to leave while Hermione remained seated with a contented little smile on her face. Money for the bill was exchanged, good-byes were said and soon it was only the two of them sitting at the table.
"Please don't set me up," Harry said after a moment, "Hermione, promise me you won't set me up." Hermione looked at him, her smile faltering.
"Why?" she asked, "Harry, you've said yourself that having a family of your own is the most important thing to you. Well, to have a family, you need a wife. And to have a wife, you first need a girlfriend. Which means you need to find a girl."
"Look, that's all well and good, but I have heaps of time to find my own potential wife…"
"But I don't."
They looked at each other and Harry could see the determination in her face. She wanted to see him settled before she died, to see him happy and in love with another woman. Trouble was, he didn't want another woman - he wanted her. Closing his eyes and taking a deep breath, he tried to hide the mixture of longing and sadness he was feeling, only opening his eyes when he felt he had it all under control.
"Harry, you deserve to be happy," she continued, "let us - let me - do this for you."
"I'm happy how I am. I have everything I need in my life with you." The words came out before he could stop them, making him realise that he didn't have things as under control as he thought. His heart stopped beating as he watched anxiously for her response.
"I can't give you what you need," she said hesitantly.
"I think you can…"
"No," she said with more force, "I can't give you a family! Bloody hell Harry, I can't even give you a year of a relationship! You deserve so much more than me. You deserve a future with someone you love. And someone who loves you back."
Her words struck him with a deafening blow - she didn't love him. He had prepared himself for this moment, the moment when he found out his feelings weren't and wouldn't be returned. Determined not to loose her friendship, he fought away the sensation of his heart breaking into millions of pieces and looked at her steadily in the eye.
"Okay," he said softly, "lets say I do this. Whomever this girl is, we go out and check the waters. No hard feelings if it doesn't work out?"
"No hard feelings." Harry smiled ever so slightly at her reply, noticing that her attempt at a smile never reached her eyes.
"Are we still good Hermione?" he asked tentatively, "because I don't want things to be awkward between us. You will always make me happy no matter what our relationship is…"
"I'm sorry…"
"What for?"
"For not being there for you." They continued to look at each other in silence until Harry gently reached out across the table and took her hands in his.
"You have always been there for me," he said, "if not physically, at least in my mind. And you always will be. You are my best friend, Hermione, always have been and always will be. You and I, we know each other, we know what the other is thinking or feeling without really having to explain. We've faced death together and survived so many times that it's scary. You have stuck by me when I didn't deserve it, you've been there when I've needed you most.
"Yet I've let you down and it seems I'm still doing that. I'm sorry. I don't want you to feel uncomfortable around me because of this. Promise me you won't feel uncomfortable around me."
Hermione was silent, staring down at their hands as Harry waited for her to get her thoughts together, hoping like hell he hadn't ruined things once again.
"You were gone for so long," she finally whispered, "and I got sicker and sicker. One of the reasons I accepted that I wasn't going to be around for much longer was that when I died I would see you again." She looked up at him before she continued.
"You were dead to me Harry, I had shut you out of my heart as well as my thoughts. But now you're back and we have slipped back into the relationship we had before the Final Battle so easily. These past months have been some of the happiest times in my life."
"Same here…" he started before she interrupted with a frown.
"But I'm dying and I haven't got anything to give to anyone - I just don't have the energy. Harry, you need to understand - I have nothing to give. I felt something for you once but have spent five years forgetting what that was. And now any choice of a future with you or anyone else has been taken away. I don't think I'll see another year in and I want to enjoy the time I have left. I would really appreciate that you be just the best friend that you can be, that you have been, because I can't keep feeling guilty that I'm holding you back, or that I should be giving you more. I just can't."
"I can do that," Harry said just as quietly, "and I don't want you to ever feel guilty over me, because then I would start feeling guilty about you feeling guilty and then, well, it would just be one big mess."
Hermione smiled and let out a little chuckle, which in turn made Harry smile.
"Okay, no guilt," she laughed, "just two best friends, guilt free and happy - right?"
"Right."
His confirmation signalled that the conversation was over and though things had changed between them, they also stayed the same. As Harry opened the door for Hermione as they exited the café, he mentally began working out a timetable in his brain that he would discuss with Remus the next time they met, a new determination making his thought processes succinct and formulated. He had to make sure she would be alright for Ginny and Neville's wedding, which then would mean she would be alright for the birth of Ron and Luna's second child. And if it all actually worked and he survived, well then maybe - just maybe - she'd give them a chance.