A Dinner with the Potter's
Bang!
Slam!
"Why the hell didn't you tell me?" screamed an infuriated Lily Evans as she barged forcefully into her parents bedroom once they had been showed to their rooms. Elizabeth and Richard Evans jumped in shock as they turned from their suitcases that they were bending over and unpacking, and gazed at their fuming daughter reproachfully.
"Lillian!" scolded Elizabeth, glancing at her husband fleetingly. "What on earth do you think you're doing?"
"I want to know why neither of you ever told me where we were going," said Lily in a low tone. "Why, of all houses to visit, did we have to damn well come here?" she asked angrily.
Both Elizabeth and Richard stood up immediately and shot extremely dangerous looks at Lily.
"Lily! How dare you burst into our private quarters and then begin blaspheming in the presence of the Lord," reprimanded Richard. "You best have a very good reason for damning the house of our hosts, so help you God, Lillian Elizabeth Evans!"
Lily opened her mouth to retaliate, but closed it again and took a deep breath, as the look on both her parents faces told her that maybe an apology would suffice.
Richard's expression became softer as he took her hand and led her over to the bed for her to sit down. Elizabeth shook her head at Lily and her use of language that had always been taboo under their roof.
"Lily, what is this all about?" Richard questioned as his wife listened from their suit cases while she continued to unpack them.
"It's just…" Lily paused for a second. She hadn't ever really mentioned James Potter and his friends to them before and doubted whether they would take much notice. "Well, you see, Pot- I mean James and his friends have always been…well…my least favourite people at school. James has some fascination with pulling pranks on me and just generally annoying me constantly, everyday, by asking me out and hitting on me," she said and looked at her parents expressions which were mildly amused. "And the thing is, he doesn't even like me! He just does it for pleasure at my expense…he hates me, that's why he does it, and I hate him!" she ranted, her voice growing louder in frustration at the looks on her parents faces.
This was NOT an amusing situation!
"Oh come now, dear, you can't hate him…hate is a very strong word," her mother said in a voice that told Lily her mother thought she was over reacting. Lily stared at her incredulously and opened her mouth, but- "And I'm sure that he doesn't hate you" she added sternly.
"Oh really? Well then why does he insist on making my life hell at school?" she screamed in frustration. Her mothers face hardened and she stared at her daughter in disbelief.
"Lily, you have been told once, you shall not be told again; do-not-denounce-our-Holy-Father-into-damnation! I will not have it! You were brought up to be better than that!" Elizabeth said icily.
Lily's face fell and she, as she always did, had the dignity to look and feel guilty.
'Damn their religious beliefs!' she heard an evil voice whisper in the back of her mind.
"I'm sorry; I didn't mean…it's just that…oh, mum I really don't think I can put up with James and his little friends over the next week! Well, Remus is OK, he's nice, kind and sweet, but the other three- urgh!" she growled in disgust.
Elizabeth's eyes rose considerably high and she went over and knelt down by her daughter.
"Ohhh, and which one was Remus again?" she asked with an air of an all to interested mother in her daughters love life. "Is he the lad with blond coloured hair?" she asked and Lily just smiled.
"Yes, that's him…" Lily sighed. This was not where she intended for the conversation to go.
"Oh, I see…and the other two taller ones…James and Sirius is it? Well…they're all very handsome, dear…why don't you-" Elizabeth began, and just as Lily went to cut her off, Richard beat her too it.
"Elizabeth, don't you dare attempt to lure our daughter into a relationship…I think she's quite right…none of them suit her…she wants to stay single until she finds the right man, don't you honey?" he said as more of an order than a question. Before she could answer he carried on. "Yes, of course you do. Now, let's get ready for dinner, I'm quite positively famished! Aren't you, dear?" he asked his wife and she rolled her eyes.
Richard never liked the idea of his little princess daughter being fooled around with by an unworthy man.
He just absolutely wouldn't have it!
"Yes dear," Elizabeth said and stood up, smoothing out her dress. "Well, you should return to your room, sweetie. Go and get ready…dinner is in an hour." She said and turned to her case to finish unpacking and getting changed.
"Fine," said Lily and got up and left without another word.
As she made her way to the room she would be staying in, she saw someone at the end of the long corridor just sitting up against the wall. Getting closer she noticed that it was a male figure and this further increased her curiosity and dread…what if it was-
"Hey Evans," greeted James, a calm smile on his face.
Lily glared at him. "What do you want, Potter?" she said coldly. "If you've come to ask me out, play some kind of sad little prank or just in some way annoy me then you're looking for a slap," she said, her voice dripping in the deepest loathing.
James stood up and held up his hands in defence.
"Woah!" he said taken aback. "I was only- oh forget it," he concluded, looking hurt and began walking off until Lily's exasperated voice called him back.
"Oh for the love of- what did you want, Potter?" she asked him more sincerely this time. He turned around and stared at her.
For a few seconds she found herself just gazing back at him, into his deep hazel eyes, and found herself thinking how beautiful they were - how one could just get lost in them…
Their connection broke as James' expression turned into a frown and he sighed.
"Evans," he muttered, "I-I just wanted to let you know, though I doubt it makes any difference," he paused and ran his hand through his hair. "Well, OK, I just wanted you to know that I-I don't hate you…" he said drifting off into a lame ending.
Lily looked taken aback for a second and then blinked.
"Oh, OK…is that all?" she asked trying to find the right words in response yet finding none.
James sighed hopelessly and turned around again and walked off, calling over his shoulder, "Dinner's in forty-five minutes," shortly and turning the corner, heading for his own room.
'Well, now…that was surreal,' Lily thought to herself and shivered as though an unknown presence had passed through her confused body. Shrugging off what had just happened she opened the door to her bedroom and prepared herself for the evening meal - and James-sodding-Potter and his over-rated, annoying, pathetic, stupid, arrogant, conceited, tall, dark, hand-
Lily paused and screamed loudly in frustration and disgust at the thought that nearly pierced her Potter-pierced, plague-free, and currently, pissed off little mind.
'Ohhh…stupid-idiot,' she forced the door open and entered. As she went to close the door it caught on her dress. "Oh for the love of Merlin! Get-off…OFF!" she continued to struggle angrily with her dress as it tangled further into the door handle. "Oh for fu- ARGHHH-"
SLAM!
And then he dress tore at the seam-
"Fuck it!"
*Later that evening at Dinner*
Once everyone had arrived in the dining hall that evening they were greeted by an array of appetising and enticing smells and colours. The long, glossy, rich oak table stood proudly in the centre of an enormous room with tall leaded windows, beautifully toned deep maroon curtains and a twenty foot high arched ceiling.
The oak table had not yet been filled with the evening's meal, however there were gleaming golden plates, cutlery and crystal goblets laden upon its surface. Just the beauty of the tableware would seem appetising - but, of course, eating the solid gold plates would just be silly.
"Oh, my…gracious, Victoria, this room truly is wonderful!" gushed Elizabeth Evans as she gazed adoringly at the cavernous room she sat in, especially taking in the large golden chandelier hanging directly above them; it's Everlasting Candles glimmering brightly, the beaded diamonds dangling gently in intricate weaves and braids.
"Oh, why thank you, Elizabeth," responded Victoria genially. "I must say we do try our best."
While Victoria and Elizabeth continued to chat happily about each others homes and most expensive belongings, Richard and Harold sat either side of their wives, opposite each other, talking animatedly about their Lordship status and how it shoulder not be abused…
"-and I don't agree with the idea of allowing some aristocrats being able to employ more than 50 house elves in any one household!" blathered Richard Evans making ostentatious hand gestures across the table. Harold Potter nodded in agreement fervently.
"I couldn't agree more! Some of those so-called Lords, namely the Malfoy's, even have their own zoo of highly dangerous Dark creatures! Now that, my friend is something for the higher authorities, wouldn't you think?" Harold exclaimed disgustedly. Richard nodded and threw his hands up into the air impressively.
"I know! I read about that in the paper! Of course, we non-magical folk only assumed them to be dogs, cats and very large and violent hippopotamuses of some sort, but these Dark creatures would make more sense, because as you well know, cats generally aren't that loud. I must say that our dear Lily has kept us very well informed on these types of creatures," he blabbered. "Oh, and I'm sure they keep pet snakes there too…the times myself and Elizabeth have heard them hissing during the night! Oh, the noise! I swear, Elizabeth has never slept so little lately…she is adamant that it is the serpent from the Garden of Eden that is coming to punish her for the sin she committed last week," he said a little solemnly, glancing at his wife next to him.
Harold raised an eyebrow and asked, "Oh, and what sin was that?"
"Oh, well…she doesn't like to be reminded of it…she was in quite a tiff for a few days afterwards, but-" Richard lowered his voice and leaned in closer so that only Harold could hear him. "-Well, a neighbouring Manor - Slythérhyde (Slyth-ay-er-hide) Manor - the one that belongs to those eerie folk, the Malfoy's - again - managed to have one of their possessions end up in our grounds by the front gates. It was a type of- long black staff with a silver snakes head on top. Strange thing, but we refuse to give it back to them - they've kept us up too many nights. But anyway, Elizabeth is having second thoughts…she doesn't like stealing." He finished and Harold just looked taken aback then nodded.
"I say…"
Beside Lord Richard sat his perturbed looking daughter, Lily Evans. Glaring despairingly at the golden plate in front of her, Lily was constantly shooting furtive loathing glances at the boy who say opposite her.
James Potter, sitting beside his father, Lord Harold, kept uncomfortably looking around at his friends, Sirius, Remus and Peter who were in conversation about the new Defence Against the Dark Arts professor that would be joining the Hogwarts staff the coming year. James really wasn't too bothered about joining the discussion, and it showed every time Sirius attempted to engage him in asking who it might be and whether they would be able to fool him into believing that they were who they really weren't: James as Sirius, Sirius as Remus, Remus as Peter and Peter as James.
Shaking his head, James quickly agreed and turned to face Lily who had an expression of utter disbelief on her face.
"What?" James questioned confusedly. Lily didn't approve of trying to out smart teachers, especially if they were new and didn't know any better.
"Don't you dare start playing pathetic immature tricks on new teachers, Potter! Because you know I'll only burst your sad, lonely little bubble you seem to prise so much," Lily hissed in an undertone and James just rolled his eyes.
"Well for your information, Evans, I couldn't care less what you think or do about it…besides; it's not my, 'pathetic immature trick', is it?" James countered, mimicking Lily and causing her to glare at him with the heat of a thousand hot pokers. He glanced at Sirius who was entertaining Peter by repeatedly flicking Remus on the ear, who in return, was slapping Sirius on the back of the head -hard. James rolled his eyes again and grinned slightly, turning back to face Lily who was looking at them in disgust. "It's his idea. I won't take part if it hurts your precious power trip, princess." He smirked and Lily shot hot, red-headed fiery daggers at him. James flinched slightly at the look he was receiving, and his face dropped slightly.
"You ever call me that again, Potter, and you'll be the first victim of one of my <i>real</i> power trips!" Lily snarled viciously and James' face lit up again and he snorted.
"Ohhh, aren't we a feisty one, Evans. Be sure to make it real powerful…I could use a good-" James began but before he could finish he felt an almighty pain shoot up his leg issuing from his shin. He yelped and cursed quietly. His immediate reaction was to turn to Sirius, but when he did look, Sirius was sharing one of his, '…so I said to her, "You want to see my bedroom? It has a king size bed…very bouncy too!"' tales with Remus and Peter.
At first, you would imagine that Sirius was going to describe how he bedded a poor once innocent girl, wouldn't you? Sadly, though, you would be sorely mistaken-
"…and after some heavy making out, I bounced on the bed for hours!" he would finish with a bright grin on his face. You would notice the unfortunate lack of emphasis on 'bounced', meaning that, sadly, he wasn't actually being metaphorical in this case - he actually did just bounce on the bed for hours and try and do back flips, which usually ended up in him falling off the bed and braking something valuable. It is also apparent, quite pitifully so, in his use of the noun, I that it was only he, no one else, that got any bounce time on the bed, as the girls, who would finally give in to his incessant 'just give it a go' badgering, would never actually receive a go-
"So, can I have a go now then?" one of his poor victims would ask in a tone of 'let's just get this over with'.
He would then reply, quite exhaustively after bouncing for half an hour or so, "Erm…yeah…OK…hold on…I just want to…bounce some more…help yourself to…the chocolate frogs…"
And then they would just leave him to it and storm out, but not before snatching the bowl of chocolate frogs on their way out.
After James' painful, to be said ambiguously, reminisce, he turned to Lily who wore an expression of utter loathing and disgust. Yet James could swear he saw a glint of triumphant satisfaction in her emerald eyes and this assumption triggered his response.
"What the hell was that for?!" he growled angrily, glaring at her.
"I told you, if you ever use my name in a sentence that contains suggestive profanity, relating to actions, you, me and everyone else know will never ever happen, I'll ensure you get what you deserve!" Lily replied hotly. James shrugged.
"Whatever, Evans…you know you wouldn't mind a bit of forepl- OW!"
"You really are dense aren't you? Now keep your tongue in that fat head of yours!" Lily sneered as she retracted her foot from James already battered shin. Reaching down to rub his leg and numb the pain, James opened his mouth and replied-
"Will you st-" but didn't manage to get very far as a soft, motherly voice broke his beginning rant.
"My Lord's, my Lady's, James, Sirius, Remus, Peter and Lillian-" James snorted at the use of her full name, only to receive another agonising whip to his bruised shin. "-dinner is served!" Finished Marian with a wave of her hands and a man apparated a few feet from the table dressed in an outlandish red frilly shirt with white, a little too tightly fitting, dress trousers. He had a handsome, tanned and Hispanic looking face that utterly beamed with obvious flamboyant nature.
He took a step forward and waved his hands in an exaggerated flourish and then held them out as though presenting something of great importance and spoke in an ostentatious voice that absolutely dripped in a French camp accent.
"Lord's, Lady's, boys an' girls, would you be so kind as to allow me present you with tonight's absolutely gorgeous meal cooked up by our resident house elves!" he announced and James noticed, with a small hint of jealously, Lily's face lighten up at the appearance and sound of this fresh new character.
The waiter clapped his hands in an overly colourful manner and upon the many golden plates appeared a magnificent array of colours and enticing smells.
"Tonight, my darlings, you absolutely must indulge yourselves in an appetiser of Scandinavian Cocktailed Shrimps, carefully marinated in Dill and Mint with just a pinch of Basil-" he paused and stared at the shrimps, then sighed dramatically, "-and a hint of carelessness on part of zee 'ead chef, Mariatto, 'oo seems to 'ave left out zee white wine sauce, for which 'ee shall receive a serious spanking," the table laughed heartedly but the waiter seemed quite indifferent to their reaction. He was being serious. "And then, for zee main course we 'ave a be-autiful Halibut with 'erbs and Rosemary-Lemon Butter. Then to conclude, a serving of Cloudberry Cream with Rosemary and Vanilla!" he smiled brightly and everyone ooh-ed and ah-ed appreciatively, then gave him an enthusiastic round of applause. The waiter bowed in an exaggerated fashion and blew kisses to everyone, then said on a final note, "Enjoy your meal, my Lord's and Lady's!" then with one teasing wink at Sirius, who looked positively disturbed, he clicked his fingers, disapperating with a silent 'poof'.
Elizabeth Evans smiled brightly and said more to herself than anyone in particular, "Well, this does look lovely!"
"It certainly does!" beamed Richard, "I say, Victoria, who is that wonderful man who served us so eloquently?"
"Oh, that was Carlos…lovely boy, an absolute star and a close friend of ours…a little expressive at times, but very funny otherwise." She responded, also smiling happily.
"He's also gay!" declared Sirius very unnecessarily to the entire table. James' eyes widened and he gave Sirius a swift boot in the leg to shut him up and Remus, as was the norm with Sirius, slapped him round the back of the head and shook his head incredulously. Lily just rolled her eyes and shot him a disapproving look.
"Yes, thank you for that…enlightening comment, Sirius," said Harold in a warning tone as he glanced at Sirius who looked completely unconcerned that he had just blurted something entirely unfit for the type of people they had visiting.
"Idiot!" scolded James as he nudged Sirius in the side. Sirius just stuck his tongue out and shrugged.
"Sorry Papa P!" he said innocently.
"Quite all right, Sirius…now eat up before the dinner gets cold," Harold sighed, though he had a small grin tugging at his lips. Sirius really was unaware of…well…anything and everything.
The table continued to work their way through the meal without any trouble until the plates were cleared away and they were sitting around chatting merrily, all fit to burst with delicious food.
"So, Evans, you looking forward to the rest of the week?" James asked Lily conversationally and she just glared him.
"What? You think spending time with the few people I detest more than Severus Snape for an entire week, on my own with no one worth talking to, accept Remus maybe, and a room to sleep in that could at anytime be broken into by a select few sad, even perverted no doubt, individuals is something to look forward to?" Lily enquired through gritted teeth. James shot her a reproachful look.
"Oh, come on…that's not fair, is it!" he protested, "We're not perverted! Well, Sirius is, but me and the others sure aren't…" he said frowning and Lily leapt up from her seat letting out an anguished scream and turning on her heal and marching off in a huff. Everyone jumped, startled by Lily's abrupt departure and yell. They stared after her, but only James called to her.
"Oh, Evans, come on- don't be like that…he'd probably only want to bounce on your bed anyway!" James said loudly as Lily walked through the door-
SLAM!
Everyone turned to stare at James in disbelief, utterly speechless. Sirius, however, and as ever, completely unaware to what was going on in his own little Black world that apparently contained pink fluffy pictures on the girls he had bedded, grinned and turned to James.
"Hey, you know, that bed thing doesn't sound like a bed idea!" he said grinning madly at the notion of a big bed to fool around on - by himself.
Everyone looked at him, rolled their eyes and then snapped at him in unison.
"SHUT UP, SIRIUS!"
(A/N: Just thought I'd drop in the third chapter for y'all - especially due to the wonderful reviews I received! Those reviews really made my day, especially Hermione_Crookshanks'! Very praising indeed, though I have to say the opening lines of the review scared me - I thought I was about to be reprimanded and then told to do myself a favour and leave the site…turns out I was right in a way! ;) Thanks Hermione_Crookshanks, and you yourself should keep up the absolutely amazing work on 'I'm not Neurotic! The Diary of Hermione Granger' - love it! Next chapter will be up soon! Hope you all enjoyed it! ~ Alexi Drake)