Chapter 5
*
The Well Manored Malfoy's
Atop a steeped hill side among many others of its kind, sat a large over grown house; it's blacked out windows and tall wrought iron, black serpent entwined gates standing proudly and predominantly. This overstated and slightly dismal looking entrance gave the house, which lay beyond, across the vast grounds, a certain ominous appearance. Unfortunately, it also possessed the ability to make anyone who had to pass it during day or nightly hours feel extremely tempted to end whatever life they may be leading at the time.
Yes, this house certainly had its Dark qualities … however, with its expansive grounds, eerie darkened window panes and over grown pastures, one aspect of its whole appearance baffled many whom crossed its path.
It was not the Dark spells and enchantments placed upon the enormous gates; it was not its ridiculously over-whelming and looming presence - the kind that blocked out the rising morning sun - and nor was it the vicious and ravaging screeches and roars issuing from the rear of the stately home … alas, it was one problem that surrounded the house and grounds itself and one that sort of defeated the whole 'high-security' demeanour …
"You know, after all this time, I still haven't worked it out," one of the local residents would say to a friend as they both gazed at the house before them with expressions of utmost confusion and almost comical desperation.
The friend would then grunt in disbelief, shaking and scratching his head, maybe hoping it would entice some sort of explanation to leap to mind, and then say, "I is believing it is most probably all the Darkest of shells and cocktails goin' on inside there - must be sending 'em all a bit barmy … surely anybody with sense would have been noticing …"
The first friend would then turn their head to look at the other and flash them a slightly bemused look.
"Did- did you just say, 'shells and cocktails'?" the first one would enquire.
The second would then just stand and stare at the house before glaring at it and responding, in a dazed state of mind, with, "What? You know I don't like seafood. You know it gives me terrible indigestion problems …" With that said, they would roll their eyes and say something along the lines of, "Stupid fish," and then simply walk off in the direction they neither intended to go nor where they had come from initially.
This left the first friend standing alone with a bewildered look on their face, until the point where they too, would follow in the second friends wake, muttering an incoherent, "Stupid fish? … Massive gates that don't even have any walls … and you talk about Cod-damn bloody fish - I hate fishes."
You see, this kind of abnormal behaviour was commonplace in and around a distance of 10 meters from the house's territory. It caused people to start up random conversations and apparently lose the ability to use the English language correctly.
Of course, many of these victims were not in fact 'victims' as such - most were simply stupid in their own rights and held very little capability in the art of coherent two-way conversation … so, a lot of the time, they would resort to talking to themselves and arguing with their conscience - not the brightest lights in times of darkness, one must admit, as they would often cock that one up too, and find themselves unable to even converse with their imaginary twins.
The residents of this house, however, were not stupid and nor did they feel the need for tangible solid stone walls surrounding their property. As far as they were concerned, although people had undoubtedly noticed the noticeable flaw in their security implementation, none of them were clever enough to take advantage of the non-existent walls and walk over on to their boundaries; and, likewise, anyone that was clever enough to actually notice this possibility, were generally clever enough not to cross on to the householders premises … mainly out of fear of being savaged by the hostile bestial creatures that also lived there, aside from the wizards, of course.
* * *
Two men sat in a large room. This room took the obvious appearance of a living room - its plentiful ornaments and statues all sculptured in to some of the Darkest of creatures; the favourite being the serpent, of course, yet there were other notable evil creatures that cluttered the room; such as the Banshee, a spectral ghoul that would float around aimlessly, weeping and letting out exaggerated distressed cries and sobs. Most deafening to many, and the kind of irate crying that you know is just for attention - also the kind that instantly fires you to the brink of committing murder … until you realise the unfortunate situation you're in, and end up bawling your eyes out because killing someone that is already dead isn't yet possible, so you end up resorting to suicide - ultimately returning as a Banshee yourself, ready to send someone else insane and to their deaths.
Another beast that adorned the living space was the infamous Bugglebeak Biffle, a vicious and untameable Dark animal that possessed an ability of great magnitude. It was said that if you dared to stare it in the eyes, it would instantly assume it to be an act of war, and would use it's long, sharp and very wide beak to swallow you whole within milliseconds … suffice to say it simply does not wish to fight, so it disposes of it's threat quickly.
Aside from its many gruesome looking decorative … things … and along with its silver and green painted walls, the room seemed quite habitable. One quality this room also possessed was its ability to offer you a strong impression of who the owners were: Dark figurines of evil animals obviously suggested that they were dangerous wizards and most probably followed the beliefs of purging the world of all that were not of Pure-blooded decent; the very grandiose wall hangings and pictures that one would normally associate with family paintings, family crests and such were generally of just one particular person; a blonde long-haired, snooty, beak-nosed, silver eyed, uptight, pale, pointy faced crook of a man, sporting a set of extravagant and luxurious black robes with a fine silver trim and a silver and green coat of arms on the left breast. This inevitably showed that the owner either had a fascination with green, silver and black, or that they were extremely egotistical and conceited - or maybe both.
Yes, the room was a perfect representation of who actually lived there, yet the people themselves really gave it all away … surprisingly …
The blonde haired man from the many portraits and pictures sat on a tall and grand throne-like chair that gave off the aura of aristocratic importance … or just someone with a fetish of overdramatic furniture. Facing him, there sat another man, again in a ridiculously large and over-stated chair, yet not so much as the one facing it. This man had pale skin with a slightly waxy appearance, blood red eyes, an all round pretty normal pointed nose, a long chin, sleek ebony hair that touched his waist, tied back in to a ponytail, a silver goatee that grew out in to three perfect separate curved spikes and a strange tattoo around his right eye. At about six foot five inches, he had a bulky yet toned build and his muscles could be seen poking through the material of his black and glimmering grey armoured body plates, just where the magical armour stopped and the thin fabric began on his biceps.
These two dangerous looking men sat there, lazily sipping on delicately carved black-diamond glasses. The blonde haired man's glass contained a smoking green substance, while the other man was drinking something with a deep reddish tinge to it.
The blonde haired wizard then spoke, his voice smooth and deep.
"So, Raivan, my dear old friend, what brings you here at this hour?" he asked with a smirk upon his face. "I trust everything is all right with you and your lovely wife?"
Raivan cracked his neck several times before setting down his glass and gazing at the other man with an identical smirk.
"Oh, you know, Victor, the usual …"
Victor raised an eyebrow questioningly and replied, "Oh, I see … I trust, then, that you have brought along your, uh … pets?"
"Why, Malfoy, you're not just a blonde with pretty eyes … you're really quite quick …" Raivan said, his tone very gravely and deep. Victor Malfoy just grinned maliciously, apparently not offended in the slightest.
"Quite true, Drake, but we are not here to nit-pick," he said softly, "we are here to discuss why you are here."
Raivan Drake just laughed and bowed his head shortly before saying, "But of course." he downed the remainder of the red liquid and licked up the trickle that was slowly seeping out of the corner of his mouth.
"I was ordered to stay here for a while by the Dark Lord; I have business to attend to further north. It's a Hellhound job - I'm to take my best," he said casually, though there was a hint of dread in his tone. Malfoy noticed this, however. Just as he was about to open his mouth, there was a loud, almighty howl and then a sudden succession of barking, roaring, growling and yelping.
Raivan jumped slightly and growled a little himself. "What on earth- can't you keep those damned animals quiet, Malfoy?" Raivan said roughly. Malfoy just smiled mischievously. Raivan groaned in realisation.
"You've been starving the fuckers again, haven't you?" Raivan barked accusingly, his whole posh-man attitude swiftly abandoned.
"Well you haven't been here to feed them, Drake, and you can think again if you think I'm going near the bloody things," Malfoy said calmly. "They're not mine to feed; you insist on leaving most of them here, you deal with it." He took a generous sip of his green liquor and leaned back into a more comfortable position.
Raivan grinned evilly and snorted. "You really are an arsehole, Malfoy," he laughed.
"Why thank you, Drake. And you're an insolent bastard who never seems to feed when he should do; consequently resulting in coming here to empty my supply of type 'A' liquor."
They both laughed.
"Well, as a matter of fact, Victor, I fed last night - young children shouldn't wander around by themselves at night … though I doubt that little girl will be wandering anywhere again - the afterlife, maybe, but not that little cramped alleyway." Raivan said and grinned toothily at the memory. Malfoy frowned, yet he looked rather amused at the same time.
"Ah. And- what kind of young child goes wandering down dark, cramped alleyways in the dead of night, Raivan?" Malfoy asked, sounding mildly interested.
"One that follows the sounds of her dying mothers pleas and screams, of course," said Drake very quietly, a dangerous glint in his eye.
"That is positively macabre, Drake - and ingenious at the same time - I love it," Malfoy said in the same voice. Silence then followed, until Malfoy spoke up again.
"So, Drake, tell me - how is it, that you are said to be one of the best Master Beast Tamers, yet your wife trained your best Hellhound; one of the rarest and most vicious creatures to ever walk this earth, and not you?" Malfoy jeered, smirking tauntingly.
"Don't talk about that stupid bitch in my presence, Victor, you know how much she nearly ruined me," he said forcefully. He sniffed and put on a very serious expression. "Do you understand how bloody insulting it is? She named the damn thing after her childhood teddy bear, for fuck sake!" he growled heatedly.
"Oh, and what was that?"
Raivan muttered incoherently and Malfoy leant forward a few inches.
"I'm sorry, Drake, didn't catch that …"
"The bloody thing's name is Puffles! Puffles, I tell you!" Drake shouted incessantly. Malfoy suddenly burst out into uncharacteristic laughter at the thought of one of the Darkest and most deathly creatures in the world with a name like-
"Puffles!?" he roared and continued to laugh unpleasantly.
Raivan looked absolutely scandalised.
"It's not bloody funny! I can't order it to do anything with out calling its name! Most of the fucking people I'm sent to brutally torture and kill die in fits of hysterical laughter!" he groaned in a frustrated manner. This only set Malfoy into further bouts of uncontrollable laughter, as he slowly sank to the floor.
"Stop it! Stop laughing you inconsiderate bastard! Seriously, I can't take him anywhere on a Muggle-murdering visit without people laughing in my face about it. His signature attack move has to be commanded in a certain way and only that way … I mean- I mean … she even named all of the moves things like, 'Fluffy flutter ravage' and 'Pinky pillow pounce'! It's fucking embarrassing!" At that point Malfoy, who was beginning to calm down, fell back to the floor in frenzied mirth.
Drake roared in anger and with a flash of his eyes and a swing of his fist, a large gaping chunk broke off from the throne-like arm chair he was sat on. Immediately, Victor Malfoy became quiet and sat up straight, wiping a few last tears away from his face and sporting a very serious expression, that made him look as though he had been like that all the time and not falling about laughing.
Malfoy whipped out his wand and repaired the damage, before adjusting his robes and nodding to the angry man opposite him.
"I do apologise, Drake … but it really was every bit as funny as it sounded," he said drawled.
"I'm sure it was …" was all Raivan spat in reply before standing up in a huff and marching out of the room, slamming the great black engraved doors behind him.
Victor Malfoy filled up his glass again and sniffed obnoxiously.
"How absolutely rude …"
"My, my, Victor, I never knew Vampires had such a temper," came a voice from somewhere in the room.
Victor tensed and his eyes widened. He cleared his throat before saying confidently, "Neither, my Lord, did I."
* * *
After bidding the adults goodbye, James, Sirius, Remus, Peter and Lily retreated to the Drawing room for a rest before going about their daily tasks. Lily, it would suffice to say, was not all too happy with the current arrangements and had henceforth sat at a desk to read as far from the Marauders as possible. Every now and again she would shoot furtive glances at them and roll her eyes, giving them an equal share of disgusted looks, before returning to her novel.
However, anyone paying attention to Lily would realise that, in actual fact, not a lot of reading was being accomplished, and that the pages of her book never turned, nor did her eyes move. You see, Lily, although she would never admit it to anyone, barely even herself, found it quite intimidating to be trapped in a house with four boys - well three of them at least - that were simply, well, extremely fit, fine, hot, gorgeous, handsome- well you get the general idea.
But, their unmatched 'beauty' as it were, didn't seem to out weigh their overly large heads, their unbearably cocky attitudes and their outright arrogance. Well, she thought, that's not fair; Remus is okay; he's pretty sweet at times. The others, however- oh, and Peter, he's just weird. The other two, however are neither sweet nor weird - they're simply insufferable, rude and sexy.
She winced.
Stop doing that! We've already pointed out that they're, well, not exactly ugly, but your thoughts are wicked, Lillian, they're too explicit for such a virgin mind as yours. She sighed. Why did her mothers words always have to disturb her at times like these?
Damn that woman!
Lillian, how many times have I told you! Do-not-
Yes, yes, I know, Do-not-denounce-our-Lord-into-Damnation.
Thank you, mother …
The Marauders, feeling it would be prudent to leave Lily alone for a while, decided to discuss their current dilemma: James' plan.
"Just remember," repeated Remus for the fifth time running, "don't act like a complete prick and stop trying to impress her by upsetting her, making terrible moves on her and for Merlin's sake, will you stop ruffling up your hair!" he added in frustration. James looked at him reproachfully and removed his hand from his head, which had shot up there the second he saw Lily glance over at them.
"What's wrong with it? I always do it," he said stupidly.
"What's wrong with it, Prongs, is that Lily hates it. She also hates it when you smirk at her; she finds it arrogant, and we don't want her to think that."
"Fine, okay, I won't do it anymore!" James sighed in annoyance. "Look, I know what I'm doing, okay? The best way for me to win this bet of yours, is this," he said and held up a piece of paper - not parchment. Remus sighed and covered his eyes with his hands.
Sirius, on the other hand, grinned mischievously and patted James on the back. "Ah, the old Marauder Trick, eh? You're good, Prongsie, but not that good," he said and shook his head.
James glared at him but ignored the comment. Slowly, he unfolded the paper and stared at it for a while.
"Well, if you're going to do it, bloody well do it, don't just stare at the damn thing!" Remus hissed indignantly.
Nodding, James spoke quietly, asking a question that only one could answer: "How do I, James Harold Potter, begin the first step to getting Lily Elizabeth Evans to sleep with me?"
All four of them sat in suspense as to what it would say, and surely enough, moments later, very fine script began to appear upon the piece of paper - not parchment - and they all started to read quietly to themselves.
It read: To the beholder of this tool, I shall reveal to you, James Harold Potter, the first course of action into the Seduction Secrets.
Step one: In roughly a minute, Lily Elizabeth Evans shall make way for the swimming pool to take a swim. Twenty minutes later, you will follow Lily Elizabeth Evans outside to the pool alone, unaccompanied by anybody else. Your accomplices will detour to the Quidditch Pitch to play a few games, leaving you an open opportunity to spend time with Lily Elizabeth Evans.
Remember: Use your positive attributes in order to entice Lily Elizabeth Evans. Last but not least, let action take its course.
Finally: Pretend you don't know she is there, and change outside by the pool into your swimming shorts. You must avoid looking her way until she speaks to you; when she does, do not act arrogant, do, however, seduce her - changing before her will lower her barriers, all you have to do is play 'smoothly'.
James, Sirius, Remus and Peter all looked up at the same time and instantly looked around to Lily, who sure enough, had packed away her book and was making her way out of the door, muttering something under her breath.
Remus, with heightened hearing senses, turned to the rest of them and said in disbelief, "She needs a swim … to cool off …"
Disbelief soon turned into a wide grin upon James' face.
Let the first step begin.