Author's note: I am so sorry for the long wait between updates. I have a full-time job and am working with Heaven on three stories now and that takes up a great deal of my time. I really appreciate your patience between updates and hope that you enjoy this latest chapter.
'Cause now again I've found myself
So far down, away from the sun
That shines into the darkest place
I'm so far down, away from the sun
That shines to light the way for me
To find my way back into the arms
That care about the ones like me
I'm so far down, away from the sun again
(3 Doors Down, Away From the Sun)
It had been a week since Hermione had ran out of the community center. She couldn't pinpoint exactly why she had reacted the way she had. Over the past seven days, she'd tried to come up with a million different excuses for why she'd ran out of there like the place was on fire. But, none of those excuses rang true.
If she was being honest with herself, she was attracted to Luke. It wasn't something she liked admitting. But, there it was. She was attracted to him. But, she certainly wasn't going to act on it. Letting someone get close would only set her up for heartbreak and she'd already seen far too much of that in her young life.
Thankfully, she had her work to keep her preoccupied. She managed to do quite a bit of research on her journal article. All that remained now was to write. But, every time that she sat down to write it, she thought about Luke. Given the way she'd reacted, she wouldn't be surprised if she never saw him again. Which was a good thing, Hermione kept telling herself.
In the last couple of days, the hospital was hit with a flu outbreak and Hermione had lost count of the number of patients she'd seen. In the past two days, she might have gotten about an hour of sleep.
The chief resident had finally made her go home; admonishing her and telling her that she was of no use to anyone walking about looking like a zombie. She'd protested, but it had fallen on deaf ears.
Truth be told, it would be nice to just have an evening to herself. Maybe, she'd get to work on her article after she took a nice long bath and slept for awhile. She let herself into her townhouse and Crookshanks pounced on her. Hermione picked him up and hugged him to her. She hadn't been around much for her poor cat and it was yet another thing that made her feel guilty. The cat purred contentedly in her arms and Hermione felt a genuine smile play at her lips.
She'd charmed the pet dish to refill once it was empty so she hadn't left him to fend for himself. Still, she couldn't help but feel bad about neglecting her cat.
"It's just you and me tonight," Hermione said, setting the cat back down. Of course, it was always just the two of them.
Hermione poured herself a glass of wine and then set off for the bathroom. A nice long bath was just what the doctor ordered and she was ready for the relaxation. She'd just filled the bathtub when she heard the intercom buzzing from the other room.
She sighed and turned off the water. The bath would have to wait until she got rid of whoever was calling on her.
Hermione strode quickly over to the front door and pressed the speaker button. "Yes?"
"…you have to hit the button, Ronald…."
"I am hitting the button…."
"You have to talk into it…."
"Luna, I think I know how to do this…"
"…obviously you don't because you're not speaking into it, are you?"
Hermione couldn't believe this. Ron and Luna were here? Why?
"HERMIONE!"
Hermione jumped back from the speaker as Ron screamed her name.
"Ron, you don't have to scream!" Hermione chided him. "You nearly busted my eardrum. And I'm fairly certain they heard you in New York."
"CAN WE COME UP?" Ron screamed back into the intercom.
Hermione rolled her eyes. "Yes." She pressed the button to open the front door downstairs and looked down at Crookshanks who was staring up at her.
"I so needed this right now," she said wondering what on earth they were doing here. A few minutes later, she heard a knock on her door. Hermione picked up Crookshanks and then opened the door.
Ron and Luna stood close together with Luna holding their almost two-year old daughter, Sage, in her arms. The little girl's blonde hair was peeking out from behind her red hat.
Crookshanks hissed at Ron.
"I see someone missed me," Ron said to the cat. "Hello, you devil."
"What are you doing here, Ron?" Hermione asked.
Ron shared a look with Luna before answering. "Nice to see you too, Hermione Jane. Look, Sage…that crazy, old, haggard woman is your godmother. She doesn't normally look this bad…"
Hermione glared at him. "Let's see how hot you look coming off a double shift, Ronald."
Ron shrugged. "I'm always handsome and fetching."
Luna smiled sideways at her husband. "Ronald…"
"What are you doing here?" Hermione repeated.
"Well, right now," Ron replied. "We're waiting for you to invite us in like the gracious host I'm sure you want to be…"
Hermione remembered that smart ass tone of Ron's. It always had a 50-50 chance of either amusing her or pissing her off. Right now, it was the latter.
Reluctantly, she stood back and motioned for them to come inside.
"Da!' Sage exclaimed holding out her arms for Ron. Luna handed off the little girl to her father who threw her arms around his neck and closed her eyes contentedly. Hermione couldn't help smiling at this image. It was quite surreal to see her best friend---someone who was known for goofing off and shirking responsibility---as a father. This just seemed to show her how much she had truly missed out on over the years.
"This is a really nice place, Hermione," Luna said taking off her coat. She hung it up on the coat rack and stepped further into the apartment.
"Even with the beast," Ron said referring to Crookshanks. "That cat is possessed, Hermione. When you're not here, he's plotting to take over the world."
Crookshanks promptly hissed at Ron. "See?" Ron asked. "You know it is nice to know that some things haven't changed."
Hermione sighed. "Did you come all this way to insult my cat?"
Ron shook his head. "No, I came all this way to insult you. You know that these past few years something's been missing and I can't believe I'm actually saying this, but I've missed you calling me an idiot. I've missed you telling me I have the emotional depth of a teaspoon."
Luna giggled. "He has, Hermione. Every once in awhile he'll ask me to roll my eyes and say 'Honestly, Ronald'. It's just not the same."
Despite herself, Hermione smiled. "I might have missed that, too."
Ron looked expectantly at her. "Do you have anything to eat?"
Hermione looked sheepishly at him. "I haven't really had that much of an opportunity to get to the market."
"We can do that for you," Ron offered. "I'm dying to try out some good, old-fashioned American junk food."
"Is that the real reason why you came?" Hermione asked.
Ron nodded. "Well, one of them. You know me and my stomach…"
"I'll just see what I can rustle up for you in the kitchen," Hermione started to say, but Luna beat her to the punch.
"Let me," Luna offered, handing Sage off to Ron.
"But you don't know where anything is," Hermione protested.
"I'll find my way," Luna said patting Hermione on the shoulder. "You and Ron should catch up."
Hermione just wanted to go get in the bath and be alone. Why did the two of them have to show up with Sage now? She silently sat down on the couch beside Ron, wondering what lecture he was going to throw at her now.
"So," Ron began, as his daughter curled up against him, closing her eyes.
"So," Hermione echoed.
"How've you been?"
Hermione picked up one of her throw pillows and placed it in her lap. "Busy. Very, very busy."
Ron stared back at her, studying her face as if he was trying to catch her in a lie. It made her feel very uncomfortable.
"Mum and Dad send their best," Ron continued. "And I told her that you'd be back for Christmas."
Hermione glared at him. "Why would you do that?"
"Biggest holiday of the year," Ron replied simply. "Since you've missed the past couple, I'd thought you'd make up for it with this one. And don't even give me that work rubbish because I know very well you could get off if you wanted. Work's important, but family and friends----that's what really matters."
Hermione looked away from him.
"You've cut yourself off from everyone that cares about you," Ron continued. "But you should know by now, you can't get rid of me that easily."
Tears welled up in Hermione's eyes.
"You weren't the only one who lost their best friend," Ron said quietly. "He was like a brother to me and not a day goes by that I don't think about him."
Hermione stared wordlessly down at her lap. She didn't want to talk about this. Not now. Not ever. It was way too painful.
"It wasn't your fault," Ron told her. "Hermione, he chose to leave us that night. He knew that he was the one who ultimately had to face You-Know-Who by himself. He-he thought he was protecting us. That's just the way he was. You remember that he didn't even want us to go with him after sixth year…"
Hermione shook her head. "We could have helped him, Ron. We were helping him. I left him alone that last night. I knew something was up, but I just left him. Don't you see? If I'd stayed with him that night, he'd still be---"
Ron squeezed her hand. "You can't know that, Hermione. And you can't spend the rest of your life playing what if this and what if that. It's not going to change anything and it's not going to bring him back."
Hermione didn't have anything to say to that. Logically, she knew Ron was right, but she didn't want to be logical. She couldn't help feeling guilty for her part in what had happened. She should have stayed with him and made sure he was okay. That was what she did, after all. That's what she'd done since they were 11 years old. He'd told her more than once that she was his voice of reason. But, when he'd really needed her, where was she?
Luna came back into the kitchen. "I've made some tea and there was a tin of biscuits."
"Thanks," Hermione said quietly.
Luna could sense the tension and she shared a look with her husband. "Hermione, you look like you need a nice, long bath and a good night's sleep."
Hermione couldn't argue with that. "I was about to do just that when you arrived."
"I'll set your tea by your bed," Luna offered. "You go and have a nice bath. We'll get settled in and Ron will go to the shops."
Hermione was too knackered to argue. "H-how long are you planning on staying?"
"Just a couple of days," Ron said. "I have some time off from the team. If you don't mind that is. We'd really like to stay."
Hermione did mind, but she knew Ron and Luna would not be deterred. Everyone went on and on about her stubbornness, but she couldn't hold a candle to Ronald Weasley when he really wanted something. She was going to have house guests whether she liked it or not.
"Sure," Hermione finally relented. "Um, there are fresh towels and linens in the closet by the bathroom. The guest room is the second door on the left."
Luna smiled. "Thank you, Hermione."
"You won't even know we're here," Ron said brightly.
Hermione wasn't so sure about that. She knelt down in front of her goddaughter who was nearly asleep.
"Hermy," Sage said, rubbing at her eyes.
"Hello, Sage," Hermione said giving the little girl a peck on the cheek. She really was an adorable little girl. Sage patted Hermione's arm and gave her a smile.
"She likes you," Ron said to Hermione.
"I like her too," Hermione said softly.
"Say good night to Hermy," Ron told Sage.
"Good, good," Sage said closing her eyes again and resting her head on Ron's chest.
Hermione smiled to herself. Perhaps, it wouldn't be so bad having them around for a couple of days. It would be nice to catch up with her oldest friends and get to know her little goddaughter. She just had to make sure she kept the conversation away from Harry---the elephant in the room that she didn't want to acknowledge.
"Good night," Hermione said walking out of the room.
Luna and Ron were silent for a few moments. Ron finally stood up carrying his little girl into the guest bedroom. Luna followed and a few minutes later, they'd set up their daughter's crib.
"Let's get you into your pj's, little one," Ron said setting his daughter down on the bed. Sage was half asleep as Ron dressed her in a pair of yellow pajamas. He kissed her on the forehead before setting her down in the crib. He knew he hadn't done much right with his life, but somehow he'd managed to fall in love with Luna and together they had this sweet little girl. It made everything seem right. Sage and Luna were everything in the world to him.
He wanted Hermione to find that same happiness. As if she could read his mind Luna asked him if he'd had a chance to talk to Hermione.
"A little," Ron replied. "Maybe tomorrow…"
"We'll get through to her," Luna said sitting down beside him on the bed.
Ron shook his head. "I don't know. She's always been stubborn, Luna. Now, she's turned into this
complete workaholic. It was like---"
"Like how she was before you and Harry befriended her?" Luna guessed.
Ron nodded. "Exactly like that. Now, since he's….gone…she's gone right back to how she was before. He wouldn't want her to live this way, you know?"
"We'll get through to her, Ronald."
Ron gave her a kiss. "You really think so?"
Luna smiled and cupped his face in her hands. "I know so."
Ron wished he could share her optimism. Hermione was stubborn and once she set her mind out to do something, she dug her heels in and wouldn't budge. He and Harry had kind of gotten her out of that when they were at Hogwarts. The two of them would try and get her out of the library every now and then to have a bit of fun. She would in turn remind them to do their homework and begrudgingly let them copy her notes every now and then.
Those days seemed so far away now. In many ways they were. Harry had been the glue that held their friendship together. Ron knew that had it not been for Harry, he and Hermione never would have been friends. They were too different---like oil and vinegar. Ron was glad that their relationship, as it were, didn't have much time to blossom given how different they'd been. They'd have probably ended up killing each other or at least causing severe damage. They were better off as friends, and always had been. But, could they have that friendship back? Was it possible when the very reason for it was now gone?
********
Harry pressed the button on the intercom, waiting expectantly for Hermione's voice to greet him. He'd stopped by the hospital, but they'd said she had the next couple of days off. He was taken aback because from what he knew of her now, she didn't take days off. He hoped that everything was okay and that she'd just realized that she was working herself too hard and needed a break.
He pressed the button once more and there was still no response. Perhaps she had gone on a proper holiday?
Harry sighed. Well, that was that. He'd just try back in a couple of days and see how she was doing.
"Luke?"
He turned to see her walking up the sidewalk with…
It couldn't be. Ron. Luna.
The three of them were getting closer and closer and he felt as if he couldn't speak or move even if he tried. It was almost the same jolt to his system he'd had when he'd first seen Hermione after all these years. All these months of imagining what her life was like and what she'd been doing and if she'd started a family or started the career she'd always wanted. Now, those same questions came into his mind. Of course, he knew what the papers had said about Ron, but it certainly wasn't the same as seeing his best friend alive and in person.
"Luke?" Hermione asked again when she reached him. "What---what on earth are you doing here?"
Ron and Luna exchanged a look, wondering who this stranger was and why he didn't seen to be able to speak.
"Ron," Harry finally managed to say.
Ron smiled warily at him. "Yeah, that's me. I don't believe we've met though. "
"We-we haven't," Harry stammered. "I've just heard a lot about you."
Ron puffed his chest out. "Yes, well, I am the best athlete to ever get on a broom and yes I am more handsome in person than the pictures show."
"And he has an ego the size of a football field," Hermione said rolling her eyes. "Ron, Luna…this is Luke Reilly. He's a patient."
"Former patient," Harry corrected, suddenly remembering the part he had to play. He hadn't counted on seeing Ron and Luna, but perhaps they could help him with Hermione. As long as he didn't give himself away, this could work.
"Former patient," Hermione said smiling shyly at him.
"Nice to meet you, Luke," Luna said extending her hand.
Harry shook it and smiled at her. She hadn't changed much and he could tell just how happy she was just by looking at her.
"And this little angel is our daughter, Sage," Ron said lifting the little girl out of her pram.
Harry smiled at the little girl. She was as pretty as Luna, but she had her father's mischievous eyes.
"Um, why don't you two go ahead upstairs with Sage?" Hermione asked. "I'll be up in a minute."
"Are you sure?" Ron asked casting a look in the stranger's direction.
Hermione nodded. "I'll be fine, Dad."
Luna and Ron took their daughter inside, leaving Harry and Hermione alone. For awhile, neither of them spoke.
"I'm sorry for running off like I did---" Hermione began at the same time that Harry said, "I'm sorry for showing up like this---"
Hermione blushed. "Sorry---you go ahead."
He shook his head. "No, you go first."
Hermione ran a hand through her hair. "Um, well, I guess I just got a little freaked out the other day. It was nothing you did. It was me. I'm really not that great in situations like that. See, the thing is that I usually keep to myself."
He wanted badly to tell her that she didn't need to do that. There were people around her that cared about her and wanted to see her happy. But, he wasn't about to make things worse.
"It's okay," he said instead. "I was just worried that I might have done something wrong…"
Hermione shook her head. "No, it wasn't you. It's me." He looked at her wanting badly to tell her
that she had no reason to feel guilty about his "death". But, he didn't dare utter those words. She'd
never understand. The truth was he wasn't so sure he understood.
"What brings you by, Luke?"
"I've been thinking about you," Harry replied.
"Me?"
"Yes, you," Harry said with a grin. "And I was wondering if perhaps you'd be free to go out to dinner some evening?"
"Dinner?" Hermione asked. He could already see her wracking her brain for some excuse.
"Yes," Harry said. "The meal that comes after lunch. I'm quite fond of it myself."
"I-I don't know," Hermione stammered. "My---my friends are here and I wouldn't be a very good host if---"
"I'm sure they could spare you for a night," Harry interjected. He grinned at her. "Come on. If dinner's not good for you, we could try another lunch. Or breakfast. Or even a late-afternoon snack."
Despite herself, Hermione found herself smiling back at him. "Okay, dinner would be fine."
"Fantastic," Harry said resisting the urge to pump his fist in triumph. "Shall we say, seven tomorrow night?"
Hermione nodded. "Seven would be nice."
"I'll pick you up here," Harry said giving her hand a squeeze.
"Okay," Hermione said blushing. "Um, well, I'd better get inside."
Harry reluctantly let go of her hand. "I promise not to feed you peanut butter and jelly sandwiches---"
Hermione smiled at him before heading inside.
Once he was sure he was alone, Harry did pump his fist in triumph. But then it slowly dawned on him what he was doing. He was---he was going out on a date with his best friend.
What the hell have I done?