Hopelessly Addicted
Chapter 4
"Love and Peace or Else"
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This mood of yours is temporary
It seems worth the wait to see you smile again
Out of the corner of your eye
Won't be the only way you're looking at me then…
Dashboard Confessional, "Again It Goes Unnoticed"
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Alain drank his coffee in silence, pensively staring at the stove. Lily had arrived home late last night, and was now getting some well-deserved rest. Even on weekends, he had never seen her sleep this late, but he supposed that it was only natural. The poor girl had slept only a few hours per night for several weeks, and she had today finally managed to stay in bed long after noon.
That job of hers was destroying her life. Every day, Alain had to stop himself from asking her to quit-how could Lily not notice how damaging it was? The constant stress combined with the risks to which she was daily exposed would inevitably lead to tragic consequences. She would soon begin to suffer serious physical consequences from the fatigue, in addition to the psychological unbalances he had noticed since her first day at the new position.
He worried about her, he really did. Alain was quite aware of the fact that Lily didn't think she needed to be taken care of, and he had to be tactful when expressing his concerns, but the situation was getting unbearable! He kept reminding herself that one day she would change back into her normal self, but well over a month had gone by already. The conclusion was evident: working in London would keep her in this awful state until she returned to her French job.
Naturally, his family hadn't been helping matters at all. They continued to pressure him to leave Lily, convinced that she would be unfit to perform her social duties as part of their clan. As much as Alain hated to think of his girlfriend in that way, he couldn't help but admit that his mother was at least partly correct in her criticisms. Lily had never seemed overly enthusiastic about behaving in the way he expected her to, but nowadays she did not even attempt to act in the expected way. Her excuses were legitimate-lack of time, lack of disposition-, but he sensed that there was a deeper issue behind her rebuffs.
The worst of it was that she not only refused to be a part of his life, but also didn't allow him to participate in hers in the least. He didn't know what she did in London when she stayed there until three or four in the morning. He had no idea what her work was like. Lily didn't even speak French at home these days-that is, when she wasn't ignoring his feeble attempts at conversation. She hadn't even given him as much as a proper kiss in weeks!
A quick knock startled him. His girlfriend didn't receive visitors very often, let alone unexpected ones. On the other hand, Death Eaters and dodgy characters, especially wizards, were unlikely to knock. He walked to the door and opened it a little.
A tall man with black hair and glasses smiled at him. "Hello," he said amiably, "I'm James Potter, a colleague of Lily's. May I come in?"
The British Auror's arrival startled Alain. A sneaking suspicion that this Potter had come to drag Lily to work on a Sunday afternoon began forming in the back of his mind, and he frowned while standing back to allow James inside the apartment.
"Alain Delacour. Nice to meet you."
They shook hands, and Alain took advantage of the moment to observe the visitor with more attention. James Potter walked with poise and had a resolute air about him that inspired confidence. Even though his clothes had been obviously put on in a hurry, he was groomed tidily enough-with the exception of his exasperatingly disarranged hair.
"I'm sorry I didn't send any warning that I was coming," James said. "I didn't know the code to the thing downstairs, so I just Apparated here."
He seemed, Alain thought with some amusement, quite English and at the same time not so in the least. This man was both disorganised and playful at times. Unlike Alastor Moody and Frank Longbottom, he did not resemble the stereotypical British Auror.
Did this man work with Lily on a daily basis? What did he think of her? Alain wanted to know how she behaved in London, but he wouldn't dream of asking a complete stranger for such intimate information.
"It's quite all right, Mr. Potter," Alain replied with distant politeness. "I'm afraid that she's resting at the moment. I can pass on a message later, if you'd like."
"Oh." James frowned. "I'm sorry. I'm going to have to wake her-it's rather urgent."
Alain's body stiffened visibly. He stared at James with the most intense yet distant glare he could muster. "If you work with Lily, you know that she's been working herself to exhaustion every day for weeks. It's the first time I've seen her rest in a while, and you simply cannot disturb her."
He seemed puzzled-either that or he assumed that playing dumb was the best course of action. "Why not?"
"It's Sunday," Alain retorted with deliberate coolness. "People aren't supposed to work on Sundays."
James was torn between wondering whether the Frenchman was obtuse or barking mad. "Do you honestly believe that Death Eaters respect silly things like Aurors' days off? Really, Mr. Delacour, I'm on a somewhat tight schedule here. I do need to talk to your girlfriend."
"Well, you might as well try solving whatever this problem is by yourself," Alain concluded in a tone that permitted no further discussion. "She's unavailable."
Unfortunately, James was more stubborn than he. "If you'll excuse me," he said, ignoring what the other man had just said and walking in what he assumed to be the direction to Lily's room. Alain couldn't bring himself to do something as childish as trying to block his passage, but he simply glowered after the guy, looking sullen.
What a positively unnerving man this James Potter was! It was little wonder that Lily was so overworked, if all her co-workers were this obsessive and tiresome.
For a moment, Alain wondered whether Lily and her colleague got along well. That was an idiotic question, he knew; she always at least appeared to be good friends with everyone she worked with. She was far too sociable to provoke any office tensions, even with such an exasperating Englishman. How could she manage it?
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I see you in my memory, as vivid as today
And I wonder, do you see me in that same, familiar way? (…)
Wasn't it true? Do you remember like I do, or is it all tainted in your view?
Could I be just a dream or two away from you?
The Corrs, "Remember"
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James was wearing a pink rabbit costume. It didn't suit him in the least, and it was a rather disturbing sight. Lily stared at him for a long time before she burst out laughing. The situation became even more bizarre when she realised that he, in fact, had no idea that something was wrong. He simply sat on a chair and chatted with her, somehow behaving at the same time as a harmless furry toy and as the work colleague with whom she was so familiar.
His appearance was glaringly uncharacteristic, and no mission, however important, could have convinced him to expose himself to this ridiculous a situation. She tried to warn him repeated times, but he just smiled and kept talking.
Out of the blue, he reached for his long right ear and started slapping her face with it. Befuddled, Lily didn't react for several seconds. The damned thing was surprisingly firm, but also ticklish-it was torture. She winced and kept her eyes shut, blindly trying to grab him.
"Stop. Stop, damn it!" she yelled, kicking him away. "I said stop!"
"I can't!" he replied, pulling back for a brief interval. "Come on, now. Get up, Lily."
She shielded her eyes with one of her arms and once more reached up to grab his ears with the other hand. "Why are you wearing that stupid bunny suit?" she growled. For some reason, however, the ears seemed to have disappeared. All her fingers managed to grasp were a few strands of his regular messy hair.
"Bunny suit?" James echoed, clearly amused.
She opened her eyes at once and looked around the room. James was wearing plain Muggle clothes; there was nothing out of the ordinary. Lily groaned. "Bloody hell," she mumbled, pulling the covers more tightly around her. "You won't leave me alone, even when I'm asleep!"
"I was tickling your ear," he admitted, "but I had to talk to you. If I recall correctly, that is the easiest way to wake you up."
"Sit," Lily commanded, burying her head in her pillow and hugging it. She wasn't used to sleeping this much, and it was probably the reason for her current slow thinking. Her mind was only now catching up with the world around her: what was James doing in her apartment anyway? He never did anything but send owls, however pressing the problem was.
Meanwhile, James made some room on the far corner of the mattress and sat. "So," he began, "I take it you still haven't looked at the instructions you received this morning." She looked in the direction where he was pointing; sure enough, a large manila envelope was on her nightstand. "I'll break it down for you: the French Minister's decided to visit London despite his staff's complaints, and we're in charge of organising everything."
"How… lovely," she yawned. "And why is that urgent?"
He rolled his eyes. "It's not. But, as you can guess, this puts an immense amount of pressure on our work schedule this week. We need to get started as soon as we can, so we're not caught off guard on Friday."
Lily nodded, massaging her temples. "How long have I slept? I feel retarded."
"It's a little past two."
Her eyes widened in horror, and she shrieked, "You mean in the afternoon?" It was clearly an unusual occurrence, and James wondered when Lily had last slept until after noon. If her shock were anything to go by, a reasonable estimate would be at least five years ago. Merlin's beard, when had she become this scarily obsessed with routine?
"Well, you were very tired. Don't worry; I won't let you sleep in again any time soon."
She grinned. "I won't let myself, either."
James offered her his hand for support and she sat up, yawning. "How are we going to do it? How many places will he visit?"
"Actually, the Minister's open to ideas. I sent him a letter suggesting that he stay put and receive visitors, and he didn't complain. I was thinking of renting a house; it'll make our job much easier."
"How lovely! You've never worked with the man, but let me tell you-that's rare. He's probably terrified of going to Britain. People here tend to think that people are always murdered whenever they dare leave home in London."
He made a face. "Some people there think so, too. Dumbledore always says that that's Voldemort's greatest achievement. It's sad, really."
"Have you started looking for a place?"
"Yeah. There's this house over at Godric's Hollow-I thought we could check it out first," James grinned, "for obvious reasons."
She rolled her eyes. They had both read Quidditch Through the Ages several times: the Golden Snitch had been invented in that little village. "I see you haven't outgrown your Quidditch obsession. All right, we'll go there first."
Lily stood up and walked to the bathroom. Out of habit, James let his gaze follow her. She looked good in that short nightgown, he thought with approval. He hadn't had a chance to see her in anything but formal Muggle clothes or long wizard robes in years! It was a pleasant sight, and it evoked memories he didn't bother disregarding.
Of course he remembered the teenage Lily back at Hogwarts, and how different she had become since then. She had always been an overachiever, but James, as her boyfriend, had been well acquainted with her impish and downright sadistic side. He had never thought of her as composed or detached, and it was impossible to do so now.
She returned to the room, brushing her teeth, and chose what to wear. "I have to change." Her voice was barely intelligible, and he had to make an effort to understand her words. "Would you mind?"
"Oh, please," James rolled his eyes. "There's nothing I haven't seen before."
Lily laughed and ran to the sink, covering her mouth in order not to let anything spill. "You couldn't possibly remember!" she called out. "It's been six years! I don't feel like refreshing your memory."
"Why wouldn't I? I hadn't been with anyone for that long until Julia. Ours was my first real and complex relationship, you know. It's hard to forget-both the miserable failures and the good things about it."
"Hopefully sex is in the latter category," she said with a smirk, standing directly in front of him.
"Obviously." The corners of his lips twitched in a smug grin, and he shamelessly ogled her from head to thigh. "You couldn't possibly have forgotten that, either."
"I can't say I recall much, actually," Lily replied through gritted teeth, grasping his hair and forcing him to turn his gaze to her face. He chuckled, and she remembered, too late, that treating James with physical roughness was no way to upset him. "You have to leave. Go to the living room and wait for me there. I'll be out in a minute."
"I can't. Your boyfriend's not too fond of me, I'm afraid."
Lily blinked a few times. She had thoroughly overlooked Alain's presence. What could he have thought about James' barging in as if he owned the place?
James stood up abruptly. "I'll wait for you at the office," he said, lifting her chin to look her in the eye. "Don't take too long."
He remained in that position for a moment. During those confused and bizarre seconds, Lily thought James was going to kiss her for some strange reason of his own. It wasn't beyond him to do something like that just to try to throw her off balance, and her mind raced with conjectures of what her reaction could be. It would be far too puerile to slap him, but she couldn't start an argument about it when her boyfriend was in the next room. What was that insane Marauder thinking anyway?
Her eyes betrayed her bewilderment, and James flared his nostrils, suppressing a grin. He Disapparated without saying a word, and Lily was left behind wondering what had just happened. Puzzling her was his intention, without a doubt, but why had he bothered doing so in the first place?
Staring at her reflection in the mirror while fixing her make-up, Lily realised that James had just hit on her. It was probably a mindless reflex of his, and something he enjoyed just for entertainment, but it was a disturbing fact nonetheless. He certainly expected nothing to come from it-Lily was not stupid enough to be drawn back to him.
Despite that, his doing so made Lily proud, in a way. She tied her hair in a ponytail, wondering how far she would be willing to take some playful mutual teasing. After all, there was nothing better to get one's mind off the constant stress of guarding an important visitor twenty-four hours a day.
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I pay the grocer, you fix the toaster, kiss the host goodbye
You break a window, burn the soufflé, scream the lullaby
I know nothing stays the same, but if you're willing to play the game
It's coming around again…
Carly Simon, "Coming Around Again"
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There was a polite knock on the well-polished old door. The house seemed splendidly preserved; if its ad was anything to go by, it was over a century old. Lily looked around: the garden wasn't too lavish, but the owner had obviously cared for its few plants over the years.
The owner had not placed a 'for sale' sign anywhere outside. It was always dangerous to sell old wizard homes to unsuspecting Muggles, even in an area as peaceful as this. There were bound to be unpleasant surprises, and potentially disastrous outcomes were not hard to imagine.
The door creaked open, and a plump lady peeked through the crack. After a brief exam of the visitors' faces, she said, "Hello. May I help you?"
"We were passing by and noticed that your house was for sale," Lily said, not mentioning directly that they were wizards, but stressing the implication with a slight raise of eyebrow.
Unfortunately, the lady didn't realise that fact, and was clearly frightened. "I-ah-the house has a few problems, mostly to do with-er-bad plumbing. It's rather noisy." A low, constant grunt echoed in the room behind her as if to confirm, and they identified the noise at once.
"You have a ghoul?" Lily asked with as much discretion as she could, barely concealing her delight. It was so rare to find them these days! Ghouls were completely useless and a bit of a nuisance at times, but she had never pictured inhabiting a house with none in the attic.
The old woman was visibly relieved. "I'm sorry for being cautious," she said, moving out of the way to usher the couple inside. "There are a few houses not too far away, and few wizards inhabit the area; I'm always scared that a Muggle may want to buy the house. What can I do? Frederik wails far too often, and I can't persuade him to leave!"
James smiled. "It's quite all right. Here-" he held out his hand, "I'm James Potter, and this is Lily Evans."
"Of course!" she slapped her forehead. "Where are my manners? It's lovely to meet you. I'm Arabella Figg. Can I offer you some tea?"
"No, thank you."
"Cake? Some cookies, perhaps?"
"No, really, thank you. We really just wanted to look around. We're in a bit of a hurry."
Lily was already busy inspecting some corners of the living room, testing the foundations with some handy spells. The structure wasn't in bad condition, which was excellent. She grew fonder of the house by the minute-it was just so perfect! The only thing was that unbearable cat smell. Lily had never been much of a pet person; she didn't like having to take care of them.
James had started sneezing. It took her a few seconds to remember that he was allergic to the damned animals, and wouldn't manage to stay here for long without having everything sanitised first.
"We should start, then."
Mrs. Figg proceeded to give them a long tour, showing them every room in the house, as well as presenting each of her dozens of cats. James' nose was bright red by then, and he was trying his best not to be too loud. His partner felt truly sorry for him, but it was hard not to laugh.
Lily certainly liked the house. She'd already begun making plans and analysing the best spots for protective spells and artefacts. James would have done the same, had he been able to focus on anything other than his dry, itchy throat and inability to breathe.
Arabella Figg was oblivious to the visitors' predicament, and didn't take any of the blatant hints Lily muttered from time to time. "Can we see the garden?" he blurted out at last.
Thankfully, Mrs. Figg loved the idea. "Of course! Here, let's take the long way out-you haven't seen the pantry area yet. It's wonderfully spacious! Several of my cats live there."
James groaned audibly and grasped Lily's arm for support while his body shook with suppressed coughs. She smiled at him encouragingly and said, "We're almost done." He nodded, but his gaze was miserable. At least she was sure that James wouldn't have tolerated the entire tour if he, too, hadn't loved the place.
"That's Miss Tibbles over there; I've been meaning to use her to get some new baby kittens, but I would hate for them to get used to this house. I'm just waiting for an opportunity to move out of here."
Lily would never be able to tell all the animals apart; several of them were the exact same shade and appearance, but Mrs. Figg could identify them at glance.
"That's Mr. Heckles. My dear Titus, bless his soul, gave her to me on our last anniversary. They do resemble each other! Mr. Heckles likes nothing more than to sit on the old armchair and stare at the aquarium all day."
"Mrs. Figg," Lily cut in smoothly, "would you be by any chance interested in renting this house?"
"Oh, no," the lady shook her head. "I want to sell it, so I can move to a small Muggle town near London, or maybe even in Scotland."
Lily frowned, visibly disappointed. That statement meant that all this trouble had been in vain; they weren't interested in buying the property. Neither she nor James, of course, had any use for such a place, and the French Minister's budget wouldn't accommodate such an absurd waste of money.
James' hands were shaking. He rested his forehead on Lily's shoulder, and she patted his back. "Let's get out of here," he pleaded in a strangled tone. "I-I can't do this anymore. Please."
Arabella Figg turned to look at them, and was touched by the couple's sadness. "You can't buy it?"
"No," Lily replied. "We're on a bit of a budget-it would be just a try-out, not for long. But that's all right; we'll keep looking."
After a brief internal conflict, Mrs. Figg changed her mind. "Let's make a deal. I'll rent you the house for a month. Afterwards, I'll wait for your bid before letting anyone else buy it."
Even James perked up at the offer. "Wonderful!" Lily exclaimed. "When can we move in?"
"What's-" he sneezed loudly, "the price?"
"Oh, I don't know. How does something between two and three hundred galleons sound?"
Lily frowned. The price exceeded their entire budget for the mission. Just for a change, she and James would have to take funds from their own savings accounts to cover the costs. "Two hundred would be ideal."
"Two hundred it is, then," Arabella nodded. She only then noticed James' poor state. "Are you feeling a bit under the weather, dear?"
"He's a bit allergic to cats," Lily explained. "He'll be fine once we leave. Mrs. Figg, is there any chance we can come here this week?"
"Of course! I'll be out by tomorrow. I've already made arrangements. Are you sure he will be all right?"
"Positive," she replied genially. "Thank you so much for your time! We'll stop by tomorrow afternoon-around two o'clock, say-, pay you in advance and bring all the paperwork."
"Three sounds perfect. I'll see you tomorrow, then!"
Arabella shook hands with the couple, and James hurried to the exit. When he arrived outside, he heaved what seemed to be the deepest and most satisfying sigh in his life to date. He had never inhaled oxygen-pure, odourless air-with this much gusto.
"How are you feeling?" Lily asked when she came up behind him, chuckling.
'I'm not coming back to this place until someone removes all the stale stink in the house," he growled.
"I assumed as much," she said, ruffling his hair with an amiable smile. "Hey, you survived! The rest of the work shouldn't be too hard."
He sulked. "It was terrible! You have no idea."
"I know-I was there, James."
"The Minister will never give us two hundred galleons for something like this."
"We'll see what we can arrange, and split the rest between the two of us. It won't be the first time."
"You did like the house, didn't you?" he asked, grinning. "You had this… look in your eyes! I had never imagined you as a housewife before, but I could tell you couldn't wait to fetch an apron and start cooking."
"I'll never be a housewife! But this place is adorable, isn't it? It makes you want to make tea and scones and-what was it that she said again? Oh yes, our children will love the spacious yard, and the large windows will allow me to watch them from the kitchen!"
He laughed. "Why didn't you tell her we weren't a couple?"
"I never said we were. It's just easier that way, I guess. It's not like we could tell her the real reason that we were renting it."
"Right. Shall we?" he asked, nodding forward in no particular direction. They had wandered to a reasonably hidden spot, from where it would be safe to Apparate. "There's an insane amount of work waiting for us."
"Sure. Ah, bloody hell, I forgot to ask her for the blueprint. Remind me to do that tomorrow, will you?"
"I'll try. I could make it, too. I know a few handy spells." He winked. "I was always very fond of maps, you know."
"Oh, I remember."
James tilted his head to examine the property. "We could use a Mirroring Charm there and there, coupled with a simple Reducio and a Drawing Quill. But what can we do to join it with the other side?"
Lily knew next to nothing about map-making, and James didn't expect her to contribute. "Can you take care of that, then? I think I want to get started on this tonight, at least."
"All right. I'll meet you for dinner at work."
She nodded and Disapparated. James barely noticed her absence, already absorbed in the task before him. Naturally, it would be necessary to stop by Diagon Alley to buy a Drawing Quill and several pieces of parchment. He would then have to fetch his broom and fly around the place in order to perform all the spells.
On a second thought, maybe that wouldn't be necessary. James returned to Mrs. Figg's front door and knocked.
"Oh, hello, dear," she greeted with a smile. "How are you feeling?"
"Perfectly fine, thank you," James replied, also grinning. His breathing became uneven as the terrible stench invaded his nostrils, and he hurried to say, "I wanted to ask you if you had a blueprint of this house. We're making plans and everything, see."
"Of course! Hang on a second; I'll have to find it. Come, come on in!"
"No, thank you." James desperately tried to find an excuse, but for some reason his clogged brain offered none. "I still haven't looked at this lovely garden," he finished lamely.
Arabella threw him a baffled look, but left despite her puzzlement. Moments later, she returned, holding a large roll between her hands. "Here you go. Are you sure you don't want to enter? I'll make us some tea."
"No, thank you-really. I have to get going. Lily's waiting anxiously for this."
Mrs. Figg smiled benevolently. "You two make an adorable couple! You seem to love each other very much."
James' eyebrow was about to shoot up as a reflex, but he held back. "Thank you," he beamed. "I'm a very lucky man. Now, Mrs. Figg, I do have to leave. I'm terribly sorry for not staying, but-"
"No, no, I understand. Have a good day, Mr. Potter! I'll see you tomorrow."
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I've been there before, but I will try again
Any fool, any fool knows that there's no way to win
Here we go again; she'll break my heart again
I'll play the part again, one more time…
Norah Jones & Ray Charles, "Here We Go Again"
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"There's one basic problem with this scenario," James stated after reading Lily's preliminary draft.
Their office was always messy, despite the couple's best efforts. Lily had always been extremely tidy, but it had gradually become unfeasible to keep the piles of stationary, books and owl cages under control. They'd given up a while ago; on slow days, however, she still tried to arrange everything to give the appearance of organisation. There hadn't been a slow day in over two weeks now: it was impossible to find a square foot of clear floor space.
"I know," she admitted with a sigh. "No one can enter after the barriers are established without dismantling the entire system."
James stood and, trying to avoid stepping on anything too important, walked to the nearest wall, using his wand to enlarge the blueprint on which she'd drawn her suggestions. He stared at it for a few minutes before adding some schematic arrows and signs of his own. "If we do it this way," he pointed, "we can cast the Deflecting Spells and the heaviest defence charms on these sides of the house and leave the left side apparently unprotected. We'll hope no one notices it; if somebody does, we'll have to be ready and prepare the usual traps once most people are inside. No one will expect all air access to be blocked, and the only spot available for Apparition will be heavily guarded."
"What did you write near the door?"
He grinned. "Potions-we could prepare a few cauldrons and leave them hanging on the inside right over the entrance. It's a tad medieval, I know, but it may work."
Lily laughed and approached the parchment, examining it more closely. "It will quite possibly be more of a risk to clumsy people inside than to invaders, but okay. We'll discuss that later."
"Do you think people will mind if we restrict broomstick usage?"
"Probably, but it's safer that way. Ah, and we also have to remember to call the Floo network first thing tomorrow morning. What about Muggles? Do you agree with making the place unplottable for a few days?"
"Making it unplottable may be a good idea, but many Muggles in the area know the house. They may find it strange if the place is suddenly falling apart, or under construction. We'll have to have something to prevent them from approaching-a Distracting Jinx, perhaps?"
She shrugged. "Yes, but not strong enough to affect any insane wizard who may prefer to come see the Ministry using the regular means of transport."
"There's that, too. Do you think that's a possibility?"
"You know Dumbledore's a fan of Muggle trains."
"True." James grinned. "Do you think he'll come? I miss the man sometimes. You weren't here before, but there used to be weekly Order meetings back when Voldemort wasn't so universally feared."
"Oh, what a pity! They're rather exciting. I do wish he'd schedule one soon-I'd love to see what everyone else's been up to. I can't help thinking that nobody can do much to change our current situation, but it does help my conscience to do my best."
He sighed. Lily's scepticism bothered James, and he hoped to convince her otherwise someday. How could she fight this hard against Voldemort's minions if she had no hopes of ever succeeding? "We've discussed this, and we both know you think I'm a hopelessly idealist. Now, back to Godric's Hollow. We need to take some elementary precautions to stop sounds and images of what's going on in different parts of the house from reaching unsolicited eyes and ears."
Lily tilted her head and looked at him strangely. "Why? It would be good for people to hear if someone screamed, or something of the sort."
"Oh, of course, but we'll cast surveillance charms and have projections of every room appearing in the office. We just don't want visitors overhearing confidential conversations."
"Sound-blocking spells on floors, windows, doors and walls it is, then. We'll block all the keyholes and have all the windows show empty spaces. Perhaps it would be better to control every visitor in some way? We could give them some cloak that would report any unusual movements to us."
He laughed. "I do hope the Minister doesn't invite any girls to come see him. Okay, let's do that."
"James," she said out of the blue, checking her watch. "I want to go home and grab something to eat. Maybe you could get started on the scenarios for Monday while I'm gone?"
"Okay, sure," he replied. "Actually, that's a great idea. I'm starving, now that I stop to think of it. We'll meet back here in half an hour. Is that all right?"
"Make that an hour. I still have to cook and everything, see."
"No problem." James arched an eyebrow and hesitated before adding, "Unless you want to go out and eat something."
Lily stared at him with astonishment. His wasn't an innocent invitation, and she knew it. They had never bothered spending time together outside the office; lunch hour had always been the most peaceful time of the day. "We don't eat together, James. Remember?"
"Well, I don't see why we shouldn't. We're both here, we're hungry, and there's a nice restaurant three blocks away." She caught the impish look in his eyes when he smiled and said, "That is, if you're not afraid of people thinking that we're going out again or something."
"Because of course it would be nothing like that," Lily replied, also smiling. "We're just co-workers, after all. It's normal to go out for dinner after a long day at work-not on Sundays, granted, but it's still not that outrageous."
"No, it's not outrageous."
Lily's attitude intrigued James, and he observed her carefully. Was he supposed to deduce something from her behaviour? Her demeanour was sending him several kinds of inappropriate messages, but he was aware that this was her revenge for what he had done that morning.
Could she possibly be interested in allowing their more or less professional relationship to evolve to something else altogether? The prospect was attractive, but James could already foresee many valid reasons against it. The most likely inference was that Lily was simply toying around with him.
No man enjoyed this sort of game more than he. Nevertheless, he wouldn't let her get the advantage this easily. "But, since you didn't like the suggestion," he said perkily, "I'll go to Remus' and search his refrigerator for something interesting."
Lily didn't understand his abrupt recoil, but pushed no further. "I'll see you in a bit, then," she said, waving goodbye.
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The world was on fire; no one could save me but you
Strange, what desire will make foolish people do
I never dreamed that I'd need somebody like you
I've never dreamed that I knew somebody like you…
Chris Isaaks, "Wicked Game"
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The damned woman was going to drive him crazy. James wasn't sure how Lily had done it, but she had managed to infiltrate his mind so thoroughly that even in the most inappropriate of times images of her unexpectedly popped into his head.
He hadn't seen this coming. While irritably scrubbing his torso with a sponge, he wondered what Lily could have hoped to achieve by indulging his idle flirting. James knew her well enough to notice that she had been pleased to do so, even though some of the signs had been quite subtle. The way she smiled at him right then, the mischievous gleam in her eyes, her superficial air of refusal-everything pointed in a direction he hadn't expected their relationship to take.
Before this morning, Lily had never indicated having thought of him as anything other than her annoying work colleague. Now, they seemed to see each other in an entirely different light-he did, at any rate. James had spent the last few minutes relishing old memories, and had no intention of going back to regarding Lily in a purely professional light.
Of course, the whole thing could be a mere product of James' imagination. Thinking back with some objectivity, he realised that Lily had said nothing outrageously flirtatious. It was possible that her reaction had been a mockery, made out of contempt for what he had done to her the previous morning.
James had no idea why he had almost kissed her, but she didn't seem to have reacted to the idea all that badly. Perhaps she wouldn't have objected. He hadn't had a clue at the moment, but in hindsight maybe he should've gone through with it.
James closed his eyes and let the water wash over him. Why did the possibility excite him this much? He was far more experienced nowadays, and knew that Lily's bedroom skills, however fun, had been in no way extraordinary. Oh, he knew himself well enough to identify the simple reason for this explosive attraction: she was off-limits.
Everything made sense once he thought about it. Lily had entered his life as an Auror on his team, and as such out of reach. Furthermore, she had made a point of demonstrating irritation and provoking him into losing his nerve from day one. To make matters even more complicated, she strived at the same time to appear somewhat cold and unattainable.
James had always loved to chase after difficult women. Sirius had often mocked him for it, but it was understandable-he got easily bored with simple women, or at least those who seemed less intricate. It had taken him weeks to win over Julia, for instance. Lily wouldn't be that much of a drain, in all likelihood, and the prize was bound to be worth the hassle.
Getting involved with Lily Evans meant trouble. It was a stupid thing to do. It was little wonder, really, that James was so eager not to resist temptation. Thoughts of their office life afterwards came into play at some point, he knew, but they was almost too easy to disregard. He wanted Lily, and someday he would get her. Things were that simple, as a rule, and all it took was time.
Speaking of which, he glanced at his wristwatch and nearly jumped. It was a quarter past seven, and he had arranged to meet his team at the office fifteen minutes ago. They'd go over all the plans and assign each Auror's tasks. He would spend even more time this usual with Lily this week, and there was no knowing what could happen.
James grinned at his fuzzy reflection while wrapping himself in a towel. Could he get to her before they left for Godric's Hollow? The scenario couldn't suit his plans better. He had to move soon, and fast.
.
. .
. . .
I don't know if I can take it-I'm not easy on my knees
Here's my heart; I'll let you break it
I need some release, release, release, release
We need love and peace…
U2, "Love and Peace or Else"
. . .
. .
.
James paced around Remus' living room, striding circles around the quaint brown sofa. He'd sent word to the three Marauders about an emergency meeting several minutes ago, and no one had arrived yet! Their absence didn't help his nervousness, and he considered making this decision on his own. The other three would kill him for it, of course.
"I'm here, I'm here," Moony's voice reached his ears even before his body Apparated neatly on the couch. "What's the rush? What happened?"
One of the things James loved about his friends was that no Marauder would ever ask 'is something wrong?' after receiving such a summons. Remus knew something serious had happened. Padfoot in all likelihood could guess what it was. And Wormtail-well, Peter didn't look like much, but he was often more in tune with the other three's feelings than they realised.
"I need help," James stated with a frown. He plopped down beside his friend, who then rose to make some tea. This talk was bound to need it. "I need help, Remus! Come talk to me, damn it."
"I'm listening," he called from the kitchen. "Go ahead-or do you want to see my reaction to what you're about to say?"
James couldn't help smiling. "There's that, too."
"All right. I'll be with you in a minute." He returned, drying his hands with a cloth, and sat. "Go ahead."
"I'm very, very attracted to Lily."
Remus blinked for several seconds, absorbing the news. It came as no real shock, but it was disturbing to hear James admit it out loud. This could mean two things: either Prongs was about to do something about it, or he had already done so. Neither scenario was particularly comforting; Moony sighed.
"Have you slept with her?"
"No."
"When do you plan on doing so?"
"I don't know!" James groaned, burying his face in his hands. "That's precisely the problem, see? I mean, sometimes she's professional and distant, other times we're arguing-and then, out of the blue, she starts responding when I hit on her! It's nothing intense or anything-I'm always joking around; you know me. But then all of a sudden she's smiling or smirking and it hits me that she's right there and… It's driving me nuts, and I get the impression that Lily both knows and enjoys that."
"Accio kettle," Remus muttered, "Accio tea set. And when did this flirting start? Last I heard, you two were arguing several times a week, and you weren't keen on being close to her in any way."
"I… have no idea." James frowned, thinking back. "I almost kissed her yesterday, and I only realised later how much I wanted that to happen. I honestly didn't think things would work out this way."
"What's stopping you, Prongs? Do you think she will reject you?"
The idea was highly entertaining. Remus didn't remember the last time a girl had rejected James-not without changing her mind soon afterwards, at least. In fact, he wasn't sure whether such a thing had ever happened. The man was stubborn to the point of obnoxious, and awfully determined to get precisely what he wanted.
"Not really." James shrugged. "But we're partners. We had a meeting with everyone this morning and I realised how much I value that. If anything should happen between us, it'll distract us from work. Even worse-if something went wrong, she'd leave, and I can't afford that."
"Well, maybe you should talk about it with Lily."
Prongs gaped at his friend, and out of sheer habit asked, "Do you know anything about women, Moony?"
Remus chuckled and drank a sip of tea. Neither James nor Sirius grew tired of barking the question at him when seeking his advice about girl trouble. "Not much, but I did date one or two back at Hogwarts."
"What was I thinking?" James groaned, also not for the first time. "Why do I always try to discuss this sort of thing with my only gay friend? Merlin's beard, why haven't you told me to fuck off yet?"
"Well, because men and women aren't that different," Remus repeated once more. "And because for some reason you guys seem to think I'm balanced and have good judgement."
"It's the bookish type thing," James gestured vaguely at the flat around them. "You give off that sensitive guy vibe. Plus, you like cock, so you must think like a girl on some level."
"Right." Remus rolled his eyes. "Anyway, why are you so scared of talking about this with Lily? She's probably aware of what's going on, and would like to have a say in this before you throw her against a wall any day now."
"She's going to kill me for considering being with her, that's what. And Lily will never respect me again for not having the balls to go for it anyway if I really wanted her. It's not the type of thing guys like me do, Moony."
"Actually, I only see this need for discussion because you seem unsure of your footing. I haven't seen you like this since you started out with Julia, but let me tell you-it's an interesting change."
"No, it bloody well isn't," James grunted, reaching for a cuppa. "It's annoying. I know I can persuade her, but I'm not sure I want-"
A loud Apparition noise in the kitchen interrupted him. Sirius opened the door to the living room munching on a chocolate muffin. "Pwongf!" he greeted when approaching the sofa, somehow spitting crumbs on both Remus and James.
"Swallow, Padfoot," Remus demanded warily.
He complied, and gave his friends a huge, toothy grin. "Speaking of which, I ran into that boyfriend of yours at the Ministry today," Sirius commented to Remus with visible glee. "Did you know he has to wear purple robes for work?"
"He doesn't." Remus smiled. "David just likes to, you know, to tell the world he's not afraid being different-that sort of thing."
"Ah. Right." Sirius laughed. "That's a pretty brave statement. I never thought he was that kind of guy. Now, Prongs' problem," he turned to look at the Marauder in question. "Have you and Lily shagged yet?"
James arched an eyebrow, but wasn't startled. "No."
"Why the hell not?"
"We're partners, Padfoot-and great ones at that. I'm afraid of jeopardising our professional relationship."
Sirius threw him an incredulous look. "You're joking."
"I'm not. What do you mean?"
"Moony," Padfoot announced in a mockingly emotional tone, "our boy's growing up!" He seized James' shoulders and shook him. "Prongs, you and I both know that you're just trying to convince yourself, but it won't work. Just get it over and done with, why don't you? It's not like you'll manage to put it off for long, and it will be on your mind the whole time."
"I don't know," Remus intervened. "I don't like this one bit. It may lead to more, and I'm not sure you-or Lily, for that matter-are ready for it."
"I don't want to date her, Moony," James replied dismissively. "It's just… She strives so hard to seem unattainable, and I'm so sure that she's not, that-"
Remus shook his head. "Why don't you wait a little?"
"Wait?" Sirius scoffed. "Do you think she won't notice what he's thinking about? Even if she hasn't already, which is unlikely, she will soon. Lily's not Julia! She'll use it against Prongs, and taunt him mercilessly."
"But Prongs has a point, Padfoot. They're working together, and that's far too valuable."
Sirius rolled his eyes. Before he could say anything, Peter Apparated in the far corner of the room. "I'm sorry! I couldn't get away earlier. What's going on, guys?"
"Prongs wants to get it on with Lily, and Moony thinks it's a bad idea."
"Why? Because they'll fall in love again?"
"We won't-" James began, but Sirius interrupted him.
"No, because it will affect their relationship at the office."
"Well," Peter pointed out, "they already spend hours arguing and throwing things at each other, right? Won't it be better for both if they shag instead? The two will be happier and more willing to go to work."
The other three Marauders contemplated his assertion with wonder. Wormtail had these insane insights every so often, and it always took them by surprise.
"But later," Remus reminded his friends with a grimace. "What if they continue this relationship, what then? What if it ends?"
"Good for them! Come on Moony, there's no telling how the relationship may end. Lily and Prongs can be a little unpredictable once in a blue moon."
James was mildly offended, and punched Padfoot playfully in the chest. Sirius winced and reacted accordingly. Remus stood between them before the situation got out of hand.
"We've all got to get back to work," he reminded them soberly. "Padfoot, Wormtail, go to the Ministry-James, to your office. I have to meet Dumbledore in Hogsmeade in a few minutes."
"Actually, we're not working at the office these days. Mr. Guidot, the French Minister, is visiting England soon, and we'll spend a couple of weeks stationed in the secure house hosting him. I signed the contract this afternoon."
Sirius and Peter laughed. Remus threw James an exasperated look. "Are you saying that you'll spend two weeks with Lily in the same house, twenty-four hours a day?"
James grinned. "Yeah."
"Why on earth did you bother talking to us first?" Remus asked incredulously. "Merlin, go for it. You'll go crazy if you don't."
.
. .
. . .
I guess we're back to us
So, cameraman, swing the focus
In case I lost my trail of thought
Where was it that we last left off?
(Let's pick up, pick up…)
Panic! At the Disco, "Lying is the Most Fun a Girl Can Have Without Taking Her Clothes Off"
. . .
. .
.
James Apparated to Godric's Hollow in the designated spot for arrivals and, just to be sure, glanced down to check if he still had all his limbs. Few security systems were set up, and it was always risky to venture into a property where magic was still fizzing around uncontained.
Thankfully, nothing had happened to him, but the Apparition site was a priority that had to be finished tonight. The outer side of the property would be the hardest to set up but, with everyone's dedication and focus, he hoped it would all be ready by Friday morning.
James walked to the front of the house and pushed the door open tentatively. No dangerous potions drenched him, so it was safe to assume that he could enter.
"Anyone here?" he bellowed, taking a sniff. Thankfully, there was no cat smell anywhere. No one would be able to bear James sneezing and coughing all day long, least of all himself.
There was something wrong with the heating. The temperature was several degrees above the acceptable; James supposed it had something to do with someone's Potions experiment, but made a mental note to ask his partner about it. He often had to endure freezing cold or boiling heat in his office due to Marlene's insane ideas.
Lily descended the stairs with her usual quick pace, and grinned happily at him. James surveyed her appearance with amusement: her hair was tied in an extremely messy knot; she wore an untailored short-sleeved shirt and jeans. This was hardly the Lily he had gotten used to, but the change was welcome.
"What do you think?" she asked triumphantly.
"It barely seems like the same place," he admitted. With all of Mrs. Figg's furniture gone, and the walls repainted, the house was another site altogether. For starters, he could see clearly out the windows now, instead of just a hazy image clouded in age-old dust. Naturally, the fact that he was no longer preoccupied with his lungs and throat helped a lot.
"It really doesn't! It's been fun."
"Have you been here all afternoon?"
"Well, I went shopping first, and got here soon after you'd left. I said goodbye to Mrs. Figg and everything. Oh, she gave me several tips! She also asked when our marriage would take place."
He shook his head, smiling. Only someone who hadn't spent too much time with the two of them could assume that they were a couple.
"I told her we hadn't decided yet, but that I'd be sure to send her an invitation. How was your day?"
"I went to the Ministry-and yeah, like I thought, it looks like we'll have to go to France, or ask some of their people to come here. They don't want to risk revealing all their plans via owl, and want to examine ours as well."
"Great." Lily rolled her eyes. "Which option do you prefer?"
"I'm not sure. We'll see how much of the house is ready by Thursday."
She nodded.
All of a sudden, James felt that he should tell her about his conversation with the Marauders. Maybe Remus wasn't entirely wrong to advise him to do so. "I went to Moony's after that to meet the guys."
"Oh?"
James flashed her a grin. "They're not sure what's taken us so long to, er, get involved."
Lily raised an eyebrow, surprised by the abrupt change of subject, and then laughed. So James did, in fact, want their interaction to go beyond teasing; he had even talked to his friends about it. She wasn't sure how that made her feel, but a decision was necessary and urgent.
In fact, everything depended on how she reacted now. She glanced at him, took a deep breath and thought as fast and thoroughly as she could.
Lily would have to be barking mad to sleep with James. He was irresponsible, incapable of serious commitment, heartless and, above all, already had a girlfriend, who happened to be a good friend of hers.
On the other hand, Lily was not looking for a serious relationship, either; she only wanted to have some fun. In that case, she had to remember that they worked together. That meant that whatever they had would affect their jobs and that James would keep hitting on her until he got his way.
She had to be honest with herself: the idea pleased her. Lily was more than willing to let James seduce her. Besides, he would do so with or without her permission; what was the point of resisting?
"I wonder what could have made them think that," Lily said trivially with a smirk. Her words mattered little; James glanced into her eyes and instantly got the message: she was not opposed to the idea, but it didn't mean that this would be an easy conquest.
James was fine with that. He tried not to look smug, but didn't succeed.
After a brief pause, Lily decided that it would be safer to discuss work for now. They were, after all, alone in the house, and there was no telling what James Potter could attempt if his mind was set on a defined goal. "So, we have to see what we're going to do about the Apparition spot."
James sighed. It was important to get this stuff out of the way as fast as possible, he knew, but he was in no mood to argue Strategy. Nevertheless, he replied with resignation, "We could use a Deflection spell in a close radius, as well as some finely-tuned Dark Arts detectors. Some precautionary distractions along the way are of course essential."
These were all standard countermeasures; Lily had already thought of every one of them, as well as some new suggestions for this particular scenario. At the moment, James was bored and sick of his job-he could think of several better uses for their time.
It wasn't hard for Lily to notice his frame of mind. Not only was James disinclined to debate tactics-which hardly ever happened-, but he also kept looking at her like a waiting leopard would an unsuspecting gazelle. It was disturbing.
Lily didn't give up trying. "I'll go upstairs and bring down the blueprint. We'll work on this," she emphasised severely.
James understood the warning. However, when she turned around to go to the second floor, a firm hand on her shoulder stopped her. He moved a step closer. Caught off guard, Lily hadn't expected her heart to thump this strongly. He was mere inches away; she could feel the warmth of his chest almost touching her back, and it was all terribly distracting.
"Are you sure that's what you want?" he asked softly, brushing his lips against her earlobe. James knew very well how hard it was for her to make sense out of her mind right now. He could tell that Lily was far more at his mercy than she thought.
He was right to be that confident; she couldn't bring herself to reply sensibly. It would be so easy to let go right then! James slid his arm around her belly, bringing her nearer to him, and began nibbling softly on her ear. Lily's feeble defences finished tumbling down. She hadn't known he could win her over this effortlessly.
"James," she mumbled weakly, mustering what little self-control she had left. It wasn't much; her tone clearly begged him to continue. "We really should work."
Lily had forgotten what a sadistic prick James could be.
"All right," he agreed, stepping back and letting go of her. James had had no serious intention to go through with it this time, apparently; he just wanted to prove how uncomplicated it would be to get what he wanted from her.
Lily's powerlessness had startled her. She couldn't recall the last time a man had affected her to this point. How had James done it? He hadn't even tried. There was only one possible conclusion: she had already been feeling this way before, and he had somehow noticed it.
She sighed and accepted his choice. James could drive her insane if he so wished, and would in all probability enjoy making her as desperate as he presumably was. All she could do was focus on the job and hope that at some point he decided to do the same.