Chapter Thirteen
Coming to their Senses
Author's Note: Thank you for all the reviews! Here's chapter thirteen!
(Harry)
It's been more than a week. More than a week since it happened.
I loved her. I love her, and she kissed me.
I've been going through my normal routine since it happened, thinking about what to do, regretting my actions, questioning my sanity.
I can't decide whether I'm a bloody idiot or a rambling genius. The truth is, I NEVER stopped loving her, I NEVER got over her. I have been an idiot all along, where did I think I was going with Natalie? Did I honestly think I loved her? They were all right, I was rushing into it, I was using her to fill up that space that Hermione had left when she ran away.
Who was I kidding anyway?
"Harry-Bear!" I hear the voice penetrate the quiet air around me and I cringe. "Where are you?"
"Kitchen," I croak.
She comes in, all smiles, "Hello pet!" she trills. "I was thinking, since that Hermione character can't help us plan the wedding why don't we hire a wedding planner like Jennifer Lopez?"
That's it, the straw that broke the camel's back or whatever the saying is. I've had enough of this bull shit.
"No, Natalie, I don't think we will."
"Why not?" she asks, slightly agitated.
I sigh, running a hand through my hair, "Natalie, I'm sorry-"
"Sorry for what," she snaps.
I clench my jaw, I'm beginning to see her for what she really is.
I stand up, "I'm really very sorry, but I can't marry you."
"WHAT?!" she screeches.
"I'm-"
"WHY?" she demands, her eyes blazing, nostrils flared.
Oh man, she's making this really easy.
"I-I don't love you."
"Yes you do! Of course you do!" she's growing increasingly annoyed that things aren't going her way. "We're perfect together!"
"No," I shake my head. "We're not."
"Prove it," she says icily, sneering at me.
Fine, she wants to play it her way.
"Well," I say frankly. "For one thing? I can't stand you."
Her mouth opens in horror, "Excuse me?!"
"Everything! Your smoking, your talking- the way you treat people!" I shout.
"What's wrong with the way I treat people?" she asks, glaring daggers at me.
I look down, sighing, how can I put this?
I don't say anything.
"Answer me!" she screams.
I'm trying to restrain myself, I really am, but I can't take it anymore, oh well.
"Fine, you're a bitch!"
She looks completely and utterly disgusted.
This should make her throw up then, "And I love Hermione."
"You can't be serious," she manages to say, laughing a little.
"Oh, I'm very serious."
After a few seconds of staring at each other in silence she reaches her hand to slap me across the face but I grab her wrist.
"I don't think so," I growl. "It's over."
I let go of her wrist and head for the door, but turn around quickly and say, "And by the way, she's not a whore or a character," I pause. "She's an amazing person and you can't even begin to compare to her. Now get out of my apartment."
______________________________________________________________________________
I rush over to Hermione's flat and pound on the door.
When it finally opens I'm greeted by an unfamiliar man in a suit.
"Are you here to look at the flat?"
I stare at him, and the look into the apartment, it's empty.
"Where's Hermione?" I question.
"I'm sorry sir, who?"
I run away from him and immediately drive over to Ron's house. I pound on his front door, never ceasing until he opens it.
He stares at me.
"Come to your senses have you?"
"Where's Hermione?!" I demand frantically.
He raises his eyebrows at me, "You mean you actually care now?"
"Ron, I need to talk to her! Where is she?! Why is her flat empty?!" I question.
"You missed her mate," he says shrugging.
A peel of panic rushes over me like hot water and I feel scalded, "What do you mean I missed her?!"
"She's gone, she's been gone for two weeks."
"Ron, what the hell are you talking about- Gone? Gone where?!"
"Why do you care?" he asks viciously. "You pushed her away!"
I sigh defeatedly, "Listen, I know I screwed up, I need to see her! I need to talk to her- to fix everything!"
Ron shakes his head, heat rising in his ears, he's growing angry, "You don't know anything!" he shouts. "You weren't there when she nearly had a nervous break down in Diagon Alley! You weren't there for the aftermath, when she was crying- To me! She felt like she wasn't good enough for you, like you didn't love her!" he pauses. "You weren't there after you broke her heart!"
I stare at him, every word is stabbing at me and I feel horrible. I never wanted to hurt her. I've been a bloody idiot. I swallow back the urge to cry like the damn coward I am.
"I know she hurt you once but I didn't think-"
"Ron please, tell me where she is, I can't let her go again...."
He thinks for a second, staring at me, then he sighs, "At her parents house in Hertfordshire."
I feel an extreme amount of relief overcome me as I rush toward me car.
"Thank you!"
______________________________________________________________________________
I finally find Hermione's parents' house.
It's a small house, painted white with a brown shingled roof. There's a small dormant garden out front and a nice, stone pathway from the drive to the door.
Hermione's car is here and I feel a strong surge of determination as I get out of my car and practically run up to the front door.
Hermione's mother opens the door, she's confused to see me, but she smiles.
"Harry? How nice to see you."
"Mrs. Granger, is Hermione here? I need to see her,it's urgent!"
Mrs. Granger's eyes cloud over for a minute, as if she's worried. And then she stares at me, and she knows, realization makes her smile, and she knows everything.
For a minute I feel so relieved to have this woman on my side, but when she frowns my spirits fall.
She shakes her head, "I'm sorry dear, she's on a date."
Date.
The words echo in the empty spaces of my mind and I freeze, every cell in my body seems to go rigid. I completely screwed up.
She's on a date. She's moved on because I pushed her away.
Damn it.
The woman in front of me seems to be almost as upset as I am, "I'm sorry. Should I tell her you came by?"
I nod numbly, "Y-Yeah, thanks."
And I stumble down to the edge of the drive and sit down on the sidewalk.
I didn't love Natalie. Why is that so bloody clear to me now? Why couldn't I have realized this about four weeks ago? I've always loved Hermione, and I never stopped.
But she's moved on, she's on a date. She did the independent thing, she moved on, she's going on with her life, and she's not pathetically waiting around for me. I swallow, it's so selfish of me, but I hope things don't work out with this guy she's out with. I hope it goes horribly.
I tried to move on after she ran away from me, and that relationship was a disaster. So I really hope it doesn't work out with this guy she's seeing right now.
I feel a physical pain in my chest, right near my heart and I swallow. I don't want to be alone the rest of my life. I want to have Hermione. I don't want to settle for someone I just like a lot and can deal with until I'm eighty, I want love, love like I felt for Hermione. And okay, that might sound totally soft, whatever, I am in love with her.
I stare ahead, looking at the houses across the road, not really seeing them. The sidewalk is cold and uncomfortable
and the wind is growing strong. I hear the sound of rain overhead, but it turns completely silent soon after. And it
begins snowing.
______________________________________________________________________________
(Hermione)
I march up the sidewalk, staring at my feet in hopes of shielding my eyes from the snow that's collecting in my hair. I look up to see how much farther I have to go when I see someone sitting on the sidewalk in front of our house.
Who on Earth-
No.
No.
No.
No.
No.
This is not happening. Am I going mad?
I don't stop when I near him, or even when he looks up. I go on my way, prepared to walk up the drive and straight into the house.
"Hermione!"
"Leave me alone Harry, please," I say, wondering how long he's been sitting there.
I walk with my back turned to him, but he scrambles to his feet.
"Hermione, you have to listen to me please!" he pleads, grabbing my arm and turning me around.
I look at him.
His hair is damp with melting snow and his cheeks and nose are red. Those green eyes are round with sadness and longing. And a lump forms in my throat.
"Go away Harry," I say firmly, jerking my arm out of his hand.
I turn around again, but he takes my bare wrist. He engulfs both my hands in his and warms them slightly. My skin is prickly under his, I can't stand touching him, I can't bear to have him stand before me, this is too much, all too much. I want to run inside, but this is just what I wanted.
"Hermione-"
I rip my hands from his grasp and lash out at him, walking a little bit a ways toward the street, "What do you want Harry?!"
"I-"
"I broke your heart, you broke mine and now we're even. Can we stop playing this game now?"I ask viciously.
He shakes his head sadly, his eyes falling slightly, "Hermione, I didn't mean to-"
"Stop it Harry!" I nearly shout. "You can't- It's just-" I groan. "You don't even know!"
He doesn't say a thing.
"I can't deal with this anymore," I cover my face. "This isn't fair," I mutter to myself, shaking my head.
"Hermione," Harry ventures. "Why did you leave?" he asks.
I move my hands, "Why did I leave? Why did I leave?! Because of you, because of you and Natalie!"
He stares at me.
"Hermione I'm sorry."
I shake my head.
"I honestly don't know what to say to you, Harry," I feel like crying, but I don't. "All right, I understand you loved me and I ran away like a coward and I regret it. I do, I have been regretting it every day since I left."
He stares at me.
"And I'm sorry for that. But you came here and you had Natalie and I really understood how much I had screwed up," I shake my head. "And then you asked me to help plan your wedding and what could I say?" I laugh bitterly. "And the whole time I wanted to break the two of you up so badly, but then when the article came out I felt horrible."
"Hermione, Nat-"
"If I did break you and Natalie up I'm so sorry, but please if you came to tell me you never want to see me again or something like that, please just spare me!"
It was at that moment, when my eyes met his I realized how much I truly loved him. And now I'm going to make a decision, to take the advice of a gay best friend and my oldest best friend. I'm going to tell him.
I take a deep breath, "Basically, what it breaks down to is this: I love you. I've never loved anyone this way, ever. I can't stop thinking about you and even though I'm trying to run away from you I know I never will because you're always there, in my thoughts, in my dreams," I swallow. "I can't get away. And it hurts because you have Natalie and all I want is for you to be happy...."
I keep going on without stopping or thinking, the words do fade on my lips though, but only when Harry kisses me.
Wait, WHAT?!
Yes, he's definitely kissing me, an eager, apologetic kiss. I nearly melt. He wraps his strong arms around my waist and pulls me tighter, I'm at such a vertigo right now I can't even think straight. All my problems wash away because he kissed me, he wanted to! The kiss is deep but not nearly enough. The shock is wearing off and I put my arms behind his neck. I am in such a state of bliss I feel light headed and dizzy.
We pull away at the same time and we're both breathing raggedly.
"I love you," he says, his eyes burning into mine. "I always have. I came here to apologize, to get you back. I don't know what I was thinking when I was with Natalie-"
"Was?" I'm stunned.
"Yeah, I told her to piss off earlier today," he smiles, half-laughing.
I'm speechless.
I hope he told her to stuff it too, that cow.
We're silent for a few minutes, standing in the silent snow.
"Your mum told me you were on a date," he whispers. "I was worried I had lost my chance."
I shake my head, sighing shakily, "It went horribly, the guy was a jerk. I left and I didn't even care that I had to walk home."
"I'm sorry," he says absently, then he thinks for a minute. "No, I'm not sorry."
I laugh, feeling so light and giddy I'm almost walking through a dreamlike state.
He strokes my cheek, "I missed you when you left," he leans his forehead against mine. "Why did you leave me all that time ago?" he asks.
I frown, "I was scared," I pause. "It was stupid, I was afraid my feelings for you would get too intense I wouldn't have any control over them."
"I wish you had talked to me before you ran," he mutters, kissing me softly.
"I'm sorry-"
"No, I'm sorry."
"Can we never be this stupid again?" I ask.
He nods, "Deal."
"Hermione, love, does this mean you're not dating the dentist-boy?" Dad calls from the house.
Harry and I laugh, smiling to ourselves, "That's right."
"Good choice!" he yells back with a smile and then closes the door.
"So you're not running away anymore?" Harry asks, his eyes drilling into mine with such passion it almost takes my breath away.
I laugh, "I'm not going anywhere."
And I grab his collar, pulling him into another kiss.
Author's Note: The end! Sequel? Of the actual wedding? I dunnnno. You tell me in those lovely and
awesome reviews!