Unofficial Portkey Archive

Chapter Six
Dating A Gay Thespian?

Author's Note: Thank you all sooooo much for the reviews! They make my day!
All your questions about what is going to happen will be answered soon, don't worry! Here's chapter six!

The next day work seems to end way too soon. I had explained everything that had happened to Robbie and he was extremely sympathetic and apologized for his absence. I told him how I thought I was better off going to Ron because I had felt we had lost that bond of friendship over the past few years, and having him just listen to me babble for an hour made me realize he was still my best friend.

After work I drop my stuff off at home and drive to Harry's flat. I park in the 'Vistors' spot and wait on a cold, metal bench in front of the building. I hug my coat closer to me and my teeth chatter. So typical of her to be late, and she has a bloody driver! I fish through my pocket and grab a sweet that's wrapped up in crinkly paper, it's the Hot Chocolate Sweet Drop I bought yesterday with Harry. I swallow as my throat constricts, thinking back to last night. I blink away any remaining tears and unwrap the chocolate, popping it in my mouth. I instantly feel as if I'm drinking a mug of hot chocolate and I sit back on the bench, watching the park across the street.

The minutes tick away and Natalie still isn't here. I feel stupid and lame sitting in the cold like this. I wouldn't be surprised if she just didn't come, leaving me alone like this and then Harry finds out and she makes up some ridiculous excuse and he's all 'Oh of course Nat, it's okay, we have an equal relationship. Who cares if you left poor, innocent Hermione out in the bitter cold? BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!' Equal relationship my-

BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP!

-foot.

"Hermione, pet!" she trills. "Come, come, we have so much to do!"

I look up and she's sticking her head out of the window, big smile on her face. Bitch. I get up and walk across the sidewalk, her driver's about to get out and open the door for me but she says, "No, don't bother."

I roll my eyes and slide in next to her. The whole car is filled with this cheap, strong flowery scent that I can only guess is Natalie's perfume. I feel like I'm going to gag, choke, suffocate, or cry. I resist all four.

We're driving along the road now and there's an irritating silence reverberating between us. I get the feeling we're both thinking the same thing but can't verbalize anything. So I look out the window and try to calm down. I can't believe I'm helping the woman who's taking MY HARRY away from me to pick a wedding dress to get married to MY HARRY. Maybe I could turn it around and convince her to buy some really crappy tye-dye dress or something.

My thoughts slip back to yesterday and the conversation between Harry and Natalie. The words are playing back in my head, over and over and I analyze every bit of it.

"Listen Nat - Natalie, I agreed to having the wedding at The Manor, Hermione's really important to me and I want her involved in this wedding-"

Before what?! That question won't go away. I even had a nightmare about it that night.

Natalie was a part of some secret underground Harry Potter cult and they all had a plan to kill 'The Hated Hermione Granger'. And she was okay with me helping out before the cult had made those plans. Scary shit. But seriously, before what? Before she realized she shouldn't be marrying him! And WHY didn't he say 'love you' back? Huh? What was that?!

"Everyone's meeting us at Lamarque's," she says out of no where and I look at her.

Everyone? There's more?!

"Oh, okay," I reply.

"Lamarque's a friend of Mummy's so he'll get me the perfect dress!" she squeals.

I smile, "How lucky."

"Isn't it?" she tilts her head and smiles.

I wince and look ahead. Next she's taking out a cigarette from her bag and lighting it up, I try to not cough my lungs out but I can't help it. Of course, she's indifferent to it all. I notice we've arrived in some swanky part of London and it's not long before the car pulls up in front of a large, posh building. The driver opens the door of us and we get out, looking up. I follow Natalie into the building and across a marble, and purple carpeted lobby. The lady at the desk looks at us, expecting for us to come over and sign in or something but Natalie doesn't even acknowledge her, I shrug apologetically at the woman and she nods with a grateful smile.

We cross the lobby and she presses the 'Up' button for the lift, I shudder.

"Um, Natalie, do we have to take the lift?" I ask.

She looks at me as if I'm the plague, "Did you want to take the 50 floors?" she asks, raising an eyebrow.

I bite my lip, and don't answer.

She laughs, "That's what I thought."

The doors slide open and a few important looking people come out, Natalie ignores them and flounces into the lift, I follow timidly. She presses another button and it's not long we lurch upward. I feel sick already. I hate lifts, I feel so trapped inside them.

"So, you went to Hogwarts with Harry?" she asks, making conversation.

"Yeah," I answer. "Did you go to a magical school?"

"No," she answers, looking at her nails. "I was tutored."

Of course you were.

"Oh that's- er - Cool."

She just looks at me and nods.

After a few more seconds she says, "You're very good friends with Harry? Ever since you were thirteen right?"

I smile, "Uh eleven actually, yeah."

"Oh," she says bitterly. "I remember reading an article in Witch Weekly about you two, did you two ever-"

"Oh no," I say quickly. "We were never together or anything."

She folds her arms but keeps her plastic smile, "Really?" I nod. "Harry did tell me about some thing he had for you before you. . . . Ran away."

Okay, FIRST of all, I don't think 'head over heals, madly and deeply in love' is a THING. Second of all, it's bad enough when people talk about me 'running away' but when it comes out of her mouth it's like acid.

"Oh that, yeah, it's over now. He's marrying you after all-"

"So you don't have any feelings for him now, right?"

OH. MY. GOD.

I can't breathe, there's sweat beading on my scalp. I know the walls are moving closer together, why is it so hot in here? How does she know?

I laugh, "Of course I don't have any feelings for him," I say. "Why would I? He's getting married to you!" I laugh again.

She shrugs and thankfully, before she can say anything else, the doors slide open.

We walk across a sparkling marble floor, past another receptionist and through some glass doors. I don't question anything, just follow Natalie's quick, echoey footsteps. We come to another door and she opens it, walking inside, I trot behind. . . . The sight before me is inevitable.

There's three woman in the room, a woman with short blonde hair and a pink, skirt and suit, she's holding a small, shaking terrier under her arm that begins yapping at me. Another woman has long blonde hair like Natalie, except her's is waved to perfection. The last woman is much older, with short blonde hair and a face that looks pulled-back and pinched. Geez. Isn't this a sight for sore eyes? Three Natalie clones, all at different ages.

"Mummy! Nana! Lindsay!" she squeals, hugging each of them. "Where's Lamarque?" she asks, looking around.

"Oh he's in the back getting some dresses he thought would look fabulous on you!" Lindsay (I'm assuming) says.

The room has huge windows that look over the city, but they have large screens over them so no one can see in. There's a few, overstuffed couches and armchairs. I notice a small platform in the end of the room, in front of a display of mirrors. There are two large doors on the opposite side of the room, and a large screen for changing near the mirrors.

"Mummy, Lindsay, Nana, this is Hermione, Harry's friend. The one I told you about," she says.

They all share looks of something unbeknownst to me and they all shake my hand reluctantly. Once the introduction's over with, the doors on the other side of the room are pushed open and there's a large man standing there. He has dark hair that connects to a trim beard and mustache. His eyebrows are high as if he's raising them on purpose, on second thought, maybe he is. This must be 'Lamarque.'

He stomps into the room in a very pompous way, he looks around and I can see Natalie hold her breath. Apparently they think he's important for some reason?

He walks up to us and stops at Natalie's mother, "Good to see you Grace," he says with a distinct accent of some place I don't recall. They join hands and he kisses both of her cheeks and does the same with everyone else.

Then he comes to me.

"And who are you?" he asks, looking down his large nose at me.

"Hermione Granger," I say defiantly.

"'ave ve met before?"

"No."

"Oh," he straightens up. "You must know who I am anyvay."

I look at him, taking in every feature, "Lamarque?"

"Yeez, Gustave Lamarque, famous clothing designer," he moves his hand in a flourish and I blink.

"Oh, of course," I reply.

"I came all the vay from France to help with the Price vedding and I'm sure Natalie's drezz vill be zee best I 'ave ever created!"

The women sigh and I ask, "You're from France?"

He looks at me as if I'm a bug, "No, I am from Latvia. I live in France," he shakes his head and moves toward Natalie. "My little chicken, you vill 'ave the most amazing drezzes for you vedding! Dont choo vorry," he claps his large hands together. "Let uz begin!"

And so the day drags on, measuring and pinning and trying on and so on. I watch the whole thing in fatigue, recalling my day dismally.

I had to deal with a screaming ten year old and an old woman who thought it was World War I and kept lunging at Robbie as if he were a Austrian spy. That part was actually funny for a minute because Robbie played along, and told the woman he had the Von Trapp family on his side and got down on one knee singing 'The Hills Are Alive With the Sound of Music.' Needless to say, the woman began running around the hallways, screaming, as fast as her orthopedic shoes would take her. And of course during the glorious hours of work Robbie was constantly nagging me to get a picture of Harry and Ron so he could 'See how fit these blokes really were'. Which helped my attention span VERY little for I was already having trouble staying off the topic of Harry.

No matter what I was doing, who I was talking to; No matter how distracted or busy I was his face would spring to my mind and my heart would ache. My sweet Harry, I could be the one trying on silky dresses for him and sighing his name, only if I hadn't been such a coward. I couldn't help feeling like I wanted to cry in front of him at the end of almost everyday, just because I felt like everything was such a mess.

And what the hell was that in the lift?! So you don't have any feelings for him now, right? OH MY GOD! She couldn't possibly know. That's not physically possible. No, I'm just being paranoid. She was joking in a sick, twisted way. ARRRRRRRRRGH I feel like spitting in her face or screaming in her ear or something, ANYTHING!

Natalie and Lindsay are looking at Bride's Maid Dresses and seeing which one would look 'fabulous' with any of the fifty dresses Natalie's narrowed it down to. I really think I was intoxicated when I said I'd help pick out dresses today, seriously how stupid am I? Maybe I could get out of this somehow, leave, and go hang out with Robbie or something. Karma seems to be on my side this week because my mobile phone starts to ring, I smile sheepishly at them as they look.

"Hello?"

They begin to ignore me as Robbie's reassuring voice fills my head, "Hey Miss-I-Like-To-Steal-Boyfriends!"

"How's it going Mr. I-Wish-I-Had-And-Was-A-Boyfriend?" I say quietly so no one can hear me.

He laughs, "Good. Are you still helping Cruella pick out her dress?"

I smile for the first time today, "Hardly." I lower my voice, "I'm just sitting here."

"Say you need to help your friend get his cat out of a tree," he says.

"Robbie!" I whisper. "I'm not going to say that."

"Fine, say you're friend Miranda Ferrara is having a crisis and you need to leave and help her."

"What?"

"Hey! It'll get you out of there! I want you to say it word for word, we'll milk it," he says.

"Um-"

"Tell them now!"

"Robbie!"

Then he begins wailing into the phone and I have to hold it away from my ear.

"It's okay, Miranda, it'll be fine," I say loudly into the receiver.

"Me boyfriendo es crazio!" he says in a high pitched voice.

I contain my laughter as everyone in the room looks at me.

"Is everything all right, Hermione?" Natalie asks sourly.

I smile, "No I'm afraid my good friend Miranda Ferrara is having a bit of a crisis, I should go help her. Besides it seems you have enough help to get you through five weddings."

Preferably not Harry's.

"Si, mucho problemo!" Robbie shrieks.

What the hell? I almost laugh.

"All right if you say so," Natalie says.

"It was nice meeting all of you, good luck!" and I run from the room and into the lift (reluctantly) with the mobile phone clutched in my hand. "Robbie that was the worst Spanish accent I've ever heard."

"I'm a gay Brit, what do you want?" he questions.

I laugh, "Good point."

"Hey I'm in a greasy food-mood!" he declares.

I laugh again.

"We're going to a diner and getting some greasy food whether you like it or not!" he says.

"Okay, if you say so," I reply. "I need to get my car at Harry's flat though-"

"No I'll pick you up there we'll get your car later," he tells me.

I agree, tell him the address, and he's there in a barely any time.

After stopping at the diner, picking up some 'greasy' french fries and sodas and we stop at Robbie's house, drop off his car, and walk around London like we usually do. We eat the fries out of the bag and sip the colas as we go, talking about random things. I try to keep my thoughts off Harry as best I can but it's nearly impossible since Robbie's practically obsessed with my love-life.

"So, Harry-"

"Robbie! Do we have to talk about him?" I plead.

"Yes," he replies. "How's everything going?" he asks.

I groan, buying time by sipping the soda, "I don't know. He's infatuated with her! It's disgusting."

He laughs, swallows a french fry and stays silent for a second, then, "Why don't you try and make him jealous?"

I think about this, "No, I couldn't do that. If he's really happy with Natalie he won't care what I'm doing."

"You said you two almost snogged-"

"Robbie, I would hardly call it that! Our faces were close that's all," I argue.

"Shush!" he commands. "From a male's perspective I'm telling you, make him jealous and he'll come crawling back on all fours, pleading for your love on his knees."

I almost cry because that sounds so nice.

"Trust me, it's from a male's perspective."

"Robbie, you're gay."

His face falls, "Oh yeah. Shut up! It doesn't matter!"

I shake my head.

"Get him jealous!"

"No, I refuse."

He continues to argue, "But Hermione-"

"No, I will NOT attempt to make him jealous!"

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Robbie and I took a cab to Harry's flat to get my car, from there I'm supposed to drop him off at his flat. So as we walk across the parking lot, laughing and talking we hardly notice Harry and Natalie walking out from the building.

We get to my car and I fumble for my keys.

"Hermione!" I'm so shocked I drop the keys onto the pavement and quickly scramble to retrieve them. I look up, and there they are, hurrying over to us, all smiles. "Nat told me you had to rush out because of a crisis?'

"Oh yes," I smile brightly, sensing Robbie examine both of them. "My friend Miranda, having some boyfriend problems and I didn't want to leave her to deal with it alone," I lie.

Natalie looks at Robbie, "And this is your friend, Miranda?" she asks, pointing to him.

I laugh automatically, "Him? No, you see Miranda fled from the country before I could get to her house and I couldn't very well follow her on a plane and everything!" I look around anxiously. "She's staying with her sister."

"Where'd she 'flee' to?" Natalie asks and I want to bash her head in.

"You know what? I didn't get a chance to ask her," I laugh again.

"Right," Natalie replies.

I look at Harry and he raises an eyebrow at me, nobody else notices though. He knows the truth but I know he won't blow my cover.

"I hope everything goes well," he says and I almost melt, he's playing along!

I smile gratefully, "Thanks."

We share a knowing glance and he says, "No problem."

"And who are you?" Natalie interrupts, looking at Robbie.

"Oh right, sorry. This is Robbie my-"

"Boyfriend."

Holy shit who just said that?! OH MY GOD I'VE GONE COMPLETELY MAD!

"Boyfriend?" Harry echoes and I'm almost compelled to ask him if he heard it too but then I realize he and Robbie are shaking hands and- OH MY LORD.

"Yes Robert Bradley, Hermione's boyfriend," and for a second he sounds straight.

"How come you never told us you had a boyfriend?" Natalie asks in a chipper way as Harry stares, wide-eyed at Robbie, his mouth agape.

"That's 'cause I just found out," I say through clenched teeth.

"What?" she questions.

I laugh, "I didn't want to bother you guys while you're preparing for you wedding," I say almost acidly.

"Oh how sweet," Natalie cooes and looks at Harry who hasn't blinked. "Harry?"

He shakes his head, "R-Right, sweet."

"Yeah that's me, sweet, anyway we should go, it was nice seeing you too."

"Nice meeting you!" Robbie says and we get in the car.

They walk away and we drive out of the parking lot.

I'm instantly furious, "ROBBIE!"

"Yes?"

"How could you do that?! I told you I wasn't going to make him jealous!"

"Yeah, you never said anything about me making you make him jealous," he says examining his nails.

"ROBERT BRADLEY!"

"What? Didn't you see his face? That was disbelief!" he says with a smile, clearly proud of himself.

"That's because he knows I'm dating a gay thespian!"

"Daaaaayum girl, he's fine! Do they make them all like that in the magical world?" he asks.

I groan, "Robbie you aren't making this easy."

"Look if worst comes to worst we'll break up," he says nonchalantly.

"Is this some sort of sick game to you?" I question.

He smiles, "I've always wanted to play the role of straight boyfriend," he sighs.

I shake my head, this is truly hopeless.

Author's Note: I know there was a whoooooole lot of Robbie in this chapter but I've been neglecting him and I felt bad, haha. Anyway, hope you liked it, next chapter, EVERYTHING'S gonna go crazy like woah! Strap on those seat belts folks! and of course, please review!