Unofficial Portkey Archive

Chapter 10- Now or Never

I don't want a turn at this. I wouldn't know what to talk about. ("Anything and everything. Something about any of us. Just… random stuff.") I'm assuming you don't want me to talk about my boyfriend then. ("'Course not. Stuff connected to the eight of us. You know.") Alright.

What to talk about…

("Would it help if I left?") I guess…

Alright. I wasn't sure I could get her to leave, but I did. She promised not to read this until the end of the year, and she better keep her promise. She'd probably kill me if she ended up reading this before it happened. Before everything fell into place like it's supposed to.

I suppose an introduction is in order. My name is Alice Carter. I suppose I'm the sensible one. Lily is the smart one, Morgan is the flirtatious one, Ryan is the athletic one. So I suppose that makes me the sensible one.

I'm not. Sensible, I mean. That's just my reputation. I just have a habit of saying the right thing at the right time. It doesn't make sense until I actually say it, and it (luckily) comes out making a lot of sense. Which is how I received the title `Sensible.' It's really the only thing left.

If I was really as sensible as everyone says I am, I would have a solution to the Lily and James problem. Luckily, it isn't much of a problem anymore. They get along now. They haven't had a true argument in months. Lily hasn't slapped him in ages. It's finally working out for the better. If only we could convince Lily that she could give him a chance in the more-than-friends department too.

I'm not even sure they're the real problem anymore. I mean, sure, Lily is going to be extremely stubborn once we start trying to convince her that she and James would be wonderful together, but that's to be expected. I'm starting to think that the real problem is Ryan and Remus. Or, at least, I think so. But even that's starting to work itself out. Maybe there isn't a real relationship issue in our year.

I remember when Ryan came to Hogwarts. We all do. I don't think I've ever seen the Marauders so happy as the first couple of weeks of our fifth year.

Well, all except Peter, the poor boy. I feel a bit sorry for him sometimes. Those first few weeks, he was almost completely ignored. Not on purpose, mind you. The other three were just so happy to be reunited that they left him behind for a little while. It didn't last long, anyway. As soon as one of them figured out that Peter was feeling left out, they all did everything they could to remind him he was still included.

Perhaps that's why he and Ryan don't get along. He must think she's trying to replace him. She isn't, of course. If anything, she could accuse him of trying to replace her. Or accuse the other Marauders of trying to find someone to replace her. Ryan and Peter each have their own position in that group. Ryan is a strategist, Peter is… Well, I'm not exactly sure what Peter does, but he isn't a strategist. He strikes me as possibly the look-out, the diversion. But he's something else entirely, as well. He's Peter. That explains it, doesn't it?

We all had our own opinions about the new girl. Lily thought she would be just like the other four, or how she conceived the other four (which was completely wrong but also completely understandable from her viewpoint). Morgan wondered if Ryan would help her get closer to the Marauders (that was when she still had crushes on at least two of them at a time). I just wondered what she would be like. Then I met her, and we got along alright. She seemed nice enough, and she didn't constantly prank people, and she didn't pick on other people just because she didn't like them. If she could be compared to any of them, she was most like Remus.

But she isn't really like any of them. None of them can truly be compared to the others. Each had his (or her) own place, own position. They know that. They know their own position. Except, again, for Peter.

Maybe he's just incredibly insecure. But that really doesn't make much sense either, because he is a Marauder. Marauders aren't insecure, period. They know who they are and what they do and where they belong. Or, at least, the others do. If Peter is really so different from all of them, why is he a Marauder?

There are a few key traits all Marauders have. They are all loyal, to family and to each other (the exception for familial loyalty is Sirius Black, but that makes perfect sense if you know his family). They all would willing trust their life in a fellow Marauder's hands (the exception being Ryan, who doesn't trust Peter as far as she can throw him). They help each other, no questions asked, no matter when, where, or why. They're true Gryffindors, breaking "unimportant" rules for the sake of having fun, or even helping each other.

They're all smart. They are stubborn. Their faith in their beliefs, life, and each other is unshakeable. They would never, faced with money, power, or even death, betray each other.

Some people would kill for that kind of friendship. They have their arguments, they're human. But they have that special kind of friendship that everyone wishes they had. The kind that you look at and you know, just at a glance, that the five of them would do anything for each other, even give up their lives if necessary.

And that, at a glance, is what the Marauders are.

-Alice Carter

&-&-&-&-&

"Owww…" Ryan knew she sounded like Kaitlyn and Meredith after the Hogsmeade parties, but she didn't really care. Not that there had been a Hogsmeade party the night before anyway. She never went to those parties. At least not unless Sirius dragged all of the Marauders off to one of them to pick up girls (which made it pointless for her to come along, but she did for the entertainment of watching a drunk Sirius). And, on top of that, she never got drunk off wizarding stuff. So that couldn't be why she was groaning.

She felt a bit like that one time she'd drank something out of her father's Muggle liquor cabinet. It was just once, and it was just one beer, but Morgana, did she have a headache the next morning. So she had a low tolerance to the Muggle stuff. Big deal. As long as she kept to Firewhiskey, she was fine.

This time, though, it wasn't just her head that hurt. Her whole body hurt. Maybe she had lied to Remus just a little bit when she told him that it didn't hurt her to change like it hurt the other three. But he certainly didn't need to know that.

She just… hadn't stretched her wings in a while. She'd been busy lately, that was all. If she flew around as often as she usually did (at least two or three times a week), then she wouldn't be hurting. She was just out of practice. Like a runner that hadn't run for a few weeks and suddenly decided to run three laps around the Quidditch pitch at a sprint. That was all it was.

If she thought hard enough, she could barely remember telling Lily to go away in Russian (okay, so her words were a little stronger than that, but that was what she meant). If she didn't get up soon, she'd be late to class. She had double Transfiguration first thing. McGongall wouldn't accept the excuse that she was tired because she'd been stretching her wings the night before. If anything, McGongall would press as to why she was so tired if she was `just stretching her wings'.

If she thought hard enough, she could remember why her right arm and lower back hurt. Actually, at the time of the injury, it had been her right wing and right above her tail. He had bitten her. Not hard, granted, but he did bite her. She couldn't really blame him for it, though. It was her own fault for not paying attention and moving out of range fast enough. Thank Merlin and Morgana that werewolf bites didn't do anything to animals except leave bite marks.

That was one of the things she regretted about not being an Animagus. If she was a true Animagus, she could leave most of her cuts and bruises behind when she transformed back. The guys had only learned that around Christmas of their sixth year, but it was possible. After they transformed back into their normal selves, they only had the worst cuts and the worst bruises.

But not her. Everything that happened to her as a Phoenix happened to her as a human. A minor setback that she usually didn't worry about because she was faster than all of them. Well, except for the whole werewolf-bites-don't-hurt-animals thing. She still wasn't affected by… whatever it was that made people werewolves. She was pretty sure she would still have the marks though.

If she hadn't known any better, she would've thought she was drunk. Her thought process was starting to confuse even her.

"Urg," Ryan groaned again, putting her face into the pillow. Five minutes couldn't hurt, could they? She could just do a quick freshening spell and take a shower during lunch (she might even get warm water that way). Then she'd be off to see Pomfrey and get her to write a note of absence for Transfiguration. Pomfrey loved her anyway, as much as she hated to admit it. If you had to deal with a kid that passed out every few months because she was over working herself when she knew she shouldn't be, you'd start to like her too.

Yeah. That's what she would do. It wouldn't kill her.

Suddenly there was a flash of green light behind her eyelids. She let out a loud yelp and tumbled out of bed and onto the floor. She landed on her back with an, "Oof!" She took a deep, slow breath, trying to calm down as she stared up at the ceiling. Okay, Miller. How many spells come out as green lights? She could only come up with one. She closed her eyes, hoping that would help, but all she managed to do was make it worse.

Death Eaters. Lots of them. At least ten against one fully trained wizard and a little boy. "You might as well give it up, Miller," one of the Death Eaters sneered. "It's all over now."

"It's not over until I decide it is," the man said coolly, standing protectively in front of the little boy. The boy just shuddered behind him, looking terrified.

The Death Eaters laughed wickedly. "Have it your way then," the leader said.

The group of Death Eaters parted. An unnaturally tall man-No, it wasn't a man. It couldn't be human. Its face was very pale, as if it never went out into the sunlight, and its eyes were a little like a snakes. It all but glided between them to stop in front of the man. The man paled slightly, but he held his ground.

"What do you want?" the man snarled.

The thing had the evil laugh down perfectly. "To show your daughter just what happens when she refuses to assist us." The man paled even more. The thing merely chuckled. "Yes, I contacted her. What did you expect? To just let Dumbledore have her?"

"You would if you were smart," the man hissed. The boy behind him trembled. Why wasn't he trying to run?

The thing chuckled again. "Why? Because of her powers? Her powers are why I want her on our side. Her refusal is why you must die. Say goodbye to your daughter, Miller." The thing whipped out its wand and pointed it at the man calmly. "Avada-"

&-&-&-&-&

All of the male Marauders sat down next to Lily, Morgan, and Alice the next morning. "You lot look tired," Morgan said. "What, do all of you have hangovers? Because Ryan pulled out the Russian cuss words this morning."

"First of all," James, raising one finger, "Padfoot was the only one that had anything to drink last night." Sirius looked up and grinned before going back to his food. "Secondly," he raised a second finger, "Ryan doesn't get drunk. If she doesn't get drunk, she can't have a hangover."

"Thirdly," Sirius said, raising three fingers, "shove off, Watson." Morgan made a face at him.

"I thought she used Portuguese when she was really tired anyway," Peter said.

"She saves Portuguese for the first day after breaks and Mondays," Morgan said, giving Sirius an annoyed look. "Russian is for when she's really tired."

"French for normal mornings," Lily added, "and French or Italian for regular conversations."

"And Greek after she's messed up badly or when she's really angry," Alice finished.

Morgan smirked slightly. "Actually, she swore in Greek a couple of days ago. Said she topped herself in stupidity or something." She looked down the row of Marauders. "None of you would know anything about that, would you?"

Three Marauders look down the table to the fourth. The fourth raised his head tiredly, looked at his three friends sitting down the table, looked at Morgan, and (seeing as he had had an extremely long day the day before) gave all of them a certain hand gesture that isn't worth describing. His fellow Marauders started snickering. No one got a chance to say anything to him as the mail arrived.

James elbowed Sirius and pointed to a pair of barn owls. Sirius nodded grimly. "Ministry owls." Everyone immediately looked up to follow the two owls' flight. They weren't difficult to place. The owls were brown with white wings. Or they had been originally. The tips of the wings alternated between red and blue, making the owls look like someone had been playing around with color changing charms.

Everyone in the Great Hall knew that they were Ministry owls. They all tensed when they saw a pair of them. If there was only one owl, it was just delivering an update to Dumbledore. It was never a good update, but it meant that no one in Hogwarts had lost a family member. If there were two owls, one was delivering an update to Dumbledore. The other was delivering an update to a soon-to-be grieving family member.

One owl, predictably, landed in front of Dumbledore. The other owl circled the Great Hall twice before flying through the doors leading to the Entrance Hall. Everyone (especially the Muggleborns) let out a sigh of relief. It wasn't them. Their family was safe.

Lily paid the owl that delivered her newspaper. "Why do you bother subscribing to that?" James asked.

Lily glared at him. Ministry owls always put her in a bad mood. "I want to get information about what's going on outside. So that I can know what I'm up against when I get out there."

"You're up against a crazy loon who enjoys killing people," he informed her, nodding to the picture of the Dark Mark on the front page. "See? World Renown Auror Killed in Own Home. It's never good news. And look, right under that-" He pointed. "'Son also killed during attack while daughter safe at Hogwarts'."

"If the daughter is at Hogwarts, why did the owl fly out?" Alice asked.

"Wait a minute," James said, frowning and turning his head to get a better look at the picture. "That looks like-"

"You don't think-" Sirius started.

"It couldn't've been-" Remus stopped uncertainly.

A variety of four letter words flew out of their mouths. All at once, the three of them dived for the newspaper. James came out with it, and the other two quickly gathered around to read it over his shoulder. Peter leaned in at the last minute. More four letter words.

"What's wrong?" Lily asked as Alice asked, "What is it?" and Morgan asked, "What has gotten into all of you?"

There was a slight pause as the four scanned the article. Remus finally answered, scowling. "Let's just say Ryan is in for a long day." The girls' reactions were, predictably, a cross between horror and shock.

James was furious. He glanced over his shoulder at his friends and saw their reaction were close to the same. Sirius was frowning, but James could tell that he was furious and already planning revenge. Remus was still scowling and fighting to keep calm. But Peter. He looked mildly concerned, but not concerned enough. Like he…

Lily jumped up, startling all of them. "I'm going to go see if I can find her. If I can't…" She left the sentence hanging as she raced out of the Great Hall.

&-&-&-&-&

"Where's Miller?" a Hufflepuff muttered to his partner. The pair didn't notice three Gryffindors tense in the row behind them.

His partner shrugged. "Think her old man got blown up." James clenched his jaw, Sirius scowled, and Remus' hand tightened on his wand.

"What?"

"Didn't you see the paper this morning? Terrence Miller got attacked by You-Know-Who. House was in ruins. His son got killed too."

"Wow. Really? I didn't even know he had a son. You still got your copy of it?"

"Yeah, sure. I let Nate borrow it, but I'll get it for you. Wicked gruesome picture--"

BOOM! The two Hufflepuffs jumped as James glared at Sirius, and Remus grimaced.

"Great."

"Potter! Lupin!" McGongall yelled, ready to start off on them. "Black, Pettigrew! It's a fairly simple assignment. There is no way fiv- four extremely talented students such as yourselves should continue to blow things up. That's your third kettle, Potter, and Mr. Lupin's fourth cauldron. Dare I ask what seems to be bothering all of you?"

"Did you see the paper this morning?" James asked.

"Notice anyone missing?" Sirius added, glaring at the Hufflepuffs. The two Hufflepuffs, realizing they'd been overheard, turned back to their work without a word. They had enough sense to know not to face the wrath of Sirius Black.

"Gentlemen, I assure you Miss Miller is fine," McGongall said calmly. Peter let out a tiny snort of disbelief. She ignored it. "The headmaster is speaking with her. When they are finished, she will return to regular classes. Until that time, I suggest you concentrate on your own work."

"Easier said than done," James muttered darkly.

&-&-&-&-&

Remus couldn't concentrate. He had been trying to work on homework to make the time go by faster, but he had only managed to write a couple of paragraphs in the two hours he'd been in the common room. His mind kept wandering.

He looked around the common room for a different distraction and realized he was the only one there. Even the people that didn't know her, that just knew of her, had been in a depressed mood all day. It was understandable, when you thought about it. Terrence Miller was a famous Auror. He was known all over the world for stepping up whenever a Ministry needed him (at the expense of him family, Remus thought grimly).

Aurors like Terrence Miller didn't just… die. Aurors like Terrence Miller fought the Dark Arts until they were too old to hold a wand straight, and then they were put on Chocolate Frog cards. Aurors like Terrence Miller had kids like Ryan Abigail Chelsea Madison Miller: one of the most popular students in a school of over a thousand, near the top of all her class, and extremely powerful when she wanted to be.

Remus knew what everyone was wondering. If Voldemort could kill an Auror like Terrence Miller, who was next? Teams like the Potters? The Head of Law Enforcement? The Minister himself? If Voldemort could take out world famous Aurors, who was to say that he couldn't get into Hogwarts?

Remus was worried. Not about Voldemort. Voldemort would do what he wanted when he wanted, and there were very few known ways of stopping him. Things happened to people who opposed him or got in his way. There's no use in worrying about something you can't change.

No. He was worried about Ryan.

He knew he shouldn't be, that Ryan could easily take care of herself, but he couldn't help it. They hadn't seen her all day. Talking to Dumbledore couldn't take that long, could it? What could he say besides, `Ryan, I'm sorry, but Voldemort just finished killing off your family'?

He knew that she would get over the death of her dad easily enough. Maybe not easily, but… She and her father had never been close. Or, at least, they hadn't been since Ryan's mother died. Danny was a different thing entirely. They had always been close. Remus wouldn't be surprised if Ryan cried over Danny.

"Remus?"

He was out of his chair and halfway to her as soon as he recognized her voice. He stopped about a step in front of her and looked at her. She had been crying, he decided. Her eyes were red, and there were still a few tearstains on her cheeks. Her hair was down, something she only did when she had a headache.

"Rye-" He started.

"I'm fine," she said forcefully, "before you ask." She sniffled and stubbornly wiped away a stray tear.

Remus had a feeling that if he so much as touched her, she was going to lash out at him. "Where were you all day?" he asked instead.

"In Dumbledore's office," she said. She hesitated as if she was trying to decide whether or not she should explain it any further. "The Head Aurors and crap were there. They said they'd give him an Order of Merlin, second or third class. A lot of bloody good it does when he's dead." He wasn't sure if the contempt in her voice was for the Head Aurors or her father. It was probably for both.

"Are you sure you're okay?" he asked carefully.

Ryan opened her mouth, probably to snap that, yes, she was sure, but she shut it quickly when tears started welling up in her eyes again. Remus made a command decision. If she set him on fire, she set him on fire. He took the step separating them and pulled her into a hug. She let him as she started crying. Crying hard. It was the first time he had ever seen her really sobbing, and only the second time he'd seen her cry.

The two of them stood there for a couple of minutes, Ryan crying, Remus rubbing her back comfortingly. After a few minutes, Ryan's tears slowed. She finally pulled herself out of his arms. "Thanks," she mumbled. Remus gave her a reassuring smile. She sniffed and rubbed her eyes. "This is all my fault."

"It's not your fault," he said.

"It is too." She walked over to the couch and sat down, putting her head in her hands. "If I had just bloody well accepted it-"

"Rye, what are you talking about?" he asked as he sat down next to her.

"This! The reason he…" She looked up at Remus. "Well, I might as well tell you. Voldemort contacted me."

Remus blinked. He WHAT? "When?" he managed to ask.

"Last week," Ryan said. "He…" She swallowed and rubbed her eyes again. "He wanted me to join him. Because of my powers. Stupid, greedy, fucking little-"

He didn't know what to say. He wasn't sure there was anything he could say. He knew Ryan was smart and powerful, but a dark lord wanted her help? Didn't Voldemort know anything?

"It's funny," she said humorlessly, looking at her hands in her lap. "He chose my weakest time to attack my family. Almost like he knew I wouldn't be up to going after him today even if I wanted to. Not that I would bother to go after him today anyway," she continued, her voice quivering. "It wouldn't make any difference. He's already dead. They're already dead." She had to fight back tears all over again.

Remus couldn't help but think how she seemed so… defenseless. He hated seeing her like that. Defenseless, but she was already accepting it. She didn't want to, but she was. She probably thought it would do her more good in the long run. "Ryan, look at me." She did, reluctantly. "It's not you're fault." She let out a tiny noise of disbelief. "You didn't have a choice," he continued. "How do you think Danny would feel if you had accepted?"

"We'll never know, will we?" she asked dryly.

He chose to ignore her comment. "I know it's hard, Rye, but… At least you still have someone. You still have James and Sirius and Lily and Alice and Morgan and Peter-" Another snort of disbelief. "… And me. You still have us."

She managed a smile. A weak one, and a watery one, but still a smile. "You're right. As usual." Her smile faded. "I just…" She trailed off and shrugged helplessly.

Remus put a comforting arm around her. He wasn't sure how much it would help, but it was worth a try. Neither one of them said anything for a few minutes. "Are you going to go up to bed?" he finally asked her.

Ryan shook her head. "They'll want to talk about it. I'm… I'm not ready to answer questions yet."

He nodded. "Do you want me to stay for a bit?"

She gave him a thankful look. "Could you? Just for a little while. For… emotional support."

He smiled. "If you want me to. I'm not sure how supportive I'll be, though."

"You doing enough just by being here."

&-&-&-&-&

James was exhausted. He didn't even try to hide it. He and Lily had been patrolling for two hours. Of all the days that he had to attack, he had to go and kill Ryan's family on a bleeding Thursday, which meant that James had to patrol. Which, James had thought before he left for patrolling, would be okay. Ryan hadn't gotten back by the time he left, and maybe he and Lily would find her while they patrolled. No such luck.

All they had found were two couples in broom closets and three random students wandering the corridors. So not only was James exhausted, he was also worried about his friend. He was happy when they reached the common room. He mumbled goodnight Lily before turning towards the stairs leading up. He had his foot on the bottom step when he heard Lily gasp.

"James, come here."

James fought back a groan (it was too late to look at snogging couples) and walked over to where Lily was standing in front of the couch. He looked down at the sleeping pair without realizing what he was seeing. "At least someone found her." Suddenly, his eyes widened. "Bleeding hell. Wha-"

Lily stifled a giggle at the look on his face. "I think it's safe to say she's in safe hands."

James just shook his head in disbelief. Remus and Ryan were sitting on the couch, both of them fast asleep. If he hadn't known before that they had feelings for each other, he sure knew it then. "Let's leave them," he finally said after a few seconds. "They both need the rest."

Lily nodded, not asking why Remus would need the rest too. "Goodnight, James."

"'Night."

&-&-&-&-&

It took Remus a few minutes to remember where he was. He woke up fully as the night before came rushing back to him. He moved just enough to look at his watch, being careful to not wake Ryan up. It was still early. There was about half an hour before people would start coming down for breakfast.

He looked down at Ryan. She still slept peacefully. He really didn't want to wake her, but he knew he had to. "Love, wake up," he said quietly, shaking her right shoulder gently.

She muttered something he couldn't understand before opening one eye groggily. "Why?"

"Because we have classes to go to," Remus said, smiling slightly.

She groaned and mock glared at him through her open eye. "Only you would say something like that, Rem."

He chuckled. "Well, I don't know about you, but I want a shower."

She sat up with a yawn, opening the other eye. "A warm shower for once? I wouldn't know what to do." Remus could tell she was trying to seem normal, but something in her eyes disagreed. Or maybe it was the lack of something in her eyes.

Remus stood up silently and took her hand, leading her over to the girls' staircase. She walked up the first two steps before turning to face him. The two of them stood in silence for a few minutes.

He looked down at their hands before looking back up at her. "Love, you're going to have to let go of my hand."

Ryan blushed slightly and quickly dropped his hand. "Sorry. I guess I'm just a bit… clingy." She grimaced at the word, making Remus chuckle.

"Not a problem," he told her honestly.

She smiled slightly. "Thanks. For everything." She leaned over and gave him a quick kiss on the cheek before turning and bounding up the stairs.

He stared after her in slight surprise. Finally, he shook his head, smiling. "Expect the unexpected."

By the time he was out of the shower, all of his dorm mates (Sirius and Peter included, the two that usually made it to breakfast ten minutes before Ryan at most) were awake and staring at him.

"Well, well, well," Brandon drawled, smirking slightly. "Look who's back."

"Where were you last night, Moony?" Sirius asked, raising an eyebrow at him.

"Helping a friend," Remus said easily, walking over to his bed. James chuckled knowingly as the others exchanged looks.

"This friend isn't named Ryan Miller, is she?" Shane asked. The seventh year Gryffindor boys actually got along pretty well, and they were always up for teaming up on someone for a little teasing. Usually James or Shane, who had a well-known crush on a Ravenclaw in their year. They rarely teased Remus, but sometimes you just have opportunities that you can't pass up.

"Could be."

James chuckled again. "You shouldn't help someone in the middle of the common room, you know." He dodged a pillow, laughing. "Anyone could walk in and see you."

"Oh, did helping this friend involve snogging?" Sirius asked joyfully. He received a pillow in the face.

"Shut up, Padfoot."

&-&-&-&-&

As soon as she was sure she was out of sight, Ryan stopped and leaned against the wall. She slid to the floor with a groan, burying her face in her hands. What was wrong with her? She'd been so… clingy. Like she needed his help. She hated that. Needing someone's help. Yes, he had been great. Comforting her, listening to her, not overreacting about Voldemort…

She wasn't acting like herself, that was for sure. Yeah, Danny dying had been horrible. Seeing it had been worse. But she would've felt better if she could do something about it. As it was, all she wanted to do was crawl into bed and cry all over again. She felt like that was the only thing she could do. But crying never did anyone any good, and it definitely wouldn't bring him back.

And what was going on with Remus anyway? He had called her love. Twice. He never called her that. Sirius did all the time (when he was pretending to flirt with her), James did occasionally, but Remus never did (and she would set Peter on fire if he even thought about calling her that).

Of course, she'd never kissed him up until two days ago either. And now she was suddenly kissing him on the cheek. And smiling whenever he smiled, whether she actually felt like smiling or not. And feeling proud of herself for making him laugh. And…

She knew she was avoiding thinking about what she really should be thinking about, but she didn't care. She wasn't going to think about it if she could avoid it. Thinking about it would only make her depressed, and then everyone (well wishers, all of them, but annoying all the same) would start pestering her about whether or not she was `okay'. That was dumb question in itself anyway. Her family just gotten killed by Voldemort. Was she supposed to be okay?

No. She wasn't. There were all kinds of people that didn't want her to be okay. Death Eaters and Voldemort worshippers who wanted her upset. Her `admirers' that wanted proof that she was more human. Probably even, subconsciously, her friends just to prove that she wasn't always happy.

Ryan shook the last thought away. Of course her friends wanted her to be okay. What was she thinking? They would be there if she needed them. That's what they were there for.

She banged her head against the wall behind her. She was thinking too much. She always did that around that time. Her body might be tired, but her brain would move faster. Usually blurring things together so that, if she said any of her thoughts out loud, they wouldn't make even a tiny bit of sense.

She sighed before standing up. Whenever she moved, there was a dull pain in her lower back. She needed to see Pomfrey, and badly. But it would have to wait. The longer she avoided her friends, the more questions there would be. Besides, she didn't feel like avoiding them anymore. She needed to tell them, to explain to them. Now or never.

She opted for now.

-----------------------------------------------------------------

A/N- Sorry for waiting forever to update, I honestly forgot that I hadn't updated. But here it is. This is the real chapter where everything happens anyway. Or starts to happen. Or whatever, just read it and review please. ^_^

-->