Chapter 8- Guilt and Confessions
"Someone looks guilty this morning," Ryan said cheerfully, plopping into the seat next to Remus. "What did you do this time?"
Sirius smiled innocently. "Do? Me? I haven't done anything. Really, Wheat, you should have more faith in me and-"
"Oh, stuff it," she said, laughing. "I don't want to hear it. It's too early in the morning for your B.S. And, no, that wasn't me accidentally getting your initials backwards."
Sirius just shook his head sadly. "Between you and Evans, Wheat, the world would be full of… cynics." Remus snorted, and Sirius ignored him. "I'm not doing anything wrong. What makes you think that?"
"Because I've known you for the past eleven bleeding years. I think I know you well enough by now to know when you're up to something."
"But you didn't see me for seven of those years. How do you know I haven't changed?"
"Your name's still Sirius Orion Black, isn't it?"
"See, there you go! Cynical. I could have changed for all you know. But you'd never believe it." He shook his head. "You and Evans should really start a club-"
"Double stuff it, Sirius," Ryan said as she grinned. "And no, I'm not talking about Oreos." (AN- Were Oreos around in the `70s? Me thinks they were.)
"What the hell's an Oreo?"
"If it makes you feel any better, I dunno what he's up to either," James said, looking like he still couldn't believe his best friend wouldn't tell him what he was up to.
"Oh." Ryan shot Sirius a mock glare before grinning. "In that case, where'd you get the chocolate and how can I get some too?"
Sirius grinned and popped a Bertie Bott's bean into his mouth. "No chocolate. I've got some ear wax I'll be willing to share, though."
"Ew, no thanks. I'll pass."
Sirius winked at her. "Thought so."
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Okay, I know that's it's technically Morgan or Alice's turn, but I had to make a confession. I lied. Not about anything earth shattering, not about anything drastic, not about anything that would really piss anyone off. I just… lied. Pure and simple. Wow, that felt good to get off my chest.
Now, you're probably wondering what I lied about. Because you really can't just walk up to someone, informed them that you lied, and then walk away, can you? Well… there's a couple of things, actually…
The first thing I lied about was being an Animagus. I'm not really. I can turn into a Phoenix naturally with my powers. I was just born that way. Remus knows that, and James might, but the others don't. That's not really a big deal, though. Just something I like to keep to myself.
The next thing I lied about was Lily and James' relationship. Or future relationship, really. But what was I supposed to say? "Oh, yeah, by the way, Lily, you'll fall for James in seventh year. Try not to fight it, alright?" Yeah, that would've gone over well.
Not bleeding likely.
And it wasn't like I ever tried to find out on purpose or anything. It just… happened. It does that sometimes. When I meet a new person, I suddenly have a flash of their future (that's why Fawkes tends to burst into flames if it's near that time when a new student comes to visit Dumbledore - he's weak and he just can't handle a vision right then).
The first time I met Lily, I just had this sudden flash of her future. And the image I got just happened to be of her and James- an older Lily and James, to be specific- kissing. Odd and disturbing, right? I had just met the girl, and suddenly I'm picturing her snogging one of my best mates? Great mental image. Not.
But, then again, if she knew that it was going to happen, she might not be fighting it as much. Or she might be fighting it even more. You just never know with Lily. So I just kept it to myself. I get to say I told you so later, though.
The last thing… isn't really a lie. I just didn't tell the guys something I probably should have told them a long time ago. Dumbledore knows. He knows that Peter, Sirius, James, and I sneak out on the full moons and go help Remus. He knows that Sirius, James, and Peter are all Animagi. Illegal Animagi.
But he also knows that we do it to help a friend, and he lets it go. He's pretty cool about that. He'll let you get away with things a lot faster if he knows that you're doing it to help someone else. Someone deserving. Which we are, aren't we? It's not as if we became- they became illegal Animagi to help out the Death Eaters or something.
So, as a review, I've lied about Lily and James' future relationship (knowing about it, I mean), about being an Animagus, and about Dumbledore knowing what we do on the full moon. There. Now you know.
Oh, yeah. I almost forgot. One more thing. You know that big matchmaking scheme I promised everyone? I'll let you in on a little secret. My plan is to do abso-bleeding-lutely nothing. You want to know why? Because she's already falling for him. Why should I do work my arse off if she's already heading in that direction without my help? Remus, Sirius, and Peter and Morgan and Alice can handle it on their own. Well, Sirius might need to be watched carefully, but the others I trust completely. Or at least most of the others.
Psh. And they said they needed my help.
-Rye
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"But Professor-"
"I said no, Potter."
"Professor, she can't help it," James said almost pleadingly. "She's the best Seeker in this bloody school-" McGongall opened her mouth to correct him, but he rushed on. "Sorry, won't happen again. She's the best Seeker in this school. And she's going to be sick. I'm just asking for a day or two, at most. All she needs is a couple of days to get over her… `sickness,' and she'll be fine!"
"Potter," McGongall said sharply, cutting James off again. "Do you realize that I have had four people within the last three days make the exact same request you are? Four people, Potter, and all of them were on the Quidditch team. They either have no faith in your persuasion abilities, or they were asked to ask me. I shall tell you the exact same thing that I told the four of them. I have no control over the times of the matches."
"But you have to have some say in it," James said before she could stop him.
She glared at him. "No, I don't. Now I will tell you something I did not tell the other four. Madame Hooch agrees with your opinion of Miss Miller's abilities as a Seeker. I do not believe it would take very much persuasion to have her change the date. You know where her office is."
"Oh." James blinked before smiling innocently. "Thank you, Professor. Sorry to have bothered you." He turned to go, but McGongall called him back.
"Potter, do you have a reserve yet?"
"Yes, Professor. Anthony Underwood agreed yesterday. We're having practice this afternoon to see how well he fits in with the team."
McGongall nodded. "Very well. And Potter?" James turned back to her again. "You and Miss Evans are getting along then?"
"Er… Yeah, I guess. I mean… Yes. We are, Professor."
"One last thing, Potter." James turned back again, resisting the urge to roll his eyes. "You must not lose to Slytherin. Professor Clearing would be unbearable if you did."
James grinned. "We aren't planning on it, Professor."
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"How are we going to convince her?" Peter asked, frowning.
"Leave that up to me, Wormtail," Sirius said confidently. "I'll handle it. You just need to find her."
"She's in the library," Ryan said, sitting backward in one of the empty chairs at their table in the common room. Peter looked at her, startled and slightly annoyed, but Sirius didn't even blink. "So what do you have for me?" she asked Sirius. "Tricking her to be in a certain place at a certain time? Showing her all kinds of proof that James is really a good guy? I'm not locking any doors, if that's part of your plan. Although I highly discourage it. I enjoy having a head, thank you."
"I don't think we should include you at all," Sirius said, tipping his chair back on two legs. "You told us you would come up with a plan, but you never did. Why should we ask for your help now?"
"Oh, but see, that was my plan," she said, grinning. "I'm too lazy to come up with my own idea, and you seem to be doing well enough. Just don't tell Remus that. He's against you planning this, for obvious reasons. Actually, now that I think of it, I'm kind of against you planning this. But for the sake of laziness."
"We don't need your help," Peter informed her coolly.
Sirius waved him aside. "She's offering, Wormtail. She'd have an easier time of it than we would." He turned to Ryan. "Can you convince her to come to Quidditch practice?"
Ryan snorted. "Next thing you know, you'll be asking me to convince her to get on a broomstick." Sirius smirked and started to open his mouth, but Ryan cut him off. "Alright, I'll see what I can do. No promises, of course."
"Of course."
"She'll probably say no." Ryan frowned thoughtfully for a second before smiling to herself and nodding. "If she doesn't agree to it, I've got a back up plan. I'll need you to keep James in the locker room for a while."
Sirius frowned. "Why?"
"I'll explain if we get there. Which we, hopefully, won't. I'll see to you at practice, then?"
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"Hi," Ryan said cheerfully, sitting in the only empty chair at the table where Alice, Morgan, and Lily were working.
"Hi."
"Hey, Rye."
"'Lo."
"Whatcha workin' on?" Ryan asked in her best American accent. Morgan snorted, Alice looked at Ryan and shook her head, and Lily just rolled her eyes.
"Homework. The thing most people work on in the library."
"Just wondering," Ryan said easily. "I've worked on things other than homework in the library before. Written letters, read, planned pranks. The options are just endless-"
"What do you want, Rye?" Alice asked not impatiently.
Ryan grinned. "I was wondering… Today's the first Quidditch practice with the whole team, you see, and since none of you have ever come to a practice when I've been on the team, I was wondering if you guys wanted to come."
Lily's head snapped up. "Why?"
Ryan shrugged. "I dunno. The guys always come, but you three never come. It won't be that bad, I promise."
"But-" Morgan stopped when Ryan shot her a significant look. "Oh. Okay. I need a break from Potions anyway. What do you think, Alice?"
"I think it could be fun," Alice said agreeably.
Lily looked between the three of them in shock. Ryan gave her a pleading look. "Oh, no. I don't think so. I hate Quidditch. The only reason I put up with the matches is because of you. No. I'm not giving James Potter another chance to show off."
"He doesn't show off," Ryan said. "He plays his position. Besides, he won't have chance to show off at practice. He'll be teaching Cam and Anthony how to aim. Or something like that. Come on, Lily. It won't kill you. It's not like you still hate him or anything."
"I never hated-"
"Greatly disliked, same difference. You like him now." Lily stared at her, thinking something along the lines of that wasn't how she would have worded it. Ryan grinned and stood up. "Just think about it. I'll see you two later," she added to Morgan and Alice.
Lily looked at the other two, who studiously returned to their homework. "What-" She noticed a slight smile on Morgan's face. "She's scheming against me, isn't she?" Lily demanded.
"You're just being paranoid," Morgan said easily.
"Mm-hm. That's what she told me when I accused her of planning something behind my back."
"Lily, I can honestly say I have no idea what is going on in Ryan's head," Alice said. "I don't know what she's planning. But I do know it won't kill you to go to one practice. She's right, we've never been."
Lily sighed. "Alright. One practice for Rye. But only one. After this, I'm never coming to one of her practices again."
"You might like it and actually want to go again," Morgan said. Lily snorted disbelievingly. "Well, you never know! Expect the unexpected, you know how it goes."
"Yeah. You make it sound like you think I'll enjoy it." Morgan and Alice traded looks. Lily sighed in frustration. "What is up with all of you lately?!"
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"Oy, Miller, you're late!" Mark knocked a Bludger in her direction.
Ryan ducked it and hopped on her broom quickly, shooting up into air quickly to avoid the Bludger. Aubrey hit it away. Ryan turned to James immediately. "Well?"
"Well what?" he asked innocently.
"Well, did you get the match changed?" she demanded.
He smiled slightly. "What would you give me if I did?"
"Relationship help," she said.
"I sure as hell hope you got it changed," Trey said, smirking. "You need all the help you can get."
"You're lucky Madame Hooch thinks you're the most talented Seeker in this school," James said. "She agreed to switch it to February and let Slytherin play Ravenclaw on the 29th instead. Our first match is the 12th of November against Hufflepuff."
"Really?" Ryan squealed and did a quick spiral out of happiness. "Thank you!"
"Don't thank me," James said, shrugging. "Thank…" He trailed off, his eyes on the stands. "Shit." He rounded on Ryan angrily. "What the bleeding hell-"
"Watch you language, Jimmy," she said sweetly. "You're scaring the children." James continued to glare at her. "Lily came because I asked her to. She's not here for you. Act like you normally do, and everything will be fine. You're just being a paranoid git."
"A paranoid git my ass," James snapped. He turned back to the rest of the team. "Alright, guys. Stephanie, Trey, Cameron, and Anthony, get in a circle over there and start passing. Cameron, pass to Stephanie. Anthony, pass to Trey. Always, un-"
"Unless you tell us otherwise, we know," Cameron finished.
James nodded. "I'll be there in a minute. Mark and Aubrey… Hit that bludger back and forth. There's a reason I only took one out. Don't let it hit anybody, and try not to knock each other out of the air. I don't want to have to escort one of you to the hospital wing. Rye, find the Snitch. Go, have fun. Let me know when you have it, I'm timing you. Everybody get to work!"
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"See, Lily?" Morgan said cheerfully. "That wasn't so bad."
"It was better than I thought it would be," Lily admitted reluctantly. Luckily, she didn't see the grins Morgan and Alice traded behind her back. "How long do you think it will take her?"
"It usually takes ten minutes or so," Remus said as the three boys walked over.
Sirius grinned. "And what brings you three lovely ladies-"
"Oh, stuff it, Black," Morgan said. "You know exactly why we're here. Don't play stupid."
Sirius shrugged. "It's the thought that counts. That's what I get for sitting in on the How to Not Be a Prick lessons." He punched Remus. "Told you I wouldn't learn anything."
Ryan walked out of the locker rooms a few minutes later, wringing out her wet hair. "He's all yours, guys," she said cheerfully. (Lily did not, however, miss the smile Ryan sent in Remus' direction.) Ryan turned to Lily. "So? Was it awful? They didn't have to give you CPR or anything, did they?"
"No, they didn't," Lily said. "I survived. It… wasn't nearly as bad as I thought it would be."
"Oh, good." Ryan pulled her still dripping hair back into a ponytail and wrapped a rubber band around it. She made a face. "Crap, I forgot my ring. I have to go back. Anyone want to come?"
"I've seen the inside of the locker rooms," Morgan said. "Once is enough."
"When did you see the locker rooms?" Alice asked.
Morgan grinned. "That's my business. It wasn't the Gryffindor locker room, but I have a feeling they're all the same. And I know you've seen the inside of the locker room." Alice blushed slightly. "But Lily hasn't."
"Come on, Lily," Ryan said, tugging on her arm teasingly. "Once in a life time opportunity."
"Alright," Lily conceded, smiling slightly at Ryan's enthusiasm.
"We'll meet you in the common room," Alice said, waving to them before she and Morgan started back towards the castle.
Ryan dragged Lily into the locker rooms. Lily scrunched her nose at the smell. "Hey, they're locker rooms," Ryan said, shrugging when she saw Lily's face. "No amount of cleaning spells are going to make this place smell nice. Or… look nice either." She motioned to a pile of dirty towels in the corner of the room. "It's because we have to share it with boys."
"I thought you were done," Remus said, looking up from where he was sitting next to Peter on one of the benches along the walls.
Ryan shrugged. "Forgot my ring." She turned to Lily. "Don't move. I'll be right back." She disappeared through one of the two rooms off of the main section.
"Boys' showers," Peter said lazily, motioning to the door on the left. "Girls' showers." He motioned to the door on the right.
There was an explosion from the left one, followed by a yell. "PADFOOT!! I-" The rest was drowned out by the sound of running water and another yell. Lily rolled her eyes. Boys.
Ryan walked out of the girls' showers with a frown on her face. "Neither one of you have seen a ring, have you?"
"Who's looking for a ring?" James asked, walking out of the boys' section with Sirius behind him. Both boys were soaked, and James still had a towel in his hand.
"My ring that my brother gave me," Ryan said, holding up her thumb to prove her point. "I usually don't take it off, but the spell that keeps it from tarnishing was wearing off."
"The silver one with your initials on it?" Remus asked.
Ryan nodded and walked over to the lockers along the wall, opening one. "The one that I'm always wearing." She slammed the locker closed and turned back around. "Merde."
"Do you want us to help you look?" Lily asked as James asked her, "Where do you want us to start?"
Ryan smiled slightly. "I'll look in the girls' showers. Remus, could you look in the boys' showers just in case someone kicked it in there or something? The rest of you… Just look."
Lily looked around the room, wondering where it could be, before turning back to Ryan. Ryan quickly dropped her hands to her side and smiled innocently. "Are you sure you don't need help in the showers?"
Ryan nodded. "They aren't that big, and I already halfway looked for it in there. You just start over there," she pointed to the front wall, "and James can start on the other end or something. Sirius and Pete can do this wall. I just hope it didn't go down the drain."
Everyone studiously started looking. "I bet it's in her pocket," Peter muttered.
"I doubt it," James said. "She always wears it. I don't think I've ever seen her not wearing it since she got it."
"It's not like her to lose it, though," Lily said.
Sirius had a sudden coughing fit. Everyone looked over at him. "Must be getting a cold or something," he said.
A few minutes later, there were two triumphant exclamations. Both people leaned forward to pull it out from under the bench… and Lily pulled away, rubbing her forehead. James rubbed the side of his head with his free hand. "Sorry. I didn't see you."
"Obviously," Lily said. She looked at his face to see a triumphant look, but there was still an apologetic gleam in his eye. For the first time, Lily noticed that his eyes were hazel. She had always thought they were just brown.
"You found it!" Ryan's joyful exclamation made Lily realize that she was staring - at James Potter of all people. She looked away quickly.
"Er… Yeah." James handed the ring to Ryan, grinning. "There you go."
Ryan gave James a one-armed hug. "Thank you!"
"You're welcome," he said easily, standing. He offered a hand up to Lily, and to everyone's surprise (including her own), she accepted it. Ryan was almost beaming. Lily never even thought that it might be because of something other than her ring.
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"Cheers, Fireball," Sirius said that night. "Fantastic. Couldn't have come up with better myself."
"Thank you," Ryan said, mock bowing. The Marauders, minus James, were sitting in the seventh year boys' dorm. They knew James would be back in a few minutes, so they were using the time to talk about him while he wasn't there.
"Did you really lose it?" Remus asked.
"Well," Ryan said slowly, "I really did leave it behind by accident, and it really did fall on the floor by accident. But I knew where it was. How else would I have known to put Lily and James look on that wall? I didn't mean for Lily to really look at him for the first time-"
"A nice addition, though," Sirius said.
Ryan laughed and nodded. "I just meant to show her that he's willing to help other people." She shrugged. "Or something like that."
"Whatever you did, I think it's working," Peter said.
Ryan nodded. "I think so too."
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Leave me lots of reviews, please. `Tis my birthday, you see, and reviews are the best kind of present. ^_^
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