Harry could only watch as Luna moved out of his house. He knew that it was coming, had been for a long time. He knew the reasons for it were simple. He could never be Mary's father, and Luna did not want to give that illusion to her daughter. He agreed to those conditions when she came to live with him. He understood them for what they were. He and Luna were brother and sister. Nothing more. And he could not become a father to Mary if they could not become anymore.
Spring passed quickly for Harry, what with practicing his enchantment skills and working to set up several business with loans. Several people had come to him, asking for help for their businesses. In return for his help, they all offered him a portion of their profits. Which he only needed was more money. With the money gained from their investments, and the Twin's store, Harry began to set up a orphanage for magical children. When word got out to the newspapers, mainly Luna finding out, offers of support came in from all over. Not that it needed it, but the thought was kind. He sent the other support the way of St. Mungo's, letting them deal with the overflow.
"You'll still come and visit?" Mary asked. He gave her a smile. She had asked the question already ten times earlier that day.
"When I can," Harry said. "For the most part though, it'll be you and your mum." Mary nodded, before hugging him tightly around his neck. She let go of him before running out of the house, toward Luna. Harry followed at a slower pace, knowing Luna wanted to say one last goodbye.
"Thank you." Luna looked at him for a moment before nodding.
"You don't need to thank us for staying." Luna said. "But its time for you to move on."
"Don't you mean you two?" Harry asked. He knew what she wanted him to do, she had been pushing him to taking the next stpe for the last few months.
"You need to take a chance Harry." Luna looked at Mary as the little girl climbed into the van. "I want to try and date again. Maybe find a man that I can trust." Her gaze turned toward Harry, a smile gracing her face. "Other than you of course."
"You really think I should?" Harry scratched the back of his head. "Try and work things out a little further."
"You're friends now," Luna said. She hugged him tightly before letting go, kissing his cheek. "Let Fate decide if you should be more again."
"I'm scared," Harry said. "I don't think I'm strong enough to lose her again."
"You won't!" Mary said from the car. Harry looked at the little girl surprised before trying to gauge a response out of Luna.
"Are you two always going to be tossing little bits of my future at me?" Harry smiled at her, taking any anger out of his words. Luna looked back at Mary for a moment before nodding.
"Only when we know you're wrong," Luna said. She left him there, humming a Mont Python song as she walked away. He smiled, knowing that was the song he had enchanted into her jewelry box. A sombre song, but Luna felt that it fit her mood most of the time. That and it was her mother's favorite.
He had come a great deal in the last year. A lot further than he had every thought he'd be. He was back in the wizarding world and repairing his relationship with some of his friends. A lot of them, he refused to speak to, knowing what they had done was too much. The Weasleys still were trying to reach him, though, a year ago that would have never happened. If anything, they were still planning the "wedding" of the century. Another one that Harry would not have gotten an invitation to probably. Lupin and Tonks probably wouldn't have been talking to him still, and he probably would have fallen back on his promise, never getting to see Mary grow up. He'd never have had Hermione back in his life...
He wanted to take that chance, but he knew that for some reason if it did not work, he would not live to see another year. He would break his promise. He would lose everything he gained just to forget the chance of becoming sane again. With a sigh he looked at the setting sun.
Harry knew he was at a cross roads, a crossroad that lead to his salvation or damnation. The problem he was having, was which bridge to cross, which bridge to burn. He had spent a good six years in limbo and another two climbing out of it. All because Hermione was not a part of his life.
Walking swiftly back into the drawing room, he lit the fire with a wave of his hand. He stared at it for over an hour. The sky had grown dark, night had fallen. And yet he still had not made up his mind. That however did not stop him from firecalling her.
He knelt down in front of the fireplace, waiting for Hermione to fully enter the other side of the line. His nerves were frayed, too much patience could kill a man, he decided.
"Harry, everything alright?" Hermione asked. She looked a little tired, but that could have just been the green glow from the fire.
"I was wondering if I could take you out to lunch this weekend," he said. He felt the words rush out of his mouth before he was finished.
"I'd love to," Hermione started. He felt his heart skip a beat and then plummet as she finished. "But I have lunch with my parents on Sunday and Ginny on Saturday."
"Oh," Harry said. The feeling left his body and he felt all thought processes stop.
"What about on Friday or Saturday night?" Hermione asked. Her voice was so small, he thought he had missed her saying it. Or that it was wishful thinking. Her cheeks darkened though, as the fire betrayed the color that had filled them.
"I'd like that," Harry said. He gave her a smile, and felt like taking her hand in his. Which was a silly thought, he couldn't reach through the fire. "There are some things we need to discuss." His thought processes stopped again. Guess he did make a decision. His best ones were usually done without thought. It was when he thought about his problems that only made it worse.
"About us?" Hermione asked. His smile widened at the hope in her voice.
"Yeah," he said, nodding slightly. He felt a weight leave his chest as she giggle softly.
"We better make it Friday then," Hermione said. Two days away. He could handle that. Maybe... "You want to pick me up here, or meet somewhere."
"I'll pick you up there," Harry said. "The place I want to go to you probably don't know too well."
"Fancy?" Hermione asked. He nodded, again wishing he was there with her. He felt awkward kneeling in front of the fire.
"If that's okay with you." Hermione gave him a smile before nodding. He felt his heart flip. Damn thing hadn't done that in near seven years. Not since she lived with him. Best not go there yet. Nothing was confirmed. "So I'll see you Friday then?"
"It's a date," Hermione said. She looked horrified for a moment at her words, at least before Harry spoke.
"So it is," he said. He kept the floo open for another moment, watching as Hermione's face turned a deep color and confusion ran rampart across it. "I'll see you then." He closed the floo before standing up. Stretching his back, he began to hope that he did not just make a big mistake.
I0I
Friday came faster than Harry thought possible. He still had no idea what to say to her, or how to approach anything he wanted. He was lucky to have picked out a restaurant, Le Fey, a newer French cuisine place in Diagon Alley. He had to nearly buy out the whole place to get a level a privacy for him and Hermione. Maybe not buy out the whole place, damn manager just charged him that much for the privacy it seemed. It would be worth it though.
Their 'couples' therapy had finished months ago, yet they still could not stop talking about the past. He knew she was tired of doing that, and tonight was about something 'new.' Or at least a new topic for them: the future.
Fixing his tie once more, he checked himself over in the mirror. The suit was Luna's idea, saying he should be a fancible as possible. He doubted that was a word, but he didn't question Luna. He bought a new suit, tailored rather quickly. There was nothing special about it, even the tie was pretty tame, a dark green to match the vest he wore underneath as well. One last run of his hand through his hair did nothing to calm his nerves as he apparated out of his home.
With a quick pop and squeeze through the ether, Harry stood in front of Hogwarts. "you still have no idea what you're going to do," he muttered to himself.
"What are you going to do, Mr. Potter?" He spun in direction of the voice, nearly fall over. He hoped he was going to fall over because of his lack of balance, not because Hermione was drop dead gorgeous. Which she was, but then he would be even further gone than he thought.
"I have absolutely no idea," Harry managed to get out. He stared at her for several seconds, wondering if she had been poured into that dress.
Hermione wore strapless green dress that hugged curves closer than rain on a window. The shawl she had covered her shoulders, with her light brown hair falling softly onto the shawl. He skipped over her torso and chest, because if he stopped and looked there, he'd be staring until she slapped him. She looked taller, and he let his eyes travel down to her legs. High heels. He had seen the purpose of those in the women at the clubs he went to. They aided Hermione beautifully. Tonight was going to be a long time, and the smile that creep over his face showed how much he was going to love it.
"Wow," Harry let out.
"Wow, now is that a good 'wow' or a bad one," Hermione asked. She took a step closer. She wasn't completely stable in those shoes, probably because she never wore them much, even when they were dating.
"Wow, as in, holy crap my best friend is smokin'," Harry said. She laughed at this, a hand covering her mouth as a blush covered her cheeks. He blushed and looked away, embarrassment flooding him.
"Thank you," she said finally putting her hand back down. He finally looked at her again, knowing that she like his statement. And happy that she took it as the compliment it was. She gave him a once over before speaking again, her voice nervous. "You look good too." Harry smiled, happy to see her return it.
"Ready?" he offered his arm, though he had not thought to. She took it, her hand warm against his elbow. "On the count of three. One "
"Two" Hermione smiled as she spoke. He felt that damn flutter again. If his heart kept up, he might have a heart attack before even telling her why he wanted all this. Irony upon irony, it was because of her and what she did to him that he wanted to talk about.
"Three." His magic surrounded them, drawing them through the ether and to the apparation point outside Le Fey. Hermione gave him a smile and his arm a squeeze as they landed.
"You make it look so easy," she said as he lead them through the door.
"What?" he said.
"Apparation." He raised an eyebrow, though he did not say anything. What was difficult for some, was relatively easy for him at times. He shrugged his shoulders, letting the silence surround them. It was only then he heard Hermione gasp. Guess she figured out where they were finally.
"Think this place is okay?" Harry asked with a chuckle in his throat. She nodded, holding onto his arm tighter as little fairy lights danced around the room, giving a soft glow to the place. The tables were set up intimately, with enough space and probably a silencing charm around them to stop any of the conversations from reaching outside ears. While normally that would be fine, Harry still felt they deserved a little more privacy than that.
"Right this way please," the maitre'de said. He led them through the restaurant. Hermione's hand stayed lcoked to his elbow as they walked, her eyes darting around to catch everything and anything. Harry felt like doing the same, but he just couldn't tear his eyes off of her.
Once shown to their table, Harry let the maitre'de go. He wanted to be the one who did the work tonight, not someone else. Pulling out her chair for her, Harry gave Hermione a smile, urging her to sit. Her eyes were still dancing around the room, looking at the paintings and murals upon the wall.
"You ready for dinner?" Harry asked. She snapped out of whatever thought she was lost in, blushing as she looked at him. She took the offered seat without a word, smiling at him as he sat down across from her.
"This place is amazing," she finally said as began to look at the menu placed in front of him. Great. Wines. He closed the menu, turning to look at Hermione. She was glowing right now, and while he wanted to attribute it solely to her smile and eyes, he knew that the fairies dancing around them added to her beauty. "How did you manage to get us a table here on such short notice?"
He raised an eyebrow at this before cocking smile. Now this was a good story. "I first flooed, asking if I could get a table. Not only was the man who took my call a jerk, told me that there was a three month waiting list." he shook his head, making what he hoped was an affronted face. Hermione giggled, his desired outcome. "So I 'popped' over, and showed my face to the host on duty. Asked for the guy who answered my call and the manager." He looked up and smiled at Hermione as a basket of freshly baked bread rolls floated in front of them and onto the table. "You'd be surprised what could be done with some name dropping, statements like "a disgruntled review for the Quibbler" and the name Harry Potter can do. Not to mention how much I offered for tonight."
"Harry, you really didn't have to do all this," Hermione said. She reached across, taking his hand in hers. The heat between the two hands felt nice and he squeezed her hand, wanting to hold onto it a little bit more.
"I wanted to," he said. "And you're worth it. So stop questioning this, and enjoy it. We've got good food, in a good atmosphere, and even better company. What more could I ask for?" Hermione blushed as she picked up the menu in front of her. She looked at it for a moment before placing it back down as their waiter, though Harry would guess the man was actually the manager, came to begin their dinner.
"Good evening. My name is James. I shall be your server this evening. What wine have you selected?" the man said as he approached. Harry opened his mouth, ready to ask her which kind she wished, knowing it did not matter to him. Well it mattered, cause the want still called for it, but he wasn't going to give in. Not tonight. Not again.
"We won't be having any," Hermione said. She held up the menu for the man to take, giving Harry a dazzling smile. He barely registered James still standing there shocked. He knew the wine list was extensive and had something for any type of meal.
"Hermione, its okay, get what you want," Harry said. He leaned forward, unsure as to her response. "It doesn't matter the price."
"There are more important things than money, Harry," Hermione said. Her gaze was stern, reprimanding him for something. This must be the teacher face in full force. He had seen glimpses of it while they were at school, but really, a weaker man would have crumbled under it. Or at least Harry hoped so, because he sat back and shut up. Her eyes softened as she stared at him. "Nothing good ever came for either us by drinking. I gave it up a long time ago as well. It cost me my best friend." There were tears in her eyes. He reached out and took her hand in his, giving her what measure of comfort he could.
"Get us a list of all of your non-alcoholic drinks," Harry said. He turned away from Hermione, looking directly at the waiter. He was after all, waiting on them to make a decision. "If you don't have any, go out and get some."
"Yes sir." The man fled the room, and Harry turned back to Hermione, giving her a smile before chuckling. She began to giggle and it wasn't before long that they both were laughing. Harry hadn't felt this good in a long time. Maybe his gut was right after all. It did follow his heart all the time.
They fell into a comfortable silence, or at least, Harry felt like that was what it was. "Thank you," Harry said. Hermione cocked her eyebrow, questioning him. "For coming here with me, for being so patient."
"About what?"
"With me," Harry gave her a smile, knowing that it would take a moment and...yep she figured it out. "Are you okay with this?"
"You mean us?" Hermione asked. Her gaze centered on the table before them, but he could make out the red on her cheeks.
"Yeah, I guess I do," Harry said. "For a long time, I was worried about what would happen if we got together and it failed." He let his gaze drop to the flowers before them, not wanting to look at her, his shame present on his face. "I didn't know if I would be strong enough to stand on my own if this, if we failed again. It was like I had made the decision before it even happened."
"What changed your mind?" Hermione asked. He looked at her. That wasn't the only question on her mind. There would be more, but this one seemed to be the most important one for her.
"Mary and Luna did actually," Harry said. "Both made the comment that it was up to Fate, God or whoever if we were to be together. And they both said we would."
"Seers?" Hermione asked. He shrugged his shoulders.
"Whether they are or not, it really doesn't matter." He reached across the table and took her hand in his. "What matters is that they got me to think, do I want to lose you, before I even had you again? Do I want to give up and stop living because I didn't want to get hurt? No, I want to live, and I want to learn again what it means to have you a part of that. A part of my life."
"As something more?" She smiled at him, squeezing his hand as a little warmth rushed through him.
"If you want to, I'm not going to complain," Harry said. She nodded, as if affirming something to herself.
"What if we get into an argument? And I go off and be mad for a while?" Hermione asked. "Are you going to let everything go again and blame me for it?" Harry sat back, surprised. He knew this question was coming, he had felt it. He just wasn't expecting it now. "I'm not going to get into a relationship where I have to be on my toes to make sure I never upset you. Things don't work that way Harry, they never do. That's what started a lot of our problems to begin with. Thinking that they will just go away if we play nice.
"I want to be able to yell at you Harry. To get into a fight because of something stupid and then have great makeup sex because of it." She took a breath here, looking like she was trying to hold back her blush. Harry knew she was right, but he wasn't about to get a word in edgewise. "Couples fight Harry. Its all apart of setting boundaries and figuring out what to do next. Compromise and concede. Couples do these things so they can grow stronger. I think what gave Ronald his foot in the door was the fact that we never did."
"Not talking about things," Harry said. Girard's sessions had helped bring a get deal of their relationship to light, and gave him good ground to rebuilt upon. Hermione nodded before continuing.
"If we're ever going to work Harry, we have to be able to fight, to cry, hell to talk about our problems," Hermione said.
"I'm game if you are," Harry said. He knew what this would take, it had been the crux of his problem. Would she want to work at something new? He should have known her response. "This won't be like last time, where we just slip into the relationship, were it felt natural. But I think that if we both work at it, we can have something better then what we had before. Something stronger.
"Something warmer?" Hermione offered. He gave her a smile, knowing that he had let his job come between them. He let responsibilities come between what matter most and him.
"Warmer, happier, better." Harry said. He reached across the table, pulling her hand to him. She leaned over the table, following her hand. Leaning up, he kissed her lips lightly, knowing anymore would end dinner for them earlier than planned. Happier, but earlier. Her eyes fluttered opened as he pulled back, sitting in his chair.
"You are such a tease, Potter," Hermione said. She was still leaning over the table and sat back moments later.
"Me, look at what you're wearing," Harry said with a laugh. "I hope you know that you're lucky I've got a strong will. Otherwise my conversations would be directed at your breasts." She tried to glare at him, but began to giggle. "Seriously, you look beautiful. You always have."Her face softened but she was prevented from responding. James their waiter was back.
"Here is the list that you requested, Mr. Potter," James hurriedly handed him the list. Harry took a few moments to look at it before handing it to Hermione. She looked at it much longer than he did, though, she probably didn't know he was trusting her to pick something out. Everything just sounded too exotic for him to understand.
"We'll have the Hibiscus Lemonade please," Hermione handed back the menu and didn't give the man a second glance as he left. "You're okay with that?" Her voice wasn't nervous, just curious.
"I would have said otherwise if not," Harry said. "These past few months Hermione have not just been about fixing our friendship, you know that right?"
"It was about learning to trust me again wasn't it?" She frowned at this. Although the truth, he knew she didn't like it, not just by the look on her face. It didn't sit well with him either, but that was how things were. He felt betrayed and maybe he was or wasn't; he had to learn how to trust her again.
"And having you learn that you could trust me with your problems about me," Harry said. "I may not be the best place to talk about them, but I can't fix what I don't know.
"So you had to learn to trust me again, and I had to learn to trust you," Hermione said. They sat there for several minutes, not speaking. Harry kept going over in his mind, anything else, any other reason not to date Hermione again. He felt his body relax as he came to the conclusion that he did want to try again, to try and remake their relationship. Not just as lovers, but as friends. Warmth spread from his hand up to his body, and only then did he realize he was holding her hand.
James brought their drinks to them, and they took them without moving their gaze from each other. Harry didn't know which one of them smile first, but it was he that raised his glass. "To friendship."
"To books and cleverness." Hermione added.
"To bravery and courage."
"To love."
"To our love," Harry finished. Their glasses touched, and he would have like to look back and say that he enjoyed the drink. It would have been a lie. He enjoyed the smile on Hermione's face as she placed her glass on the table and leaned across table. He met her halfway kissing once again. He was right. Things were getting better and he had no more doubt for his future. If they would fight, they would fight, but he had Hermione back in his life. The future looked bright indeed.
A/n: One more chap, the epilogue is due out tomorrow or so. No later than Friday. It will be out before they release the book here to that's all I got to say. Thanks for your patience.
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