Before I continue with the second chapter, I'd like to clear something up that Mythica brought to my attention. Seamus and Parvati were NOT going up there to shag. More of a heated lip-lock thing, Harry and Ron were just being considerate and didn't want to interrupt. Just thought I'd fix that little blurry part.
I'm terribly sorry, but I spelled Parvati's name wrong in the first chapter! *embarrassed blush*
(thanks to Cool 'n' Casual for pointing that out.) Sorry!
Also- I swear to God this is a H/Hr story: do you think Harry would put up with his best friend getting the love of his life? With his help??
I don't think so.... which is why Harry takes his advice and puts it all backwards! I've said enough. Here's the second chapter!
*kisses*
lil_irish_girl
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Oh my God, Ron Weasley is a goddamn dead man.
All Harry could do was stare at Ron. Things were going through his head a mile a minute.
He can't love Hermione! I do!!! I could steer him wrong, but that goes against my morals.... aw, screw the damn morals, this is Hermione we're talking about!...... I'll tell him the OPPOSITES of what women- especially Hermione- want! Dude, you are a genius!
"OK," Harry said, feigning patience. "Tell me what you like about her."
"I like the way she bites her pencil when she's thinking. I like how she doesn't care when people make fun of her, or when her hair goes everywhere." Ron was practically bouncing up and down in his chair. "And... I love the way she says my name." he finished with a sigh, falling backwards semi-dramatically with his eyes closed.
Back the hell off, buddy, she's mine. Harry thought. Then he noticed that Ron was still daydreaming. "Ron!" Harry sounded irritated.
"Yeah, she says it just like that," the red head said dreamily, his eyes still closed.
Harry sighed. "No, I meant focus if you want my advice on how to get Hermione." he was repulsed by what he was saying. Ron's attention was caught, however, and he sat straight up, looking eagerly at Harry.
"Yeah?"
"Well," Harry started, trying not to punch Ron very hard in the mouth. "Girls like Hermione aren't very interested in dating in general, so you have to be a little more secretive. Oh yeah, a quick point of reference-" Opposites, opposites, opposites... "-the girls think it's hot when you totally dominate the conversation. Let them listen, you talk."
"OK." Ron was taking mental notes. We talk, they listen. "How do I get her on the first date with me?"
She'd never go out with a guy as thick as you. Harry thought smugly. "To get the first date set up, you need to do something simple... ask her to help you with your homework in the library, which she's going to say yes to because you guys are best friends."
"Potential lovers." Ron said absent-mindedly, staring at the ceiling. Harry's eyes widened.
You lay a finger on her and I'll make sure it's the last damn thing you ever touch.
"OK, so to when you two are in the library," Opposites, opposites, opposites... Harry used his hands to air-quote the word. "'Accidentally' brush your leg against hers a few more times than once. But make it look like you're trying to do it, confusing them always works."
Confuse them. "What else?"
Opposites, opposites, opposites, let's see... Girls don't like pick-up lines. "Girls love pick-up lines. When you're in the library, try a few like "Is it hot in here or is it just me?", "Do you know karate? Cause your body is kickin'." and stuff like that. You can probably improvise for part of it."
Pick-up lines. "Any last thing you forgot to mention?"
Girls don't like to be stared at. "Yeah, stare at her. Girls feel special if they know they're being looked at. When she's done helping you, ask her to go to Hogsmeade with you on Saturday."
Stare, Hogsmeade. "OK. Thanks Harry!" Ron left. As soon as he did, Harry started laughing as quietly as possible.
"This is gonna be so hilarious!" Harry was ecstatic. "I've got to watch this under my Invisibility Cloak!"
And he proceeded to do just that.
FRIDAY NIGHT: THE LIBRARY
"It it hot in here or is it just me?" Ron asked as sexily as possible, staring at Hermione the entire time. She glanced up from the book she was reading long enough to look at Ron worriedly.
"I suppose it is a little hot in here." she said. "Maybe you should go to the Hospital Wing and see Madame Pomfrey?"
Thatta girl, Hermione. Harry thought from his safety spot- the table next to Ron and Hermione, hidden underneath his Invisibility Cloak. This is going just as planned.
Ron "accidentally" brushed his leg against hers. "I don't think that will be necessary." his voice sounded throaty and came out in a whisper. "I've got the smartest witch at Hogwarts right here."
Oh dear God, he did NOT go there.
Hermione blushed. "Thank you, R-" she was cut off when the red head brushed his leg against hers again. "What's under the table?" Hermione stuck her head underneath it to find the non-existent offender. "It keeps brushing against my leg!" she resurfaced and began reading again, brushing a few stray strands of hair out of her face. "Ron? What are you staring at?" Hermione just noticed that he had been looking at her intently the whole time.
"Just something," he responded breathlessly.
"Do I have something on my face?" Hermione asked half hysterically, her hand flying up to her cheek, the corner of her mouth, and any other place she thought what Ron was staring at was located.
"No, you don't have anything on your face." Ron brushed his leg against hers for a third time.
"WHAT IS IT WITH THAT BLOODY THING UNDER THE TABLE?!" Hermione practically screamed. "Is it brushing against your leg, too, Ronald??"
"Not exactly." He was inching closer to Hermione's face.
No, no, no, no, NO! He is NOT going to try to kiss her!
"You know you've got great eyes, Hermione. They're like two crystal clear pools of blue." Ron was staring at her mouth, however.
Harry started laughing, but soon caught himself by putting his hand over his mouth. Oh dear Merlin, how is she going to respond???
"Um, Ron?" she began, stifling her laughter like Harry. "My eyes are brown."
"That's what I meant." Ron was still staring at her mouth. "Two crystal clear pools of mud."
Wrong!
"My eyes are... that doesn't work, Ron. Mud isn't crystal clear. Ron? Ron!"
"Huh?" Ron was pulled out of his stupor by Hermione placing her hand on his chin and forcing him to look at her eyes. Her brown eyes.
"You said my eyes were two crystal clear pools of mud."
"Did I?" Ron was still in a daze. "You've got a great mouth."
Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god. No he didn't! He wasn't paying attention to what she was saying!
"Ron? Aren't I supposed to be helping you with your homework?"
"Such a lovely mouth." Ron was out of it.
Hermione sighed. "You know what? I have to go. There's something I need to talk about with Parvati. Bye, Ron."
The red head came back to Earth when he saw that she was leaving.
"Hermione, wait!" she stopped and turned around.
"Yes?"
"Will you... erm, that is, would you like to... go to Hogsmeade with me tomorrow?"
Hermione froze, then gave him a small smile. "Sure, Ron, I'll go to Hogsmeade with you tomorrow." then she left.
Why didn't that work? Harry asked himself. Why did she say yes? She was supposed to say no! No, no, no!!! Ugh, this sucks. He snuck out of the library and back up to the common room. Five minutes later, Ron skipped through the portrait hole to find Harry lying on the couch, his eyes closed.
"Hey, mate?" Ron asked, pushing Harry a little. "You awake?"
"I am now." Harry sat up. "So how did the whole thing with Hermione go? What happened?"
"Everything went perfectly," Ron lied. Harry fought back a snicker. "I didn't say anything wrong.
How can he lie to my face? Harry thought. "And what did she say when you asked her to Hogsmeade tomorrow?"
"She said she'd love to." was the response.
I wonder what else he's been lying to me about, perhaps that girlfriend he had in Romania when he went with Charlie?
"OK, now I'll fill you in on how to act on your date at Hogsmeade later tonight." Harry said. "Right now I've got to go to the library to look something up in a book."
"Alright, later HP!"
Desperate times call for desperate measures. Harry thought as Ron went up to the dormitory. I've got to screw Ron up on how to date a girl. End of story. Oh, why do these kinds of things have to be so fucking hard???
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Tadaa! Second chapter up! Hope you guys liked it! I will have Ron & Hermione's date at Hogsmeade on the next chapter, with in-depth details of EVERYTHING, including how Harry spies on them! Just to give you a quick sneak peek, in the next chapter there's gonna be:
~A date
~Too much "accidental" touching, and maybe a smack or two ;)
~A woman who's really a man
AND
~Flirting between Harry&Hermione! At long last!
Review please!!! I'm encouraged to update when I get reviews! Constructive criticism is welcomed! I love you all!!
lil_irish_girl