Chapter 3---Dreams
The next few days went past in a blur to Harry. He and Janie had gone back to his house and done some visiting to friends and Professor/Headmistress McGonagall. He thought about Hermione at least a dozen times a day and was determined that what happened was a one time thing. Ever since he came down the stairs that following morning with Hermione already at the table, Mr. and Mrs. Weasley had been giving them strange looks. He didn't think he was acting any differently towards Hermione or Ben, but maybe there was some type of nonverbal communication going on he couldn't control. After packing up his and Janie's items he hugged his in-laws goodbye, gave Ben a "big bear hug" and what he thought was a good, platonic hug to Hermione and had headed back to his house.
While visiting Neville and dropping off some baby clothes for them that Janie had outgrown (Neville and Luna were two months away from their first son) they had asked how he and Hermione were. He had told them that they were doing well and had even gone out to dinner. Luna had adopted her dreamy look at that moment and made the comment, "You are two peas in a pod and pretty soon the shell will open and you will see the light." Harry was used to such crazy comments but Neville still shook his head at her, which got him pushed off the sofa in the process. He hadn't quite grasped the #1 rule of "WHAT TO DO IF YOUR WIFE IS PREGNANT" which was to agree and/or nod your head at everything she says or asks. Harry had just laughed and helped Neville up off the floor. Luna had thoroughly enjoyed playing with Janie and trying to explain that the baby in her stomach was not a doll named Wendy.
That evening, the fourth one since he had last seen Hermione (but who was counting?) and the second one since had heard
from her--about a recent fall Ben had taken that had given him a nice bruise, Janie asked a question he thought he
would never hear from an 18 month old. She was very verbal as most of the Weasley children were at this age.
"Daddy, me want baby brother." She was sitting on his lap, getting a story for bedtime and Harry just froze.
"Ummm…why?" he asked so he could stall for the perfect answer to drop from the sky into his head.
"Me and Ben can play with." Well, that was something else he wasn't sure he was ready to hear.
`Me and Ben? Does she think he's her brother?' Harry wondered to himself.
Even though they called him "cousin" many times, she never had said that word.
"Well, maybe someday far down the road, but you won't be getting a baby brother anytime soon, Jane." Harry picked up the book and made a move to start reading again.
"Why?" she cocked her head and looked up at him.
`Dammit!' Harry thought, his brain working wildly. `We are into the WHY stage now. Ginny I could really use you now!' he thought to himself and as if his prayers were answered, a response popped into his mind.
"You need to be older," Harry said, mildly surprised at the words that came out of his mouth. Janie scrunched up her nose, in a very Hermione-esque way, which meant she was thinking.
"Okay," her little voice sounded doubtful but for the moment she seemed satisfied. A small miracle.
"Now, daddy…book!" she settled back against him and he mentally thanked Ginny because that would have been the sort of thing she would have said to detour the line of questioning.
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Harry looked down after he finished the book and saw Janie had fallen asleep with her head against his chest. Carefully, he laid it down next to the chair and stood up with his daughter cradled in his arms. For a moment he just gazed at her beautiful sleeping face. He felt the pressure of tears behind his eyes, feeling the fierceness of his love for her.
He finally understood what his parents must've felt moments before their death and it never failed to make his breath catch in his throat as he blinked back tears. Her dark lashes lay softly upon her fair skin and her hair was getting so long, it was starting to curl at her shoulders. Sometimes, he had to remind himself she was only 18 months, not three years old. He brushed a kiss across her forehead and laid her in her bed quietly putting up the bed rail. He cracked the door to her room and tiptoed down the stairs to watch some TV. He was still in the habit of watching the news every night--which started years ago when he would lay outside the window at the Dursley's and listen to the news through the open window.
Harry settled into his chair and with a wave of his hand, he went directly to the channel he knew would have the local news in a half hour and proceeded to watch some sitcom, that wasn't funny, without really seeing it. His thoughts drifted towards Ginny, amazed how he could finally think of her without feeling like he was going to break down into tears. He was able to talk to Janie about her a bit this afternoon after she found their wedding picture and asked about it. Janie seem enraptured with the story of Harry marrying Ginny…Janie would wave back at the photo as the happy couple waved.
Then Janie asked who "that boy was with `Aunt Mi-o-ne". She called him "Old Ben" because he and his son closely resembled each other. This naturally turned Harry's thoughts to Hermione.
The other night had been fantastic…even if you took the unexpected shag out of the picture. He hadn't had that much fun since, well, dating Ginny and the more he looked at Hermione that night, the more convinced he became that somehow his feelings had broken free of the cage he kept them in since Ginny's death. They seemed to have a mind of their own, flying in his head, producing images of Hermione in her sleeveless blouse and knee length skirt, her hair streaming down her shoulders. These memories created feelings he hadn't felt in a long time and thought he would never feel for anyone else…ever. During his last year at school, during the engagement and wedding of him and his best friends, he and Hermione's relationship had never changed. They could read each other's slightest facial expression, could sense the other's mood just by the way they picked at the food on their plate, or even from the nonverbal way they would hold their heads when listening to someone.
Harry realized he never had that with Ginny. Every day she would surprise him with a story about school he didn't know, or when he thought something was wrong or that she was upset, she would insist it was nothing; she was just tired from dealing with a baby that wouldn't nap. He could never peg Ginny down and always joked that he learned something new everyday about her. They had many good times like playing Quidditch together, taking walks and talking about the latest news in the Muggle or Magical World. The relationship between him and Ginny versus him and Hermione was vastly different he was realizing.
Harry started drifting off to sleep, tired from the all the playing he and Janie did at the local park. The last thought to cross his mind was that he should really visit the Burrow in the morning.
Ron stared straight into Harry's eyes, reached up with a shaking hand and pulled him down until their noses were almost touching. "Take care of them, Harry. Please." He whispered as Harry tried every spell he could think off to stop the bleeding that was coming from Ron's side. Harry was holding Ginny's head in his lap, tears streaming down his face. "Ron, you'll be ok…" Harry had choked out.
"No…I am ready to go on the next great adventure, mate. Just promise-," Ron closed his eyes then forced them open again, his breathing very shallow, "Protect and watch Ben and Hermione…I love them." His eyes then flicked to his sister. "Ginny?" and with his only sister's name on his lips, he had closed his eyes for the last time and took his last breath, seconds before healers from St. Mungos apparated next to him.
This is normally where Harry's dream would stop and he would bolt upright in bed, tears streaming down his face. However, tonight was different; he didn't wake up but stayed asleep with the TV droning on in the background.
Harry heard Ginny mumbling and he turned his head to find her sitting next to him at St.Mungo's in one of the waiting rooms. He just stared at her, not believing that just a few minutes ago he had said goodbye to her and Ron and yet, here she was.
"How are you, Harry?" she asked like nothing happened. He just stared at her, blinking rapidly and reaching out to touch her, but he couldn't feel the red hair that his fingers sought. "I figured you would be speechless," she gave him a small smile and turned her head to look at a Nurse walking down the corridor while speaking.
"I want you to know I love you and Janie; I want you to do whatever is necessary to give her the best life possible and do whatever you need to do to be happy." She blew him a kiss, something she and Harry had done every day before he would leave for work. Harry blinked and she was gone. He now noticed the noise of the hospital all around him and he turned his head, swearing he just felt someone touch his cheek, but he was alone…
Harry started in his chair and pushed the footrest down, feeling very unsettled.
`At least my scar isn't hurting,' he thought wryly.
He had never had a dream so real, one that affected him so greatly so that he felt nauseous. He needed to talk to Hermione. Taking a few deep breaths, he got up and walked to the fireplace, getting ready to talk to the Weasley house by floo…he couldn't just up and leave Janie by herself. He could cast charms or spells so he could hear her from wherever he was but the Muggle part of him felt guilty doing that.
After talking to Mrs. Weasley, who said Hermione was putting Ben down and that she would relay the message, Harry stood back up and turned to the TV which was just starting the 10pm newscast. He decided he couldn't sit with all the nervous energy so he went into the kitchen, found some biscuits, made two cups of tea and minutes later when he came back out he saw Hermione sitting in his chair.
"You ok?" she immediately asked, accepting the tea he handed to her. Harry sat down in the identical recliner that was a few feet away from her, then got up and started pacing…something he rarely did.
"I fell asleep and had that dream again, but there was more...," he paused and took a sip of the almost scalding liquid, then resumed his pacing.
"It didn't stop when the healers arrived?" Hermione asked softly, never taking her eyes off of him. He shook his head, then stopped and grabbed a biscuit finally sitting down on the sofa, the end nearest to Hermione's chair. He chewed on the biscuit, trying to arrange his thoughts, calm his stomach, then decided to tell her the series of events as it was in his dream. He set his cup down and leaned forward not looking at her, but at his hands clasped between his knees and reiterated what he had just dreamt.
Hermione was silent for a moment and Harry turned towards her, for the first time noticing she was wearing pajamas and that she had the customary "bed time" braids. He had interrupted her and Ben's bedtime-immediately he felt embarrassed. Hermione looked at him for a moment then said something he didn't think he would have heard her say.
"I had one like it too, with Ginny talking to me but in my dream it was at the Burrow." She furrowed her eyebrows together as she took a sip, trying to connect everything she had read about dreams to what she and Harry were talking about.
"Ginny said to me, and I remember it because it was something I never thought she would say to ME, she said, `I want you to be happy and make sure that Harry finds his too. Tell Janie about our conversations when she gets old enough'," Hermione smiled at Harry and explained that meant about boys in general, "then she stood up and looked at their clock like she was checking to see where everyone was. Then she just disappeared." Hermione wrapped her hands around her warm teacup and sat in silence with Harry for a few minutes. She stood up and walked around to the sofa and sat down while putting a hand on his back and rubbing it in small circles, like she had done so many times before. With a loud sigh he sat back against the sofa, forcing Hermione to remove her hand.
"I'm sorry I called you away from your bedtime to tell you a stupid dream. You obviously handled yours better than I just did." He gave her an apologetic smile and patted her knee. She grabbed his hand and laced her fingers through his.
"Harry-I just had that dream tonight. I fell asleep with Ben and was probably out for 20 minutes or so." They stared at each other, trying to sort through the events. Harry laid his head back finally and shut his eyes, feeling her hand squeeze a bit tighter on his as she laid her head back also, copying his posture.
Harry turned his head towards Hermione to find her staring at him, faces inches apart.
"I wonder what I am supposed to be thinking about this whole dream…thing." Harry asked softly, his eyes roaming over her face. She gave a small shrug and raised her eyebrows.
"I guess we should probably just let it roll around in our heads tonight. Maybe hit the library tomorrow and see if we can find anything on dreams."
"The library always has the answers," Harry joked, which earned him a jab in the leg with his hand still connected to Hermione's.
"Don't hit…didn't they teach you that at your primary school?" Harry joked, earning him a punch in the arm from her free right hand, but Harry being the Seeker that he was, caught it before she could pull away. Hermione was about to say something smart back to him, but he leaned forward and kissed her, pushing her words back in her throat. His mouth leisurely moved over hers enjoying the surprised little moan which encouraged Harry to pull her closer making their kiss become deeper and more intimate. As he could feel himself wanting more, he called up in every ounce of willpower he had and slowly pulled away adjusting his glasses and taking in Hermione's flushed face. They looked at each other intently, catching their breath, hands still entwined.
"Well," Hermione started to say and Harry shook his head slightly, which she knew to mean "don't say anything". He helped her up from the couch and gave her a big hug, feeling her lean into him.
"Thanks for coming over." Harry said softly and Herimone nodded.
"You'll be ok here?" she asked pulling away from him and this time he nodded. "Come by tomorrow."
"Sure will." Harry answered and let his fingers trail along hers as she walked towards the fireplace. After she grabbed some floo powder she looked back, smiled and then she was gone.
The next morning, after Bill came and collected Janie for a play date (with her five year old cousin, Victoire) Harry was just about to step into the fireplace, his hand already full of floo powder when an owl soared up to his window. Carefully placing the powder back into the canister, he opened the window and took the letter from the tawny colored owl. Immediately it turned around and was soon a small dot in the graying sky.
Elegant handwriting that he didn't recognize graced the front of the letter. Flipping it over he saw the Ministry of Magic Seal carefully applied on the back. He flopped down into his chair and slit open the back, unfolded the short letter and read through carefully. Twice.
Pocketing the letter, he resumed his movements from earlier and was soon ducking out of the Weasley fireplace into a very quiet, calm house. He guessed Mrs. Weasley was out visiting Mr. Lovegood, who recently had tried to start cooking gourmet meals and had requisitioned Mrs. Weasley to help him. Mr. Weasley was still at work, but he had expected to hear Ben laughing or Hermione reading him a book.
"Hermione?" Harry called wandering into the kitchen. Hermione held a finger to her lips and a cell phone to
her ear.
"I know mom. No, Ben doesn't need a second helping of pudding. Just one is fine. No matter how much he begs."
Harry smiled and quietly sat down at the kitchen table folding out the letter in front of him.
"Okay. Yes, he'll go down soon after lunch. Alright, cheers!" Hermione placed her phone back in her purse and rolled her eyes at Harry.
"My mum gets so paranoid when it comes to Ben. You think she'd remember how to feed a baby. She had me!"
"Is he there all day?"
"Yeah, she wants to take him to my father's work and show him off. Hopefully, he won't make anything fly if he has a temper tantrum. Not sure how you'd explain that in a dentist's office." Her eyes fell to the cream colored sheet with the red border that was laid out in front of Harry.
"You got a letter from the Ministry?"
"More of a job offer. Here," he slid it across the table and she intently read the few paragraphs.
"Wow, they want to offer you a job in reorganizing the Auror department? What do you think?"
Harry shrugged and folded the letter back up.
"I'm not sure. I was toying with the idea of talking to McGonagall about the DADA position, but the Ministry has onsite day care…," he looked up and could tell by the look on her face that she wanted him to take it. They had often talked about the breakdown in communication that had to have happened for a rouge group of death-eaters to come out of nowhere and kill numerous people.
"That's a plus, or I'm sure there are people here that would watch her."
"I know but I don't want to make them feel like they HAVE to watch her, just because I may choose to go back to work. I'm not sure I'd know how to go about reorganizing a department…but, what about you?" Harry changed the subject leaning back and assessing Hermione. "Are you going to go back to healing?"
"Honestly? No. I don't want to do that anymore. It was the hardest thing ever to lose Ron and Ginny; I can't imagine being a healer and having…someone else I love come in and I can't save them. Did you see how devastated Hannah Abbott was when she couldn't do anything for Ron?"
Harry nodded soberly, remembering that Hannah had been crying as much as the two of them that evening.
"I always thought I'd be strong enough to handle it. I was proved wrong I guess."
"You tried, Hermione. I read somewhere in a Muggle magazine that the average person changes jobs eight times in their lives. This will just be the second time for you," Harry smiled encouragingly. He saw her mouth the word "eight" like she couldn't imagine having that many jobs throughout her life.
"So, what DO you want to do?" he asked, shifting in his chair to stretch out his legs. He felt the letter crinkle in his jeans pocket and suddenly had an idea. "Hermione, I'm sure there has to be more than on position they need filled in the Auror Department! And, if this letter is right and they are offering me the top spot, I know I'll need help. You could work there if you wanted."
"I don't know…," she frowned and played with a fingernail. "I don't want Harry Potter getting me a job because you're a famous friend."
"There are ways around that. But listen," Harry leaned forward and laid his hand firmly over hers. "You've always said how you wanted to change things. You and I both. I know they had offered us jobs right after graduation but we were so…pissed at them we told them to blow it out their arse. But now? Here is our chance to not let this happen---again!"
He could see he had her attention. Her hands at stilled under his but her eyes were locked steady onto him.
"Who's to say that there isn't some little kid like…well, like Malfoy…having fun in the Dark Arts and in a
few years time getting friends together to try another uprising? We could help integrate new rules, establish contacts
in various areas that could be our ears when we aren't there."
Hermione interrupted him with a smile.
"It sounds as if you already have made up your mind."
He thought for a moment and leaned back, dragging his fingers off of hers, but at the last minute she grabbed then and held on tight.
"Have you?" she questioned.
"I-Well, I'd have to talk to this Auror Clogkey and see what this entails. And, I want ask how many people they think they need, if they are going to advertise or select people privately. Is it up to me? To her? I could give you a heads up or, I bet if need be, Mr. Weasley could."
"No. I would have to do this myself Harry. Not with other people's help. Plus, I'd have to see what the pay is and what daycare cost would be. Because I, like you, don't want to take advantage of the hospitality I'm already receiving." She gripped his hand tightly as she got up and walked over to the chair next to him continuing her thoughts.
"Are you sure you want to leave teaching?"
"I think so. I've been out for over a year and Hogwarts seems to have found someone that can last longer than anyone else in that post."
"Well, then maybe this is the job for you."
"Why don't we head over to the Ministry, say hello to Mr. Weasley and check out their employment board? I'm sure there has to be something there for you too."
Hermione was quiet, her thumb running absentminded circles on the top of his wrist making his insides squirm in a very pleasant way.
"What's wrong?" Harry asked trying not to think of the thumb caressing his wrist. He concentrated on watching her study the floor intently. It wasn't until he cleared his throat that her thumb stopped but she didn't look up. Hesitantly, he reached over and tilted her chin up so he could see her eyes. "You're conflicted aren't you?"
"I am," Hermione whispered as the full weight of her going back to work settled upon her shoulders. They both knew her funds were low. She didn't want her parents to know or they'd send money and she didn't want charity from them. She knew she'd have to return to work within a month if she was going to continue putting food in Ben's mouth and saving for a house of her own.
"You'll be fine. So will Ben. They'd be in the same daycare and have each other and with Lavender Brown heading that area up, you know she'd be giving him extra attention."
"Like he needs that," she gave him a small smile, thanking him for trying to allay her fears of leaving Ben.
"We all need a little extra attention. Babies just…more so… sometimes," Harry said his eyes widening as, again, thoughts came unbidden and just seemed to pour out of his mouth without crossing over his brain.
"Wow…that was deep, for you I mean," Hermione squeezed his hand and let her eyes flicker to his mouth. "No offense."
"None taken," Harry whispered feeling quite undone at the moment. He wasn't even really aware of leaning in until his lips touched hers. His brain seemed to shut down for a moment and it was only when Hermione was straddling him in the chair, their hands tangled in each others hair did he realize what they were doing. He must've hesitated, just for a moment, because Hermione suddenly pulled away her hand falling to her shoulders.
"Merlin…I," Harry started. And just as easily as the words came to him earlier, they had abandoned him now.
"That was…well, that was some great extra attention," Hermione said weakly, her forehead pressed against his. "I don't know what is happening, Harry."
"Me either." His hand slid to her hips, relieved that she hadn't moved any closer to his chest, because he'd definitely be quite undone by now.
"I think we should get our lives straightened out first before we launch into something that could potentially be…complicated," Hermione continued slowly disengaging herself.
"I'm sorry, it just happened," Harry blurted out, finding his glasses on the table and wondering when they had come off.
`That sounded so…trite!' he though busying himself with wiping off the fingerprints on his lenses.
"It takes two Harry," Hermione stood up, her hand resting for a moment on his shoulder. "And, I think we both kind of started it."
"Well," he cleared his throat again nervously, wondering what they were going to do now to fill this awkward moment.
"Why don't we head to the Ministry? Arthur just happened to forget his lunch…again," Hermione hinted, pulling a brown bag out of the refrigerator.
"Well, we don't want a Weasley to starve now do we?" Harry stood up and saw his shirt was untucked and noticed Hermione blushing as she turned away.
`Damn, she's got quick hands. When did she do that?' he thought as he quickly tucked it in and followed her out to the living room so they could floo to the Ministry of Magic.
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